


A Falling Star

by Mjus



Category: Skip Beat!
Genre: Angst, Family Issues, Gen, Minor Character Death, Misunderstandings, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-09-17 22:21:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 158,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9348914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mjus/pseuds/Mjus
Summary: Be it luck or bad luck or God playing around. The most unexpected happens when Mogami Kyoko receves a call from L.M.E. Her mother is looking for her.





	1. The most unexpected

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this back in 2009-2010 right before I sort of grew bored of the manga, so this story starts in by the end of the Dark Moon and middle of Box 'R' filming. Still I thought it might be worth updating.

_"Sho always believed his existence in Kyoko’s heart was bigger than anyone else’s."_

 

She didn’t take much notice to the commercial, not having much interest in TV. Only to keep an eye on him she watched Fuwa Sho’s PVs, and one of them made her suspicious. With _Dark_ _Moon_ her recognition started to click into place. A staff member recommended _Box ‘R’_.

* * *

Only a few weeks left the most and the shooting of _Dark Moon_ would be finished. More often than not Kyoko would catch herself feeling like she was slowly leaving a very near friend behind, or being left behind by one. _Box ‘R’_ didn’t have much more to go either, and she found she was really being left behind by Natsu as well. They were parts of her, and having to leave them felt terrible.

Moreover, she wasn’t very positive about her new role either. She had been given the lead role for her first movie and her excitement constantly fought with the disappointment and pain of the way too close-to-home theme. They had only just started shooting and everything was going very smoothly, yet she felt really uneasy.

“Mogami-san?”

She looked up at a sight she had seen many times; Tsuruga Ren looking down at her even when he was bending down. No matter the familiarity of the sight, it still surprised her.

“Ah, Tsuruga-san.” She smiled. “Otsukare-sama.”

Tsuruga smiled back gently. “Otsukare-sama, Mogami-san. Are you all right?”

She blinked at him. “Eh? Of course, Tsuruga-san.”

“Are you sure? You look really down.”

She decisively kept her smile in place, even when it became strained. “Yes, I’m sure. I’m just feeling a little… lonely, that’s all.” She half-expected him to at least raise an eyebrow at her or something else that showed disapproval, still she wasn’t surprised when his face became recognizing and understanding. Of course. Tsuruga Ren was a professional of world class. Hadn’t Hizuki-Sensei said it; “When a role is over you will feel lonely and left behind”. He was probably feeling the same.

“Kyoko-san, we’re ready here,” director Ogata called and waved with his ex of the script to get her attention.

“Coming,” she called back and stood. Bowing respectfully for her senior she went for the few last takes of _Dark Moon_ for the day.

* * *

A woman you notice stepped into the building and went straight for the desk where a young male looked up and hastily straightened. “Can I help you, ma’am?”

“I’m here for Mogami Kyoko. Tell me where she is.”

The young male hesitated and nervously fidgeted under the woman’s stare. “Would you please tell me her stage name? It will be easier for me to pick her out of the crowd.”

“Kyouko.”

His eyes lit up in slight recognition. “Oh, her. I will make a call. Please wait a moment. Your name, please.”

* * *

Be it luck, bad luck, fate, irony or just God playing around, but Kyoko had only just finished her takes and opened the door to her lounge to hear the ringing of her cell phone. Fishing out the device from her bag she answered with her usual, polite voice.

“Moshi, moshi, sorry for letting you wait. This is Mogami Kyoko speaking.”

“Kyouko-san, you have a guest waiting for you by the desk at L.M.E.”

Confused she went through all the people that could and would possibly seek her and wait by the introduction desk. It slimed down to zero.

“Really? Who?”

* * *

Yashiro knew Kyoko could run, having been outclassed by her in running once, but the speed she managed from her lounge and out the door would have an elite runner eating her dust. Even more surprising was the fact she didn’t once turn her head to tell anybody she was leaving or giving a word of goodbye. That was very unlike the Kyoko-chan he had gotten to know and love so much. The manager looked up to see Ren’s face mirror the surprise he felt.

* * *

She stood waiting impatiently by the desk, gaining looks from all that passed, some even turned and walked back only to be able to stare at her some more. The young male behind the desk felt very uncomfortable and confused. Uncomfortable by the woman’s presence and confused as to why she hadn’t contacted the president’s favourite directly. The confusion was also fuelled by Kyouko’s long silence before she had hurriedly hung up. Something really strange was going on.

He glanced at the woman again. A woman you notice, just like Kyouko, but in a different way. He had seen the teenager a few times, your average high-schooler, bright and happy with an overly expressive face over that bright pink overall or school uniform.

A whirlwind cast the doors open with a force that sent the people standing closest to it flying. It skidded to a halt in front of the woman at the desk and proved to be a ruffled Kyouko wheezing for air. Obviously she had been running all the way from the _Dark Moon_ set. The cloths she was wearing seemed to have been put on in a great hurry and she still hadn’t washed off the make-up.

She looked up into the eyes of the woman and confirmed a fact the young male behind the desk had guessed from their names.

“Mother.”


	2. Moagmi Saena

“Mother!”

There were memories in the single word spoken. Kyoko’s face couldn’t be correctly described with any words existing. Her happiness to see her mother, the treatment she had received, her fear and uncertainty, everything mixed together and showed in one single word.

“What are you doing here?”

The mother’s daughter straightened up and met the dark cold eyes, so unlike her own, looking down at her.

“I am…” rebuilding my life, getting revenge, creating myself, “working.”

Disapproval. “As what?”

She swallowed and tried to choose words that would get her mother’s approval in what she was trying to make of herself.

“As an actress.”

Narrowed eyes. More disapproval. “How old are you now?”

“I’m seventeen, mother.”

She saw the hand rising and knew what was to come, yet she didn’t move. The hand connected with her face and it hurt.

“I haven’t allowed this.” The words were cool against the hot pain. “Who has?”

The smaller looked back, her face still indescribable and wide-eyed. “The president.”

The hand rose again and hit her face, a little higher, a little harder. “Get your things and get out of here. I won’t allow you to stay in this place another second. You’re going back to Kyoto with the next train.”

She walked past the sloppily dressed daughter to leave, but for the first time in her life, for the first time in history, the girl talked back.

“I can’t do that!”

She stopped and slowly turned back to look into a pair of scared but determined eyes of a bright sunset.

“I beg your pardon.”

“I cannot leave yet. I have so little left. Nobody can take my place. I have only three jobs left. Please let me finish what I’ve started.”

The next day the daughter would have bruises on her face, two on the left side and one on the right. Her mother would have bruises too but on her hand.

“As long as you’re under my rule you do as I say: and I say **Drop everything and go back to Kyoto**.”

“Ma’am. I must protest.”

The look that hit him could have drilled a hole through a mountain. This time though he had something much greater than him to hold his back; Rules.

“You can’t just tell our artists to go home. You must talk this over with the president!”

 

* * *

 

President Lory Takarada believed in love in all its wonderful shapes and forms. Love was the centre of his life, the core of his very existence and what he lived for. He believed in love being the heart that made people walk and live and that everybody had it in them.

He wished he had never met the woman standing in front of him.

“Please be considerate, Mogami-dono. Both _Dark Moon_ and _Box ‘R’_ are almost finished and it is way too late to find a substitute for Mogami-kun. The movie she is participating in now won’t take too long to film either.”

“I refuse to have my daughter in this place,” the woman stated stubbornly. “I don’t care about your business. This has nothing to do with it. I want my daughter out of here this instant.”

Nobody had dared to talk like that against the president in a very long time and he found himself almost unable to answer. “I still must refuse. This is my business and Mogami-kun is dear to me. I can promise we have taken good care of her until now. Surely you can trust us with her a little while longer.”

“She’s still underage and can’t move unless I tell her to.”

“Well, that’s true. Still, at this point of time you have no choice but to meet me halfway. Removing Mogami-kun now would be a disaster for many people, me least of them. It’s only four jobs and for one of them they can quickly find a substitute. But you have to let her finish the other jobs.”

“I told you already I don’t care. If you don’t throw her out instantly both she and I will be in great trouble.”

It was a half lie, but Lory couldn’t tell which part was true and what was lie.

“I must refuse you still, Mogami-dono. This is a world where some people have a place where they must stay. Mogami-kun is one of them.

The woman glared at him for a long time with such hatred it hurt. It made her even angrier to see he wouldn’t be intimidated by her.

“Fine,” she spat at last. “But if something happens before that I’ll have your head on a platter.”

The woman glared at him with eyes like stones. Mogami-kun must have her father’s eyes.

 

* * *

 

In a corner of the “Love-me” section’s dressing room sat the object of the discussion in a nervous silence. Everything in her seemed to have gone quiet, and if she hadn’t had the pink overall in her lap she would never have been noticed if she had been seated in a crowded area. She hadn’t dared to put it on in fear it would mean she really would have to take it off again for good and go back to Kyoto.

Kyoto. What did she have in Kyoto? What did she have in Tokyo? What would she tell her Boss and Okami-san? What would they do when they found out the truth? She would have to tell them. What about school? And Moko-san?

Mogami Saena’s daughter lifted her head slightly. A friend is someone you share everything with. A true friend is someone who knows everything about you and loves you anyway. How could she share this with Moko-san? How could Moko-san even like her after being told the truth? Would she understand?

A small part of her heart was envious of the long-haired actress’s big family that obviously loved her in a way she hadn’t even dared to dream of. Could she really burden her friend with this one? If she really did have to return to Kyoto, would she be mad? Hate her? Would she understand?

She wouldn’t.

Moko-san knew nothing of suffering from being hated. She didn’t care what people thought of her and in return thought very little and low of them. Kyoko knew all this but ignored it. As long as she was allowed to love Moko-san she was happy, for she was the only one Kyoko could share the pain of not being able to love with. Even if their reasons were different.

The door opened and the president’s assistant’s voice was heard outside. “Mogami-san?”

She went up to the door and stopped. For a second she didn’t dare to open. Waiting had been painful but if the answer was that she had to leave and never come back she wanted to wait another second. The knock was heard again.

“Mogami-san, are you there?”

She couldn’t avoid it anymore. She had no choice but to face it. However painful. However much she wanted to fight it. She opened the door.

The assistant, Sebastian, calmly waited outside the door. He was used to see the president’s childish mood swings, but having never seen the painful, panicked anxiety in this young girl’s face his gaze softened.

“Please come with me. The president is waiting with notification of the result.”

Half of Saena’s daughter was relieved that she didn’t have to hear “Pack up, leave and never come back” yet. At the same time she wanted to scream at the man to tell her if she could stay or not.

 

* * *

 

In president Lory Takarada’s extravagant office Mogami Saena was still glaring at the older man with as much intensity as she could manage. Still trying to be intimidating. Still trying to make him change his mind.

“Ah, Mogami-kun.” Seeing the cold woman’s daughter’s face the president almost haltered. “Your mother has allowed you to stay long enough to finish your jobs.”

The relief mixed with painful knowledge. She still would have to leave and that her mother wasn’t happy. The woman’s expression was obvious enough. Lory watched obtrusively and frowned at what he saw.

This was a mother who didn’t love her daughter. This was a child who would do everything to make her mother love her. The younger Mogami bowed.

“Thank you so much.”

Her mother glared down at her back, drilling a hole in the cloths, skin, flesh and bone straight into the heart beneath. A heart that shivered at the chill and hatred. She froze in her position for a second.

The president smiled the best he could.

“It’s okay as long as you finish your work to the best for your ability.”

Kyoko straightened. The pain was still visible under her determination. “Right.”

The mother started leaving. Her daughter stared after her, then bowed for the president and hurried to talk to the woman. Behind they left a deeply worried man.

“Mother...”

They went out the office, down the corridors, past the desk where the young male stood at the sight of them but couldn’t say anything, and out the doors.

“Mother!”

Saena turned and glared hotly at the child, then the eyes turned cold and the expression stiffened. “Never did I believe my daughter would turn out to be such a whore. How many have you slept with to come this far?”

Her daughter’s face paled. The way she held herself straightened and stiffened and she seemed to have stopped breathing. Only her mouth moved a little. The mother didn’t wait to hear anything, denial or answer.

She left her daughter there.


	3. Hiding her face

The early morning was dark at this time of year. They were always the first to arrive to the sets to prepare their work. In showbiz, though they weren’t the same glory-whores as the people they were creating faces for, their work was worth more than the cameras.

The owner of the face he was so used to paint on appeared the second after he entered the set and her appearance shocked him to the core of his heart.

“Mogami-san! Your face! What happened to your face?! You look like you’ve taken a beating.”

He had to stare at the luckily not swollen dark marks on both sides of her face. Only once had this girl come to set with a scratch on her face. But these were bruises. Ugly, dark blue bruises that all must hurt terribly. She must have been slapped.

“Oh, nothing of the sort,” she denied with a smile and wave of her hand. “There was just this unfortunate accident.”

“Accident?!” It had to be a lie. There was just no way. He had been creating such marks with make-up, he knew what he saw. You didn’t get such bruises in an accident. Moreover, this girl wanted to be a professional actress. As such she was careful to never get a single little scratch on her body. She would never allow her face to be marked to this degree, especially not by an _accident_.

“Yes. Just an accident. I was really careless yesterday.” She looked up at him, anxiety obvious in her eyes. “They can be covered, right? Mio don’t have that many scenes left.”

He nodded, almost feeling defeated. Mogami-san had great pride in her work, and so had he. He would make sure nobody would suspect the existence of those bruises. He wasn’t very much her friend so he didn’t feel he had much right to demand answers from her.

 

* * *

 

They were outside today, filming the scenes outside the church when Mitzuki visited the graves of her parents. Director Ogata was really thorough about choosing places to film at. They had only been allowed to film until afternoon though, and only today.

Momose Itsuki arrived early, but not first.

“Kyoko-chan, you’re finished dressing already?”

Kyoko-chan, dressed as Mio, looked up from her script, surprise in her light eyes.

“Momose-san." She stood and bowed her usual deep, elegant bow. “Good morning. Let’s work well today too.” She straightened and had her eyebrows not been furrowed Momose would have believed in that smile. “Yes, I arrived earlier.”

Earlier? How much earlier? The scar took at least two hours, even now when the make-up artist had done it for almost six months. “But Kyoko-chan, we won’t start filming in at least two hours. You didn’t have to arrive _that_ early.”

“Well.” Her friend fidgeted and worried with her hands. Kyoko-chan was hiding something again. Still she smiled as if nothing was wrong. “I woke up so early and couldn’t find anything else to pass the time with so I came here. Here I can practice Mio’s scenes. We only have about three more weeks to go, right?”

Oh, so that was it. She smiled, almost feeling relieved. Kyoko-chan must be feeling the same as most of the other actors. She didn’t want the filming to end so she did everything to be together with her character for just another while. She understood that well, feeling it as well. Though she didn’t think she’d go to the same lengths as Kyoko-chan.

 

* * *

 

The morning passed along with noon and Mio was suddenly facing her last scene for the day. Later she had to the _Box ‘R’_ set and then she had to go to school and her afternoon classes.

“Cut. Kyoko-chan, don’t forget your lines.”

She was ripped out of the uninvited thoughts of Kyoko’s plans for the day. “Oh. I’m so sorry. Please let me try again.”

 “Right. Retake. From the beginning once again. Ready?”

Kyouko closed her eyes, took in air and let it out. Mio’s cold eyes opened and glared at the wall with a painful expression she was trying to hide. She was visiting Mitsuki-san’s parents’ graves where they met Katsuki-sensei and Mitsuki immediately forgets her sorrow.

“Scene thirty-eight, take four. Action.”

 

_Mizuki-san is so happy. She has no idea. That stupid girl is giddy to the point I want to rip her throat. Katsuki-sensei is smiling at her, trying harder than ever to conceal all the love his heart holds for her. They are stupid, both of them. Katsuki-sensei for loving someone like Mizuki-san when he has such plans for the future. Mizuki-san for being so annoyingly oblivious and blinded by love. It is just sickening._

_I cannot stand to watch anymore. I am feeling sick to my stomach. I must get away. I better go back home. Okaa-sama will be angry for coming back too early. Who cares?_

_I hear their voices and ignore them, in a hurry to get as far away from both of them as I possibly can._

_“Mio-san, wait. Where are you going?”_

_Mizuki-san’s voice. Why I am leaving? I cannot stay here seeing you so giddy with love and happiness when I know how that love will end, how your face will fall into the same darkness I am living in._

_“Mio-san!”_

_I stop and turn around, unable to hide the disgust I feel. Mizuki-san’s face flinches at the sight of mine. She disgusts me. Why do I feel like this? “Mio… -san?”_

_I feel the wind in my neck and my hair fall into my eyes, making it hard to see the other girl. That is probably for the best anyway. I do not want to look at her._

_“I will never be forgiven.”_

_Mizuki-san blinks. She does not understand. Of course. What had I expected? She has her head full of Katsuki-sensei. There is no room for understanding behind that bright forehead._

_“What do you mean… forgiven?”_

_I look away. Even if my hair covers most of my sight I can still see that stupid girl’s face. I just cannot look at that sweet, bright face anymore. I want to throw up._

_“I will never be forgiven. What I have done, what I feel. No one will ever forgive me.” I look back into those bright eyes that hold so many feelings I have never been able to feel for myself, that I have pushed away, that I lost from the moment of my birth. It hurts so much and I see my hand reach out to touch Mizuki-san’s light cheek, startling her._

_“I hoped that at least you would be forgiven.”_

_Mizuki-san’s face freeze in a shocked expression before I once again turn my back to and leave._

 

“Cut. Great you two. That’s it for today. You can leave.”

It took longer than usual for her to take control of herself. She had to blink several times before she managed to get rid of Mio’s feelings and regain her own. To tell the truth she even preferred Mio’s right now. Nothing she could do about it. She still didn’t know how she would tell everybody she was leaving showbiz. The feeling still felt too tight in her chest.

It was Mio’s last shot for the day and she had to go to _Box ‘R’_. She could become Natsu and feel something else again.

It was with slow steps she returned to the lounge. She would have to wash the make-up off and then the bruises would be back on display. She didn’t know how to explain them. The make-up artist had even said so; “You look like you’ve taken a beating.”

Looking up she suddenly saw him and grabbed the moment in flight. She couldn’t do this alone.

 

* * *

 

He almost jumped out of his shoes when someone suddenly grabbed onto his arm. Looking down he saw a black head and pale skin.

“M-Mogami-san? What…”

“Help me.”

Nobody else could have heard her whisper. He glanced around once to make sure. The muscles she was holding onto softened. He understood what she wanted help with and sighed in defeat. What the hell could a make-up artist do? It wasn’t like he could tell anybody either since Mogami-san so obviously didn’t want anybody to know.

“You wanna hide it still.”

She nodded quietly. He frowned in both worry and dislike. Still, what could he say? He wasn’t an actor and had a hard time understanding her feelings. He knew someone had beaten her and she was protecting that person. For the life of him he couldn’t figure out the reason. She looked up at him.

“You can use my things. Just cover it up.”

The look she gave him. She was desperate. What did you say to a face like that?

“Fine. Tell me how you want it.”

 

* * *

 

He watched them as unobtrusively as he could, still slowing and shortening his strides. Something was definitely not right with Mogami-san. She was acting normal, talking like always and done a normal good job. But there was something. In the way she held herself. In the way her eyes would sometimes flicker. It was like she was desperately trying to hide something. He wanted to know. That man seemed to know.

“Ren. What are you doing here?”

He turned to Yashiro-san, realizing he wasn’t moving anymore.

“Nothing. I just thought I’d check something.” And with that he reached out his hand and opened the door to his lounge. Thinking fast he fished out his mobile and checked the calls.

 

* * *

 

The one who left the _Dark Moon_ set was not Mogami Kyoko. Yashiro stared after her with open mouth before turning his eyes to his charge, seeing him taking in Kyoko-chan’s posture and looks. When she had entered a role like that she wouldn’t answer to Kyoko-chan’s name so they couldn’t ask anything.

Ren turned around and went straight for the lounge Kyoko-chan had left. The make-up artist exited just as the Ren approached.

“Excuse me.”

The man turned and flinched at the sight of them.

“Do you know what’s wrong with Mogami-san?”

To their surprise the man sighed deeply. “No, sorry. I have got no clue what’s wrong with her.”

“But you just helped with Kyoko-chan’s make-up, right? There must be a reason for that.”

He scratched his neck. “Well, yea. But she’s making a damn effort to not let anybody know. She had to let me know because I’m the one doing Mio’s face.” He looked up at them, partly on guard, partly apologizing. “She really wouldn’t appreciate me telling you, Tsuruga-san. Mogami-san has great pride and…” he sighed and threw out with his arms in a hopeless gesture. “I just don’t know what to do about it.”

Yashiro was about to protest when Ren suddenly spoke up.

“I understand. Thank you.”

Ren turned and walked back to the set. Katsuki still had several scenes to do. He hurried to catch up with his long strides.

“Ren. What’s the matter?! He obviously knows something.”

“Yes, but Mogami-san wouldn’t like it if we go prying.”

Well, he was forced to admit that to be true. Kyoko-chan had a tendency to be really upset when she caused troubles for others or failed with a job and show it in extreme ways. Whatever she was hiding had probably something to do with that. Maybe she just had a new role she didn’t know how to figure out. But if that was the case, shouldn’t she look to Ren for help?

 

* * *

 

Being Natsu was definitely better than being Mogami Kyoko. Natsu had self-confidence, pride and no more troubles than those of a completely normal high-school girl. She wasn’t being a disappointment to her parents. She wasn’t hated by them.

“Excuse me. Please, miss.”

She turned around as Mogami Kyoko. It was too hard to hold onto Natsu’s character right now. The one who had called was a man. She remembered having thought Sho was manly. She thought Tsuruga-san was maturely manly. But not like this. This was a man in both size and emanation, at least 6’5 feet tall.

“I’m sorry, but you can tell me how go to Queen Records? I afraid we are hopelessly lost.”

He had an accent. An accent that would make normal women weak in the knees. Kyoko could hardly stop staring.

“Yes,” she heard herself answer and pried her eyes off his face to point out the direction. “You go that way, turn… right when you pass that spear, you see.” She pointed out a high, spear like thing, from the corner of her eye seeing him bend down to follow her finger. “If you turn left you end up at Sonic Music Entertainment. Are you walking?”

“No. We drive.” He turned his head to a parked car where she could see three faces staring at them. Two of them seemed very young from her view.

“Okay then. You must turn right then left after you’ve passed a mall, it’s the only one on that road so you can’t miss it. After that, keep your eyes open to the left and you’ll find it.”

He smiled down at her with such relief and happiness she had to smile back. She realized he couldn’t be as old as his size suggested. Couldn’t be much older than Tsuruga-san.

“Thank you. You really a lifesaver.” He looked down at her with a gaze that took in her features. He had beautiful eyes. Like the sky.

She took the moment to take in the details of him and was almost surprised to realize he had to be a rocker. Hard-core rocker. Complete with face tattoos. He had no piercings though, but the tattoos made up for that.

She took in his cloths and realized that for a hard-core rocker he was very nicely dressed. Nothing screaming “Here I am, look at me” like the stuff Sho liked to wear. Just a black shirt and fitting jeans. Not even the belt called for attention.

The smile that suddenly met her surprised her with its gentleness.

“There are people who love you.”

Her eyes widened and then she felt his hand on her shoulder. A warm, friendly hand. Warmth spread through her body from the touch.

She had to watch as the man stepped into the car and start it. In the window behind him was a young girl’s face. The girl breathed on the window and wrote a kanji in the mist.

“Thank you”

The young girl smiled brightly at her.

 

* * *

 

“Ah, Mogami-san. Good timing.”

She looked up at the director, realizing she was still smiling. His smile widened upon seeing her face.

“Good, your make-up’s done. Go change so we can get started. We’ll shoot scene twelve in ten minutes.”

“Yes. Let’s work hard.” She bowed and hurried down the corridor to her lounge. Without knowing how, that man and child had lifted her spirits and made her believe that maybe, just maybe, she wasn’t such a failure after all. He had said there were people who loved her. At the moment she didn’t care what he meant or why he had said that, but she had really needed to hear those words.

She could still do a good job. She could still act for some time. She could make her mother see her, acknowledge her and let her stay in showbiz.

She smiled.


	4. The Dead Saints

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All song lyrics appearing in this story are mine.

“They’re late.”

“Sho, they come straight for Russia. Most likely the plan was late and now they’re in a fix trying to find their way here.”

“Don’t they have a map or GPS? Really. If you come from another place, knowing where the hell you’re going is the least you can do.”

Shoko sighed. It was no use talking sense to Sho right now. Whatever had him in a bad mood, she hoped it wouldn’t show when _they_ arrived. Russia’s biggest international metal band.

The door opened and a woman peeked in before she turned around. “Here they are, sir.”

Through the door they could see a darkly dressed body that bowed to duck into the room.

“Thank...” _bonk_.

“Sir! Are you okay? Did it hurt?!”

Those were rather stupid questions. Someone else said something with emphasis but Shoko couldn’t make out the words.

The man entered the room bent down and holding his forehead, waving the woman off.

“Fine, fine.” Then he straightened and looked at them all, smiling a little. “Sorry we late.”

She couldn’t stop herself from staring. He was without a doubt the tallest man she had ever seen, and the manliest. Sho was a bishonen with high thoughts of his manliness, but this was a real man. His hair was short and wild with darker and lighter locks in it and he had tattoos in his face. That must have hurt. His skin was tanned and he hadn’t shaved this morning. His shoulders were broad and his chest looked hard. His hips weren’t as slim as Sho’s either and his legs…

She had to blink before she realized what she saw. Clinging to the man’s legs were two young girls, one about four and the other couldn’t be older than twelve years old.

“What took you so long?”

Sho’s voice ripped Shoko out of her staring and she blushed, realizing she must have stared hard too.

“I was sick of waiting.”

Did Sho know how to not be rude? Right now it annoyed her. _She_ at least wanted to make the best impression possible.

“Plane was late.” His voice was the deep kind that made her weak to her knees, and what a lovely sounding accent. “Map must be too old for we lost our way. I had to pick out somebody who could help.”

“Sorry we’re not complete.”

She turned to another woman, once again realizing just how much that man took up her vision. This was a woman with naturally dark skin and… purple eyes. She looked like she was under the influence of drugs. Not the type of woman Sho liked.

“Well then. I’m Fuwa Sho, singer and musician.”

The man smiled and took his hand. “Nice make you acquaintance, Fuva. My name’s Kirill Mertvye, singer and musician also.” They shook hands and she noticed a small flicker of her charge’s eye. Did the man grip his hand too hard?

“I’m Malin Conner, bassist,” the woman said before lifting up the eldest child. “This is Elexa and the little one is Zoya.”

“Why did you bring your children?” Sho said frowning at the little girl in Conner-san’s arms.

Kirill-san held up a finger. “Not _our_ children. Mine. They are part of the band.” He smirked. “We are _Mertvye Svjatye_ , _The dead Saints_.”

 

* * *

 

There was a lot of commotion in school today she realized as another group of boys waltzed down the corridor singing the same song as many before them and obviously thought they were cool.

At last one of the groups of girls had enough and stopped them.

“Look you guys. We are trying to study so lower your voices.”

“And what are you singing anyway. You obviously can’t sing, you no-talent idiots.” She knew that voice. Mimori-san was obviously among them.

“Talk for yourself, Mimori,” one of the guys shot back, obviously she had hit his pride hard. “You’re a mushroom compared to _Metuye Tsuvaye_ , the best hard-rock band in modern history.”

She looked up and stared at them. What rock-band went under such a nonsense name?

“What a foolish name,” the girls agreed with her thoughts.

“It’s not foolish!” the boys almost screamed. “It’s Russian for _The dead Saints_. They arrived to Japan yesterday. All the band members are super-special. Their drummer is a European supermodel known as Queen. They have an eleven year old back-singer singing opera. Their vocalist is known as a medium and psychic. The bassist is their manager and designer of all their cloths. Their keyboarder is completely blind and still never misses a tune even in the most advanced of scores. I don’t know who’s writing the songs but nobody else in this world could even wish to compete.”

“Sho-chan could beat them with his left pinkie,” Mimori-san almost screamed.

“Fuwa-san’s a bug beside _The dead Saints_.”

“Don’t you dare call Sho-chan a bug you toads!”

There they went. She sighed. None of them knew Sho as well as her and still they all insisted on rising and stomping him. Their feelings were smaller than a bacteria compared to hers.

The thought pierced her heart. Sho! Her revenge! His challenge! He was going to humiliate her until she crawled out under the door or disappeared through the keyhole. What would her mother say about her running away and coming here with him?

“How many have you slept with to come this far?”

Her insides tied knots of themselves. How could she convince her mother that wasn’t the case? How could she ever make her believe what she had done, what Sho had done, why she was working so hard to become a star?

This far she had been fighting her hands bloody, hit her head against obstacles that had seemed unbreakable, used the kindness of others as far as her conscience had allowed, she had done everything. Everything but selling herself. Looking back now she wanted to throw up.

 

* * *

 

Hikaru was waiting anxiously. They were all waiting anxiously. The producer had just indifferently told them that Kyoko-chan would quit and starting next week Bou would be played by someone else. The job was already out on the market and people had called in their interest.

“There’s gotta be a logical explanation,” Yuusei said for the second time. “Kyoko-chan isn’t the type to quit just like that, and without telling us.”

“I know,” he answered in frustration and drew a hand threw his newly styled hair. There was that rumour too. It had reached his ears in a whisper and had him worried. Now he was both frustrated and angry.

The door opened quietly and they all spun around in time to see her head peek in. She smiled. This was the first time he had seen her with so much make-up on. Usually she only had some lip balsam.

“Good evening, Hikaru-san, Shinishi-san, Yuusei-san.” She bowed deep for them. “Let’s work hard today too.”

“Kyoko-chan.”

Her posture froze. When she slowly straightened her back he saw the smile had disappeared, replaced by guilt and fear. That was unexpected. Shinishi asked first.

“Is it true you’re quitting?”

They watched her flinch and face the floor. Her knuckles whitened from her hard grip on her own hand.

“Yes.”

Something was wrong.

“Why? This sort of information. I thought you were the kind of girl to tell us directly in person.”

“Right! How come we had to find out through the producer?”

“How long have you planned this?”

Her shoulders were trembling. Maybe they were a little hard on her, but they had been working together for almost a year now. They were bound to be upset when suddenly told one of the members would quit. The producer’s indifference had probably ticked them off even more than the actual news.

Seeing the amount of make-up he thought of the rumour.

“Hey, Kyoko-chan,” he started, gentler this time. “Is it true your mother hit you officially? Is that why you’re quitting?” Yuusei and Shinishi gaped first at him and then at Kyoko-chan.

Her head jerked up. “No, that’s not true. It’s my fault that I’m a disappointment for her. That’s not it.”

They stared at her terrified face as she realized what she was saying. She hadn’t meant to let that slip obviously. They looked at each other as her eyes once again fixed on the floor.

“So why are you quitting?”

She didn’t answer at first. Her hand’s grip of the other hardened.

“Mother doesn’t like that I’m working as an actress. And since I’m still underage I can’t stay in showbiz.”

“What? Wait, you’re leaving showbiz completely.” They stared at her with open mouths.

The words slipped out of his mouth before he realized they had been on their way. “I thought you were only leaving us.”

Her head lifted. “No, I would never do that in this sort of way!”

He looked at her hands. She had long, slender fingers he knew and she was crushing them.

“Fine,” he stated, grabbing her hands and started separating them gently. Only then she seemed to realize what they had been doing. He looked up at her again and smiled encouraging, trying to hold the hurt at bay. “Let’s work hard today too.”

She stared at him for a second. “You don’t hate me?”

“Hate you? Why would I...” he glanced over his shoulder at the younger members of his band, seeing them smirk knowingly at him and had to fight down a blush. “-we hate you? It’s not your fault, obviously.” He smiled at her again, trying to lift her spirits. Bou couldn’t be a sad figure after all. The others reached around him and grabbed a hand each. Smiling to prove they really didn’t hate her.

Her face broke with a smile of pure relief. “Thank you.” Her hands squeezed his a little.

“Let’s get started,” Shinishi said, lifting his own, Kyoko-chan’s and Hikaru’s hands in the air. “Today we have some real rockets appearing in the show.”

“Really? Who?” Kyoko-chan blinked. She never knew who was to appear until she got here.

They all grinned at her.

 

* * *

 

Hikaru-san opened. “Hallo everybody. Welcome back to _Totally Wild Rock_. Today we have guests from overseas and from the clothing of our audience I can tell they all know who’s coming today.”

Shinishi-san took over. “But for those of you who don’t know I’ll give you a hint. It’s a band with members from Russia, Egypt and Scotland. Today though we only have the vocalists here with us.”

Yuusei-san smiled. “Wish me good luck pronouncing their names correctly. I’ve been trying for three hours straight to pronounce the original band name and failed.” The audience giggled. “Welcome to the scene, Kilill and Elekka Metsvie from _The dead Saints_.”

The crowd had never given this kind of response even when Tsuruga-san entered the stage. She had heard the crowd scream, she had heard them all start singing the guests’ most popular melodies, she had heard them agree and disagree, she had heard them roll about in laugher. None of that could be compared to this absolute _roar_.  And since Bou was a rooster –usually afraid of wild animals– she jumped higher than even herself thought was possible.

She flapped with Bou’s wings as she recognized the man entering the scene. It was the one who had asked her for directions yesterday! His face tattoos were highly visible since his hair was pulled back from his face. The hair was blond she noticed. Naturally blond, not dyed like Sho’s. It was the first time she saw it. The cloths he wore were simple but he moved with so much style it didn’t matter. His blue eyes seemed even bigger than yesterday as they suddenly landed on her.

She blinked. Her? Was he seriously looking at _her_? Could he see her through the costume?

There was another pair of eyes on her as well, mismatched as one was green and the other blue. It was the little girl who had written “Thank you” to her and smiled in a way that had made her believe things would be all right after all. She smiled at her now too, wearing a turtle-necked sleeveless top tucked into a pair of formfitting jeans. She had long, reddish hair too, tied up in a high ponytail.

“Welcome to Japan,” Hikaru-san welcomed the guests as they seated in the chairs.

“How did I do with your names?” Yuusei-san smiled hopefully.

“Better than most,” the man answered. “No hurt your pride but let all hear the right pronouncing, our names are Kirill and Elexa Mertvye.”

She noticed some women in the audience sighing the way a woman overly in love does and how their bodies reacted on the man’s voice. Weren’t they overreacting? Even if his voice had a wonderful sound they didn’t have to swoon upon hearing it.

Hikaru-san laughed. “Why don’t you show us how to pronounce the band name while you’re at it?”

The girl and man said it in a perfect chorus. “Mertvye Svjatye.”

Bridge Rock stared, mostly at the little girl. “Excuse us,” Hikaru-san said with an apologetic smile. “We weren’t sure about Elekka-chan’s ability to understand.”

“I understand better than papa,” the girl said, surprising them all with perfect pronouncing.

“Um. Papa?” They stared at the man, who smiled back.

“Adoptive. I have not own children.”

“Yet.”

The man gave proof of his professionalism by not answering to that. Hikaru-san cleared his throat and cast a quick glance at Bou.

“Is it fine for me to call you Kilill-san?”

“Be my guest.”

He smiled relived. “Kilill-san, you’re the only male in the kind of band that usually only have one or two females. How come?”

“They were the people I met along the way,” the man said simply with a wave of his hand, implying he wouldn’t say more until questioned. Kyoko could tell he was more than used to being in these shows and had found a way to get his point across without using words or tone. How he did it she couldn’t tell but he managed.

“But isn’t it hard to travel around with only females? There got to be a lot of rumours running around you in Russia.”

“There are rumours but they all flies…” The man glanced at the girl by his side.

“He means the rumours are groundless,” she helped.

“Yes, that it. We are official people with no more secrets than the necessary.”

The members of Bridge Rock looked upon this man with new respect. It wasn’t often they had guests that didn’t try to avoid certain issues and stayed completely honest without a strain of effort.

“You’re brave, Kilill-san,” Shinishi-san stated. “But now I’m very curious to how you started the band.”

The man was silent for some time, as if that was something worth choosing words for. Hadn’t he told this story a bunch of times before?

“Let say it happened. I was good musician and started writing music as way to express my feelings in other way than word. When I played Elexa started sing. Some of oldest texts are mostly hers I wrote down. Malin was professional dancer then already and Yuni was excellent drummer. Tell the truth our first real performance was playing for Malin’s dancing.”

“Wow.”

Hikaru-san could say that again. Though it did sting a little in Kyoko’s heart that they had become so big when they hadn’t aimed for the stars when she was striving for them with more than her might.

Her mother glared at her in her memories.

“Kilill-san?”

Kyoko looked over to see the man looking straight at her before he turned back to her friends.

“Forgive me. What you say?”

“I asked, no offence still, why you choose hard-rock with such a young singer.” Yuusei-san glanced at the young girl.

To their surprise the man choked a laugh. “Yuni threw a fit.”

“Huh?”

The man was positively shaking with held back laugher.

“Yuni threw a fit on drums.”

It was almost time to bring out the eggs so she went backstage and picked them up, coming back just in time to hear the tail of Shinichi-san’s stating.

“…with Fuwa Sho.”

Something cold and sharp squeezed her heart and suddenly a pair of blue eyes was looking at her. The sickness stilled and her heart slowed down into its normal pace, so she was able to deliver the eggs. What happened?

Hikaru-san noticed her. “Oh great timing, Bou.”

She tilted her head from side to side in some sort of “I know” motion and gave the basket to him. Turing to the guests she jumped and hid behind Bridge Rock’s chairs in a funny way. The guys laughed.

“Seems like Bou’s afraid of you,” Yuusei-san said as he patted the back of her costume. She could only faintly feel it.

“Why?” The man sounded honestly surprised. Kyoko could imagine Hikaru-san killing a few brain cells to come up with a good reason.

“It must be the roar you entered with,” he said quickly. “We’ve never heard something like that in this studio so Bou probably thought there was a wild animal around.”

She looked up from behind Shinishi-san, playing the part of chicken hiding from a fox and warily glanced around her. To her surprise the man’s eyes glistened.

“Let’s change that,” the girl said and stood, walking up to Bou who turned to hide behind Hikaru-san instead, showing Bou’s oversized butt to the girl. She could hear the audience giggle and choke and some laughed openly.

The girl surprised her by crawling in under Bou’s wing. She looked up and smirked at her. “Papa’s bad so be my friend. I will protect you.

Pushing away from the floor Bou softly pecked the girl’s head in approval. The two of them leaned against each other with Bou’s wing over the girl’s shoulders and her smaller arm around as much of Bou’s soft body as it could reach. They looked at the man in the armchair, who threw his head back and laughed wholeheartedly.

The evening rolled peacefully and then it was time for the guests to close the program by playing a song.

To everyone’s surprise the man picked out a violin. Her friends even gaped at him until they remembered themselves.

“Um, Kilill-san?”

“Surprised?” He smiled at them, obviously ignoring their looks.

“Yes, actually,” Hikaru-san started. “We have music prepared for you.”

“Yes, we know,” the girl under Bou’s wing said and the smirk was clear in her voice. “But to honour our fans here in Japan we’ll do a new version of it.”

The “Oh” wasn’t said out loud but was clearly seen in the guy’s faces.

“Alright folks,” Shinishi-san said into the camera as Bou danced in the background. “It’s time to close the case for tonight. We hope you’ve had as great an evening as us. We from Bride Rock wish you all good night and see you next week. Now here comes for the first time in Japan; _The dead Saints_.”

The music started playing and the tall man filled in with his violin. He was surprisingly good considering he didn’t seem to be the type to play that kind of instrument. It was small in his hands. The melody was mystic but when the girl started singing Kyoko stiffened. It was in English.

 

_Ride far, ride fast_

_Far as you can leave me_

_Ride till you know we won’t meet again_

_Ghosts will chase you once the moon is set free_

_You know you must leave the world of men_

 

That little girl had more voice than anyone Kyoko had heard before. Stealing a glance at Bridge Rock she saw them sitting with open mouths. Thinking it would damage their image she reached out a wing and closed Hikaru-san’s mouth carefully. He looked up at her, then at his friends and closed their mouths.

The man filled in though he still played. Their voices made a perfect combo.

 

_Leave me as a memory_

_somewhere in your life when you crossed me_

_Leave me as a memory_

_somewhere in your life when you crossed me_

 

Short instrumental solo. Kyoko looked at the crowd to see them sitting as hypnotized, they too with their mouths hanging open unceremoniously. To see their faces through the cameras she suddenly noticed the singers too had some kind of glassy look in their eyes. The girl continued to sing the verses alone.

 

_Take it, ride now_

_while you think I’m sleeping_

_Sun is falling with a golden pride_

_She will scream while her eyes keep on weeping_

_I watch as you mount your horse and ride_

 

It felt like they were trying to hypnotize everybody listening, and almost managed. She didn’t know why but she kept looking at the reactions of the crowd and her friends. She also had to admit there was some kind of poison in the melody when the man added to the song with his deep voice.

 

_As you through the land steer forth_

_leave me here with just a memory’s worth_

_As you through the land steer forth_

_leave me here with just a memory’s worth_

 

The music changed and the man started making howling sounds, like a wolf. Why were those women’s legs trembling like that? Did they need to pee? Then suddenly the lyrics sank in and she felt her body go cold. How much was a memory worth? Her most important memories had turned to ashes when she realized how much of worth she was to Sho.

Corn. What would she do if her memories of Corn… She didn’t even dare to finish the thought. The memory of Corn was her light in life, her comfort and consoling.

Suddenly the man played and sang solo.

 

_Fallen angel_

_rising with the Devil_

_Liar, teller carrying the truth_

_God is watching, he can only stay still_

_Someone thought they sold their child for youth_

 

Her heart froze and she forgot what warmth felt like. It felt like her stomach shrunk and she slowly turned to leave unnoticed, no longer interested in the reactions of the audience or Bride Rock.

 

_I will raise your child as told_

_I will love her high as you grow old_

_I will raise your child as told_

_I will love her high as you grow old_

_I will raise your child as told_

_I will love her hi…_

 

As the door closed behind Bou’s feathers she rushed down the corridor to her changing room, jumped out of the costume and went straight for the bathroom.

They sold their child.

It hurt. She couldn’t say why she was so disturbed by that line but it pierced her heart worse than Sho’s words “Not almost like a maid” had done.

The acknowledgement of her own feelings tried to surface and she fought back. She didn’t need to know that. She didn’t need the self-consciousness.

She threw up again.

That’s it! She must be sick! She hadn’t noticed earlier because the visit of her mother and the knowledge she had to leave showbiz occupied her mind twenty-four seven. That was it. It had to be. It couldn’t be anything else. She wasn’t moved by those lyrics. She had simply caught something and hadn’t noticed until she sang those words.

That had to be it.

 

* * *

 

Worried he walked towards Kyoko-chan’s room. When Kilill-san and Elekka-chan stopped singing he had been applauding them and turned to look at Bou, only to find him gone, and automatically Kyoko-chan too. Usually Bou stayed behind to make friends with the guests. It had never happened before that he suddenly was gone. He was worried.

“Kyoko-chan, are you there?” he called while knocking on the door.

He heard movement inside and the door opened. She was wearing the training suit that he had grown unusually attached to. Upon seeing Kyoko’s face his eyes widened.

“I’m sorry I just ran out,” she said but he hardly heard her. “I suddenly felt very sick so I had to...”

“Your face.”

“Eh?”

He saw her eyes widen in terror and was met by the door as he tried to take a step forward.

“Kyoko-chan!” He half-heartedly pushed on the door.

It was true. Her mother had hit her, hard enough to bruise. Hadn’t she been filming _Dark Moon_ today? Why hadn’t he noticed earlier?

It dawned on him. Kyoko-chan had been wearing so much make-up earlier. It was to hide her face!

 

* * *

 

She stood leaning on the door not knowing what was worse; having Hikaru-san see her face or closing the door in his. She had totally forgotten the make-up that had covered the bruises the whole day and had been washed off before she put on Bou’s head.

Her heart rate was almost too high for her to breathe and when the knock was heard on the door again she felt the vibration threw her body. What should she do? Open the door? Keep it close and pretend to be sick again? Hide in the Bou costume? Was there another way out of the room?

“Kyoko-chan, please open the door.”

She didn’t know what to believe. Hikaru-san didn’t sound mad. Thinking hard she realized she had never seen him angry and was happy it wasn’t Tsuruga-san standing outside. Had it been the actor she would never have dared to open the door. But she only opened it a slit so she could hear him better.

“Do you have any more jobs after this?”

Surprised she started thinking. Usually she went by the office to pick up more Love-Me mission for the next day, but she didn’t even know if there would be any more of those again and her stomach clenched again. Never would she have thought the day would come when she longed for the Love-Me uniform.

“No,” she answered quietly.

“Let me drive you home.”

She didn’t know what emotion was the strongest, the surprise or the raw terror. Of course she was surprised. Hikaru-san had never asked to drive her home before. He had asked to share a late dinner with him and Yuusei-sand and Shinishi-san but she had never made them company since she was never done working.

“Your mother has allowed you to stay long enough to finish your jobs.”

That’s what the president had said. Did that mean that there wouldn’t be any more requests of her as a Love-Me member?

She didn’t want to get it confirmed.

“Okay,” she answered. It would be the fastest way to get back to Daruma-Ya. She hoped the boss and Okami-san was already asleep. Or at least out.

“Please wait here and I’ll tell the guys.”

She heard his light footsteps fade away and she closed the door. Looking at Bou’s costume she wondered when she would wear it again. _If_ she would wear it again.

 

* * *

 

He wasn’t sure if he was feeling happy that Kyoko-chan had finally accepted his invitation or mad that the invitation she had accepted was for him to take her home. Alas he should use this opportunity to properly ask what had happed. He saw himself as her friend and hoped she returned at least those feelings.

“Which way now?”

She looked up, checked the surroundings and pointed out the way and telling him the next few turns. “Then you can drop me off.”

Those words cut in his heart. “I can drive you to the door, no trouble.”

“No, please.” She looked down on her hands. “I don’t want to disturb Boss and Okami-san.”

Hikaru had known Kyoko had a slight dialect, but it had never been as pronounced as now. He couldn’t help but smile. “Fine. But let me walk you to the door at least. Even if it’s not that late it’s still almost dark. I want to make sure you’re safe.”

That sounded so cliché he nearly blushed at himself. Wasn’t it that kind of line that a boyfriend said when he wanted an invitation inside? His blush deepened.

“Hikaru-san, you missed the turn!”

Waking up from his fantasies he slowed the car and looked around. “Is it possible to get around if I take the next turn?”

“I’ve only biked that route.”

“Aha. Let’s give it a try,” he decided and started the blinkers to take the next turn. It brought them to a small parking lot. They looked at each other and couldn’t help but laugh. It felt good to hear her laugh again.

They got out and he walked around the car to stand by her side.

“You really don’t have to.”

He looked at the sky. It wasn’t that dark yet but still dark enough for perverts to hide in the shadows he imagined.

“I want to,” he heard himself say and then wanted to hit his forehead. What if Kyoko-chan took it strangely?

Her eyes brought him back to reality. Something was really not right with her. He took in her bruised face in more detail. They were on both sides of her face, near the eyes, and must hurt. The one on the left side of her face was bigger than the one on the right. Had she been alright in the Bou costume earlier?

“Why are you leaving showbiz?”

She lifted her head to look at him. “I told you earlier.” She tried to smile, but it was only her lips that did. “Mother doesn’t like this kind of work. So...”

“Why not?”

That question had obviously never crossed her mind judging from the look she gave him.

“Kyoko-chan, you’re doing a great job. Mio in _Dark Moon_ and what’s her name? The charismatic high-school student. Many of our viewers are fans of yours you know. You’re a great person. Why wouldn’t she appreciate you having this work?”

She stared at him and he couldn’t read the thoughts that ran behind her eyes. She had beautiful eyes that reminded him of a sunset. It was a long moment of silence before she lowered her gaze. The tiniest of smiles could be hinted on her lips, and it wasn’t her usual kind of smile. It seemed to him she was trying to convince herself more than him.

“I’m sure she has her reasons. But you know,” she looked up at him and his chest felt tight seeing the mixed emotions of happiness and desperation in her smile and eyes. “She’s talking to me.”

He couldn’t take anymore. Kyoko-chan’s mother wasn’t a mother. Whatever she was she didn’t deserve to call herself a mother if this was how she made her daughter feel.

“The other day was the first time she looked in my face and talked to me. Maybe she was wo...”

“Stop it!” Only when he heard Kyoko-chan’s sharp inhale against his ear did he realize he was pressing her against him. His heart still beat with cold pain and he fought to find a good reason for holding her like this. He could feel the heat in his face.

“Kyoko-chan, you don’t have to…” what? Trust your mother? Listen to her? Quit? “force yourself.” He moved his arms into a more comfortable position so that he wouldn’t hurt her. She was still stiff and hardly breathed. “Kyoko-chan. You’re really… a great person. I like you…” what was he saying?! It wasn’t only he who would suffer when she left. Yuusei and Shinishi would miss her too! “We all like you a lot. You’re our friend so…” now what? “So just…” he desperately reached for the right words. “Just stop forcing yourself.”

Was he stupid or what? She was soft to hold. What was he going to do now? Let her go? Keep insisting on following her home in an awkward silence?

A hiccup brought him straight back. Kyoko-chan’s shoulders were shaking. Her whole body was shaking. Was she crying? Had he made her cry? He took a step back.

“K-Kyoko-chan!?”

“I…” she sobbed and sniffed. “I don’t… want to quit.”

He gaped. Kyoko-chan was…

“I… I want to stay… I want to keep… working.” Her sobbing got worse and he didn’t know what to do. “I want to stay… with you guys…”

Despite the situation, despite everything she had said earlier, despite Kyoko-chan’s pain, warmth emitted from his chest and he smiled. He gently closed his arms around her again, placing her head on his shoulder and took the chance to pull his fingers through her hair.

“I know, Kyoko-chan.”

They stood there for a long time, until Kyoko-chan got her tears under control. She must have tried so hard to not cry. Hikaru remembered his mother comforting him as a child and slowly started rocking from side to side.

It was dark for real when she finally lifted her head from his shoulder.

“Sorry. I got your jacket all wet.”

He checked. She had really cried a river. “Don’t worry. It will dry soon.” He brushed the hair away from her eyes. They had gone red. Would he have been able to hold her if they had gone for a dinner? She wouldn’t have cried on him like this, he was sure. Kyoko-chan was strong.

“Come on. I’ll follow you home.”

The smile she gave him this time was genuine and it felt much better.

 

* * *

 

That girl! Who was that man? They seemed close. A workmate, friend or something more? They seemed like they were only friends, but you can never trust the first impression around actors.

She swallowed the bile. She felt sick. That girl had really managed to involve herself. Didn’t she know anything about the world? Was she blind? Was there a straw of truth in the rumours? That couldn’t be! She was crazy! It was already too late. Everything was already far too late!

Looking at her hands she noticed her nails had pierced the skin of her palms and blood had dripped down on her expensive skirt. She watched the couple through the rear-view mirror again. They were leaving. He was walking very close to her. Or she walked close to him.

“No. Oh God. Please don’t do this.”

This couldn’t go on. This wouldn’t go on. She would put an end to the pain. It must come to an end!

What had started as an investigation of Kyoko’s landlords had ended like this. Checking the mirrors again she made sure the couple was gone before starting the engineer. This evil circle would end if she so had to do it herself.

…no. She couldn’t do it herself. There were professionals, right?

Ignoring the cold stone in her stomach and the bile threatening to choke her she drove back to the hotel.


	5. Questions not asked

Kyoko felt better when she went to bed that night. Hikaru-san was a really nice person. Shinishi-san and Yuusei-san were perhaps worried about her as well. Maybe she should have accepted some of those invitations to eat with the guys. She was sure they would have been even better friends than they were if she had, and she would know how much she could confide in them. It felt rather hard to realize that the moment she was leaving.

Laying down and pulling the blanket over her she thought of the future. School tomorrow and in the evening she would go on-location filming the movie _Always a child_ in Abiko north of Tokyo for four days. The director was stern, and sometimes really weird, but had a good heart and had prepared a bus for those who 1) didn’t know the way, 2) didn’t own a car or 3) had no other way to get there.

“Why not?”

Hikaru-san’s words echoed in her mind again, against her will.

Why indeed.

No! She didn’t know anything about why. It had never been a question so she didn’t have an answer. There was no answer. She seriously didn’t know.

Crawling into a tight ball under her blanket she didn’t ask why. Because she _didn’t_ have an answer. As long as she didn’t ask she wouldn’t have an answer. How else was she supposed to go on?

 

* * *

 

The mansion outside Abiko was idyllic, surrounded by meadows, smelled forest and somehow put her at ease. She didn’t even know she had been tense until she got off the bus.

“Kyouko-chan, have you been to this kind of place before?”

She turned to a fellow actress, a pretty looking girl with reddish hair and dark brown eyes. Kyoko didn’t know what it was, but something about her felt off, like her friendliness was a cover. She decided to once again ignore the uneasiness that crawled under her skin and smiled.

“Not at all, Hoshisawa-san.”

“Really? You suddenly seemed to be relaxed, like you came home.”

“Ah. No, really. I’ve never been here before. I think… I probably just needed a change of scenery.” That was true. Being in Tokyo meant being close to a lot of confessions she wasn’t ready to make just yet. The time pressure didn’t do anything to help either.

Hoshisawa-san, was she smirking? That couldn’t be, right?

“Okay then, my bad,” the girl said and turned to follow the other actresses.

Hoshisawa Kyoko, there was something about her she couldn’t put a finger on. Sometimes it felt like she had ill intentions. The depths of her eyes were always cold.

“Kyouko-chan, please this way.”

Sunawa-san! He was her private make-up artist for this movie. She had said she could do her own make-up but about the entire staff had protested and Sunawa-san had more or less kidnapped her in order to do her make-up the first time. After that she had let him have his way. She was still very uncertain if the lead roles of movies really had their own make-up artists. She wasn’t sure if anyone from _Dark Moon_ or _Box ‘R’_ had their own. She had to remember asking Tsuruga-san about it.

The thought of her senpai chilled her to the bone and she shivered visibly.

“Kyouko-chan?”

“Nothing. Sorry.”

She hadn’t dared to tell him about her mother or that once the movie was done she would go back to Kyoto. Even though she had tried to not imagine what Tsuruga-san would say once he found out she could still hear his voice.

“I’m very disappointed in you. I’m speechless; to think you never asked your mother for permission to enter the agency. I never want to see you again.”

Couldn’t he look past that?! She had even told him why she had entered showbiz! Even if it had been, still was, to get revenge on the world’s bastard no. 1 she was still serious about acting. Right now she even felt like she needed it, so that she wouldn’t have to deal with her own feelings all the time.

Thinking of the world’s bastard no. 1 made her sick to her stomach.

“Kyouko-chan, are you unwell? Was it the ride here?” Sunawa-san leaned in close to her face, too close and she backed away.

“No, sorry. I just thought of… some guy who makes me sick.”

“You shouldn’t think of such people. Actually, you shouldn’t even mingle with such people.”

Mingle?! With him?! Who the hell mingled with bastards like Shotaro?

On second thought, there were probably people out there who would kill to mingle with that jerk. Kyoko pitied every last one of them.

“Mikado-kun, give me back Mogami-chan!”

The director Sou Akira moved towards them with a speed that was as surprising now as it had been the first time Kyoko had seen it. How a man, carrying the amount of kilos director Sou had, could move so fast was a mystery. “Before you do Aiko’s make-up I need to go through Aiko’s role with her.”

“Ah, thank you director.” She turned to the make-up artist, catching the killer-glare he sent the director the millisecond before he noticed she had turned his way. Though surprised she decided she wanted to ignore it. “I will be right back, Sunawa-san.”

The man leaned closer. “How many times do I have to tell you it’s Mikado.”

“I can’t do that! It wouldn’t be right of me to call someone like you by first name.”

“Don’t mind him, Mogami-chan,” director Sou said and pulled her away with an arm around her shoulder. “We start filming tonight already when the family arrives to Aiko’s grandparents.  I hope it won’t be too hard on you since the next few days are going to be very intense.”

He led her in a circle around the house, always in sight of other staff members or actors. She noticed their movements out of the corner of her eyes as she tried to look around and listen to the director’s instructions at the same time. She tried to peel his hand off her shoulder he kept it firmly in place.

“This far you’ve managed great to portray Aiko’s growing pain and awareness of her mother’s hatred. Now, her grandparents really love Aiko and spoil her to the best of their ability every time she comes to visit. Seeing how her parents spoil her daughter Touko will start boiling over. You know we’re filming a key scene here, right? Here will be the first time Touko actually hits her daughter and wish her gone from this world. You understand?”

“It’s a little complicated, but I think I do.” Her own mother already had hit her but at least hadn’t said something like that. Her mother only wanted her gone from showbiz. “But, director, shouldn’t you take this up with all the involved actors and staff at the same time?”

Really, director Sou. Sometimes she found him giving instructions like this. It was like he expected the actor/actress he instructed would tell all the others what to do. In that aspect she actually wished he could be like director Ogata who thoroughly and carefully went through this stuff with everyone. She felt like director Sou was neglecting his duties as a director. That of course she would never say to his face. He had a terrible temper.

Right now though his smile stiffened and her rage weapon jumped out when it picked up the anger the man suddenly emitted.

“You’re right, Mogami-san. I should do that immediately.” And with those words he turned and left with as long strides as his built allowed, leaving her staring after him in puzzlement. He always called her –san when he got mad at her.

It was really unnerving. Both director Sou and Sunawa-san was close to anger and it seemed like she was a pro of setting them off. It wasn’t a secret those two hated each other for one reason or another, but Hoshisawa-san had been working with them before and told her their tensions became worse whenever she was around. It made her feel really down.

 

* * *

 

Make-up ready, costume ready, equipment ready, weather perfect, light perfect. Kyoko as Aiko took her place in the car beside her mother. It was because of Shiva-san who was playing the role as Aiko’s mother Touko she had gotten the role, because they looked strangely much alike. They actually looked so much like mother and daughter people had been suspicious until they themselves started to wonder. Shiva-san though had forcefully claimed she had only given birth to three children and knew where she had all of them. Since Shiva-san was from Tomakomai in Hokkaido and she from Kyoto it had at last been settled that they weren’t even related.

Kyoko’s character Aiko had top grades in school, a great sense of fashion, was popular in school and believed to be Japan’s next big star as either a model or something else in the genre.

Shiva-san’s character Touko had divorced about a year ago and was building up hatred towards her former husband, which she took out on her own daughter as the pressure grew too high.

“Ready to roll!”

“Scene 82 take 1. Action.”

 

_Silence. It feels like it has become a wall between us. Peering at mother I can only see a face carved of stone; expressionless and cold. Opening my mouth I intend to break the silence, but instead it fills my mouth and threatens to choke me so I close it again._

_The mansion comes into view. Most windows are dark, but the front is brightly lit up for us. Jii-sama and Obaa-sama are waiting for us. The butler even stands waiting outside the door. I lean forward, smiling, happy to see him again. As a child that man was my best friend. He probably still is._

_Mother stops the car and get out._

_“Good thing you’re here, old man. Help Aiko with the luggage while I go greet my parents.”_

_“…Of course, ma’am.”_

_The stunned replay is ignored and mother enters the house as the butler holds up the door for her._

_I step out of the car as well, opening the door to the back seat to pick out mothers bags that are there. If mother’s bags came in first maybe she will at least look at me._

_“Aiko-chan. Are you really fine with things as they are?”_

_“No,” I answer truthfully. “But it will be better, right?” I look up at him with desperate hope. “Mother will calm down soon, I’m sure. She probably still feels the tensions from the divorcement. She really can’t help it, right?”_

_The butler looks at me before sighing. “It’s cold, Aiko-chan. Go inside while I take in the baggage.”_

_“But mother told me to do it. You are just supposed to help me.”_

_“This is what I’m getting paid for. Go inside.”_

_Caught off guard, but I smile a little and take the bags I am already holding inside._

 

“Cut, good one. One more time.”

She turned in the door and carried the bags back into the car.

“You scared me, Kyouko-san,” the man playing the butler said.

“What? How?”

“Your expression. It sent chills down my spine. If you continue like that this movie will reach an even bigger public than the director believed.”

“You think so?” She didn’t really know how much of an impact she would have on the audience. This far, with Mio and Natsu, she was rather disliked and didn’t feel like she was adding any viewers. Momose-san and Tsuruga-san were the ones people loved and watched _Dark Moon_ for. Why people were even watching a boring drama like _Box ‘R’_ she didn’t know. She just enjoyed acting.

Shiva-san drove the car back to the place they had started at.

“Prepared for another take?” she asked with a small smile.

She smiled back. Shiva-san was a good person. Short-tempered and with high expectations on achievements, her own and others’, but a good person.

“Anytime.”

The second of a smile before the older actress entered her role completely.

 

* * *

 

Today a meteorite will hit the world. It is spinning around with hyper speed without any special course until it suddenly finds a direction and heads straight for the world of Tsuruga Ren. Nobody knows about this of course. And Kamio Kimiko had no idea that she was leading a meteorite to earth when she walked up to Japan’s top actor.

“Tsuruga-kun.”

“Ah, Kamio-san. How...”

“I just heard the news. Poor boy, you must be shocked.”

He blinked at her. “I beg your pardon?”

“That little thing that has been hanging around you like a puppy. I really hope she never managed to trap you in her web, that little slimy spider.”

The meteorite has entered the ozone layer. Tsuruga Ren’s brain was too busy trying to figure out what Kamio-san was taking about to take notice. Was there a spider around? He had to stop himself from looking around for it.

“I’m sorry, Kamio-san, but I don’t think I understand.”

“Haven’t you heard?”

“About what?”

By now the meteorite is hovering over Tokyo. It’s actually quite amazing there is no warning or alarm about it.

“That girl who plays Mio in _Dark Moon_. Your kohai I have been told. I just heard from a friend how her mother came and scolded her rightfully for entering L.M.E without her permission. I understand how you and everybody else were fooled. That innocent face even fooled me there. You definitely can’t judge from looks alone.”

By now Tsuruga Ren was starting to feel the presence of the coming danger, namely a meteorite.

“Are you talking about Mogami-san? Her mother was here? What happened?”

“Happened? That’s what I would like to know. Both Sawara-san and the president are married and have children. But both of them probably fell head over heels for her charms. I can’t believe how they could fall so low. And I had so much respect for the president. That Mogami!”

3- 2- 1-

“Who could ever believe she was whoring?!”

 

* * *

 

In a mansion outside Abiko, Mogami Kyoko surprised Shiva-san out of her character when she suddenly threw herself on the woman, wrapping her arms around her neck and knocking them both off balance and landing in an awkward heap on the floor.”

“Mogami-chan! That’s not in the script.”

Kyoko herself was most surprised of all. Suddenly it had felt like the world was about to collapse and her body had reacted without her, and now the feeling was gone, leaving her blushing from embarrassment and apologizing to Shiva-san and everybody else.

 

* * *

 

Tsuruga Ren is a calm and logical person, tender but firm and he sometimes prove he has a poisonous tongue. Today a meteorite hit him right in the head, killing millions of his brain cells. And his manager’s too, but at least Yashiro answered instead of standing there staring like a fool.

“Kyoko-chan?” he sputtered before he broke down laughing until he rolled around on the floor. Ren was thinking about joining him, but it wouldn’t look good. They were standing in a hall after all. Besides, enough brain cells had died in order to make Ren forget how to speak.

“But it’s true. How else could someone like her rise so quickly? There is no other logical explanation!”

“But please.” Good thing Yashiro at least got up from the floor to speak. “Kyoko-chan and the word ‘whore’ don’t exist on the same planet.”

“I heard it was her mother who accused her.”

The connection between Tsuruga Ren and his brain broke down and it is uncertain if it will ever start working again.

“I know for a fact that a mother knows her children way better than they wish. My mother certainly did. I couldn’t even have a crush without her knowing. Tsuruga-kun, you’d never fall for her charms, I’m sure. You are too good for that kind of person. I’d suggest you never speak to her again unless it’s absolutely necessary, like when you act against her. But If I were you I’d tell the directors to never ask her, or refuse everything where she is involved. Really, we don’t need people like her in showbiz; there are enough of them already.”

 Had Ren been able to hear thoughts Yashiro would have been a very dead man right now.

“Come to think of it; the director of that new movie, _Always a child_ , I believe I saw it in a magazine. That girl has the lead role. I’m sure I read that Sou Akira is directing it. Now I know how she got the lead role. That guy is quite slimy and will give a role to any girl ready to give him a good fuck.”

Connection to brain repaired and working with risk of being overcharged. Yashiro had never seen his charge move so fast without running. Not that he had ever really seen Tsuruga Ren run before. Break a traffic rule or two, yes, but never run.

“Ren, wait for me! Where are you going? We have a photo shot to attend!”

Ren was gone in minutes, but his manager kept running through the corridors and turned into the ones where people seemed to be more surprised than in the other direction. To his great surprise Ren was heading towards his locker room of the photo shot. Stepping into the room he saw Ren putting his cell to his ear with his back to him. He saw the face in the mirror and quietly left to stand outside and stop anybody from entering.

This was bad. Tsuruga Ren was seriously intending to kill.

 

* * *

 

He waited. He’d wait until she picked up even if it took all day. At the same time he tried to rebuild the contact to the logically thinking part of his brain and count the survivors in there. He couldn’t be all fired up when she answered or she might never dare to answer her phone again.

“Yes! Hello, sorry to keep you waiting.”

Nothing was wrong. That was her normal tone of voice. She was in a good mood. There was a chair in front of him and he sat down.

“Hello? Sawara-san?”

“Mogami-san. Excuse me…” he needed a very good excuse for his silence. “The connection seems to be bad.”

“Ah, Tsu… ruga… -san. Good… Good afternoon. Why would a great man like Tsuruga Ren call somebody like me? I am truly honoured.”

Now she sounded like the end of the world was around the corner. This was the way she spoke when she thought he was angry with her.

“Mogami-san. Where are you right now? You are filming for _Always a child_ , right?”

“Eh? Oh, that’s right. I never told you, Tsuruga-san. I’m on location outside of Abiko. I will be here for another two days. Then… everything will… be back to… normal.”

Something was odd after all. Had the director tried to make a move on her? Why did her voice go into graveyard mood?

He made sure his feelings weren’t leaking into his voice.

“Um, about the project…” a nice way to put it. He had never been good at wrapping up his words, but he didn’t want to worry Mogami-san more than she apparently already was. “Is everything going smoothly? Is the director hard on you? The other actors aren’t treating you badly, are they?”

“Oh, no. Not at all, Tsuruga-san. Everybody here is good people. The director is a bit strange at times, but he is a good man.”

 _“A bit strange at times”_? What did that mean? Had he really tried something?

“Weird how? The director is Sou Akira, isn’t it?” He had no idea who that was. Must be rather new on the job, or he had just never been asked to act in his projects. He would have to check him up later.

“Um, yes. Sou-san seems to expect the actors to know what is in his head. And he only tells one or two about what he wants. I wonder, he is rather short-tempered and… I’m sorry, Tsuruga-san.”

Her shrill voice told him she was grovelling. Who had done something? “About what? Did something happen?”

“I don’t know. I must have done something. Both Aiko’s make-up artist and the director seem very close to losing temper when I’m around.”

Another few brain cells sacrificed their lives for him to figure out what she was talking about. The director and make-up artist? Aiko was the name of the character her already knew.

“Are they? Are you close friends with the make-up artist?”

“Um, no. Sunawa-san is just very possessive about Aiko’s face and… Um… Tsuruga-san…”

“Is there a problem?”

“No! Eh… Uh, well, Tsuruga-san. Do the lead roles of movies… always have private make-up artists?”

He blinked and stared at the display as if it was Mogami-san’s face before putting it back to his ear. “No, of course not. There are many faces to make, not just one. Most of the time they have to share the work since they may be working far into the night or start really early in the morning.”

She was silent for a while, thinking hard he supposed. He had to force himself to wait patiently instead of demanding a full and complete report of everything that had happened since she started on the project.

“Then… But…” Her voice sounded very unsure. “Everybody refused to let me do the make-up myself.”

That he couldn’t understand. For actors to be refused doing their own make-up he had actually never even heard of. It was disapproved of, yes, but never refused. It sounded unreal to him, unless…

“Everybody refused? Did you really ask everybody?”

“Huh? Eh, no. Sunawa-san said I was… spitting on his and every other make-up artist’s pride by making the statement.”

Now that sounded a lot like Mogami-san. She was good at coming to such conclusions just by asking one person. That artist’s language had probably been rawer too.

“Ah, I must go back now… um. Tsuruga-san, can I… Is it possible for me to… call you later?”

From beneath the worry, anxiousness and underlying anger, warmth spread throughout his body and he couldn’t stop his face from smiling.

“Of course. I’ll be off work around 11 o’clock tonight. You can call me then if you wish.”

“Thank you.” To his surprise there was no relief in her voice. It sounded more like she was walking to her death. “Bye then.”

Bye? Wait! He had almost forgotten why he had called.

“Oh, and Mogami-san.”

“What?”

“Be careful around the director. I heard he is a pervert.”

Without waiting for her replay he hung up, checking his face in the mirror. It was glaring and blushing at the same time.

“Baka,” he told it, seeing the lips calling him likewise. He had even forgotten to ask why she sounded so jumpy.

 

* * *

 

This wasn’t a place for people like her. Even if she had lived in a dark pit of never fading fear, self-contempt and hatred, the world around her had always been bright. This was a place for people who were literally living in the dark. The sun wouldn’t shine on this place even on a clear day.

She looked at the paper in her hand again in the weak light of a streetlamp, reading the address. Though she would have preferred to call it seemed the one she sought couldn’t be found that way. Figures. This kind of people was hiding from both light and people. The police mostly.

A cellar door was open on the correct address. Looking down into the darkness she hesitated, then took the stairs down and was inside.

There was no light in there and it smelled of damp and mould. It was even some degrees colder than the night outside. The silence was complete too. It was like a lid over her ears.

“Hello?”

The echo was followed by squeaks and scraping of what she strongly suspected were rats. She didn’t want to be here. She wanted the safety of her hotel room and a pair of strong, reassuring arms.

The thorn in her heart throbbed. There hadn’t been any arms waiting for her in a long time. Why was she still thinking like that? And all because of...

“Hello?” she called again, stronger this time, answered by echoes. “Anybody there?”

It was like the dark was taunting her for trying. Frowning in rising anger she turned on her heels and gasped.

“Mogami Saena?”

She looked up into a pair of glowing green eyes, like emeralds. “That’s me,” she answered as her back straightened. How did this person know?

The person walked past her and she noticed the silence. It was like this person was a ghost. Looking at the door she suddenly realized it was closed, and then a faint light flickered behind her, hesitatingly shining on this place that hid from the sun. There really wasn’t much in here.

“You have a request of me.”

It was a woman. The tallest woman she had ever seen. And the scariest. Her arms were bare and the faint light revealed scars on every visible patch of skin. There was one at the back of the shoulder that looked like a shot wound. Those green eyes were the only thing she noticed in the face. She ignored the shivers that went down her spine.

“That’s right,” she said.

“Tell me.”

The woman made herself comfortable in the room’s only chair, resting her elbows on her knees and let the hands hang limply between them. Those eyes were drilling through her body.

“There is this person… Can you take care of her?”

For a long time they stared at each other without blinking, the faint buzzing of the lamp being all that disturbed the silence.

“Are you certain?”

“Of course I am. I would never have come to this place if I wasn’t.”

The woman stood slowly and walked up to her. Saena backed away until she was met by the door and she had nowhere to run. The woman leaned in so that their faces were only inches apart. Saena’s breath hitched as those strange eyes saw right through her.

“Are you certain?”

Those eyes scared her. It seemed like they could see all she tried to hide from the world as well as herself.

“Mother, dad will come back soon. I’m sure he will come back. We are a family, right? Like Fuwa.”

Those words came from a three-year old. One that didn’t know anything. A child caught in between without any hope of ever getting out.

Her heart trembled. She couldn’t hold the gaze.

“I will not take uncertain jobs,” the woman stated without accusation in her voice before she straightened and turned her back to. “Come find me again when you are certain.”

And then she suddenly found herself outside on the street. Tears started ruining her make-up, and she helped by trying to dry them away.

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” she whispered. “Oh Naum. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”


	6. Taken for granted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've probably noticed at I sometimes write Kirill and sometimes Kilill. That's not an error. As most of you probably knows L and R is the same sound for a Japanese person, since the only difference is the vibration of the tongue at R (although when Swedish children can't say R they say J instead. It's a mystery) Back to the point, Russians (and correct me if I'm wrong) do firmly pronounce the R which the Japanese for the most part will make it the softer L and thus "Kilill".  
> Kirill is a Russian form of the English name "Cyril", meaning "lord".

Invited to the hotel where _The Dead Saints_ were staying, Sho was brainstorming lyrics to one of two songs he was writing with _The dead Saints_ ’ only male member. He had told the Russian about the stealing incident and they had agreed they shouldn’t have anything legible on paper. However, Kilill-san had said that nobody but the ones involved would be able to read the scores. He had yet to realize what he meant by that.

Glancing up he saw Lec-chan and Soya (Malin-kun could say whatever, the brat was still Soya to him) drawing on the floor and the tall Russian stare at the TV. It was _Dark Moon_ and Kyoko’s character Mio was being bullied by a woman with dark, curly hair. Sho vaguely remembered her as one of Kyoko’s friends. He had stubbornly refused to watch the series, telling himself he just wasn’t interested. Kilill-san though seemed so interested it almost pissed him off.

“Hey, Kirill.” Malin-kun came into the room, checked Kilill-san’s face and then made a comment that had Sho forget all about the new songs. “That girl is familiar? Have you slept with her before?”

“NO!" Sho cried out. "That girl is still a virgin! Stop looking at…!” Those strange purple eyes had him realize what he was saying.

“Oh, sorry, didn’t know she was your sister.”

 _Sister_!? It hit him like a stone in the head. Kyoko, his sister? What a… what? _What_ did that thought make him feel?

“I have seen her.”

Sho frowned at the Russian man. Lec-chan looked up.

“Isn’t she the girl who helped us out the other day?”

“Yes, I know.”

They all stared at the man. His eyes were so serous. Even if Sho hadn’t known him for very long, that kind of look he knew wasn’t ordinary. It was obvious from Lec-chan’s face too.

“But that’s not it?” she asked.

The man shook his head slowly. “Not it.”

There was something strange with his eyes. It looked like they were glowing. Looking at the screen he saw Kyoko get up on her feet and send the most hateful glare he had ever seen on her face. It was a look that promised death.

 

* * *

 

“How much experience do you have, Kyoko-chan?”

“N-none. I’m sorry. I have never done this kind of thing before.”

“There is a first time for everything. You just follow my lead. I have done this hundreds of times before.”

Kyoko watched carefully as Shiva-san sat down, took a deep breath and summoned a memory and feeling from deep within her. The sound that rose from her throat was laugher that sounded like crying. It was the saddest sound she had ever heard. A tear actually fell before Shiva-san wiped it away as she stopped the sound she was making. Taking a deep breath the woman got back to her real, calm self. When she blinked and looked up again Kyoko could still see a painful emotion under the surface, but it was being choked by Shiva-san’s stronger determination.

“You understand?”

She shook her head. “No, not really. I do not know what kind of feeling I can possibly summon to make such a sad sound.”

They were preparing for a scene on the meadows later that evening where Aiko met with a childhood friend. Since the scene was put after the night when Aiko’s mother had hit her and said: _“Why can’t you disappear? Why must you be here and remind me my husband don’t love me anymore. I wish I never gave birth to you!”_ Aiko would be really hurt and upset and trying to hide it by laughing.

“That is the trick,” Shiva-san said and stood. It seemed like she had a tighter hold of her feelings if she stood. “You have to summon a feeling that makes you cry but laugh about it instead.”

“How do I do that?”

The older woman crossed her arms and frowned as she closed her eyes, concentrating. “It is very hard to explain. Everything is tied to your memories. If you bring up your saddest or most painful memory and… laugh about it. Or you have a memory of lost happiness, maybe of somebody who is not around anymore.”

Kyoko stared at her, trying to follow what she said. Her lost happiness? Had somebody died she had shared happy moments with? Actually, the happiest moment of her live had been shared by a lot of people, but that happiness she still treasured. She had some beautiful and happy memories of the time she had shared with Corn, but none of those could make her cry. On the other hand she did have a lot of memories of lost happiness. That damn Shotaro!

“No, no, Kyoko-chan. What kind of memory did you pick out to make a face like that? You look like you want to kill somebody.”

“Eh. Oh, sorry.”

“Did you even understand what I tried to say?”

“I think so. Please let me try again?”

Shiva-san nodded.

This was harder than she ever thought. Her lost happiness only made her angry. Did she even have any memories sad enough to make her want to cry?

Well… there was the stalking incident. The end of that cursed run-around trip to Karuizawa. The beagle had said some very unnerving stuff about Corn. And the same screwed up beagle had dared to demand chocolates from her to Vain Day!

“Kyoko-chan… M-maybe we should try again later. I can try to find a way to explain myself better.”

“Yes, thank you.”

The assisting director came for Shiva-san. It was time for an argument scene between her and the man playing her father, Aiko’s grandfather.

Kyoko was left to her lonesome musings of Summoning-A-Memory-That-Makes-You-Cry. She sighed. It seemed impossible. This was worse than the time they had called and told her that her mother was waiting for her.

She had been so happy…

Her mother… Maybe… that was the answer? The happiness she had felt upon hearing her mother was looking for her that turned into despair when the woman had told her to leave showbiz. She had disliked playing out Aiko as a child hated by her mother. But maybe, just maybe, she could use her own suffocating feelings towards her mother.

 

* * *

 

Ever since they had talked after she had failed her aptitude test, or since he told her about the test, or when she met Tsuruga-kun for the first time in real life, or all the way back to when he first lay his eyes on her, Sawara Takenori had tried to figure Mogami Kyoko out. He had been her supervisor for more than a year now and yet, every time he thought he had grabbed her she changed again. Today though the president had called him to his office and now Mogami Kyoko had become a little clearer to him in a terrible way.

“Mogami-san is… really…”

“I admit to my anxiousness,” the president said with a low voice. “But I can not solve this problem on my own. I have too much work going on.”

“I can’t believe it. Mogami-san… is hated by her mother. Even if she is strange at times, most of the time she is a good and polite child. I can’t find a reason for a mother not to be proud.”

“Even parents can hate their own children.”

The words Mogami-kun had spoken while acting out the Older-Sister-Holding-A-Grudge-Against-Her-Little-Sister repeated themselves in the president’s mind for the hundredth time. Ever since the girl had told him her mother had never cared about where she were or what she was doing those words had occasionally come back to haunt him. Now they repeated themselves in his mind at least ten times a day.

“Maybe this is why…”

“Sawara-kun?”

“Well, president. After Mogami-san failed the aptitude test I had a chat with her. I told you about it. The face she made when she asked how she could ever love her fans was one that had once wished to be loved more than anything else, but had completely given up hope.”

The president stared at his subordinate with slowly widening eyes as the pieces fell into place. Rumours never passed unnoticed. Somehow, one way or another, they always reached his ears. He knew about Fuwa Sho coming to visit Mogami-kun twice, and the stalking incident in Karuizawa. She had said it on the test; that she wanted to be as famous as Fuwa Sho. Ogata-kun had told him the two of them were childhood friends.

Being hated by her mother. Her disability to love. Fuwa Sho. Her wish to be loved that she had given up on. Everything fitted together.

“Mogami-kun…” He almost couldn’t think it. He had read about it in books, seen it in some movies and TV series, but had never thought it was actually possible. But Mogami-kun, with the life she had led and the people she had surrounded herself with, was possibly… no, almost certainly…

Under his watching eye he had seen her loosen up a little and starting to dare her feelings. But with her mother around everything he had tried and everything Mogami-kun had achieved would be ruined. Everything would be for nought.

This was worse than bad.

“Sawara-kun this is serious. You must help me out.”

“Eh? President?”

“That child, her career aside, can not stay around her mother.”

“Eh?”

“Though I wish I could do something about Mogami Saena I can’t, but Mogami-kun I can affect. There is no way I can let her return to Kyoto like this.”

“Eh?!”

“But I cannot do it alone. So you must do it for me.”

“EH?!?”

 

* * *

 

Outside Abiko north of Tokyo Shiva Io waited for Kyoko-chan to come and act out the hardest scene in this place. It was a scene where Hoshisawa-san, acting as a schoolmate and friend under the name of Kyouko, would find Aiko picking flowers on the meadow. Since it was summer break they would start talking about what they had done and Hoshisawa-san would ask how she felt about the divorcement. Since Aiko had sought out to the meadows to hide away from her mother who the night before had hit her and said she wished Aiko was gone it is a more sensitive subject than it had been before and Kyoko-chan would say that she would manage. Then Hoshisawa-san would pull a cruel joke and they would laugh. Aiko would laugh along only to hide the fact she was hurting terribly.

That’s why she cornered Kyoko-chan about it before, to help her out. Since she knew why the director had chosen her and not Hoshisawa-san to play the lead role.

“Director, Kyouko-chan is ready.”

She looked up to see the young talent bow to the director, get instructed and then move towards the place from where Aiko would move to the marked place and sit down to pick flowers. But upon looking closely on that young face she stood. Kyoko-chan’s eyebrows were furrowed, like she was in pain. Had she entered Aiko’s character already?

“Scene 103, take 1. Action.”

 

_Where am I? Oh, right. I didn’t… want Jii-sama to find out so… I went out. They will eat dinner soon. Will they wait for me? I don’t know. Mother doesn’t want me around. I should… move in with father instead. That will… probably be for the best._

_My chest feels tight. Must think of something else._

_I see a lot of flowers around. It will be calming to pick some. Maybe mother was only in a horrible mood last nigh. Maybe she will forgive me if I give her flowers. She will, right? I’m sure she will. She’s my mother after all. There are no parents who seriously hate their children, are there?_

_I smile. Of course there are no parents who hate their children. Why would a woman go through the pain of giving birth if she was going to hate what came out of her?_

_“Aiko-chan?”_

_What? Where…_

_“Kyouko-chan.” What is she doing here?_

_“I can’t believe it. What are you doing here at this hour? Have you eaten anything yet?”_

_It is only 7 o’clock in the afternoon. Why is she asking me such questions? I must answer her._

_“Oops, I must have forgotten the time.”_

_Kyouko-chan laughs. She’s so carefree. Of course. Her parents are still like newlyweds though they’ve been married for twenty years already._

_“That’s so like you, Aiko-chan. When you concentrate you forget there is a world moving around you. But seriously, why are you here?”_

_“My grandparents live here. What about you?”_

_“Live here? Where? Since my aunt live in the Owl house I have been here every summer of my life and have never heard of any Kotoma around here.”_

_“Oh, but Kotoma is my father’s name. My mother’s name is Torisawa.”_

_“TORISAWA?!”_

_Wow. I never knew Kyouko-chan could manage such a high C. My ears are ringing._

_“You live in the mansion? Man, Aiko-chan, you have such prestigious roots? I had no idea. Lucky you. I can’t believe a girl like you is going to our school.”_

_“Don’t exaggerate! When my parents married they agreed upon a middleclass life because they wanted to have more time to spend with me.”_

_“Oh, really?”_

_Don’t ask me. I’m begging you, Kyouko-chan. Please don’t ask about that._

_“So… how are you feeling about the divorcement? I mean, your father wasn’t allowed the custody of you. If you ask for my opinion, he was a better parent.”_

_Say something, Aiko! Answer her! You must say something. Anything will do, just say something!_

_“Mother is still upset, but we’ll manage. We are a family after all.”_

_“Yea, right. And backed up with the Torisawa name you will never need a man.”_

_It is a joke for Kyouko-chan is laughing. I must laugh too. I must laugh. I must ignore the truth. I must act like mother loves me. Mother loves me. I have to laugh. Laugh. Laugh! LAUGH!_

 

Shiva shivered to the bone. She knew this scene. It was almost the same from when she had been divorced with her first husband and a friend had found out her birth name. The ability to laugh to cover up how hurt you were she had learnt from that time. But the sound Kyoko-chan made now was enough for her blood to freeze. What kind of memories was that girl carrying to make such a sound?

It wasn’t only Shiva. Hoshisawa-san had stopped laughing and gone pale, but Kyoko-chan just kept on laughing. Looking around Shiva saw the face of the director. He looked sick and couldn’t make sounds, making him unable to cut the scene. The sound of Kyoko-chan’s laugher had caused everybody to freeze and turn pale.

Tears were running down her face. Kyoko-chan was in so much pain and still she continued to laugh. It sounded like she was dying and laughing like mad to deny it.

When Kyoko-chan suddenly opened her eyes, Shiva’s breath caught in her throat. She seriously couldn’t take it anymore. Those eyes were too much. There was way too much pain in them. Kyoko-chan looked like she had gone mad from pain. It had to stop!

“STOP IT! STOP LAUGHING!”

That terrifying sound faded away and the madness in Kyoko-chan’s eyes slowly disappeared under awareness of her surroundings. Those eyes landed on the director who came back to life.

“Cut,” he said limply and waved a hand at the staff. “That’s it for now.”

The people started moving again but no one said anything. They had heard something unimaginable. Shiva went up to the lead actress.

“Shiva-san?”

The make-up was completely ruined and Kyoko-chan’s face was striped from the tears.

“Shiva-san, are you alright?”

She took another step towards the younger actress and closed her arms around her.

“Shiva-san! What?”

“Forgive me.” That was all she could say, but she couldn’t let go yet. She had to calm her own disturbed heart. “It just hurt me to hear you sound like that.”

The body in her arms relaxed against her.

 

* * *

 

In Tokyo, Fuwa Sho had started to wonder if Kilill-san was mentally stabile. In the middle of practising for the new song he had silenced and stiffened up like a statue. It had taken a whole minute before anything said came through to him and then he had went straight out of the room.

“Will he be alright, Cono-san?” he heard Shoko-san ask Malin-kun and he looked to the Egyptian woman.

“In a while,” she answered.

“Does that happen often?” he had to ask. If it was going to be like this when they practised how would they manage a live show? To his relief the woman shook her head.

“You know Kirill has ESP right?”

Yes, he was aware of that. He had even experienced it when he tried to lie to the man about his favourite food. That was an experience he’d rather soon forget.

“Kirill can pick up emotions of people,” Malin explained to Shoko-san. “Right now there must have been an entire group feeling something very bad to bring out that kind of response from Kirill. He has too much experience to be fazed by petty emotions like fear.”

He stared at her. Since when was fear a _petty_ emotion?

They waited for an hour but Kilill-san wouldn’t come back so they decided they might as well break up and continue tomorrow. It pissed him off. It had started off so good and he felt like he had a long life hit going on, but then that freak had to ruin his mood. For Kilill-san’s sake he better make up for this.

Opening the door to his lounge he almost stumbled to a stop. Why was Kilill-san in his room? With that little Soya kid cuddled in his arms.

“Kilill-san. What on…”

The eyes that locked with his were a kind of blue he had never seen, and they pulled him in. Those eyes seemed to grow as he stared into them.

Kyoko?

“Fuva.”

He jerked right out of the strange feeling he got by looking into Kilill-san’s eyes for too long. Had he really seen Kyoko’s reflection in them? “What is it?”

“Never take people for granted.”

He blinked. “Pardon?”

“People taken for granted disappear, and only then you know how much part of you life they have.”

Something really strange was going on. Kilill-san had lost his mind, Sho was sure.

“I perfectly am sane, Fuva. I talk from experience.”

He frowned in confusion. “But I do appreciate them. Shoko-san and Asami-san and everyone else. They’re doing a great job and without them I wouldn’t have come this far.”

“But they are not special to you. You have another special one.”

Trying to follow the Russian proved to be harder than it had seemed to begin with. In that second Sho’s thoughts came to a sudden stop as the image of Kyoko entered his mind uninvited. A ‘Special one’ Kilill-san phrased it. He opened his mouth to deny, but seeing the man’s face he closed it again. To the Russian’s face he already knew he couldn’t lie.

“Never take her for granted.”

“I’m not.”

“I see your face and know.”

He frowned and looked away.

“Listen, Fuva. If you take that girl for granted…” the Russian leaned forward and lowered his voice “she will be gone when you turn your back.”

“Right, sure. Kilill-san, you don’t even know her. That girl won’t disappear even if I want her to.”

The Russian never answered to that, but the look on his face would haunt Sho for a long time.


	7. Kiss me. Love me

The shooting had gone smoothly and they were now ready to go back to Tokyo. The scene where Kyoko had laughed in pain was the only one they had only one take of; because nobody wanted to be around if she was going to make that kind of sound again.

Kyoko sat with Shiva and shared her experience of this trip. Shiva never asked about what she had brought up to laugh and cry at the same time. Actually, nobody had even mentioned it so Kyoko thought that they had decided to scratch that scene.

“How did you start your career as an actress,” Shiva suddenly wanted to know.

“Eh? Uh, I think…”

She had challenged Matsunai Ruriko and lost against Tsuruga-san. She frowned and blushed at the same time.

“It was rather complicated. I got this Love-Me mission, got hurt, got angry, got a chance, lost the chance due to some circumstances and everything ended with me going to the hospital.”

Shiva watched Kyoko’s face. The girl seemed quite embarrassed about the memory, and she caught the total lack of details. She was so cute right at that moment, like a girl in love.

That reminded her. Next up were the school scenes where Aiko’s boyfriend would break up with her, among other things. Since Kyoko seemed to know her role way better than the director it was rather fun to watch when she acted out Aiko in a way that didn’t follow the director’s image.

Kyoko herself wasn’t very sure about what she was feeling. The Tsuruga-san back then had in her eyes been a detestable snake who took every chance to lower his poisonous fangs in her. Thinking back now she wasn’t very sure where things had changed between them. The temporary manager job had probably been a big step to solve the misunderstandings between them, but that wasn’t everything. She knew her view of him had changed during a few unspoken minutes; minutes he didn’t know he had shared with her. And if she had her way he would grow old and die unaware.

“How is your face?”

“Huh?”

Shiva fidgeted a little. “I know I hit you for real. I still feel it in my hand.” She looked at the younger actress. “Does it hurt?”

“Oh, not at all. I got something from Sunawa-san that worked really well, so there isn’t a problem.”

Shiva sighed revealed. She had already figured Kyoko was very patient and perseverate, but full of pride in her work. To hurt the face of an actress was the worst kind of crime. Still Kyoko seemed to take it strangely well.

“It was during acting. Shiva-san was acting out Touko-kaa-san and hated me for real. Of course I understand.”

Kyoko’s pride aside, her understanding for the work and acts of an experienced actor was spooky. It was like she had been an actor for her entire life.

“Shiva-san?”

“Hm?”

The look on Kyoko’s face brought Shiva’s thoughts right back to the moment. The younger actress suddenly seemed very sad.

“How long… until we finish filming?”

“Oh? I’m not sure, Kyoko-chan. These things take different long times. The schedule was set for three months, and we have been filming for about five weeks, so, perhaps about three months. Roughly.”

“Two months… huh?”

Shiva frowned. Right now Kyoko was acting stranger than ever. Since the cover-up laughing scene she had suspected this girl hid something very painful in her heart. Was that the reason for the sad face?

 

* * *

 

He sat back in his chair with crossed arms awaiting Kyoko-san’s arrival. His insides were a mix of worry, disbelief and annoyance. The president’s request of him played a large part of all three feelings, which had forced him to stay up the better part of last night to grab all possibly lose ends. He had a hard time believing the president’s theories too. It was just so hard to believe. On the other hand he knew Lory Takarada well enough to believe in his ability to figure people out. It didn’t make sense, but it was even stranger to think the president was wrong.

“Sawara-san?”

He lifted his head and met Kyoko-san’s concerned eyes.

“Sawara-san, are you not feeling well?”

“Oh, no. I’m fine. Don’t worry; the president has just given me an impossible request.”

“Oh, so that’s it? I’m glad. I thought I was going to be scolded again.”

His mind almost froze. Maybe the president’s theories hadn’t hit as far from home as he wanted to believe. But knowing this girl’s feelings towards herself actually hurt the part of him that really cared about her.

“So, why did you call me here?”

The question made him realize what she was… or rather, wasn’t wearing. “Kyoko-san, where’s your uniform?”

“Eh? Oh. I…” she hesitated and it seemed like the light she always seemed to emit dimmed down. “I wasn’t sure… if I was a Love-Me member still and… I didn’t really… want you to confirm it by asking why I was wearing it.”

He sighed. So even losing her place in the Love-Me section troubled her to this degree? Well, for anybody who had worked as hard as Kyoko-san to suddenly be told to leave must be more painful than he was able to imagine. And there was that fact too, Kyoko-san probably already knew about it; “Once out can never come back in”. The president had lifted this fact to him, and though he had always been aware of it, the image in his head of Kyoko-san leaving and a grating closing behind her back felt like an impossibly rough punishment for someone who wasn’t even leaving of her own free will.

“Sawara-san? Are you sure there is no trouble?”

“Huh? Oh, yes, there is no trouble. My mind is just occupied with the president’s request of me.”

“Oh. I understand, Sawara-san.”

“Well, that aside. First of all you are still a Love-Me member, so wear your uniform and come to work. You are in the risk zone of being thrown out for slacking off.”

“EH? I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. My damn fear… I really should have confirmed it first.”

He sighed again. Kyoko-san almost had too much pride. “Well, it’s not like I don’t understand your feelings and reasoning. This is only a warning, and I didn’t call you here to make you feel down.”

“Huh? What, Sawara-san? Has something happened?”

Was she really the one to ask that? It was only about ten days ago her mother had been here and since then her fame had hit the ceiling through the rumours. The president had said he was working day and night to make sure those rumours never reached the media. It couldn’t be an easy task regarding the amount of people who just couldn’t stay quiet even when threatened with death penalty. But as the president had said, this was no longer only about saving Kyoko-san’s reputation.

“The president is very unwilling to release you.”

She blinked and hope mixed with panic in her eyes.

“Since you are underage we all know there isn’t much he can do, and your mother has refused to say anything about your father, so we are left with little to no choices.”

“My… father?” Every other feeling was hidden under sudden surprise. “I… Sawara-san, I have never had a father. At least… none I can remember.”

“Yes, the president told me that too. However, you are a talent he more or less refuses to let go of. So, even if he doesn’t manage to persuade your mother to let you stay he’s not going to close you out of L.M.E. This means; when you turn twenty, you are welcome back.”

Her mouth was hanging open and her eyes told him her mind had gone blank. Then Kyoko-san’s face broke out in the happiest smile he had seen, even happier than when Tsuruga-kun found that Corn stone of hers. He wasn’t prepared of being jumped though.

“THANK YOU! Thank you thank you thank you! Sawara-san, I’m so happy!”

“Ah, Kyoko-san calm down.”

They were cut off by a clearing of a throat and looked up at Nakazawa, the head of the music department.

“Am I… disturbing something?”

In that instant he realized their position. Kyoko-san had thrown herself over his desk in order to hug him and now had her arms around his neck and he was holding himself steady with one hand on the armrests and the other had wrapped itself around the girl’s waist. He was lucky it was only Nakazawa-san. It would have been both awkward to explain and impossible to keep from spreading nationwide had it been somebody else.

“There is a good explanation,” he started as Kyoko-san backed away. Even when she was back on the floor she kept backing away towards the door. “I was just having good news for Kyoko-san and she got really happy.”

The man turned his head towards Kyoko-san who froze mid-step. She must be aware of the rumours if her panicked expression was anything to go by.

“Is that really all of it?” Nakazawa asked with narrowed eyes. “Are you sure you had no nasty thoughts there, Mogami?”

The girl shook her head wildly, but she seemed unable to form words so she only made some denying sounds.

Sawara frowned. “What’s up with you, Nakazawa-san? It’s not very like you to shoot down on people like that.”

“Well, I just figured out who her mother is, so if this girl really is a whore I wouldn’t be surprised. Like mother like daughter they say, right.”

“My mother is not like that!”

The men turned to the girl who seemed to just realize what she had said and regretted it, but then, true to herself, her eyes hardened.

“I may not be liked by my mother, and I may not have seen her in some years, but the mother I remember was waiting for my father. She would never have… she would never be…”

Sawara blinked. The colour was rising in the girl’s face and he had facts served him on a platter; Mogami Kyoko was a shy virgin.

“Anyway, my mother would never do that kind of thing.”

She was challenging them. She was seriously challenging them. He could hardly believe his eyes, or ears. This person was hated by her mother, was aware of it, and still she stood up for her in this kind of situation. He had to report this to the president.

“Eh? Wait, Nakazawa-san. Do you know Kyoko-san's mother?”

“Not personally, and I admit it took me some time to figure out the connection. It seems like Mogami is her real name, but she’s working under a pseudonym. If I hadn’t met her the other day during the meeting about this European supermodel I would never have guessed. Somebody called her Mogami so I asked her about it.”

He stared at his friend, not sure he was following. “Is there another Mogami working at L.M.E?”

“No, she was there as hired help.”

Sawara cast a look at Kyoko-san before looking back to his fellow worker. “In which department does Mogami-san work?”

“Oh, I’m sure you’ve heard the pseudonym. She’s the famous designer _Polnoch Sana_.”

First he dropped his jaw to the floor and then turned to Kyoko-san. This girl would never cease to surprise him. She herself seemed very uncertain though.

Polnoch Sana was famous for her stylish designing for office workers, male and female alike, as well as superstars. She had a hand in everything fashion and was probably the most important designer in Asia. She almost owned the cloth-designing industry. He remembered his wife and daughter staring dreamily in a fashion-magazine and wished they owned at least the scarf with Polnoch Sana’s signature. The signature alone was worth at least two million yen.

He made an effort and collected himself.

“Why don’t you go home, Kyoko-san. It’s quite late and you have school tomorrow, right?”

“Eh? Well, yes I have. But…”

“No buts. I’ll take care of this. Be careful on your way home.”

Kyoko-san hesitated before she bowed and left. He stared intensely at the door and picked up the phone when he was sure it closed.

“Sawara-san? What are you..?”

“The president is working hard to secure Kyoko-san’s future. This is very important news.”

It only hit him when Lory picked up that the man could already be aware of the fact.

 

* * *

 

After a night full of relief Mogami Kyoko went to school. What met her was something terrible enough to blow away every trace of happiness she had felt since Sawara had told her she could come back.

The moment she entered the building her homeroom teacher met her.

“Mogami-san? Why are you here?”

“Huh?”

“Oh, to return your books I see. Good, I was thinking of contacting you about it. Oh, and the principal wanted to talk to you about quitting school so suddenly.”

“Huh? What? Quitting…”

_“Drop everything and go back to Kyoko.”_

Her mother had been serious. She couldn’t even go to school anymore? Once she hadn’t gone to high school because Shotaro had asked her to come with him here, and now her mother was stopping her. She realized that even if she wasn’t closed out of the entertainment world she would still have to return to Kyoto.

“Mogami-san?”

She looked up to see the teacher was still standing in front of her and she realized he had zoned out for a moment.

“Ah, I’m sorry. Eh, the principal wants to talk to me?”

“Yes. He’s waiting for you.”

“Okay, I’ll go there then. Thank you.” Not that she had anything to thank him for, but old habits die hard.

Walking to the principal’s office she wondered if she could enter a high school in Kyoto. It would be rather hard to do by her lonesome, but maybe the principal could give her a hand, or at least an advice. She was wide open for all of them right now.

Stopping in her tracks she was hit by another thought. Okami-san and Boss! She would have to tell them too. She wondered if they would be angry with her. Boss would most likely be disappointed in her.

Sighing she started walking again.

“Ah, Mogami-san, good thing you’re here.”

“Good morning, principal.”

“It seems like you’ve been lying to about everybody in Tokyo.”

She froze mid-bow. So it would be like this? It’s not like she could talk back either, for she hadn’t been completely truthful about some things.

“Yes,” she confirmed quietly.

“Your mother called me last night and told me to throw you out of school.”

She couldn’t look at him. She felt sick again and rested her eyes on the desk in front of the principal. He leaned forward on his elbows.

“Mogami-san, would you mind to explain this to me?”

Yes, very much so. If she opened her mouth she really might vomit right there on the mat, and it looked too expensive for that kind of appreciation. For a long time none of them said a word. At last the principal sighed.

“Fine, as you wish. But if you told me I might be able to help you. Luckily for you your grades alone saved you from being expelled on the spot. I certainly can’t just throw out one of my top ten students, yet your mother is a very persistent person, and she has the law on her side, Mogami-san.”

She still wouldn’t look up at him. Upon hearing her mother was persistent she actually felt a little happier, but only a little. At least it was something she had in common with her mother.

“I’ve also been in touch with Lory Takarada-san. He’s not happy with me, but there is nothing I can do. So please fill out this formula, leave your books and uniform and go home.”

 It was with heavy heart she obeyed. Her only objection being; “But I have no change of clothes here.”

 

* * *

 

She had gotten the job early, in the planning progress actually, but the measures of the European model didn’t agree with the kind of person she believed she was designing for. It was like she was designing for a teenager. It was a law that adult female models couldn’t be shorter than 175 cm (180 for males), and even then you were hardly acceptable. The measures she had gotten must be completely wrong or the numbers were in the wrong order.

“Sensei, these measures simply can’t be correct,” she told the photographer, waving with the papers. “We are talking about a supermodel unequalled in this world. In order to make a good impression I’d like to be way better prepared and have a better idea of her style _before_ she arrives.”

“Ma’am, those are the measures sent to us by the model herself. They have to be correct.”

“Are you sure they aren’t false or forged then?”

“Why are you asking anyway? What’s wrong with the measures?”

“They stat Queen is 158 cm tall, no more and no less.”

The photographer stared at her and she could see the panic building up behind his eyes. The guest was very important and it would be the worst kind of scandal if they offended her. The designer was probably the only one on the project with confidence. Everybody else was running around in a frenzy doubting their talents. Well, she couldn’t blame them. Top models weren’t known for being sweet. She could just imagine the attitude of this one.

Looking in a Russian magazine though she could tell she really did have a face and body to brag about, and hair that could make stylists all over the world kill to have a touch on. What made her stand out from most models, and even the top and supermodels, were her expressions; real smiles and a true, sparkling aura of energy. But those eyes, blue like the ocean.

To her it seemed like the woman in the pictures were crying.

Frustrated she threw the magazine on a table and left. Now she saw tears even in a happy expression. Even if the measures were wrong she could start brainstorming on her own. She already had the colour base decided and they were added to the information as well. Winter base colour, like Kyoko.

 

* * *

 

Kotonami Kanae, aka Moko-san, has a pride as huge as earth itself. The only thing that could ever possibly make her let go of it in the slightest was a certain girl’s face. A face with a sad expression that hurt inside, and a smile that made her warm and happy. Still the owner of that face could make her so embarrassed she wanted to dig a hole for herself by openly showing a sort of affection that she both loved and hated. Most of the time she even envied that girl for being the only child. That must be heaven.

Today had been a nightmare. First: Hiou-kun was in a bad mood, which made it hard to act with him. Second: another actor was down in the flu and couldn’t come, which screwed the schedule up and they had to change it. Third: that idiot with no brain kept bullying and trying to hit on her, going as far as to corner her. He wouldn’t do that again.

Kotonami Kanae herself, once the filming ended, had all thorns turned outwards and wearing an expression not fit for a woman. And having to wear the cursed uniform right after wasn’t very refreshing. To top it all off, like the finishing touch, she was assisting a super nervous photographer with a panicking staff who was preparing to welcome a European supermodel tomorrow. The only calm person in that room had been a woman she recognized but couldn’t place.

“Do this, do that, fix this, don’t touch that. Mo, so annoying.”

She was carrying some rolls of white background paper, almost running from annoyance and therefore slipped in a turn. What happened next she would prefer if she could forget.

 

* * *

 

Kyoko was carrying lunchboxes to the music department, but on her way there she had to cross a by-today cursed hallway. Sometime earlier that day some rejected idiot had taken revenge by spraying car wax the floor, making it dangerously slippery. Kyoko had to rely on old habits, though it really hurt to use them, to make sure to not let the tower of lunchboxes waver.

But in the end of the hallway a pink uniform and a black whirl of hair suddenly appeared. It was all so sudden that Kyoko’s attempt to jump backwards resulted in her falling, throwing up all the lunches in the air. Moko-san didn’t know about the wax-revenge and therefore slipped too. In the middle of falling both of them realized the other would be injured if they didn’t protect their friend, not realizing what was going to happen to themselves and threw their arms around the other’s head, that way forcing their faces together.

The only good thing this incident brought was what didn’t happen: Kyoko’s head didn’t hit the floor and Kanae’s wasn’t hit by the falling lunchboxes. But both Love-Me members were so shocked by their own position seven full seconds passed before they moved. Or rather, the second Kanae’s thoughts returned to her she jumped away, which would have had her slipping again and falling on her butt hadn’t Kyoko’s arms still been stiff around her neck. Good thing; Kanae didn’t hurt her butt.

“MO! Let go of me!”

Now Kyoko’s thoughts returned to her and she released her grip. Her face was flushed from embarrassment so she broke eye contact and noticed the state of the floor, lunches and the rolls of paper Moko-san had been carrying. She also noticed feet and knew the accident had had witnesses. They wouldn’t be able to explain this. People listened to what they wanted to hear and believed in nothing else.

Looking back at Moko-san she noticed her friend also had realized the situation and they looked at each other. Sighing in union they both knew what the results would be.

None of them saw the woman who turned on her heels and left.

 

* * *

 

Rumours spread faster than leaves in the winds or the seeds of dandelions, but unlike those metamorphoses they change as they travel from mouth to mouth and by the time they reached president Lory Takarada the next day it was: “The Love-Me members are a couple”.

He stared at his secretary.

“Come again?”

“I’m telling you, president. Love-Me members Mogami Kyoko and Kotonami Kanae were seen caught in each other’s embrace kissing on the floor in a hallway.”

Lory Takarada was not homophobic or against it, but he had a perfectly working brain and it denied this rumour. Even if the fact was true; that his girls were seen kissing, it might as well have been an accident blown out of proportion.

“Is that the whole story?” he asked.

“Eh? I don’t know. I didn’t ask.”

“Did it ever dawn on you that they are members of the Love-Me section for a reason?” Lory never said, but anybody could read it in his expression.

The president sighed. More work. As if Mogami-kun’s situation wasn’t bad enough already. A stray thought was sent to Tsuruga Ren when he was to hear about this. Mogami Kyoko; the first Love-Me member and lesbian. Great. He could only hope the actor didn’t believe it.

 

* * *

 

She didn’t want to go to work today. Last night when she had delivered the surviving lunches had she not only been scolded and punished with ten minus points, they hadn’t even taken up her offer to make new lunches for those who would be left without by saying she had no respect for food and didn’t want to be poisoned by her terrible cooking. That was way too much to take for a person who had already reached the end of her limits. Mogami Kyoko had positively exploded and couldn’t even remember what she had said. It hadn’t been nice words she knew and she had a feeling Mio had had a hand in the game.

Sawara-san was going to scold her for hours.

“Kyoko-chan? Aren’t you going to school?”

She sighed. “I’m sorry Okami-san.” She lifted her head to try to smile. “I’m afraid I’ve been expelled.”

Okami-san dropped her broomstick and Boss stiffened. They stared at Kyoko and she felt like the longer it took for the explosion to come the bigger it grew. Her head lowered again.

“Kyoko-chan? Is that true?”

Even if Okami-san’s voice was gentle she shivered and nodded.

“Does this have something to do with bad behaviour?”

“What? No! Boss, I really loved going to high school, I promise I haven’t misbehaved. That’s not it. I just… it’s just…” She couldn’t say it. Not yet. She wasn’t mentally prepared yet. “Please. I can’t tell you right now. Can you please… wait until tonight? I promise I will tell you everything.”

It was quiet for a long moment. At last both Okami-san and Boss sighed and picked up their tools to keep working.

“Are you going to work then?” Okami-san asked.

“Yes.”

“Be careful today, and come back safe.”

Looking up she saw Okami-san smile a little at her and she smiled back, relieved. At least Okami-san didn’t hate her. Casting a glance at Boss she hesitated before bowing.

“I’m off then.”

She was almost out the door when Boss suddenly spoke up; “Kyoko.”

She turned to look at his profile. He still looked grumpy and didn’t look at her.

“Be careful today.”

It was the first time Boss had sent her off with any kind of greeting, and she felt a little fire of happiness in her chest.

“Thank you. I will.”

 

* * *

 

Waiting outside the Love-Me section lounge stood Mogami Saena with crossed arms and stiff posture, along with the president, today dressed as a military general. The happiness that lingered from Boss’s send-off words froze, shattered and flew away on the wind of knowledge.

“Yesterday,” the elder Mogami started. Her daughter felt ice coating her heart. “I was on my way home to find what? My daughter caught in a lip-lock with another woman on the floor! Had it been a man I would have been upset enough with you, but a woman?!”

“It isn’t like that. It was an accident and Moko-san is my best friend. We slipped because there was car wax on the floor.”

“So why were you holding each other.”

“Eh? That… but it…”

“Answer me!”

Kyoko flinched.

“Mogami-dono, you shouldn’t...”

“Stay out of this! You’re not my husband and not her father.”

That hurt something inside the man. His view of himself as the father of all artists in his agency suddenly cracked. Though he wanted to bite back he realized that would be way too childish, especially in front of this woman. He drew back to rethink his strategy. Mogami Saena turned back to her daughter.

“We are only friends,” her daughter said lowly. “She has somebody she likes and it’s not me. We embraced because… I was carrying lunchboxes and when Moko-san ran into me I slipped I threw them up. They were going to hit her head. I couldn’t let that happen, mother! Moko-san is an actress too and I can’t allow anything to hurt her body because of me. I had to protect her!”

Mogami Kyoko had to force herself to keep her gaze on her mother’s. This wasn’t only about her, this was about Moko-san’s pride and reputation as well. She would fight for that, even with her own mother.

“Is that really true?”

“Absolutely. Moko-san lacks the same emotion as I, we are unlucky sisters wearing the cursed Love-Me uniform!”

It wasn’t the first time Lory had heard that, but it felt different hearing it from a Love-Me member’s own mouth. Kyoko even snorted to get her point across.

“The pink uniform, you mean?”

“Mother, you know of it?”

“In showbiz, I know everything that has to do with designing cloths. I seriously can’t believe anybody would want to wear such a colour for clothing. It doesn’t suit someone like you either, your basic colour in mind. I heard you are taking jobs as well.”

“Yes. I do every offered job with a smile.” She smiled. Having a conversation with her mother, even if it felt awkward and she was nervous, felt good. This was her mother after all. Talking like this, getting to know each other, she knew she could convince her mother to let her stay.

“Sexual jobs too?”

Everything within her silenced. Her smile became something else. Saena raised her hand and brought it down, but this time another hand shot forward and grabbed her wrist.

“Mogami-kun is a working actress. I will not allow you to hurt her face.”

Growling the woman ripped her hand out of the president’s grip and elbowed her way past her daughter to get out of there.

“Drop everything and go back to Kyoto.”

Biting down everything else Mogami Kyoko spun around. “If I do it?!”

Her mother turned and stared at her with a furious frown, but Kyoko kept talking before the woman had time to kill her determination.

“If I do as you say. If I drop everything and go back to Kyoto.”

Too late Lory Takarada realized what was about to happen and he reached out an arm.

“Will you love me then!?”

Everything stilled. Everything silenced. Mogami Saena stared with widened eyes. In the back of her mind there was a little child. A child with his eyes who tried to smile and looked so much like him she couldn’t stand it.

_“We are a family, right? Like Fuwa.”_

She couldn’t stay here, but those eyes looking at her so desperately she couldn’t move. Memories were crossing each other in her mind. It was too much. Way too much.

_“Please be strong, Sana.”_

With all the willpower she possessed she collected all the pieces of her that was running wild around the place she scolded her expression.

“I will consider it.” And with that she fled, trying to not show how shaken she was. Behind she left a very quiet daughter.

The president’s heart was cold. Mogami-kun’s challenge and her mother’s expression. There was something more to this story he was unaware of. But to tell her own daughter she had to consider if she was going to love her or not if Mogami-kun tried hard enough to do everything that pleased her. It shook him down to the roots of his being and all his experiences. That woman couldn’t be crueler.

Kyoko stared after her mother with wide eyes that could be from shock or disbelief or pain or confusion or a mix of everything. For a long moment she just stood there, silent and unmoving.

“Mogami-kun?”

Reality made itself known to her and she turned to the president. She wasn’t fully recovered, but she had made up her mind. She bowed to the man who had created the Love-Me section, probably used her on some occasions, possibly been laughing at her behind her back, and had helped her in so many ways.

“Thank you for your offer, president, but I can’t accept it.”

“Huh?”

She straightened up and smiled a kind of smile that was bright on the outside and sent chills down Lory’s back. “Your offer to not shut me out of L.M.E. It was very kind of you, but mother just said she will love me if I go back home, so I will. Now, if you excuse me, I must go back to work. And there are so many people I have to say goodbye to as well. There are even more I want to thank. Have a good day, president.”

Chilled to the bone the president of L.M.E let her pass. He turned to exchange a look with his assistant and breathed out without releasing the tension he felt. “Jesus Christ.” He no longer knew if he would be able to save that girl.


	8. Rumours, Truth and Yuni Sky

She had prepared for tonight all day. Kyoko-chan was coming home and she would tell them all about what was going on. Even if she had gotten quite used to not know, she loved that silly child too much.

“Darling. Are you almost finished in the kitchen?” she called. She knew Kyoko-chan wouldn’t be filming _Dark Moon_ until tomorrow and therefore would be home early.

A soft grunt was the only replay from the kitchen, telling her he was as good as finished, only needing to make sure the kitchen was clean enough. Though her husband wasn’t the talkative kind of person she knew he cared a lot for Kyoko-chan. There was a slight pang in her heart at the thought that she hadn’t been able to bear his children.

“I’m back!”

Surprised at the happy voice she turned. “Ah, Kyoko-chan.”

Kyoko-chan was smiling and she blinked. This morning she had been so down. Something good must have happened. Her husband came out from the kitchen and Kyoko-chan suddenly bowed for the two of them.

“I’d like to thank you for taking care of me until now. I’m really grateful.”

The couple’s eyes widened. Kyoko-chan straightened up and smiled at them.

“I hope I haven’t caused you too much trouble.”

“Kyoko-chan. What are you talking about? Are you moving out?”

“Ah, yes. Sort of.” The girl fidgeted nervously. “My mother came by the other day and told me to go back to Kyoto.”

“Mother? Kyoto? Go back?” Though there wasn’t very much information being shared, she still had a hard time progressing it.

“Um, do you have time? I can tell you in the living room.”

They all moved into the living room and sat around the low table. Her husband was the first to speak.

“Start from the beginning.”

Kyoko-chan was silent for a moment, collecting her thoughts. “I ran away from home with a childhood friend two years ago.”

Hearing that her mouth fell open.

“I dropped out of school and started working to pay the rent while he went to become a superstar. Well, until last year when I overheard him badmouthing me in front of his manager, saying I was a plain, boring girl with no sex appeal.” She silenced and started fidgeting. “Hearing that I told him I would get revenge on him and decided to enter the entertainment world.”

Kyoko-chan looked up at her loyal listeners, seeing them both with wide eyes and open mouths.

“Ky… oko…-chan. I… you… ran away?” Of everything told that was the only thing she could grasp at the moment. “What about your parents? Your mother? You said she came to get you. Why didn’t you go home earlier?”

A shadow of pain crossed the girl’s face before she looked down on the table in front of the Daruma-Ya owners with a small, sad smile. “Mother left me with that guy’s parents and disappeared when I was seven years old. I hadn’t seen her since. I was really shocked when she suddenly appeared at L.M.E. I heard from Nakazawa-san, the head of the music department, that she is a famous designer under the name of Polnoch Sana.”

“But… if your mother is here, why are you going back to Kyoto?”

“Because mother said she’d love me if I did.”

 

* * *

 

She hadn’t recovered by the time she and her husband went to bed that night. Though she’d gotten a lot of old questions answered she still wasn’t satisfied.

The reason was Kyoko-chan’s smile.

She had never seen that kind of smile before. Kyoko-chan’s face had told them both she was trying to convince herself more than them that it was a true fact her mother would love her if she went back to Kyoto. But what did the girl have in Kyoto? Even if she had lived with that childhood friend’s parents it wasn’t sure that she could move in with them again.

Expelled from school, forced to quit working as an actress, thus giving up her dreams. Kyoko-chan was really desperate and she had no idea of what to do.

“Darling?”

For a long while there was no answer. She wouldn’t press him though; her husband would answer even less if you pressed him.

“It’s not like we can do anything,” he said at long last. She picked up some kind of hurtful emotion in him. “We are only her hosts.”

It was painful to realize it, but he was right. No matter what happened, Kyoko-chan was only renting a room. Even if they loved her they weren’t even her guardians. The only word that could involve them in Kyoko-chan’s heart was “friends”.

She crawled over and lay beside her husband. Tonight she needed his love.

 

* * *

 

The sound level was low on the _Dark Moon_ set today. The rumours had spread around their circles and most of them didn’t know what to believe. Those who knew Kyoko in person knew she would never do something like selling her body for fame, those who knew how much the girl had had to fight to keep the role as Mio were confused, and those who from the beginning believed she had gotten the job because she was from L.M.E. didn’t know what to believe anymore. They could think what they wanted about Mogami Kyoko, but not her acting. She was good, and Mio was scary. The four girls playing maids still hadn’t recovered from meeting Mio off stage in Karuizawa. Being such a good actress, did she really have to use her body to get jobs? To rely on contacts was one thing, but buying jobs like that?

There was that other rumour too, that Mogami Kyoko was lesbian. That didn’t make sense to anybody. If Kyoko really did prefer women, why was she hanging so much around Tsuruga Ren? And shouldn’t she have made a move on Momose Itsuki by now? Or were they already…

No, that was one thing certain; Momose Itsuki was completely straight and just as certain in love with Tsuruga Ren.

The questions were many and the answers few, and the one who really could for sure answer all the questions, they were afraid to ask, because she could shift into Mio-mode and curse them all.

Yashiro Yukihito turned to his taller charge. His annoyed taller charge. Or even more accurate; his annoyed-to-no-end-and-covering-it-up-with-a-blank-face taller charge. That face was even scarier than his dangerous smile.

 

* * *

 

The girl everyone was talking about was shooting for _Always a child_ at the rooftop of a school. This was a scene she had been dreading. Aiko’s boyfriend would break up because he had found somebody else, thus driving Aiko farther away from steady ground. It was like being forced to relive the moment of Sho’s betrayal, and the mere thought of him made her feel sick. The boy in front of her wasn’t Sho, and the situation wasn’t the same, but still.

“Mogami-chan, are you ready?”

A deep breath relaxed her and she entered the role of Aiko, nodding.

 

_I’m scared. Toya wouldn’t betray me now, would he? How long have we been together? A year? It must be more than that._

_No, stop Aiko. Toya won’t hurt me, won’t leave me. If he was tired of me he would have avoided me when the divorcement was all over me. I must have come crying to him once a day. The least._

_“Aiko-chan, I… have something… to confess.”_

_I feel sick. I must ignore it. Why did he call me up to the roof? This was where we got together…_

_“What?”_

_The anxiety is mixing with guilt in his eyes. I have to smile, act like I’m not dreading his next words. I must act like whatever he tells me is great._

_“Do you know… well, of course you do. Your friend isn’t she? Kyoko-chan.”_

_Kyoko-chan? “Has something happened to her?” Would he call me to the roof to tell me something like that?_

_“Huh? No. No, not at all. It’s just…”_

_Why is he moving like that? Why is his expression defeated?_

_“Aiko-chan, I’m… I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I love you but…”_

_What…_

_“But?” I hate the sound of my voice. It sounds so small. It sounds… no, please. Somebody help me. Save me! “You’re leaving me.” Somebody please kill me._

_He won’t meet my eyes. He really is. Toya is really leaving me! Why? Where did I do wrong? Is it because I didn’t do enough? Why?! Aren’t I enough for you?!_

_“Aiko-chan…”_

_“Don’t touch me.”_

_I hate you. How dare you? I need you now and you are leaving._

_“Kyoko-chan…”_

_“I’m sorry, Aiko-chan. I don’t know when it happened. It just did. Don’t be angry with her, it was…”_

_“Get out of here.”_

_Just go away. Leave me alone. Leave it all alone. Leave and never come back. Forget about everything. What worth is my love when you can’t even lie to me? What worth is my friendship if my friends can go behind my back? Was I ever valuable to you?_

_“Ai…”_

_“DON’T TOUCH ME!”_

_How dare he?! How dare he look like he’s hurt?! How dare he!?_

_“If this is all I am worth to you… if this is it… is this really all of it? Don’t say my name as if you know me.”_

_Love me? Ha! Damn player. I hope Kyoko-chan gives you a hard time._

_He’s leaving. Good. I don’t want to see him anymore. I never want to see him again. It’s good that he’s leaving._

_My knees hurt when they hit the floor. There are small stones on the floor cutting into my flesh. It will bruise. Who cares? Toya doesn’t love me. He probably never loved me. I don’t need him anymore._

_He does not… need me anymore._

_Why?_

 

“Cut.”

The surrounding staff women were drying their eyes.

“You poor thing,” one of them said with tears running freely down her face. “Kyouko-chan, you must have been really hurt in the past. Such vivid expressions. You are totally believable.”

“Isn’t it,” another jumped in. “It looked like a scene from my own past. Takahashi-kun is so skilled too.”

“Back to your positions. I want it done another time.”

Kyoko blinked. He wasn’t going to say anything? They had rehearsed this scene all morning, arguing about how Aiko would really react in this scene. For the female viewers it was the most important scene and director Sou wanted drama; tears and screaming that echoed throughout the area. Kyoko didn’t like that. Aiko was supposed to be the perfect student; she wouldn’t give in to emotion so easily.

“Why redo it? Isn’t it good as it is?”

“No, I want it done my way too. Mogami-san. This time, follow the script from dot to dot.”

He was mad at her. A hand landed on her shoulder.

“Don’t mind him, Kyouko-chan.”

“Takahashi-san.”

“I like the previous scene better than the one in the script. It’s more Aiko when you do it.” The one acting out the role of Toya smiled charmingly at her. “He’s just mad that your Aiko works better than his. Shiva-san would have loved to see this.”

“Positions, teenagers.”

Takahashi looked over Kyoko’s head and released her. He winked at her. “See what I mean.”

The woman who had complimented her first huffed. “He’ll probably choose his scene just because.”

They were glaring at the director.

“That’s it! Mogami and Takahashi; back to your positions and do it my way!”

There are ups and downs about leading a project, the ups being that the ones working for you can protest but not disobey.

 

* * *

 

Kyoko dressed in the Love-Me overall and went out to find Sawara-san. She had to ask him about the new rumour running around her. The actors and staff she didn’t know so well at _Always a child_ were avoiding her and the ones she knew were either keeping a distance or staying close, director Sou had been mad at her all day and Sunawa-san had hardly spoken to her. She knew something was on and was determined to find out what.

“Ah! You! Pink lady!”

She turned to see an office worker skidding to a stop in front of her.

“Hey, please, could you deliver these to the front desk? I must attend to a meeting in two minutes.” He handed her two folders and an envelope. “They are of highest importance! Queen, the European supermodel coming today, is very special and L.M.E will suffer greatly if we offend her in any way! The photographer needs these _before_ she arrives.”

“Ah, alright. Leave it to me. But I can deliver them directly.”

“No, please. To the front desk. They must go through the front desk. You must go straight to the front desk and give these to the personal there. You really must. Immediately. Don’t stop on your way there. Go straight…”

“Fine. I understand but, weren’t you in a hurry?”

He checked his watch, screamed like a girl and took off down the corridor like a whirlwind. Kyoko sighed. There was no helping it. She could go see Sawara-san once she delivered the files. But the looks she had to endure walking through the corridors were really starting to get to her and once she got to the front desk her demons were creating a dark cloud around her being.

“I was told to deliver these,” she said and dropped the folders and envelope on the desk. One of the women behind it took them stiffly.

“Excuse me. Do any of you speak English?”

Kyoko turned around. There stood a short woman, half a head shorter than her, with curly black hair and wide blue eyes with an uncertain expression on her pretty face. She dressed in heels, fitting dark jeans and had probably just opened her coat. Underneath she had a white shirt unbuttoned halfway down her chest to reveal smooth golden skin and a nice, pushed up hill.

“Can I help you?” Kyoko answered. Her English was better than most Japanese and the smile she was answered with competed with Tsuruga-san’s in honest brightness.

“My name is Yuni Sky. I’m here for a photo shot.”

Kyoko looked to the women behind the desk to see them staring at the woman with very white faces. One of them was holding the contents of the envelope, which looked a lot like a photo. On the backside, facing Kyoko and the model she supposed the short woman was, stood. _“This is Queen! Keep your eyes wide open for her!”_ with kanji.

Queen? Wasn’t that the name of the supermodel that office worker had been talking about?

“Ah. Yes. I’m sorry.” They were still speaking Japanese. “The shot is in room 103, the model section.”

Yuni looked to Kyoko with a face that tried to hide desperation.

“They just said it is in room 103 in the model section.”

“You know where that is?”

“Yes, of course.” As a Love-Me member she had studied the map of the building thoroughly.

The woman clapped her hands together and smiled her plea. “Will you please take me there?”

“Eh, atashi? Oh! I mean; sure. Of course.”

The woman holding the folders suddenly sprung up screaming. Everybody jumped and turned to her. She was sweating and trembling and clutching the folders with the risk of crumpling them.

“A…ah…ah…ah…” She was unable to form a coherent protest and gave up with tears in the corners of her eyes. She held the folders and envelope out for Kyoko. “Please take these with you.”

“Ah, okay.”

“Are you in trouble?” the model asked with seemingly honest concern.

“Oh no. These are to be delivered to the photographer shooting you.”

“Ah, I see.”

Kyoko led the way and the woman was bold enough to take her under the arm like they were lovers! It felt very uncomfortable to have her personal circle invaded like that.

“I’ve never been in Japan before and I’m super nervous. The only Japanese word I know is Konnichiwa.” The woman smiled up at her. She was like a book. Her words were unneeded because her face said the exact same thing, except for the only known Japanese word. Kyoko had no choice but to smile back.

“Ah. Well, you won’t come far with only that.”

“I know. The thing is that I have my hands full with the Russian.”

“Russia? I thought you were from Europe.”

“So you know about me?”

“Eh? I… don’t know… Ah!” The envelope! It had a picture of this woman and Kyoko picked it out.

“Kirill took that one,” the model said, her voice smiling brighter than her face.

“Sky-san, you can tell?”

Kirill? The man who asked for directions and then appeared in _Totally Wild Rock_ with Elekka-chan?

“With all due respect to every man and woman with a camera added to their bodies, Kirill takes good pictures even with a disposable camera. This one was probably taken with his own personal one. And another thing, I beg you to not call me Sky-san. It sounds like one of those foolish cartoon characters I watched as a child.”

“Eh! I’m sorry. Then, um...” It felt too wrong to call her by first name, and even embarrassing to call her -chan. “Sky-kun?”

 “Much better. Your name?”

“Huh? Oh, Kyoko, Mogami.”

“Ms. Mogami then.”

Kyoko nodded and looked at the picture in her hand. It was definitely the woman at her arm, but the one in the picture was relaxed and dressed in a black tank top with her hair somehow tied at the back of the head. One hand was raised to shield her eyes from the sun and though she wasn’t smiling her face was one of a person enjoying a free day. Kyoko didn’t know much about photo, but she had to admit that this one was quite good.

“Kirill is great. Well, everybody is great and I love them all. Elexa is so cute. Honestly, I really envy her voice. I wish I could sing. But she’s trying too hard sometimes. I don’t know about you but I think we are expecting too much from Zoya. Malin promised to take care of them all for me. It may have been hard for them without Ivy around. Ah, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be talking about people you may never have even heard of.”

Suddenly those blue eyes looked straight into hers and the body seemed to realize what it was holding on to.

“Shit! I’m sorry,” she said and let go, then laughed at herself. “I should get myself a teddy bear or something. How embarrassing. I’m really sorry, but you should have said something. I’m not so inhuman as to treat people as my due.”

Once again the words weren’t really needed. Kyoko had to believe her because her face was so sincere.

“Ha... hai.”

They had stopped in the middle of the corridor and the few people coming along were staring at them. They both blushed before Kyoko continued walking with the model short on her heels. She was wearing soft heels. There were no clicking sounds coming after her.

Sky-kun walked up beside the flushed Japanese girl with a real apologizing look. “It was honestly not my intention to embarrass you.”

In some ways she was like Tsuruga-san. She was ready to apologize when she knew she was to blame. Being and staying angry at this woman was impossible when she put on that face.

“Yes. Don’t worry.” Kyoko smiled back tentatively. “I’m just under a lot of stress lately.”

Sky-kun smiled back and to her surprise Kyoko felt some of the tension on her shoulders ease. “I understand,” the model said softly. They walked in silence for a short while, before Sky-kun turned to her with a hopeful face.

“You don’t mind me talking, do you?”

“Huh? Oh, no. Of course not.”

“Thank you! I haven’t had anybody to talk to for a whole week. I am getting abstinent. I feel like my jaw is going to dislocate from being forced to talk slowly. The words just want to trip over my tongue on their way out. Are you having troubles understanding me?”

“Not much. Don’t worry. Besides; listening to you is good for my English. I realize I have to practice.”

“Always nice to know I can be of help to someone. You know, models aren’t treated as people. Well, it’s because most of them, us, are divas with an attitude that’ll kill them one day. Whenever I come to a new place they all stiffen up and treat me like a ticking bomb. That’s why I really don’t like to come to new places like this. I can only hope my reputation has come before me. I tell you, being a bomb is even more annoying than being a glass doll, and then I really hate that treatment too!”

They were in the right wing now and Kyoko realized they had almost passed the door. “Here we are.” Then she remembered the words of the office worker. The photographer needed the folders _before_ the model arrived. She hesitatingly looked to the woman that to Kyoko’s great relief hadn’t just left and walked straight in.

“Why don’t you go in and prepare them for my arrival?”

To be honest, she hadn’t met many models beside Tsuruga-san, but from Sky-kun’s rant she could tell there were a lot of them out there who were a lot less considerate than Sky-kun. She smiled back gratefully and opened the door.

The entire room turned like one person when she entered. The look on their faces made the girl think that she was the bringer of the apocalypse. One man especially looked about ready to die or explode.

“Excuse me. I have…”

“ **NO**! NOT ONE OF **YOU**!”

Obviously he choose to explode. His voice could most certainly be heard all the way outside. Sky-kun definitely heard even if she couldn’t understand.

“GET OUT OF HERE! DON’T TOUCH THE DOOR WITH YOUR DISASTOROUS HANDS! WE’RE WAITING FOR A **SUPERMODEL**! YOU’RE AN EYESORE! GET OUT! GET **LOST**!”

The photographer grabbed a handful of film and hurled them at Kyoko with all his might. She lifted the folders to protect her face.

A supporting hand was placed on her back as Sky-kun walked in. Kyoko couldn’t see her face, but the model’s aura she could feel. The nervousness had disappeared under an air of angered determination that Kyoko imagined she could smell.

“Hey! Cool your head…”

“I SAID **OUT**! DON’T COME HERE! I’M THE FIRST JAPANESE PHOTOGRAPHER TO TAKE QUEEN’S PICTURE! I CAN’T HAVE **YOU** IN MY STUDIO! **BE GONE**!”

More film was thrown before the man followed the projectiles and pushed them both out into the corridor, causing the model, who had been standing in front of the first Love-Me member and caught the film thrown at them, to land on top of the younger girl.

After the door slammed shut Kyoko sat with a lapful angrily trembling supermodel that had just been thrown out and wished she was anywhere but at this exact spot in universe.

“Translate... please.”

The words were spoken with a great deal of self-restraint. There was a storm coming in.

“He told us to get out.”

“Yes?”

How could body heat be this uncomfortable? “He was probably talking to me.”

“I said;” Sky-kun stood and looked her down “translate what he said.”

“Get out of here you bring disaster you’re an eyesore get out get lost don’t come here I’m waiting for a supermodel I’m the first Japanese photographer to shoot Queen get out of my studio disappear!”

Those blue eyes that some minutes ago had reminded her of the sky were now like snow and ice dotted with the darkness of night. It was fascinating how blue could have so many shades in a pair of eyes. Sky-kun picked up the dropped folders and the film, opened the door and walked straight in with a posture ready for battle. Still, she wasn’t going down to the level of the man who had just thrown her out on her butt– even if that butt had landed softly thanks to Kyoko.

Inside it was silent like the grave. The woman walked up to a table and dropped down the folders, the envelope and her photo on top with a sound that had every individual within hearing cringe. The supermodel everybody had been waiting for turned to the photographer.

“The first thing you had brains enough to do was insulting me.” The man turned with his arms raised as if to protect himself from a beating. “The second was to humiliate both me and the girl who was kind enough to stop me outside the door to warn you that I was here. To top it off you’ve proved yourself unworthy of calling yourself a photographer.” She held up the film and gently placed them on the folders.

The European model wasn’t a little like Tsuruga-san. She was _a lot_ like Tsuruga-san, if she wasn’t his equal. At that moment Kyoko didn’t know which one of them she was most afraid of when angry. She sure as hell didn’t want Sky-kun’s anger directed at her. Sky-kun started walking towards her and the door.

“A moment ago I was ready to shoot you myself, but seeing I left my gun with my luggage, I will settle for a small gesture to show my appreciation of being welcomed this way.” In the door she turned around and gave the staff the finger. “Skit på er.”

 

* * *

 

After having helped Sky-kun direct and pay a taxi Mogami Kyoko headed towards the _Dark Moon_ set and Mio’s last scenes. She had some hard scenes today and one of them was with Katsuki, so Tsuruga-san would be there too. To tell the truth she wasn’t looking forward to it. Most certainly he had heard about the rumours and she only knew about a few. She hadn’t got the time to go ask Sawara-san now! What if Tsuruga-san was mad! He had sounded a little strange over the phone when he called her in Abiko and she hadn’t heard from him since. No doubt he had heard the rumours. There was no way he would not be mad.

Kyoko shook her head. She couldn’t be scared now. Being scared meant that there would be flaws in her acting and she couldn’t have that! _Dark Moon_ was in the last run, making the scenes for the last few episodes and to delay the schedule would be a hell lot of a disaster for her. She had work as Bou tonight as well.

Kyoko stopped short in her tracks. Had they found a replacement for her yet? She didn’t know. She had worked as Bou for so long now that it had become natural to think she had to work on certain nights. Would she dare to call Hikaru-san and ask? She hadn’t heard from him since the night he took her home.

Why not?

The actress forced her friend’s words from that night away from her awareness. Everything would be just fine! She would be just fine! Whether Bou had a replacement yet or not she would go there just to thank the trio that were her friends.

But first she had to survive at _Dark Moon_...

 

* * *

 

“Hallo everybody! How many have missed me?”

Sho turned around to see a short woman with a beautiful face enter the room with her coat over one arm. Her voice was nice too and she had spoken in English.

“Yuni!”

Lec-chan was the first to jump into the woman’s arms. Soya was short on her heels. Malin-kun greeted her in Russian.

Malin-kun, who had always been cool and cocky to him, was smiling. The sharpness in her eyes was gone, replaced with a soft light. Lec-chan too. The young girl that tried to act like she was equal to an adult was suddenly a child clinging to a mother figure.

Everybody made room for Kilill-san.

“Yuni.”

Surprised Sho watched it happen. Kilill-san went down on one knee and let himself be kissed on the forehead. Like he was a child. Then Lec-chan jumped onto Kilill-san’s back along with Soya.

Malin-kun had emphasised that there were no funny relationships within the group. This really opposed her words.

“I wasn’t lying.”

He turned and looked down into Malin-kun’s purple eyes.

“What?”

“There are no funny relationships within the group. Yuni is simply the mother... or the saint so to say.”

He frowned in confusion. “What? You mean you are the dead and she is the saint?”

“Pretty much. You’ve noticed Kirill’s last name is Mertvye, right?”

He nodded. He had also noticed the M word within the stage name that he had tried, and failed, to pronounce. Lec-chan had done a good job to make him go crazy for trying to teach him the correct pronouncing of the group.

“Mertvye is just a stage name, a connection to the name of the group if you want. Translated it simply means “The dead”. If you are prepared for a story from the dark world you are welcome to ask.”

He stared at her as she added to the group surrounding the new arrival. Their drummer they had said. Model they had said. She was very small... too small to be either. That woman couldn’t be taller than Kyoko, even if she did have a great face and body. Admitted was that he liked big boobs, but bigger ones would look strange on this woman. The ones she had looked nice enough.

Then he caught the eyes of hers looking into his. They were blue. Kilill-san had blue eyes too, but they weren’t as enchanting, or as warm as this pair.

“You know English I hope.”

She smiled at him and he nodded, somewhat caught off guard. She had a great smile.

“Good. It would be a pain if I needed a translator every time I had to talk to you. My name is Yuni Sky, and please use my first name.”

“Ah. Nice to meet you. I’m Fuwa Sho, musician.” He smiled and shook her hand.

Her eyes widened, but then she seemed to scold her face and smile. Was it just him or did she seem really amused by something?

“I really hope we can work peacefully together Mr. Sho... No wait. Your last name is...” she cleared her throat. “Your last name is... Fuwa?”

Was there something funny about that?

“Yes. We say our family name first here.”

She smiled that strangely bright smile again. “Okay then... Mr. Fuwa...”

Behind her he saw the rest of the group stare strangely at the woman’s back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suppose I haven't properly introduced the OCs and their roles, so here goes.  
> Kirill Mertvye (stage name); vocals and guitar  
> Malin Connor; bass and acts as manager  
> (Big Boss) Ivy; keys, also the band's drive  
> Elexa; vocals  
> Yuni Sky; drums, seconds as model under the name "Queen"  
> All members of The Dead Saints have at one point been involved in the military one way or another.


	9. Turn

“You threw Queen _out_?! One of Europe’s most influential supermodels and you threw her out the door?!”

It was unbelievable! Saena had been late due to a phone call about another job she just couldn’t cut off and then rushed here with a sample of cloths for the shot. Never had she dreamt about a photographer kicking the model out the door. She rubbed her forehead in attempt to ease the growing headache.

“Mogami-dono, I am sure Ishida-sensei is aware of what he has done,” the president said so calmly she got anxious.

“I sure hope so! Takarada-san, are you even aware of what may happen now? After all, this is your business.”

“I know Ishida-sensei and I have an apology to prepare for. The ad isn’t the most important thing right now. You understand, don’t you, Ishida-sensei?”

The photographer nodded, still on the verge of breaking down in a flood of tears. He had messed up big time and could only hope Queen had a heart somewhere that would at least forgive L.M.E for his idiocy.

 

* * *

 

Mogami Kyoko had to drag herself to the set, and once she got there she tried to become one with the wall. Not daring to look up in fear to meet anybody’s eyes she quietly slipped, pressed to the wall, towards her lodge.

“HOW DARE YOU!”

Her heart jumped out her mouth, her stomach turned inside out, her throat squeezed, her breath got stuck, her blood fell to her feet, her brain went blank and her body froze.

“Mitsuki... Why Mitsuki? Did Mio put a curse on you?!”

Mitsuki? Mio? Kyoko dared a peek and saw Oohara-san, red-faced and teary yelling at Tsuruga-san. They were acting out a scene.

She let her breath out. Most attention would be on the stage and there was a slim chance for her to get to her lodge unnoticed.

Just a little bit more.

“Huh? Kyouko-san?”

She had been spotted.

“Good thing you’re here. We must talk about your...”

Talking? She wasn’t mentally prepared for talking! The lodge was just ahead. She made a dash for it.

“...last scene...?”

Kyoko held the handle and couldn’t let go. What was she doing? This couldn’t go on. She had to go out there and do her work despite the stares, despite the whispers and despite how her stomach turned.

She wanted to throw up again.

“I must have... caught something bad.”

There was a knock on the door, causing her to jump away from it.

“Mogami-san, are you there?”

The make-up artist. Everybody had probably seen her when she dashed through the set towards her lodge.

She felt sick.

“I-I’m here. You can come in.”

 

* * *

 

Tsuruga Ren’s head was swirling with thoughts that refused to leave him alone, hardly even when he was in character. Most of them circled around the gossip. It had always been the source of life for the entertainers and what kept them alive as much as their work. Every now and again a destructive rumour appeared and for most of the time the star fell once the rumours got overboard. Of course there were survivors, but they would never be clean from the rumours. Mogami-san would never be clean from those cruel rumours.

He knew for a fact that Mogami-san was untouched by a man and why she was so, but it wasn’t like he could go out with that, for more than one reason. And she would never be able to persuade anybody she was still a virgin. Not completely. Mogami Kyoko was an actress and if anybody tested her they would believe she was acting.

Her mother had really put her in the mouth of dilemma.

Moreover, the newest add to the rumour was as true as saying Mogami-san was born as a male. There was no way she preferred women. Fuwa Sho was proof enough of that. But right now people were prepared to believe anything they heard about Mogami Kyoko. It was possible she had both lost and gained fans, and it was only a matter of time before these news reached the media and Mogami-san’s reputation would be forever damaged. How was she feeling about all this?

He sighed. Right now he couldn’t tell how the girl was feeling. She could be anything from angry to afraid. As a child Mogami-san had cried about not being good enough, and he had the feeling that she was still somewhat caught in the thinking that she had to be perfect and always do right in order for people to accept her. She had partly gotten away from that thinking, but the expectations she had on herself were still high.

The door opened.

“Wait here until we finish the stage, Kyouko-san.”

Mogami-san stepped into the room and he stood to greet her. Her eyes were very calm for a person with so many negative rumours circling around her. But that was only until she saw him.

“Ah, Moga...”

In front of him the girl shrunk, paled and trembled. It didn’t take a brain to tell she was scared. What had he done now? There hadn’t been any tensions between them in some time. So why now?

She fell into seiza position and started to mumble.

“Good afternoon great sempai Tsuruga-sama. What a terrific day. I hope we can work together peacefully without any painful accidents...”

“Mogami-san? What is this about?” He sat on his heels in front of her. She refused to look up into his face and kept her eyes locked on his lower chest.

“Uh, we have a scene together this bright and happy day that should be to risen one’s spirits. Then I was only thinking about what people say. So much has been said lately...”

Her face was tense and full of dread. Did she think he believed in the rumours and didn’t like her? No. Mogami-san was probably thinking that the rumours had made him angry with her for some reason or another.

“Ah, Mogami-san, I’m... not angry with you or anything.”

Finally she looked up into his face. Just a second though.

“But... I signed into the agency without permission from my mother. And there was this and then that...”

He sighed as she continued to mumble. Seeing her like this made it clear how far down the ranks she thought herself to be.

“No, Mogami-san. I’m really not angry with you.” She looked up again. “I’m not angry but, I’m very worried. People are cruel and love to gossip.” Her eyes widened. “I thought that you might have been cornered or bullied about it already, and I don’t know how to help you.”

Her face went blank. He recognized it. She looked like this as she decided what to feel. Then her eyes would widen slightly before changing.

She started crying.

“Mogami-san!”

She was trembling even more than earlier. She rarely cried. Not like this. Only once before had he seen her really cry. This wasn’t the same as back then.

“...thought... I thought... hate me... I thought you too... would hate me.”

So she hadn’t gotten rid of that image of him? She still made him seem like some kind of demon. Really, was she respecting or fearing him?

Wait. Too? Had someone already said they hated her? Someone close enough to make her cry like this in front of him. Who could it be? That friend of hers? What was her name... Kotonami-san? That couldn’t be.

Cautiously he put a hand on her head.

“Don’t worry. I don’t hate you.”

“But... all those... rumours...”

“Are they true?”

“NO! Absolutely not! There is no way! I would never do something like that!”

“Then there is nothing to worry about, is there?”

He offered a tissue saved from the lunch Yashiro-san had forced him to eat. She would need a touch-up on the make-up later.

“You don’t have to worry, Mogami-san. All the people that matter, your friends, knows you would never sell yourself or go after other girls.”

“Huh? What do you mean; going after other girls?”

He mirrored her surprised face. She wasn’t aware of that one yet?

“Um... the newest gossip says... you were seen kissing another Love-Me girl.”

“Oh! But that was only an accident. Moko-san and I slipped and to save each other from harm we protected the other’s head causing our faces to... I mean... It was just an unfortunate accident...”

In his whole life Ren had never once looked down on women. To him there was little difference between them and men, except for the great differences in opinion. Never once had he envied a woman either. Much less felt jealous of one. Until now. It was just a prick in his heart. A prick the size of a fist, caused by Mogami-san’s red cheeks.

He quickly shook his head. It was just an embarrassing memory. That was all there was to it. Those red cheeks didn’t mean anything.

The door opened again.

“Tsuruga-san, Kyouko-san. Stage 3 is ready for you.”

“We’ll be right there,” he answered the assistant. “Come on, Mogami-san. Let’s work well today too.”

She smiled at him. “Okay, Tsuruga-san.”

 

* * *

 

“Alright. That’s good,” Ogata called after the rehearsal and people started moving.

The make-up artists checked the make-up, Tsuruga Ren straightened his cloths, Ogata scribbled down the changes made and Kyoko shook her head to get rid of a sudden dizziness. She realized she hadn’t eaten properly for the last two days and hoped it wasn’t obvious. This was her absolutely last scene. After this Mio was finished. She couldn’t screw up now.

“We’re done here,” one of the stage designers called to the director.

“Good. Tsuruga-san, Kyoko-san. Take your positions.”

A short glance and smile was shared between the actors on stage before both their faces fell into shadow. Under a weak lamp Katsuki sat on the sofa staring emptily in front of him with his folded hands resting against his mouth.

Mio stood stiff beside the sofa, gaze locked on the man in it.

“Scene 127 take 1. Action.”

 

_I have nothing to say. If he expects me to comfort him he is gravely mistaken. He made his choice, and this is where it has left him. He deserves neither pity nor accusation._

_“I guess this is it.”_

_His voice is soft, small and on the verge of breaking. What did he expect?_

_“Yes.”_

_His eyes are dry. Good. Now we are two without a chance of redemption. This may be the reason he told me. Mitsuki-san will not hear it from his mouth._

_“Are you mad at me?”_

_My eyebrows knit together before I relax my face again. He killed my parents and Misao-onee-san. I always hated them. I always hated him._

_“I was.” He doesn’t move. “Why does it matter?”_

_I see how his eyes move, looking for words I suppose._

_“I don’t know,” he says. I’m not surprised._

_“What had you expected?” I ask of him. “What are you expecting?”_

_He sighs and lowers his head. You can’t hide, Katsuki-sensei. This is the curse. You realize that much, don’t you?_

_“I don’t know anymore. I wasn’t thinking about anything else but my family when I did it.”_

_Is he laughing? Or crying? You don’t have the right to cry._

_“Welcome to my world,” I say. “This is no great place and you can’t get out. But you already knew that, didn’t you, Katsuki-sensei. Or should I say Katsuki-san?”_

_When he looks up again his eyes are dry, but still as empty. Then he nods._

_“Yes. I suppose I did know.”_

_He looks up at me and there is a smile on his lips as empty as his eyes. He is looking for something. I know what. I won’t give it._

_“What is worse; the guilt or the shame?”_

_I glare at him. He should already know that._

_The telephone gives a shrill signal in this silence. None of us moves._

_The tone calls out again._

_“I guess I should go. It’s probably the police.” He stands up and moves towards the door._

_Another call for attention._

_From the corner of my eye I see him turn in the door._

_“I will see you later, Hongo-san.”_

_Then I’m alone again. Mitsuki-san will probably be back soon with the face of a broken heart. At least Katsuki-san saved her the pain of knowing of his plans. Maybe I should have tried to stop him._

_A forth shrill sound from the phone and I walk up to it. I feel it vibrate under my hand as it calls again._

_So he will see me later, huh?_

_The last signal is cut off in the middle. I can’t help but smirk._

_“I will see you in hell, Katsuki-san.”_

 

“Cut. Ok.”

It was rare for Ogata to accept the first take. Kyoko’s heart jumped with sudden happiness, then fell like a stone. This was it. Now Mio wasn’t needed anymore. The rest of the filming would go on without her.

For her inner eye she saw Mio. She wasn’t smiling. Until the very end she had never been able to smile. She simply nodded her head and was gone.

It was strange. From the beginning she hadn’t liked Mio at all, because of the evil curse that had been put on her and couldn’t get away from. Mio had never been able to fly freely in the sky or live in the world of the sun. If just a little more. If she could have been with Mio a little more there may have been a way to redeem her from the curse. Maybe, just maybe, she could have made Mio smile from her heart just once.

She sighed. Mio was gone now, even though she was still dressed in her cloths and had her face.

“Mogami-san?”

She blinked. A hand was waving in front of her.

“Eh? Tsuruga-san?”

Her senior smiled gently. “You were spacing out.”

Spacing out? She quickly looked around and saw people staring at her. Crap. She had done it again.

“S-sorry. I will go change now.”

“Okay. This was my last scene for today too. Do you have any work after this?”

“Yes... or, I think so. I don’t know if... I mean... I have to check. I need to go to the office first though, so...” She looked up at him shyly, wondering if she really should dare to ask, considering the rumours.

“If you’re in a hurry I can give you a ride,” he offered.

“Ah, thank you but... aren’t you afraid... well. People are talking you know.”

Her heart was beating so fast. She was afraid of both answers. Being with her might involve Tsuruga-san in the rumours. What would she do if it really happened? Tsuruga-san’s reputation would be eternally damaged! But what if he said no? Maybe she shouldn’t have said anything and just accepted. Now she had reminded him and he might never want to get close to her again!

“It’s no problem,” she heard him say and quickly looked up. He smiled calmingly. “There really is no problem.”

Half of her face smiled. The other half paled.

 

* * *

 

Mogami Saena, at the peak of her career as cloth designer and the hottest name within the same section, was nervous. The president of L.M.E had managed to contact Queen and the model was willing to come and hear their apology. There hadn’t been any nervousness earlier. But that was only because she would have to do with a model that would either be unsure or very familiar an in control of the situation. Now that model was probably very much not easy to deal with. Queen had so much fame and so much influence in this showbiz section. One wrong word from any of them and all of Japan would suffer.

She was early, but couldn’t go to the meeting place just yet. First she needed a coffee. Coffee with milk and sugar.

“God bless these coffee machines,” she sighed as she spotted one. Those were really one of the best of mankind’s creations.

After the paper mug was filled she sat down with it, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees in a very unladylike way. Immediately when she felt the mocha on her tongue she felt how her tensions eased and that everything that was wrong in this world would turn out just fine.

“You make the best coffee, Sana.”

She smiled at the memory. Whenever she was able to sit down with a cup of hot coffee with milk and sugar all the good memories from that time returned to her. They had met at a coffee bar and he had had troubles with the Japanese language back then. She giggled remembering the first impression he had made. She had been on her way to an employment interview and been so nervous she hadn’t been able to stand it, so she had stopped at the coffee bar for a relaxing cup of coffee, and then he had just been there.

“I hope not sturb you drink coffee.”

Back then she had laughed out loud, right in his face.

Sighing she emptied the cup and returned to reality. It had started with a much needed laugh. It had ended in an evil circle where she couldn’t escape. To this day she felt the pain of losing him like that. That their daughter had his eyes added even more oil to the fire.

Straightening her sap green suit she walked towards one of the many corridors, before a sudden commotion called upon her attention. It sounded like screaming women, a lot of them.

Another memory came to her consciousness. She turned her course towards the noise. There was probably not anything that she would be able to do, but she couldn’t ignore it.

The scene in the entrance hall was as bad as the one in her memories. The place had turned into a war zone with Tsuruga Ren and several girls on one side and her daughter on the other. The women were pushing her. Hitting her. One grabbed her hair and threw her some distance. Words were uttered. Raw, ugly and terribly untrue words.

The man on the other side of the barrier of women tried to get through. His face was pained.

“Stop...”

Reality, the past and present overlapped. Once again she just stood there. For the second time she was watching it happen.

“Stop.”

They were going to hurt her. If this continued that girl would be killed. Her daughter would be killed!

“THAT’S ENOUGH!”

It was a miracle. At the sound of her voice everything stilled and turned towards her. Saena was so angry she trembled. So happy the scene had stilled. Terrified she suddenly was the object of so much attention.

Her gaze locked at the girl with eyes the colour of a sunset. A late sunset.

“Kioko! You get out of here. Now!”

The girl’s eyes widened and there were tears in the corners of them.

“But... I have... office...”

“Then go there! Just get out of my sight!”

The girl got up, staggered, and fled. Good. Now she would hopefully get her ass away from this cursed business.

She turned to the one guilty of all this.

“Tsuruga-san. A moment of your time please.”

The barrier of female bodies immediately tightened.

“What? Are you going to try...”

She felt how her anger made her bigger. The women between her and Tsuruga Ren recoiled as she glared at them.

“I was not talking to any of you.” She looked back to the star. “Just. One. Moment. **Please**.”


	10. Mogami Saena VS. Tsuruga Ren

Kyoko ran through the hallways towards the office. It had turned out worse than she had thought. Tsuruga-san hadn’t been accused for anything. Instead he had been used as a reason to attack. She would never be able to get near her sempai again.

“Ah! Ms. Mogami!”

Surprised she stopped. That voice sounded just like... “Sky-kun...”

“What happened? Girl, you look like you were attacked.”

The model’s face was filled with genuine worry and concern.

“I... I was just... No! Sky-kun, why are you here again?”

“I’m here to get an apology out of the idiot from this morning. If you’re not in the greatest hurry I suggest you come along. After all, he owes you an apology as well.”

“No. I can do without.”

“Stop that.” Sky-kun’s face darkened in anger. “You can’t let people push you around like another ragdoll and then not be apologized to. Listen to me now. If you once let people step all over you they will never stop. In a worst case scenario you will be killed.”

Chills went down her spine. It was what had almost happened just a moment ago.

“I see you know what I mean. Come on now. It won’t take long.”

The hands that grabbed hers were warm, firm and gentle. Nothing like the hands that had just been hitting her because she had been walking too close to Tsuruga-san. She felt herself start to tremble with held-back tears.

Arms surrounded her and a warm body pressed against hers.

“You are safe with me, Kyoko. I won’t let you get hurt.”

It wasn’t Tsuruga-san’s arms, and certainly not his body. The feeling that filled her was different too. It was warm, safe and the scent of forest on Sky-kun brought up memories. For the first time she felt like a child slowly rocked in a mother’s arms.

 

* * *

 

In another room Mogami Saena and Tsuruga Ren faced each other with equal hard stares. Yashiro had gone ahead to tell the director that something had come up. Something that couldn’t wait and no, he couldn’t say what it was.

Mogami Saena opened her mouth first.

“Explain yourself. You were obviously the cause of what happened.”

The male’s face stiffened. He couldn’t deny it was his fault. Like he couldn’t deny he had more or less watched it happen.

“Yes. Thank you for putting a stop to it.”

She glared at him. That was it? No denial? No explanation? Just a thank you?

“Have this kind of thing happened before?”

He shook his head.

“Are you going out with my daughter?”

Now his face was suspicious, but he shook his head again.

“So why was she attacked?”

“Shouldn’t you know that?” the star shot back. “You’re the one spreading the rumour of Mogami-san being a whore in the first place.”

She flinched, but didn’t back down. “That might have been the case. So why, if you were aware of the gossip, was she with you?”

He stared at her. This man had the nerve to stare at her. Then he frowned.

“How long were you watching?”

“Don’t you know how wanted you are?!” she almost yelled. “I’m not stupid. Anyone can tell she was attacked for standing too close to you, Mr. Most Wanted. Jealousy is a curse that can kill! You saw that much, didn’t you?”

He stared at her with something strange in his eyes, like the beginning of understanding.

“What are you after? You attack your own daughter by spreading those false rumours. Aren’t you hurting her enough?”

“I want her out of this business if it is the last thing I do.”

“Why?”

“That’s none of your business.”

They glared at each other again.

“And why are you so interested? Don’t tell me you have a thing for Kyoko.”

His face cracked, then hardened. “What if I have?”

Mogami Saena straightened, prepared to give this man the blow-up of a lifetime. But he wouldn’t move. Being taller he had the advantage of staring her down. He refused to understand. This man had never thought about the consequences.

“Keep out of this. It has nothing to do with you. Just leave my daughter alone!”

“Mogami-san comes to me of her own authority, and I will not ask her to stop. As long as she needs my support she will have it.”

She gaped at him, gobsmacked. Hadn’t he learnt the lesson already? Hadn’t he seen what had just happened only because Kioko was walking too close to him? What the heck would he do if it happened again? Why were his eyes so solemn?

“Fine!” she spat. “Do whatever you like. I’m sure you can make her happy just by existing.”

It was impossible to read the expression on the star’s face, but his body spoke instead.

“So she has rejected you? Or you haven’t touched her yet? Good for you, because once that girl is out of this business you will never see her again.”

“You can’t say that.”

“Try me. I will make sure she never touches upon fame again,” Mogami Saena hissed and glowered at him, feeling like a mountain in her determination to win. In front of her Tsuruga Ren slowly became someone else. A man with the raging eyes of an unsteady heart and the aura of a killer.

“Keep it right up,” he said lowly. “Whether or not Mogami-san leaves is her choice. You can fight it as much as you wish. If you use all your might to hurt Mogami-san, I will be right there and fight you back. Be sure of that.”

By the end of his words Saena stood frozen, hit by his words and by realization.

“You have no idea what you are talking about,” she whispered. “Tsuruga Ren isn’t even the real you and still you claim you will protect my daughter? She doesn’t even know you’re lying to her, does she?”

At that he refused to answer. But he wasn’t speechless.

“I’m not going to let her go.”

Saena’s eyes widened.

Japan’s top actor passed her and went out the door. Mogami Kyoko’s mother stood petrified. It was too late. From the very beginning it had already been too late. She hadn’t been able to do anything back then. Hell if she would stand by and watch this time.

 

* * *

 

Kyoko stood stiff, not knowing what to think. She had never seen anything like this, not even in the most dramatic of dramas. The room was like a boiling pot filled with raw anxiety and awkwardness. In the middle of everything stood Sky-kun with her arms crossed and a dark skinned woman by her side. The Love-Me girl remembered the model had ranted about people treating her like a ticking bomb. Now she understood what that meant.

It was the first time Kyoko stood at the receiving end of an (reluctant) apology where the other part was lowering their head. Lory Takarada was humbly apologizing along with the photographer and both of them were still bowing deeply. The president had no problem apologizing to both the model and Love-Me member, but in the photographer’s opinion all this was Love-Me’s fault.

The silence seemed to stretch out forever.

“I have met my share of mighty men in my days,” Sky-kun broke the silence, “and I am positively surprised.”

Sky-kun was smiling slightly when the president looked up. He too smiled as he straightened his back along with the photographer.

“But, I never want to see that man again.” Sky-kun nodded towards the photographer who immediately bowed down again.

“I am honestly very sorry and I have...”

“Stop.”

The man held his breath.

“You might as well apologize to the stars. But understand that I am not as mad at you for throwing me out as I am about your throwing film.”

The photographer was cold sweating.

The other woman said something with an amazed voice, but Kyoko couldn’t understand the words. Sky-kun answered with a nod.

“I’m... sorry.”

“Save me your nonsense. Tell me why you think I am mad about the film instead.”

The poor man was trembling and swallowed. He couldn’t seek support from the president either.

“I think... I... the film... I don’t... know.”

Again the room fell into silence. It was like Sky-kun was using the silence to put more pressure on the one apologizing, or more weight to her words. As an actress Kyoko had seen it, tried it too, but she had never thought it could actually be used in real life. Sky-kun was a pro too.

“I see. Well, I won’t tell you either. So until you figure out why the film made me angry, get out of my sight.”

But he didn’t move. He stood there, bowed down and searched for words.

“You better do as Yuni says,” the other woman suddenly stated, in Japanese. “For your own good. From my point of view you got away easily.”

The president made a notion to his assistant and the photographer was showed the way out.

“Ms. Sky. What are you going to do now?”

“I will stay with the band. After all, the modelling is only a part-time job.”

“If you forgive me for asking directly; are you willing to do the ad? With another photographer of course.”

“If you chose one with care I will have no complains. But the band comes first. I’m not the only model here. It will be easy to find a substitute.” She smiled understanding. “In this case there may be no winners.”

Kyoko couldn’t help but smile. It was amazing to witness the president act like he handled a live poisonous snake, and Sky-kun was well aware of it. She handled the situation like the professional she was.

Sebastian came back and whispered something to the president who nodded.

“There is one more who is in need of apologizing to you.”

Sky-kun blinked. “Is that so? I don’t remember being insulted more than once in this agency.

“She is not from my agency.”

Kyoko felt how her blood went cold and her stomach turn in sickness. Mogami Saena entered the room in the heels of the president’s assistant.

The woman went straight up to the model and bowed slightly. “My apologies for not being at the shot this morning.” She straightened. “I am Polnoch Sana, designer. I admit some blame should be put on me.”

Sky-kun nodded, her eyes awake and listening. Kyoko realized her mother spoke good English.

“I believed the measures I had gotten were incorrect, so I added to the tension Ishida-sensei already felt.”

The model sighed. “I wish I could say that was a first. Being the only grown model this height is troublesome.” Then her face changed, becoming curious. “Is it rude of me to ask if that is your real name?”

“Of course not. It’s my pseudonym. Why?”

“Nothing,” Sky-kun said, then she smiled. “I have heard you design for superstars. I hope we can work together some time during my stay in Japan.”

She held out her hand. Kyoko watched nervously. This was the first time she saw her mother at work. There was a lot of pride in her voice as she spoke.

“I hope so too, Ms. Sky.”

The other woman checked the clock and then said something to Sky-kun. Kyoko saw her mother’s face stiffen before a mask was put up.

“You’re from Russia?”

“I live there now, but I’m born in Scotland. Why?”

“No. I just recognized the language.”

There was suddenly something different with Sky-kun’s face. It wasn’t the open and genuine face anymore. To Kyoko it seemed like the model had closed the book and her face was now showing the cover; a face where you couldn’t tell what was written on the inside.

“I see. But right now you must excuse me. We have a meeting with the band and the director of our newest PV.”

The foreign women were shown towards the door, but then Sky-kun remembered something.

“Oh, right. Mr. President?”

“Yes?”

“Make sure to thank Ms. Mogami properly. I would never have come to hear you out if I had never met her.”

Then she was out the door.

Lory Takarada turned to the younger of the two Mogami in the room. Not without noticing the stiffness of the mother.

“Thank you, Mogami-kun. It seems like your presence have saved me from a serious scandal.”

“Ah. That’s okay.”

“Are you involved with that Russian band?”

“Huh?”

Mogami Saena glared at her.

“The only Russians that have arrived to Japan are _The dead Saints_. Are you involved with them?”

Her mother was angry. She would be slapped again.

“Mogami-dono...”

“Shut up!”

Kyoko cringed. “N-no. I have only met them shortly. I’m not involved with them.”

For a long moment the elder Mogami only stood there, shoulders trembling. Then she turned on her heels and headed straight out.

 

* * *

 

She sat with her guns by the new table. Today had been a good day. Two jobs done for a sum of almost a million yen. It was time to move soon though. Too many people had figured out where she was hiding. There was only one person she waited for. One she knew would come see her today.

Nothing in Tokyo moved without her knowing about it, and the past few weeks had been interesting. Though things happened all the time there were one handful of events that peaked up. Events that would soon involve her.

The sound of high heels clicking against pavement reached her long before the person wearing them. She kept cleaning her guns. The steps were fast and angry. She already knew who was wearing those annoying shoes. Last time she had heard them they had been slow and hesitating.

There was no hesitation there now. She smiled to herself.

The owner of the shoes entered her cell.

“Well, well, what a difference.” She turned around. Her client’s face was striped from ruined make-up and still wet with tears. But the glow in the eyes was lovely. “ _That_ is the face of someone who is _certain_.”


	11. A bad day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has lots and lots of break lines. I hope you can all keep up and forgive me for doing it this way. I thought it would add a lot more tension.

That night Kyoko was dead tired when she fell onto her bed. Emotionally this had been the worst day since valentine, and she had thought that day to be the Day of Hell. Just thinking “Valentine” made her angry.

Sighing she turned to stare into the ceiling. Why had her mother been so angry? Why was she angry?

Kyoko quickly banned those thoughts from her brain.

‘Mother is probably stressed,’ she thought. ‘Sky-kun is obviously more powerful than I thought. Even the president bowed to her! I never thought I’d see _him_ lower his head for anyone!’

_“Make sure to thank Ms. Mogami properly.”_

Kyoko smiled. There was a warm feeling circling around those words. Sky-kun had a strange effect on her. It was calming to be in her presence. She had a small body but a big person. Kyoko would have to ask Tsuruga-san about her the next time they met.

The warmth was gone in an instant.

“I can’t get close to Tsuruga-san anymore, can I?”

She couldn’t. There were bruises on her body. Darkened patches of tender skin caused by the nails and fists of jealous admirers. There was no way she could go near her sempai again.

Kyoko sat up straight. “Wait! Why does it really matter? It shouldn’t hurt like this only because I must stay away from a sempai! What’s wrong with me?”

She roughly ruffled her hair and glared into the wall. “It doesn’t matter much to me!” she said to it. Then caught the frozen gaze of the Tsuruga-san nailed to the wall next to her. “And don’t you dare accuse me for what happened! It was your fault! You shouldn’t have insisted on being with me...”

_“There really is no problem.”_

That’s what he had said. He had said there was no problem staying close. He had said he didn’t believe in the rumours because he knew her better than that, so there was no problem.

“But everybody else believes it. You really are... stupid, Kyoko.”

The wall was cold under her forehead. Thoughts and feelings were surging around inside, and the feeling beneath everything she strictly kept away from her consciousness.

She had decided to leave showbiz, so now her mother would be happy, right? If she went back to Kyoto her mother would love her. That’s what she had said! As long as she stayed in showbiz her mother wouldn’t acknowledge her.

_“Why not?”_

“Don’t start now, Hikaru-san...”

The scream startled the couple sleeping in the next room. The landlady opened the door and worriedly looked inside.

“Kyoko-chan?”

“I totally forgot! I should have been filming for _Totally Wild Rock_ tonight! Why haven’t they contacted me?! How could I ever forget?! I gotta go...”

“Kyoko-chan, please calm down. It’s the middle of the night. Don’t you think they would have contacted you when you weren’t on time?”

Kyoko stared at this woman who was as much a guardian as a friend. “You’re right,” she said, defeated. “They probably already found a substitute for me.”

And with that she fell onto her bed a second time that night. First school, today Mio and _Dark Moon_ and now Bou and _Totally Wild Rock_. Her life as an actress was fading. Her star was falling.

Not knowing what more to do the Okami returned to bed.

 

* * *

 

In another room in Tokyo stood Kyoko’s mother. The room was dark and she was alone. At least she hoped so.  The woman with green eyes, The Black Goddess, had said there were some things she had to look up before she made a move on Kyoko.

“You’re the first who comes to this place with such a reason.”

Those words rung in her head over and over again. The whole conversation had been bizarre. Goddess knew everything already. All that had happened to Kyoko since she arrived with Fuwa-kun.

“I kept my eyes on them since I thought Fuwa might want to... cut the ties, so to say. Too bad he’s got more moral than that.”

That’s what she had said. Goddess hadn’t mentioned what she knew about her, but there had been hints.

Saena sat down on the bed and looked to her shoes. She should take them off, get undressed and go to bed. Showering would have to wait till morning. Nobody would come visit her at night. She must look terrible. The make-up was probably ruined from all her crying. There weren’t any tears left now. Goddess would take care of Kyoko and then everything would start over from before that time. Her suffering wouldn’t exist anymore.

_“Don’t think so high of yourself.”_

Her grip on the comforter tightened.

_“You think you’re the only one suffering? You haven’t seen the dark side of this world.”_

“I know about the dark side,” she whispered into the night. “I saw my sister be killed by his fans, believing she was I.”

 

* * *

 

A morning had never been as terrible. It was easier to count the body parts that didn’t hurt. That slimmed down to her tights, toes and secret area. Everything else hurt more or less. The beating she had gotten from Tsuruga-san’s fans yesterday had been worse than she had thought. And to think they were working in the business too.

Then there were the emotional wounds. The loss of both Bou and Mio in the same day made her feel empty, and they hadn’t even had heart enough to tell her beforehand she wasn’t needed in _Totally Wild Rock_ anymore.

Tsuruga-san too. There was no way she could get close to him again. Maybe her mother was right. Maybe it was better for her, at least for her own safety, to return to Kyoto.

Her stomach clenched and she almost hurled. As if she didn’t have enough with her confused emotions as it was.

Opening her eyes they sought the daruma doll. It stared back at her with its only eye.

“You’re going to leave me as a one-eyed daruma forever?!”

That’s what the doll thought about her right now: a pitiful, defeated girl.

Her eyes hardened and she stood.

“Who the hell said I’m defeated?! I’ll show them all! Just because I can’t talk to Tsuruga-san personally and that mother doesn’t approve of my acting yet doesn’t mean I’m down on my knees already. Just wait. I’ll force mother to see my acting and she will prise me and take back everything bad she’s ever said to me! That’s right! I’ll do it. L.M.E, here I come!”

She was done dressing and out the door before she stopped moving. Thinking hard she sought inside her bag. It wasn’t there. Looking back she saw the miniature purse right beside the daruma doll.

“I’m sorry, Corn. I almost forgot you.”

She opened the purse and stared at the blue-purple stone. It was some time since she had held it in her hand. Still, some destructive magic had occurred.

“I know! It’s the magic! I’ve been cursed! That’s why I’m feeling this way! My sickness must be a side effect of the curse too. Why didn’t I think of it before?”

Corn gleamed up at her and she smiled back.

“Thank you, Corn. We will figure out how to break this curse together.”

There wasn’t much to do today, but as a Love-Me member she had still to get to work. There were always something to be done as such, and then she would go filming for _Box ‘R’_. Maybe she would have some time to go talking to _Bridge Rock_. She knew they had been filming last night and she wanted to know who her substitute was.

“Alright, Corn. Let’s go to work.”

 

* * *

 

In her office, Mogami Saena was working on the new autumn fashion. While normal people didn’t start thinking about autumn when spring had just started, clothing designers always had to be six month ahead of the year. It was hard work, trying to keep track the fashion of the rest of the world as well as any trend in Japan, but it was what she did best. As long as she sat behind her desk drawing, far away from the real world, she was happy.

When someone knocked on the door around lunchtime it was nothing out of the ordinary. A colleague came in with her samples to shortly get a second opinion and some advice. The idea was good, but not really correct. The woman didn’t have quite the touch yet, but she weighed it up by having a great dose of imagination and passion.

Being questioned to share lunch was not unusual either, nor was the phone ringing as she rose to collect her coat and purse.

“I’ll be there in a minute,” she reassured the colleague as she picked up the line. “Moshi, moshi. Polnoch Sana speaking.”

“Hi. I am Asami Haruki from Akatoki agency. I have a request about a set of special design cloths.”

 

* * *

 

Morning had been filled with little jobs to left and right. Now Mogami Kyoko finally had a moment to see her friends from _Bridge Rock_. The fact that they hadn’t even called her yesterday – or at all – was upsetting. Even more so after Hikaru-san had been so sweet that other night, lending his shoulder and following her home.

Thinking back, it was embarrassing. She, who cried so rarely, had broken down in front of him. For God’s sake, she had been working in showbiz for a little more than a year now, she should be used to most sorts of pressures. Fighting until she crawled in the dirt, banging her head bloody against obstacles way stronger than herself. Shouldn’t that have toughened her up enough to be able to withstand any hard feelings?

But seeing her mother and once again be disapproved of hurt something much deeper than that. An old wound had reopened, and underneath the flesh was rotting. Like there was an ogre living there.

NO! No, no, no, no! Can’t have that. Can’t be all down when I see them. Must act like I’m all right.

Then she ran into someone coming around the corner.

“Hey watch out where...”

Kyoko looked up to apologize, and she would have if the person she had run into had had any reason she knew of to be right there right then.

“Hoshisawa-san. What are you doing here? They aren’t filming in this area at this hour, are they?”

“Well, I should ask the same from you, Mogami-chan.”

“Eh? But I...”

Hoshisawa-san’s hands were busy with the buttons of her expensive-looking blouse. Had she just put it on? Had she come straight from a set? Here?

Hoshisawa-san snorted. “Whatever. It’s none of your business. Will I see you at set later?”

“Huh? No. I’m not going there until tomorrow.”

“See you then.” And with that Hoshisawa-san walked past her as dramatically as she possibly could, leaving Kyoko with question marks around her head.

“What was that all about?”

And then she heard a familiar voice down the hall.

“THAT KYOKO! HOW CAN SHE BE SUCH A WHORE?”

 

* * *

 

_Bridge Rock_ had gathered in the _Totally Wild Rock_ meeting room to discuss yesterday’s show and Mogami Kyoko’s replacement; a male in his mid-thirties. Professionally he was good enough. Not on the same level as Kyoko-chan, but he was the best the director had been able to pick out in such a short space of time.

But privately he was a nightmare; a real asshole who thought he was the centre of the show.

But in the middle of the meeting they had been visited by last night’s guest; a girl they only knew as “Kyoko”. Today she hadn’t come for small talk though. What she had done could only be described as sexual harassment, and nobody would believe them if they told that tale.

The guys were stunned for minutes after she left. Hikaru snapped first.

“THAT KYOKO! HOW CAN SHE BE SUCH A WHORE?”

“Really. I can’t believe it,” Yuusei agreed. “I was shocked yesterday, but still...”

Even Shinishi, who usually was the calmest of the three, was pacing with an annoyed expression. “I admit I had heard the rumours, but I could hardly believe they were actually true.”

Hikaru started towards the door, signalling the end of the meeting, knowing they would get nothing proper done in their state of mood. “With the amount of rumours flying around it’s hard to know which to believe in. But there is no doubt the ones about that whore are... true.”

He had opened the door. Outside stood a small-looking Mogami Kyoko. Her head was lowered so he couldn’t see her face, but a sense of dread settled in his stomach.

“Huh? Leader, what’s...?”

The silence from Shinishi and Yuusei told him they were just as aware that Kyoko-chan had just heard them talking as he was. Judging from her posture she believed they had been talking about her.

“K-Kyoko-chan.”

“Even after... working together... for so long...”

Her voice was low, hinting at pain. Hikaru would have done anything for a good advice or a miracle in that moment.

“Um, Kyoko-chan. Well, what you just heard... The thing is...”

If she didn’t hear, or heard and ignored him was hard to tell, but she wouldn’t hear him out. “Even after... being so kind... and so good to me... This is what you really feel...”

“No, of course not. Kyoko-chan...”

Hikaru had expected tears and a pained expression when Kyoko-chan looked up. Instead he and his friends met Devil Kyoko with minions for the first time.

“IS THIS SOME KIND OF JOKE?!”

 

* * *

 

Kirill Mertvye stopped playing as his sixth sense picked up the “voices” of strong emotions in the distance. Well, “voices” weren’t really the correct word, but he didn’t know how else to describe the signals he felt from people. One set of signals were getting very familiar to him by now.

“Again...”

“Kirill?”

He felt Yuni’s eyes on him and didn’t shield away from the soothing “voice” of her understanding and acceptance.

The problem was that they were in the middle of practicing the new song, and their blind keyboarder Ivy had finally joined them earlier today.

“I won’t have this, Kirill,” her harsh voice cut through the air. “Shut yourself off. Malin already told me you’ve been distracted more than once already since your arrival to Japan.”

Yuni’s words were just as sharp. “Ivy, if you don’t cool your head soon so help me I’m going to do something regrettable.”

Kirill tried to concentrate on the familiar sense of the female in the distance. From time to time she was sending out those strong emotion signals, but they were dulling down now, drowning in the tension between Yuni and Ivy. It was a good thing Malin had taken Elexa and Fuva elsewhere to finish the lyrics.

Yuni was the pillar of his life and the mother of the band, but Ivy was the Big Boss; the one who kept the members in line. Together they were the spine of _Mertvye Svjatye_. But the two of them weren’t inseparable friends. Ivy had been a major in the army – forced to resign after losing her eyes – and still acted that way. Yuni was a former nurse engaged with Red Cross. Their way of treating people were very different, and they had a hard time with the other’s ways.

Still they had some sort of strange agreement, for there had never been any scenes or scandals caused by them. Of course the Russian media knew about it, and in the start of their career as a band the lines had been; “Warning for catfight; _Mertvye Svjatye_ about to fall apart?”

That had been ten years ago, before the media learnt that it was only a shagong.

“There is a girl out there who is very hurt, and covers it with extreme levels of anger, maybe even hatred,” Kirill said, trying to break through the tension.

“I care little about anything but finishing practice before we go to set next week. The score isn’t as advanced as those of _Mermaid_ or even _King’s war_.”

“Ivy...”

Yuni’s restrained voice was ignored.

“I recognize you as a capable musician, Kirill. Now put that capacity to use and start working.”

“Ivy.”

“I haven’t been gone for that long, and yet you’ve all slacked off as if you’re all on some freaking kind of vacation. What if we lose face in front of the Japanese crowd?”

“IVY!”

He flinched, and he saw Ivy do the same, the irritation she had felt and thrown his way dulled. It was rare for Yuni to raise her voice. She had even jumped to her feet.

“However pissed you are, whoever you are mad at, you have no right to land all pressure on Kirill. We _are_ working, and we _will_ be prepared for the filming of the PV next week. We’ve done this for more than ten years already.”

God bless Yuni. He hadn’t noticed himself how much tension Ivy’s words had caused in his muscles. Without Yuni, Ivy would have been able to boss around to her heart’s content – and would cheerfully do so. That’s why Yuni was such an important part of the group.

The “voice” of the female he had stopped to listen to had silenced now. He had felt her often the last few days. She amazed him. Yesterday afternoon had had him worried. Tremendous jealousy had caught her in its trap and he had so clearly felt her panic, fear and pain it had left him with nightmares.

But then this morning, the girl, if she was that – it was hard to tell how old she was – had decided upon something and managed to lift her spirits out of a pit of despair. Not many people would be able to manage that in such short space of time. The girl definitely stood out in a crowd.

He thought he knew who the girl was too. The first time he felt her emotions she had been distressed and tried to hide within herself. A weak shell. As soon as he had spoken to her it had shattered.

The girl who had guided them when they were lost. The girl inside the chicken costume that the same night had been caught up in a serious inner turmoil.

“Let’s just start over,” Ivy said, as usual refusing to apologize for anything. “Tell me my scores again.”

He exchanged a look with Yuni. Ivy would just never learn common politeness. It was below her dignity to say “please”.

 

* * *

 

Kyoko was stomping away, still angry but back straight, from her so-called friends trembling in a pathetic heap. Guys like them weren’t worth a second thought. And to think she had actually liked that lot.

She gritted her teeth, mumbling curses under her breath without noticing how people stepped out of her way.

“Whatever. I don’t need those idiots. Just a bunch of liars. I may have lost my job, but they didn’t have to abandon me that quickly.”

Was everyone from _Dark Moon_ feeling the same?

She stopped.

It was dangerous grounds, she knew, but she couldn’t avoid the thoughts. If _Bridge Rock_ were this fast to change – provided that they actually had changed and not pretended to like her all along – how much of the friendly aura on the _Dark Moon_ set had disappeared?

Kyoko shook her head. “No. They aren’t like that. In just a few days they will be finished filming as well and then we will all go to celebrate the success.”

The cell phone in her pocket went off and witnesses jumped as she vibrated along with the device.

“Ah, moshi, moshi. Mogami here.”

“Kyouko-san. Where are you?”

“Huh?” It sounded like the director of _Box ‘R’_.

“WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE AN HOUR AGO!”

Kyoko screamed all the way through the building to her bike. She had totally forgotten about _Box ‘R’_ in the midst of everything else. If things went on in this manner she would have to make a wallpaper of her schedule for the rest of her time in showbiz and examine it every night and morning. Moko-san had told her that the cell phone had a function that worked as a reminder, but she had yet to understand how that worked.

If she remembered correctly the set would be right outside of her own (former) high school, filming Natsu in the autumn after finishing school – though it was currently early spring.

Everybody was waiting for her when she made a rather dramatic appearance, flying over half the set and forcing staff and actors to throw themselves out of the way as she readjusted the bike so that she could use the rear-wheel for a more effective brake with shorter skidding. It was good she had such a good bike at least. She managed to stop just an inch before hitting into the director.

“I’m so... sorry... I forgot... today...”

The director looked down at her, clearly not pleased. He even had the aura of complete aggravation, like Kyoko was an eyesore he’d rather crush under his foot.

The assisting director helped her up and took the bike.

“Go get your make-up done, Kyouko-san. We don’t have all day.”

Dislike. Ill intentions. Kyoko could clearly feel them building up around her. The staff was most likely finished with all the preparations for the scene, and since Natsu would be the centre of the single scene they would shot today, they were all irritated with her. Now that she wasn’t filming for _Dark Moon_ , not working at _Totally Wild Rock_ , and all the strange rumours running wild, she had stooped down to the bottom of the showbiz society. So much for Love-Me.

But that surely wouldn’t stop her from doing a good job during the rest of her time. Today she was going to make the best scene Natsu had ever managed before.

“Kyouko-san, are you angry about something?”

She heard the words, but the one who looked out of her eyes was an indifferent Natsu. “Angry?”

The costume-manager recognized the look and said nothing more. Kyouko-san had proved time and again that once she entered a role she did it all out, and sometimes couldn’t even remember to listen to Kyouko-san’s name.

Preparing didn’t take more than twenty minutes and Natsu was already in the right state of mind when she walked to the bench where she would be sitting throughout the scene. The director had to admit he was surprised, but not enough to be at a loss of mind.

“Scene 67, test take.”

 

_Natsu sat there, hearing the voices of the past. Then Kaori arrived._

_“Natsu? What are you doing here?”_

_Kaori was dressed as an adult and had had a haircut._

_“I’m trying to remember some friends,” Natsu answered. “It feels like a long time... since we walked out of that building for the last time.”_

_“Yes. We have some pretty good memories from there. You want to talk about it?”_

_Natsu stared ahead. Kaori left._

_“Talk about what?”_

 

“And cut. Marumi, try to say your line more giddily. You too, Riku-san. Remember the same feeling you had for the scene, when your voice quivered like you were crying. Makino-san though, you must sound more indifferent.”

Kyoko sat still as a stone on the bench, listening to everything.

“Kyouko-san and Amamiya-san, keep it right up. If you can deliver it just like that for the main take it will be perfect.”

Amamiya Chiori nodded her head with eyes clear with concentration. Mogami Kyoko didn’t even blink. She was obviously in one of her moods when she had a hard time separating from the character’s feelings. This was a good trait of hers though, as an actress.

They tested the scene a couple of more times before they took a break while the director went over the changes with the assistant director.

After having been seated for so long without moving, Kyoko was glad to stand and walk around for a bit. This far it had been easy. All of them just had to talk with the right amount of feeling.

“Kyoko-san. Are you feeling okay?” Amamiya-san asked as she came up to her. “Considering how everything is.”

“Yes, don’t worry. I may not look much like it, but I’m pretty tough.”

Love-Me member no. 3 didn’t look very convinced. She leaned in and spoke lowly as they continued to walk.

“About that, somebody told the director you’ve been fooling around in places where you shouldn’t be.”

Kyoko blinked. “Fooling around” was a term she would never have associated with what she had been through the last few days. “What have I done now? Is it about that yesterday?”

“Is it true?” Amamiya-san said bewildered. “Did you really fuck the producer of _Totally Wild Rock_?”

If disgust had a face, Kyoko pulled it now, mixed with a lot of disbelief. Her mouth slowly fell open. “Haa?”

“You didn’t?”

“Of course not. The producer hates me! He wouldn’t touch me with a stick if his life depended on it.”

“Is it that bad? What did you do to make him hate you that much if you only appeared in the show yesterday?”

Kyoko opened her mouth first and blinked later, realizing what had just been said. Appearing in the show yesterday? She hadn’t even gone to set to see if her substitute was chosen yet or not. There must be some sort of miscommunication along the lines. As far as she was concerned, nobody knew Mogami Kyoko, Hongo Mio, Kitagawa Natsu, was also acting as the mascot, rooster Bou, in one of the most popular TV-shows right now.

“I didn’t appear in the show yesterday,” she told her friend bluntly, and there was no chance for anybody who listened to not believe in that. She may be an actress, but that line was too filled with utter surprise that it couldn’t be mistaken for acting.

Amamiya-san frowned in confusion. “You didn’t? But everybody behind the scenes is talking about how Kyoko got done by that guy.”

“Well, excuse me, but I’m not the only Kyoko in this industry, am I?”

“Uh, no. I guess you aren’t...” She would have said more if the director hadn’t called everybody back at that moment.

“Get ready for the main take. Everybody take your positions.”

The Love-Me girls shared another confused look and then took their places, Kyoko on the bench and Amamiya-san in the half-circle of people standing behind it.

“Scene 67, take 2. Action.”

 

_What am I doing here anyway? It’s not like anything will change. Well, mom and dad are expecting something from me. Like I care._

_“Natsu, I hate you!”_

_Likewise. And what are you going to do about it? Kill me? Come and try. I’m waiting. The world is boring without people who hates me, or people to have fun with. Why am I bothering to think?_

_“Kitagawa-san, I’m so happy you came.”_

_Humph, that stupid girl. It is humiliating that I never managed to break her. It didn’t matter what I did, she never gave up on that silly smile. Makes me wanna puke._

_“Have your way, Natsu, but I’m out of here.”_

_...Well Yumika, it’s not much of a surprise really, is it? You just can’t take a stumble in life. Even with me, you were never strong enough to make it through._

_“Natsu, stop. You’re overdoing it.”_

_Overdoing it? I don’t think I overdid anything. I was just so damn bored of all those people. Nobody would have noticed it if they died anyway. You have to admit it was a lot of fun, making them cry. Making them bleed. All of you should know level five games are my greatest enjoyment. I wish we could go back to that time._

_“What are you doing here, Natsu?”_

_Kaori? Where have you been all summer? You look different, grown up. I liked your hair better long. How could you have aged so fast? Are you as bored as I?_

_“I’m trying to remember some friends.” Well, they used to be, no telling what I feel about them today. “It feels like a long time... since we walked out of that building... We’ll never return to those days.”_

_“Yes... We have some pretty nice memories from that time. You want to talk about it?”_

_The wind is chilly. Winter is just around the corner I guess. Now is the time for dying. I can’t help but smile at that thought._

_“Talk about what?”_

 

“Cut. It’s good. Don’t move a muscle, Kyouko-san. We’ll now film the same route around you again without anybody behind you. Everyone but Kyouko-san leave the stage.”

Kyoko and everybody else obeyed silently. This was one of the hardest scenes just because of this; she wasn’t allowed to move a single muscle during the entire shooting. The director had said it was to overlap the images later, so that the people standing behind her would fade away, just like images of memories.

“Don’t sigh, Kyoko-san! One more time.”

Kyoko took the moment of preparations to swallow. Her mouth felt dry and she would love another break. Hopefully they were done soon so that she could get off this uncomfortable bench. It was giving her a feeling of soreness in her butt. But if she could sit still enough this time she would soon be able to move again.

“Much better but don’t move yet. Everybody move out of the way. We’re taking a shot from behind Kyoko-san.”

What was he saying?! It would take at least ten minutes before the set was completely emptied and she couldn’t move until they were finished shooting. Today was obviously doomed to be a bad day.

* * *

07:36 pm.

An odd guest arrived to Daruma-Ya. She was tall like a pole, lithely built and dressed simply in a pair of black khaki pants and a dark red sweater that brought out the intense green colour of her eyes. And she hadn’t dyed her hair in a while so her originally blonde hair was half brownish. Even the chef looked when she came up to the desk.

“Excuse me, but I’m looking for this girl, Mogami Kyoko. I heard she lives here.”

“She’s not in,” the chef said noncommittally. “You can leave a message.”

“That won’t do,” the woman said. “Do you know when she comes back?”

“When she’s done working,” the chef’s wife said.

“Alright then.” And the woman took a seat. “I’m hungry, so I will use the time to eat here.”

The owners of the restaurant exchanged a quick look before Okami-san smiled. “Of course. What would you like?”

“Fried chicken, please. With peanut sauce.”

The chef was quick to serve the order, and those strangely green eyes lit with delight. It was interesting to see her eat. While her cloths hinted to a wealthy person, she ate like she hadn’t seen food in a week.

“What business do you have with Kyoko-chan?” Okami-san asked curiously.

“Message,” the woman answered after swallowing. “I’m an agent of sort, so I must speak to her in person.”

“Oh... I’m sorry to say this, but if you are here to offer Kyoko-chan a job, she will not be able to accept it.”

“Oh, I know that,” the woman said with a wave of her hand. “Mogami Kyoko is one of the most famous celebrities right now, backstage.”

“What does that mean?”

The woman’s green eyes looked up while the jaws worked around another mouthful chicken and rice. “She never said?”

Now they had attention. The regular customers were eavesdropping to the point the woman should turn and glare at them.

“I shouldn’t say either then,” the woman said in a way to kill the tension. “It’s none of my business anyway.” She shrugged.

The chef felt cold shivers run down his spine. There was something cold about this woman, something that sent signals of warning. Though her face was innocent enough, those eyes were sharpened.

“Can I have ice cream for dessert?”

The owners looked to the empty plates and bowls. “Oh, of course. Just a moment.”

The ice cream disappeared just as fast as the food, along with two high glasses of water.

“Ah, that was wonderful. You are certainly the best cooks I’ve managed to find in this town.”

“Oh, that is an exaggeration,” Okami-san said with a modest smile.

“I’ve dug through them all, so I know what I’m talking about. You have a warm smile too, Okami-san, so the food tastes all that much better.”

Being praised happened every once in a while, but she had never been praised like this.

“And since I haven’t eaten since yesterday, it’s the perfect combination.”

Okami-san smiled. “Well, thank you very much.”

“You remind me of my mother. She had the same built as you, and made the world’s best Borsjtj.”

Everybody who was listening blinked.

“Borst?” Okami-san asked. “You mean the Russian beet soup?”

“Yup. Mother had about fifty different recipes, so it was never the same soup.”

“Oh... is that so?”

The woman looked around the restaurant, and everybody who had been eavesdropping became overly interested in their food. Okami-san knew that the woman would be the topic of the regulars once she was out of hearing.

“Is it too much to ask if I can wait in Mogami Kyoko’s room until she arrives? Sitting here and not eating makes me feel like I’m just taking up space.”

The couple behind the desk looked to each other. They had no idea who this woman was or what she was really after. She obviously didn’t know Kyoko-chan from work. But then again, there was little they knew about the people Kyoko-chan worked with.

“The third room to the right,” the chef said, nodding towards a door leading to the rest of the house. “Up the stairs.”

“Thank you very much. I appreciate your cooperation.”

There it was again. Those cold shivers.

“Wait ojou-san. Your name.”

“Kirra,” the woman answered over her shoulder before she disappeared.

After a moment of silence Okami-san frowned in confusion and went to check. Nobody in the kitchen or living area, and nothing seemed to be missing at first sight. She walked up the stairs, finding the door to Kyoko-chan’s room open, and the woman inside. She turned from looking at the daruma doll.

“Is this the wrong room?”

“No, it’s Kyoko-chan’s. We didn’t hear you in the stairs so... I’m sorry. Kyoko-chan may be in very late.”

“And I can wait.”

Okami-san, taken aback by the authority this woman emitted, nodded and returned to the restaurant.

Kirra, aka the Black Goddess, took another glance around the room. What she knew about Mogami Kyoko was that she was expressive to the extreme, liked fairies and princesses, and had arrived to Tokyo with a today hot name; Fuwa Sho. Mogami Kyoko had loved him, but on the wall in this room that without a doubt was hers was a poster and a screaming piece of paper saying “Kill Shotaro!”

“So that’s his real name,” Kirra muttered. Of course she had heard about the première of _Totally Wild Rock_ where Fuwa Sho had been the starring guest. And she had, unlike Fuwa’s fans, not forgotten about it.

Aside from the one-eyed daruma doll that had gotten her immediate attention, there wasn’t much in here, and the belongings the girl had were in a correct order. It brought a smile to her face, albeit a small one. She had been a teenager too once, with a bunch of sisters and a brother, and their rooms hadn’t been half as tidy as this one. That probably said it all about them.

She returned her stare to the daruma doll. Its single eye was enough to make her angry. Mogami Kyoko had dreams, but the doll wouldn’t have a second eye.

Since it was little she could do about it, since this was her job, Kirra sat down by the table, cross-legged, facing the door. She had two prides; the first was that she always finished a job. The second was waiting.

* * *

07:42 pm.

When Kyoko returned to L.M.E. and the Love-Me dressing room, she had developed a new hatred; against benches. She was convinced her butt was permanently flat from sitting on one for so long, and biking back had been a painful nightmare.

But in the dressing room was a sight that had her forget everything about stupid benches flatting out her butt. Moko-san was rehearsing.

“Moko-san! Are you finished for today?”

The other woman turned to face her. “Finished? What are you talking about? I have to film with Hiou-kun tonight.”

Kyoko smiled. Whenever Moko-san was talking about Hiou-kun, her eyes got that glint of respect that made her face brighter.

“It’s that drama, isn’t it? Is it far from done?”

“Yeah,” Moko-san answered. “The director is a moron, some of the actors too, so the filming has been delayed more than once. We’re way behind schedule.”

“Eeh?” Kyoko pitied Moko-san, just a little. She knew her friend usually had a hard time with people. Her best friend. She smiled. “But on the other hand you will have more time to spend with Hiou-kun, right?”

“What are you hinting at? Mo! You’re so annoying.”

One can say anything about Moko-san, but she was so cute, blushing and getting angry. Seeing through her indifference was hard sometimes, but not when it came to the boy actor. Kyoko smiled brightly. She was so happy that Moko-san was, albeit reluctantly and maybe unconsciously, walking in the right direction.

“What are you smiling about? Mo, you’re weird.”

“How mean. I’m just happy for you, Moko-san.”

“What is there to be happy about? I’ve been openly accused for having a thing with _you_.”

Kyoko blinked, then mirrored Moko-san’s disgust about that particular rumour, but with a shade of guilt mixed in.

“Well, I guess there was no way around it. We _were_ seen in an awkward position.”

The other girl made a sound, like she was trying to keep from throwing up. “I can’t believe it. Even if it did happen, why are people so hell bent on believing it?”

Once again Kyoko blinked and stared at her friend. It sounded, strange as it was, that Moko-san hadn’t heard any of the other rumours.

“Even Hiou-kun considered it as a possibility.”

Kyoko frowned, concerned and somewhere in her heart hurt. “Moko-san, do you... know what is said about me?”

“Hm? No. What is said about you?”

If you said A, you had to follow up with B. There was no way around that.

“That Kyoko-san is a whore and that it’s because of that she got the role as Mio, Natsu and now the lead as Aiko in that new movie.”

They both turned to the door where Amamiya-san stood with an indifferent expression. To Kanae, this was news. The most stupid and unbelievable news she had heard since she became a Love-Me.

“Who? The queen of modesty who dreams to get a fairy role and become a princess?”

Kyoko blushed. “Really, Moko-san. You don’t have to put it that way.”

“That’s just plain stupid. Mo. So that’s why they’re so ready to believe anything...” she turned to the girl she only thought of as her best friend, “involving you.”

“That’s pretty much it,” Amamiya-san answered. “But now tell me, Kyoko-san. If you weren’t the guest at _Totally Wild Rock_ yesterday, who was? And what really happened yesterday?”

The colour of Love-Me no. 1 changed from red to white to whiter to angry red within two seconds. She hadn’t told Moko-san about her mother yet, or that she was about to leave showbiz forever, and she couldn’t tell what happened yesterday without saying her mother was there.

“About the show yesterday, I don’t know who was there...”

“I could ask the same from you, Mogami-chan.”

She blinked. Hoshisawa-san. Her stage name was also “Kyoko”, but that couldn’t be... right? Even if Hoshisawa-san was acting strange and smiled in a way that gave her creeps and cold shivers, Kyoko hadn’t sensed any hatred or anger from her. Annoyance this noon, but nothing more than that.

It was probably just people talking, mistaking their similar names, even though they were written with different kanji.

But thinking that would mean that Hoshisawa-san actually had done... that kind of thing with the producer.

Kyoko shook her head. The rumour was probably just that; a rumour. Truth and rumours weren’t always the same thing. That was most certainly the case now.

“So...” Amamiya-san broke through by the end of that trail of thought. “What happened yesterday?”

“Eh...” What could she say now? She really didn’t want Moko-san to know about her mother. She would have to tell her sooner or later, since she was quitting, but she was far from mentally prepared yet.

“Uh, the rumours. Well, Tsuruga-san gave me a ride, but when we were seen walking together... Tsuruga-san’s fans... separated us.”

That was true. No need to spice the story with all the glory details.

“That’s it?” Moko-san asked, disbelieving.

“Y-yes. That’s it.”

The taller girl took a hold of Kyoko’s chin and turned her head to the side. The blond girl was surprised to feel long fingers in her hair, and a sting of pain.

“So why do you have a bruise here?”

Crap! Kyoko knew she was missing a few hairs, them being the first thing attacked, but she hadn’t known it would bruise.

“Um, I guess... the separation was rather violent.”

Kanae frowned. This girl was leaving things out. It made her angry.

“Fine. I have to go now. See you later.”

Kyoko stared after her with mixed feelings. Moko-san didn’t like spending time with her family, but she was loved without having to fight for it.

Maybe, that’s why she had a hard time loving; Moko-san was overly loved.

“So,” Amamiya-san started. “What are you going to do now?”

“Now? I think... I don’t have any more work to do, so I might as well head home.”

“Don’t you have cram school?”

Ouch.

“I quit school.”

* * *

08:10 pm.

President Lory Takarada put the phone down for the fifteenth time that night. Mogami-kun seemingly refused to answer today.

He was worried, and angry with himself.

“President, have you found her yet?” Sawara-kun asked when he entered the room.

“Not yet.”

“I’m keeping an eye on the rumours and Kyoko-chan’s mother. Have you heard the last one?”

“Which one?”

“A Kyoko appeared in _Totally Wild Rock_ last night, and afterwards she went to... um, ah. She went to screw the producer. I looked it up, and there were two witnesses, female supervisors coming to inform the producer about the instant reactions about the new Bou.”

“Is Kyoko her full stage name?”

“Yes. I believe that’s why, with the currently running rumours, our Kyoko-chan was the first one people thought of when they heard ‘Kyoko and the producer are screwing!’ as the women screamed.”

Lory sighed and picked up the phone to try again. It rang three times.

“Moshi, moshi. This...”

“MOGAMI-KUN! WHY AREN’T YOU PICKING UP THE PHONE?! I’VE BEEN TRYING TO CALL YOU ALL DAY!”

Sawara stepped back by the force of the president’s outburst. He felt sorry for Kyoko-chan. Her ears probably hurt now, getting that roar straight into her ear.

“Mogami-kun?” Lory blinked. There were some strange sounds on the other end. Then he heard the girl’s unsteady voice.

“President, I’m on my way home already.”

“Then turn around and head back, I must talk to you. Now.”

“But...”

Lory used his deepest tone of voice. “Mogami-kun.”

“...I’m on my way.”

* * *

08:15 pm.

Kyoko-chan wasn’t back yet. Upstairs the green-eyed woman was still waiting. Okami-san wondered just how long she would wait before she got impatient and left. The better part of her wanted that to happen.

“Calm down,” her husband mumbled when her gaze once again flickered to the back of the kitchen.

“I can’t help it. We have a stranger sitting in Kyoko-chan’s room. She never had friends over before.”

That, her husband thought, was a good thing. One of Kyoko-chan’s most admirable habits.

“Is there something wrong with Kyoko-chan?” yet another regular asked. Okami-san assumed that her worry was visible in her face.

“No. Nothing at all,” she tried to say with a calming smile, but judging from their faces she failed. “She’s just had some personal troubles with work lately.”

And that was the understatement of the year.

* * *

08:19 pm.

Kyoko sat in one of the sofas in president Lory Takarada’s office, fidgeting. She wondered about his intentions this time. You couldn’t help but worry when it was the president himself that called you out.

“Mogami-kun. There is something I’d like you to tell me.”

She looked up, hoping against hope that it wasn’t what she already knew he would ask about. That soft, serious tone of voice she had only heard him use once.

“Can you please tell me the truth about your past; your mother, and why you came to Tokyo?”

As expected, but it was a story she hadn’t even told Moko-san. Or Tsuruga-san. From when her mother left she hadn’t ever spoken of her, except for when Okami-san and boss asked, because they had the right to know. And she had only told the summery. The president wouldn’t go with that.

“Mogami-kun.”

She glanced sideways towards another eager listener. Sawara-san sat in a chair with a frown of concern in his forehead. He had been kind, said he was proud of her sometimes, and scolding her whenever she was accused for whatever.

“Look at me.”

The president was dressed in a shirt and sober pants. All the more reason to worry. His eyes, usually shining whatever mood he was in, were dark.

“I’m doing this so that I can help you, at least be able to offer it.”

She swallowed. “You can’t help me with anything,” she tried.

“Please tell me, Mogami-kun.”

That was her last stand of defence. The president was probably just as persistent as she.

“Mother... left me.”

Silence. The two men were waiting for her to continue. Her throat felt tight.

“Right before I turned seven... my mother left me... to work, I suppose.”

“How did she treat you?”

These were memories she tried hard to forget even though she knew it was impossible. Her mother always swatting her hands away.

“She always thought... that I was a... failure. I’m dumb... and stubborn...”

Lory frowned as a cold feeling settled in his chest. Had Mogami-dono actually said those things to her own daughter?

“And then you stayed... where?”

Kyoko refused to look up, keeping her gaze steadily on her hands. The same hands that had never been allowed to touch their mother’s.

“I grew up with a friend, and spent a lot of time at his place. When mother left, his mother came and picked me up, saying I could come live with them until mother came back, but they never heard from her again.”

“And that friend was Fuwa Sho?”

She flinched, giving herself away. But it wasn’t that hard to guess. Whenever she met Sho, even more so when they were fighting, somebody would ask if the two of them were (still) going out, leading to her and Sho denying and saying they were only childhood friends. It wasn’t hard to put the pieces together.

Sawara was listening with growing pity. But now he was also confused.

“But Kyoko-chan. If you were a friend of Fuwa Sho’s why would you join our agency, if it was him you wanted to be near?”

“Sho is the cause of my not being able to love,” Kyoko hissed, darkness growing around her. “After using me for a year he dared to call me a plain, boring girl with no sex appeal.”

“Using you?”

The darkness of rage turned into one of doom. She hadn’t intended to let that slip.

The president’s blood was running cold as his worst suspicions one after one turned out to be justified.

“Mogami-kun,” he started, but got a burning glare, filled with years of frustration and anger, to silence him.

“Yes, it’s exactly as you think. I entered showbiz in order to get revenge on Fuwa Sho.”

The two men stared at her, but she wasn’t done.

“I know your opinion already, but you don’t know anything. I’ve tried to love many different people only to be met by a turned back. I gave away everything, all of me, to be with that scum. To be loved by him, but my feelings never came across. They never do. Not to mother whom I could never touch, not to Sho whom I spent almost my entire life taking care of and looking after. My efforts of trying to be loved are all in vain, isn’t that glaringly obvious? That’s why I decided to never love another person again. Never give away anything, never sacrificing my own happiness only to be near some idiot who only sees me as a tool!”

A sharp sound echoed in the room. Sawara flinched and stared at his superior. It had never crossed his thoughts that the president would raise a hand against another human.

Lory Takarada’s face was just as furiously red as Kyoko’s.

“Mogami-kun, that’s quite enough. You’ve only been unfortunate to have the wrong kind of people around you. Just because they never made an effort to love it doesn’t give you the right to believe everybody will feel the same about you.”

"MY OWN MOTHER HATES ME! JUST WHO CAN LOVE ME WHEN SHE CAN’T?!"

Mogami Kyoko’s face. Lory Takarada’s. Sawara didn’t know which one of them was more hurt. The girl showed herself out but the president didn’t move for a long time.

“President...”

With a sigh Lory went back to his place on the sofa and pinched the bridge of his nose. Sawara didn’t know what to say. It was the first time he had seen this man so weary.

“I really screwed that one up, didn’t I?” Lory sighed again. “It seems like, from the very beginning, I attacked the problem from the wrong end.”

* * *

08:57 pm.

Finally the prey was on her way home. Kirra smiled to herself. That had been a very interesting. She hadn’t heard anything of course, that being out of her range of ability, but the colourful auras of personality and mood swings made up for that. Right now the prey, Mogami Kyoko, was trying to choke her feelings.

In her business it was bad to know your prey’s feelings, and even more so to acknowledge them. But this was a sense Kirra had had since birth, not something she could suppress with sheer willpower.

She opened her eyes, that sixth sense focused mostly on the conflicting colours of her prey, and glanced at the wall with the posters. “Kill Shotaro!”, “Defeat Tsuruga Ren!”

Maybe she was about to do just that.

* * *

08:59 pm.

The last costumers had left and the closing procedure was at hand. Okami-san left her husband to check on the green-eyed guest upstairs. She hadn’t moved at all.

“Excuse me, ojou-san, but we’re closing now.”

“I know,” Kirra said calmly. “I’ll only wait for another ten minutes.”

Okami-san hesitated, but figured it was just as well. Ten minutes was okay.

* * *

09:03 pm.

It was dark out. The sky was concealed behind black clouds giving threatening promises of heavy rain. As Kyoko made her way home thunder made her already crashing heart shudder. She sighed. Today had been a long bad day. Realizing _Bridge Rock’s_ true feelings, coming in late to the _Box ‘R’_ set, realizing there was another rumour running around, getting her butt flattened by a stupid bench, upsetting Moko-san, and last but certainly not least, making enemies with the L.M.E. president. That had been completely uncalled for. She hadn’t intended to say anything but in the end everything had spilled. Maybe she really was the idiot her mother had called her by.

* * *

09:05 pm.

The female owner of restaurant Daruma-Ya kept close attention to the ticking minutes. Only five minutes left before the woman in Kyoko-chan’s room would leave and she could get some peace of mind.

* * *

09:07 pm.

The pray was just around the corner now. Waiting like this was really exciting. This would be the first time she faced a prey head on. She couldn’t help but quiver from the suspense.

* * *

09:09 pm.

Kyoko parked her bike outside the back door of the restaurant. It was closed by now, but maybe she should help with the cleaning and preparations for tomorrow. That she had done a hundred times already, so at least that wouldn’t end in disaster.

* * *

09:10 pm.

Okami-san sighed with relief and walked up the stairs. She was halfway up when she heard the door open.

“I’m back.”

“Kyoko-chan!” Why did she have to come in the last second?

“Do you need any help?”

The girl looked weary. Her skin was pale and she had shadows under her eyes.

Thunder rolled over their heads and the lamps blinked.

“Kyoko-chan. You have a guest.”

“Who? Moko-san?”

Kyoko-chan was moving towards her and the staircase with her eyes just a little brighter.

“She said her name is Kirra.”

“Huh? Who is that?”

“An agent of sorts she said, and that she had business with you.”

Another roll of thunder and the lights died. The chef grunted and picked out candles from a drawer and lit them. He gave one to Kyoko-chan.

“The guest is waiting in your room.”

* * *

09:16 pm.

The darkness was complete. Apparently the street lights had died as well. Not that it made any difference to her. She felt better in the dark. Outside the rain was coming down hard and the thunder was so loud she could feel the earth tremble with the force.

The door opened and spread a soft, orange light over the room, highlighting the young face of Mogami Kyoko.

She smiled. “Good evening, Mogami-san.”

* * *

09:32 pm.

Kyoko’s boss looked up at a shadow coming down the stairs. It wasn’t Kyoko-chan.

“Are you finished?” he asked.

“Yes.” Her answer was light and she was smiling, but the candlelight reflected in a pair of cold eyes. “I’m done now.”

Her movements were swift on her way towards the back door.

“Take care,” she said and disappeared.


	12. Morning

Yuni and Malin awoke with a start when somebody banged on their door.

“Yuni! Yuni, help! You must come!”

“Kirill,” Yuni started, alarmed by the hysteria in the younger man’s voice.

Malin looked to the clock as Yuni went to open the door. “But we just went to bed.”

Outside Yuni found a trembling wreck. She quickly, carefully, pulled him inside. Malin came over to help.

“What is it?” Yuni demanded slowly. In this state of mind Kirill could only understand simple words.

“There’s a hole! A black hole. She’s dying. She’ll eat me.”

“Calm down. Nobody will eat you.”

Kirill clung to Yuni’s small body like she was a last anchor to his life or sanity. Malin watched, prepared. She didn’t think Kirill would ever try to harm Yuni, but it was hard to tell with his brute strength. Yuni was only a fragile child in Kirill’s arms.

The little woman settled on the bed with the man on the floor, still holding onto her.

“Nobody will hurt you,” Yuni assured.

“She’s going to die.”

“Who is going to die?”

“That girl. Her emotions are drowning. She’s dying. A black hole.”

Malin made a gesture but Yuni shook her head. Hitting Kirill unconscious was not an option.

“What happened?”

“Fear,” Kirill tried to explain. “There was someone there. She was afraid. Then she panicked. She panicked.”

Yuni patted his head and hushed. The sound had Malin think of the wind playing with leaves. That was probably the intention too. Kirill relaxed a little.

“I heard… voices.”

Yuni looked up and caught Malin’s eye shortly.

“Not clearly, but I heard them. Voices. M-memories. There was a little girl, and a back… two backs… C-c… chaos…”

Yuni hushed again. For a long moment it was all that was heard.

“Everything… died. There was… a black hole, reaching out. She was… trying… reaching… She… she was trying to… feel… feel… anything…”

The drummer continued to hush until Kirill fell asleep, still clutching to her like a child. Malin sat on the opposite bed, watching with a frown. Yuni matched the anxiety in her eyes.

“This has never happened before,” Yuni whispered at last. “Are his powers growing?” She looked up into the purple orbs of her best friend. “Or is that girl such a broadcaster Kirill can’t hide?”

“I can’t tell, Yuni. This is almost as bad as when I found him.”

The model nodded. “That’s exactly it. Back then, who knows how many crying hearts he was hearing? This is only one person.”

“More still; Kirill has worked hard on his shields since.”

They looked at each other.

“What are we dealing with now?”

 

* * *

 

Fuwa Sho awoke to a normal day, he thought. Shoko-san dragged him out of bed, he munched down some breakfast and then headed to the shower. Today’s schedule included two magazine interviews, four photo shots, whereof one for the cover of the new single with _The dead Saints_. Asami-san had managed to get a hold of Japan’s top designer Polnoch Sana – leave it to her to manage something like that – who would have time, about thirty minutes, by lunch to come and take their measures.

“Oh, and they called me last night about the talk-show at TBM,” Shoko-san informed as they made it to the car. “It’s cancelled because of Matsunai Ruriko. She was supposed to appear tomorrow, but there was a miscommunication, and the staff gave her your time. We’re going there the day after tomorrow instead.”

“Okay. When is practice?”

“Immediately after the interviews and to noon when Polnoch-sensei is coming. She is extremely busy and only has her lunchtime over for us.”

“I must ask Asami-san how she managed to persuade her to take the job.”

Shoko-san just hummed.

 

* * *

 

Tsuruga Ren was always early out of bed. Washing the tiredness out of his face he dressed casually in pants and a shirt. The first half of today he would spend in the south of town, the second at _Dark Moon_. Today, Katsuki would act for the last time.

Mogami-san had finished her scenes only days before, and next week everything would be done and the quiz- and talk shows would fight to the death for the first interview with the main staff. Mogami-san would be included in that staff.

Skipping breakfast, though hearing the girl’s scolding voice in the back of his head, he went to his car and to pick up Yashiro-san.

“Good morning Ren,” the manager greeted as he fastened the seatbelt. “Did you get a hold of Kyoko-chan yesterday?”

The concern threatened to choke him. “No.”

Yashiro-san frowned, worried, but not on the same level. “Kyoko-chan. I hope she is all right. It seems like everything is suddenly working against her.”

Oh, the new rumours. Ren knew for a fact it was about another Kyouko. Mogami Kyoko wouldn’t let a man touch her without protesting until all of Tokyo heard her. Thinking about it more than that led to unwelcome thoughts. Ren had to concentrate on today’s work.

 

* * *

 

Mogami Saena was up early, excited about the new job she had for today. After all, it wasn’t every day she designed for Fuwa Sho. This would be the first time she met him since he was a boy. He probably didn’t even remember her. Saena wondered if his face was as perfect in reality as in all the pictures. As a human face it was bound to have some sort of flaw, like faint freckles, scars or traces of pimples.

The other part of the job she had mixed feelings on. They were the Russian rock stars, _The dead Saints_. She knew little more than what was commonly known about them; the lead singer was the only male, the background singer was only a little girl but with a great voice, the keyboarder was blind. Of course there was Queen, the international supermodel and drummer of the band. The woman with the powerful blue eyes. Saena was over the top about the chance to design a set of cloths for them, at the same time she dreaded meeting them.

Finishing her breakfast made of porridge and green tea she walked to her studio where she had to pick up her drawings and head straight for an ad meeting.

On her desk lay a piece of black paper. Handwritten red letters were written on it, in Russian.

Я сделала своё дело

She had no idea what it said. But the red on black sent her thoughts to the Black Goddess.

Saena put the paper in her pocket.

 

* * *

 

The owners of Daruma-Ya awoke to the usual ringing from their alarm clocks. They dressed and went down to prepare breakfast. Okami knocked on Kyoko’s door as she passed it.

“Raise and shine, Kyoko-chan.”

She prepared the breakfast as her husband checked the light that had finally come back and then went to take in the newspaper. Nothing of this was out of the ordinary.

“Kyoko-chan, breakfast is ready,” Okami called up the stairs. However, there was no sound of movement. Come to think of it, Kyoko-chan’s room had been completely silent this morning. “Kyoko-chan?”

She went upstairs and knocked on Kyoko’s door again. “Kyoko-chan? Are you there?”

No answer. Worried Okami opened the door and found the room empty.

“Did she leave early?”

This was strange. Kyoko-chan always told them if she was going to be away, mostly because she worked in the restaurant. The room was clean, but on the table was a piece of paper. It looked like a list. Okami bent over to read it.

*Moko-san

*Okami-san and boss

*Tsuruga-san

*President ?

*Yashiro-san

*Amamiya-san

*Bridge Rock X

*Director Ogata-san

*Momose-san

*Oohara-san

*Shiva-san

*

A list of people? Okami read it again. Moko-san was Kyoko-chan’s best friend. They had met briefly on the Happy Grateful party. Okami-san and Boss was her and her husband. Tsuruga-san must be The Tsuruga Ren. President she didn’t know, or why it had a question mark after it. Two names she didn’t know, and then the only name that was probably for a group that was the only one on the list that had an X mark.

Just what had Kyoko-chan meant with this? The last star must mean that it was supposed to be longer.

Straightening her back Okami shrugged her shoulders. Kyoko-chan would probably come back later today, or call. She was scheduled to work tonight after all.

With that comforting thought she went down to have breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is appreciated :)


	13. The voice of Nothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lecchan is Sho and Shoko's more affectionate name for Elexa, in case I haven't mentioned it before. Right now I have trouble remembering what's already happened in this or any of the other stories I'm writing. Depression can seriously mess with your head ;_;

L.M.E president Lory Takarada was early today, but he was known to be once in a while. When he walked through the corridors people usually turned or stepped out of the way because he had some rare animal with him. The reason people turned around, stopped and stared today was because their president was soberly dressed.

“Sir, are you not feeling well?” the secretary asked once she realized it wasn’t a guest that walked through the outer office.

“I can still work,” the man said curtly and passed her.

She stared after him. Wide-eyed, worried. The president always greeted her wholeheartedly, sometimes exaggeratedly. Never with only a few words. And what was up with his boring, grey suit. The president hated grey! Everything that made the word “Dull” enter the mind was a big no-no for the L.M.E president.

She picked up her cell-phone and stared at it. This was a very serious matter, but who could she call to ask for help and advice?

 

* * *

 

“You are worrying the secretary,” Sebastian scolded him. The president sighed.

“I will have to apologize to her later. Before I solve this mess with Mogami-kun... I can’t sleep properly.”

Sebastian stood back. Mogami-kun. Since yesterday she was bound to be on Lory’s mind, after hurling something like that straight into his face.

_"MY OWN MOTHER HATES ME! JUST WHO CAN LOVE ME WHEN SHE CAN’T?"_

 It had been like an announcement, a mirror of the wounded heart that already knew her mother wouldn’t love her no matter what. And for Lory Takarada, a man who breathed love with every pore of his being, it was equal to torture.

The phone clicked.

“President. Mogami Kyoko is here.”

In an instant the man was through the door, facing a sleep-deprived Love-Me member. Her eyes were stuck on the floor and the moment he stood before her she bowed.

“I want to apologize... for my rude behaviour last night. I am ashamed... that I let out my feelings at you in the way I did. I’m... so very sorry.”

Something was wrong. Mogami-kun’s voice. Her stance. She stood still as a statue, pale as marble, and waited for his words.

“Come in and talk to me,” Lory ordered.

If he had hoped Mogami-kun would look up at him he got disappointed. Her eyes stayed fixed on the floor, mostly covered from view by her hair. When offered tea she silently accepted, but never lifted the cup to drink. Lory lightened his pipe and puffed on it.

“Why would you say your mother doesn’t love you?”

For a long time the room was silent. The smoke from Lory’s pipe swayed silently in the air, nothing else moved.

“I knew...” Mogami-kun started. Her voice was low, weary. “I knew... for a long time. My mother... my mother has never loved me. If she ever did, I don’t know... I can’t remember.”

_“Even parents can hate their own children.”_

Lory shook his head. The belief that he could help flew out the window. He didn’t know what to do with this girl. She wasn’t like Ren where he could predict everything. This wasn’t about work either, which made Mogami-kun even more unpredictable. Lory knew too little.

“But,” he started, carefully watching the girl’s face, “your mother isn’t the one who hates you the most, is she?”

Her eyes widened and her already pale face whitened even more.

“I... I don’t know... what you’re talking about.”

 

* * *

 

If Shoko had to describe the situation with one word, she would say; troublesome. Kirill had gotten ill overnight, Ivy, the keyboarder, was pissed – and Shoko was learning that you don’t cross paths with a pissed Ivy – the gentle Yuni Sky was on edge, Lecchan was stressed and Malin-kun tired. It was pretty safe to say practice time was screwed.

Ivy hollered something with a demanding voice. The keyboarder didn’t know Japanese, and unlike Yuni-chan she didn’t make an effort to learn, and now the two of them stood yelling at each other. Shoko could as well be deaf. It was annoying to be unable to understand.

“What’s going on?” Sho asked as he came back from taking a leak.

“I think it has something to do about Kirill-san being ill," Shoko responded with a displeased pout.

Sho sighed and then looked down. Lecchan was clinging to his legs. It still surprised Shoko that her charge was so popular with the girl. Sho continued to surprise his manager by kneeling down to Lecchan’s level and allow her to hide with him.

“What’s the matter, Lecchan?” Sho asked. “What are they fighting about?”

“Ivy’s mad,” the girl said.

“I can see that. Yuni-kun is angry too.”

“Only because Ivy is angry. Yuni never gets angry by herself.”

Shoko bent down. “Lecchan, does this have anything to do with Kirill-san’s absence?”

The girl wiggled a little and hid her face in Sho’s shoulder before locking her arms around his neck. If Sho felt uncomfortable you couldn’t tell, but he made no movement to pry the girl off of him. Shoko stared at him.

“What?”

“Nothing.” She straightened her back. “But this is a problem. We can still practice, but not until those two calm down.”

Lecchan mumbled something into Sho’s shoulder.

“She said Ivy-san won’t calm down,” Sho told his manager.

Fuwa Sho sighed. This was really a problem. Polnoch Sana would be here in only two hours and they hadn’t even gotten started. There were a lot of things he could think of to do instead of waiting for the heat to cool down.

And Malin-kun had said Ivy-san was the one keeping them on track.

“I knew Elexa and Zoya liked you, but never thought it was mutual,” a weary voice said above him and he looked up into Malin-kun’s purple orbs.

“What of it?”

“Nothing really. You just don’t hit me as...” she scratched her neck, “the brotherly type, so to say.”

Sho scowled at her. What kind of person would he be if he tried to avoid all human contact?

“Why don’t you do something about those two?” he asked her back.

“No thank you. Ivy would run all over me. At least Yuni is an irresistible wall Ivy can bang her head bloody against.”

That didn’t really make sense to either listener.

“So what are they fighting about?” Sho asked.

Malin-kun sighed heavily. “It started out with Ivy getting worked up because Kirill is unwell and can’t come. Then she wanted to ask someone to bring Kirill here, regardless what state he is in, an action that naturally got Yuni angry. Right now they’re fighting because they have different opinions.”

“If this goes on it will be all over the news,” Shoko mumbled to herself, biting her thumbnail.

“Oh, that wouldn’t be the first time,” Malin-kun stated with a casual wave of her hand. “That Ivy and Yuni are at each other’s throats is well-known already. The two of them just can’t agree on anything. Anything but music that is.”

Malin-kun sure took this lightly, Sho thought. Lecchan was on the verge of tears and rocking from side to side. He followed in her movement, absentmindedly patting her back.

“So they won’t go overboard?” Shoko asked nervously. The fighting women looked about ready to tear each other to shreds. Even Ivy-san who had her eyes bandaged.

“That’s what we’re waiting for.”

The Japanese couple stared at her.

“We are waiting for what?” Shoko demanded.

“We’re waiting for them to go over the top.”

Shoko’s mouth hung open. “Are we actually waiting for them to start fighting?!” she squeaked.

“Of course not,” Malin-kun said with a scrunched up nose. “They’re almost there. See for yourself and you’ll know what I mean.”

Sho’s manager held her breath when both fighting parts suddenly stopped yelling and draw a deep breath.

Malin-kun said something with a pleading voice and Ivy-san nodded curtly. Lecchan released her grasp of Sho’s neck and dared a glance at them. She didn’t protest when Sho stood back up.

Yuni-kun spoke English with Sho. “We will keep rehearsing. Kirill is a very capable musician, so he’ll have no trouble catching up. You have the lyrics finished?”

“Almost. Some adjustments only.”

Yuni looked at him. “What language are you using?”

“English. Malin-kun is helping with the grammar.”

“Good. There is nothing I hate more than people trying to sing in a language they haven’t mastered.”

Yuni-kun surely wasn’t as gentle as the first impression had implied. Sho begun to realize why Malin-kun had called her an “irresistible wall”.

The rest of practice passed by more or less smoothly. Ivy-san snapped at him sometimes, always in Russian, but Malin-kun was always there to translate and help him out. Since this was the first time Sho worked together with another band, even his unlimited patience – which he only had when working with his music – was running thin. Big Boss Ivy would never be his favourite person. Everything had to be the way she wanted it, and she wouldn’t listen to anybody else’s opinion until Yuni-kun barked at her.

After two hours Sho was almost ready to admit he was exhausted.

Lunch time came with a knock on the door.

“Excuse me, Fuwa-san. Polnoch Sana is here.”

“Perfect.” Just what he needed, and right on time too.

Japan’s no. 1 designer pushed her way inside with a bag, paper rolls and a measuring tape under one arm and the other hand occupied with a paper cup of what smelled like coffee. Behind her trailed a plain person who became a shadow of the designer.

“I came as fast as I could. Am I late?” she asked.

Shoko had often gotten compliments from different directions about how fashionable she was, and she had always been careful with her appearance. But she would never be noticed beside Polnoch Sana.

The woman had silky black hair, stylishly tied back in a knot, dark brown eyes and wearing only lip-gloss, mascara and a golden coloured eye-shadow that went perfect with her skin. The business dress she wore was probably especially made for her since it highlighted her shapes in a way Shoko had only seen on foreign supermodels in magazines, and she knew those pictures were edited. This woman was a supermodel in herself, flawless to the naked eye. A woman you notice.

Sho couldn’t understand why there was a bell ringing in the back of his head.

“Not at all, Mrs Polnoch,” Yuni-kun greeted and held out her hand. “Thank you for taking time.”

The designer handed the cup to the woman standing behind her, put her bag and rolls on a nearby chair and wholeheartedly shook hands with the little woman. Her English was almost as flawless as her appearance.

“I am honoured to have been assigned for this, Queen.”

“Not here. Right now I am only Yuni Sky. If you’re gonna use my last name, please use -kun.”

“Of course.”

The rest of the Russian team greeted her and introduced themselves.

“Shouldn’t there be one more of you?”

“There is,” Malin-kun said. Sho believed it was in respect for Yuni-kun and Ivy-san that she spoke English as well. “Unfortunately he is not feeling very well right now. I have his measures though. I took them this morning, so they are fresh. I hope they will do.”

Malin-kun handed a folded paper to the Japanese designer who controlled them.

“They’re good,” she smiled and gave the paper to her assistant, as the woman in her shadow probably was. “I suppose you have had some great designers assigned to you before.”

“I’m not only the band’s manager, but Yuni’s as well. Such small a model as her must have her measures taken every two days.”

“It’s not that bad,” Yuni-kun stated fiercely. “By the way, don’t you already have my measures?” she asked the designer.

“Not for myself, no.” Then Polnoch-san turned to face them all. “Alright then. I don’t have much time so we better get started. Who wants to go first?”

Malin-kun cast a glance at the band’s youngest member who was still clinging onto Sho’s leg. “How about we start with the smallest and go up.”

Polnoch-san approved and turned to Yuni-kun who immediately stepped back with her hands up.

“I may be small, but I’m not smallest!” she protested.

“Polnoch-san,” Sho spoke up cautiously. “The smallest one is down here.”

The young girl hid further behind his legs. It surprised Shoko that she suddenly was shy. Lecchan had hit her as the most straightforward one.

Yuni-kun sat on her knees and called Lecchan to her. The girl rushed into her arms. After whispering to each other for a moment Lecchan turned around and held her arms out wide.

“Good girl,” Polnoch-san smiled and started.

Shoko had seen designers take measures before, but not as swiftly as Polnoch-san. She wondered quietly how the assistant could keep up. She never stopped scribbling on her notepad.

“No low necks for Elexa,” Yuni-kun demanded once the girl’s measures were taken. “Don’t ask why.”

Polnoch-san, who had opened her mouth, closed it again and nodded. She spoke Japanese with her assistant.

“Sign it, Karin-chan. No low neck for this one.”

The plain woman made a note and changed sheet. Polnoch-san stood in front of Yuni-kun and wrapped the measuring tape around her neck.

“34. Oh and I got started with some ideas for designs using the instructions I got from Fuwa-kun’s producer. 9. Please take a look at them. 11.”

The bell in Sho’s head rang again, and he still couldn’t understand why.

Ivy-san stood motionless, the black bandage for her eyes showing how white her skin was and her lips were pressed together.

“No bare stomachs,” was Malin-kun’s first demand when she opened one of the paper rolls.

Sho turned and was surprised to see Malin-kun’s face almost angry. No bare stomachs? Polnoch-san stared too. Then turned to her assistant.

“Sign that too, Karin-chan. No bare stomachs.”

The Japanese star looked over Malin-kun’s shoulder. The charts were drawn by hand and looked good enough to him. He had personally never been involved in that part of the business. Asami-san took care of all that. The cloths for his debut had been her idea as well, and look where that had taken him. So he trusted her judgement.

“Next,” Polnoch-san called.

Sho turned and saw Yuni-kun walk up to where he and Malin-kun stood. Polnoch-san was an experienced pro. He had never seen anyone work as fast as she.

“Malin,” the little woman ordered and took her place looking at the charts. Malin-kun answered something with a mumble. Yuni-kun nodded.

“Mrs. Polnoch. Is it okay with you if I take Ivy’s measures?”

“I rather do it myself. 35. I can accept the ones you gave me only because... 9. The last member is a man?” Malin-kun nodded. “13. Because he isn’t present.”

“Ivy won’t let you touch her.”

Polnoch-san looked up. “Excuse me?”

“Right, Ivy?”

All Japanese turned towards the blind woman, who by now was as white as a sheet aside from a dust of red on her cheeks. Her lips were so tightly pressed together her mouth was only a thin line.

“Let Malin do it,” she said stiffly.

Shoko watched the designer nervously. She might be offended and quit the project. But to her relief Polnoch-san agreed with a surprised; “Hai.”

“You want me to give you the numbers in Japanese? Since Mrs. Polnoch does,” Malin asked Polnoch-san’s assistant.

The woman blinked, and then opened her mouth hesitantly. “You shouldn’t bother.”

Her English was like a high school girl’s.

“I know Japanese quite well,” Malin said with her perfect change of language. The woman by her waist looked up in surprise.

“I’m sorry,” Polnoch-san said, returning to her native tongue. “I thought...”

“Please speak English,” the bassist sighed, back to English herself. “Yuni and Ivy, especially Ivy, don’t like to not understand.”

About that, Shoko had to agree.

“How come you can swift language like that?” Sho asked. He had wanted to know for a while, but now seemed like the perfect moment to ask.

“My mother was Egyptian but my dad was Japanese.”

Sho stared. “So what are you doing in a Russian band?”

“One thing lead to another. Yuni is a double nationality too.”

“Yes,” the drummer said and looked up from the charts where she was busy making notes. “My mother was Scottish and my old man is Swedish. I must visit him once a year though, otherwise he would never have let me out of the house to work overseas.”

“So your old man is still alive?” Sho asked unthinking.

“Oh, your parents are alive and kicking as well, Fuwa-kun. I’m done.”

Fuwa Sho turned his head to a smiling Polnoch Sana. “Pardon?”

“Oh, before I forget. I have a letter from your mother in my bag.”

Shoko stared. Sho stared even more. Malin-kun’s voice where she began to take Ivy-san’s measures drowned in the tsunami of confusion that washed over Fuwa Sho entirely.

“Here it is,” the woman said in triumph after rumbling around in her bag for some time.

Polnoch Sana, Japan’s top designer and national treasure, handed him a slightly worn letter addressed to Fuwa Shotaro with his mother’s typical old-fashioned handwriting. He could only stare.

“Fuwa-kun?”

He looked up into the unfamiliar dark eyes. “How do you know my mother?”

“She and I are old friends,” the woman smiled and waved with her hand. “But I have been working so much the past years I haven’t had the time to see her. I visited her when I was in Kyoto for work last summer. That’s when she gave me this. _In case you meet him_ , she said.”

The bell was ringing loudly, but the pieces just wouldn’t fit together.

“I’m done,” Malin-kun interrupted.

“Perfect. Fuwa-kun is the last one. Karin-chan, how much time do we have? 40.”

The assistant took a quick check on her watch in between scribbling down numbers. “Thirteen minutes.”

“We’ll have to hurry then. I must attend to another meeting right away after this.”

“And Sho has a photo shot, so we must leave soon as well.”

There was a rustle of paper as Yuni and Malin rolled up the charts.

“We’ve made all the notes of changes and anything else straight on the papers, complete with arrows and circles.”

“Oh, perfect. That will make my job much easier. Thank you.”

All this passed through Sho’s head, but nothing was recorded. His brain was busy thinking about the letter and the fact that his mother and Polnoch Sana knew each other enough for the latter to pass a letter to him.

Polnoch-san picked up her bag and charts and said her goodbyes. Malin-kun bent down and picked up a piece of black paper.

“You dropped this...”

Malin-kun tilted her head to read. The designer turned, and upon seeing the paper in the Egyptian woman’s hand she paled and snatched it.

“Sorry,” the bassist said with surprise. “You said you don’t speak Russian.”

“I don’t,” Polnoch-san said tonelessly, all feeling gone from her voice. “I have no idea what this says. I found it on my desk.”

Malin-kun shrugged her shoulders. “It says that the writer has finished her work. That’s it.”

“Polnoch-sensei, we really must leave now,” the assistant said with a very small and nervous voice.

“Yes. Thank you.”

Shoko picked up her bag. “We must leave now too. Let’s go, Sho.”

“Huh? Oh yeah. Coming.”

 

* * *

 

Kirill Mertvye was rocking from side to side on his bed with Zoya safely caught in his arms. It felt better holding her, and she wouldn’t protest until she got hungry. Kirill could feel the raging voices of Yuni and Ivy, but they were whispers compared to the other voice he tried hard to block out of his mind.

To tell the truth, it wasn’t the first time he felt something like it, but it was the first time in his life this kind of overwhelming... nothing, came from only one person, and one who wasn’t even in the same block as he.

As a child he had read _Never-ending story_ where a Nothing swallowed the world of Fantasia. The description of that Nothing was the closest he could come in describing what he felt from that one girl. Just a big Nothing that swallowed all other emotions. Last night the Nothing, trying to suck him in, swallow him whole, had been exploding. Now it was just a large, black hole. It hurt to listen to, and it still felt like it tried to eat his emotions too.

“This won’t do,” he whispered to the little girl in his arms. She looked up at him with wide, brown eyes. “I must do something about that girl or I can’t even work.”

Zoya reached up and patted his cheek, right where the tattoos were covering up the scars on his face.

“Will you come with me and find her? The girl who doesn’t feel anything.”

To that she answered with wrapping her short arms around his neck and grabbed a safe hold of his shirt. Kirill smiled.

“Thank you, Zoya.”

 

* * *

 

Sawara Takenori had shrunk a few centimetres today. His co-workers were all keeping a worried eye on him in between exchanging glances with each other. At last a brave man dared to walk up to him.

“Sawara-san. You’ve sighed every time you’ve put the phone or the pen down since this morning. Is something the matter?”

The brown eyes that looked up were wearier than usual. “Yes. I’ve been working overtime for a week all in vain. The president called this morning telling me to forget the project.”

Glances were exchanged all around the office again.

“What project?”

“The president asked me to find Mogami Kyoko’s father or other family, so I’ve been calling around all libraries and hospitals for information, only to come up with one fact: Mogami Saena was never married.”

Sawara-san sighed again, heavily, and his forehead landed on his desk with a thud.

_“Sawara-kun, don’t bother with Mogami-kun anymore. We can’t do anything more for her.”_

That’s what the president had said over the phone this morning, and they had been the only words that were exchanged. Sawara was still trying to decipher the tone that had been used. Somewhere between weary and outraged, or perhaps disappointed along with angry. Or maybe the president had been really sad and/or frustrated. The words had been brisk and the president had hung up right after saying them, not leaving room for questions. Sawara had also heard that the president today was dressed in a grey suit.

“I hope you’ll be alright, Kyoko-chan,” Sawara mumbled into his desk.

 

* * *

 

A sudden sneeze startled Maria Takarada from her drawing. She turned to snap at whoever it was, but the sight of bright pink changed her mood immediately.

“Onee-sama!”

The usually bright gold brown eyes were darkened and lined with red when Mogami Kyoko looked up from the box she was carrying. The smile wasn’t the same as usual either.

“Ah, Maria-chan. Did I disturb you?”

“I don’t really have anything to do,” the young girl answered instantly. “Have you caught a cold? Onee-sama, shouldn’t you be in bed?”

The older girl smiled a bit brighter and kneeled down. “It’s alright, Maria-chan. I won’t go down so easily. I’m very tough.” Then she seemed to think of something and the smiling mask fell off.

Maria backed away. Even if she had been into the occult for a long time, even when her room was filled to the brim with stuff that would make any other girl her age faint from disgust or fear, even when she loved the darkness, the complete lack of light in her sister’s face was frightening.

“Say, Maria-chan.” Kyoko smiled again.

“What?”

“Do you love me?”

It was the first time anyone ever asked that of the eight year old girl. She had heard from her classmates that their parents asked that frequently, but her situation was a lot different from theirs. She had never expected to have that question thrown her way.

“Of course I do, Onee-sama!” Maria Takarada answered without a second thought. “You are everything I want in an older sister!”

Kyoko looked slightly taken aback, but then her face was lightened with relief. The smile wasn’t as wide or happy or brilliant as usual, but it was brighter than the total darkness of before.

“Thank you, Maria-chan.”

The girl blinked and then smiled back, happy that she had managed to cheer her sister up. “You are on a Love-Me mission, right? I can help you.”

“No you can’t.”

Her face fell.

“I’m the first member of Love-Me. I do my work wholeheartedly. If I accepted help I wouldn’t be working with all of my heart.” Kyoko reached out a hand and softly patted Maria’s long curls of hair. “But thank you.”

The door opened and a woman came in. “There you are, Maria-chan. I’ve been looking all over for you.”

The girl pouted. “Aw, I wanted to be with Onee-sama.”

“You have things to do as well.” Kyoko smiled. “Then you better do it, wholeheartedly.”

Maria turned her pouting face to Kyoko’s smiling one. “Fine.”

“Good girl, Maria-chan.”

That made her day. Maria smiled happily and followed the other woman. Kyoko picked up the box she had set aside when kneeling down to Maria-chan’s level, but then she just stood there for a long moment. A pair of guys passed behind her and snickered at the pink uniform and strange section name. It went unheard by the still girl.

“Forgive me, Maria-chan... but thank you.”


	14. Kirill Mertvye and Kyoko Mogami

In the middle of the pavement near TBM stood a tall, blond man with an upturned face. In his arms sat a girl who looked very small against his chest, she too looking at the sky. People passing them all stared and tried to see what they were looking at. The man had sunglasses though, so it was hard to see if he was actually looking at the sky or just enjoying the early spring sun.

“Can you feel it, Zoya?” Kirill asked.

The girl’s hands gripped his shirt tighter.

“Relief, gratitude and then shame.” The man lowered his head and looked forward. “And now back to nothing.”

They continued to walk in the direction of the girl. To be honest, Kirill had no idea to where he was heading. He could only follow the voice of nothing that over-voiced all the other hearts in the area.

Then there was suddenly something else there. Kirill stopped, muscles tensed and legs slightly bent. Zoya pulled his shirt for attention, but he only hid her in his arms. This feeling was too familiar. The voice was familiar. They were being watched.

On the other side of the street stood a tall man in jeans and a black leather jacket. He stood in the shadow and his eyes were also covered with sunglasses. Kirill answered the hatred furiously, and the man on the other side of the street showed with a angrily scrunched up nose he too could feel it.

A truck broke their eye contact, and when it had passed the stranger was gone.

Kirill stood still. The fury and hared was moving away. He straightened up.

“Sir, are you all right?”

He looked down at a small police man with a worried expression. The Russian man smiled calmingly. It was really a bother to be this tall in a country with such small people. His mere size was intimidating.

“No worry. Only thought I see an old enemy.”

“I see. But please don’t cause a scene in the middle of the street. We don’t want the civilians involved.”

Kirill cast a look around, seeing that people avoided him as much as possible. And wasn’t he a civilian himself? He smiled at the police man again.

“I will behave.”

The man left them and Kirill continued on his way. The Nothing they followed had increased in size, but his thoughts were on the man they had seen. He was so familiar.

“I met him during the war,” Kirill told Zoya. “We will probably meet him again sooner or later.”

 

* * *

 

Yashiro Yukihito could only admire his charge for the brave front he pulled for his fans and co-workers. The manager knew Ren was more worried than anyone about Kyoko-chan, but still he wouldn’t ask anybody about her, and if somebody questioned him he would calmly reply he didn’t know anything either.

But that brave front only lasted until the star was back in his lodge. There he sat heavily, ignored his lunch and tiredly drew his hands over his face and through his hair.

“Otsukare-sama,” Yashiro sighed and sat a cup of tea on the table beside the man. “How many times have you tried to call her?”

Ren took a deep breath and looked up from his hands. “Only once.”

The manager’s anger rose quickly, but he pushed it back. It was very rare for Tsuruga Ren to actually admit that he was thinking of Kyoko-chan without being fooled to it. That only meant that the star was seriously worried about the girl.

They hadn’t heard a word from Kyoko-chan since that incident at L.M.E. After coming back from talking to Kyoko-chan’s mother, Ren hadn’t said a word. If questioned he just shut up. It worried Yashiro. Tsuruga Ren always answered. Sometimes it was a straight-up lie, and sometimes it was a distracting manoeuvre. He never answered with silence.

“Have you tried contacting the mother again?”

Ren’s head snapped up. “I beg your pardon?”

Yashiro pulled back from the look Ren gave him. “I just thought... Well, whatever you spoke about. Mogami-san was angry at you on Kyoko-chan’s behalf, right?”

Ren glared at him. The darkness inside him filled the room and probably also spilled to the corridor outside. Yashiro stood frozen.

“I wouldn’t talk to that woman again if I got paid.”

“I’m so sorry!” the manager squeaked. Now he knew; whatever was said between those two had hit Ren-sama in a really sore spot. It is possible that Mogami-san even told Tsuruga Ren to stay the hell away from her daughter.

There was a knock on the door. The darkness of Ren slowly returned to where he was usually hiding it. Yashiro went to open.

“Excuse me, we’re ready. Tsuruga-kun must be on stage in ten minutes.”

“He’ll be there,” Yashiro promised. The assisting director nodded, a bit pale-faced, and left.

Yashiro closed the door and prepared himself for turning around. The look on the assisting director’s face had told him he too could feel the dark aura of a man ready to kill you in the blink of an eye.

“You heard,” he said and turned around. Ren was facing down so his face wasn’t visible in the mirror either. “Ten minutes, Ren.”

The star looked up. “Okay. Let’s go.”

He was back to normal. Yashiro only hoped that the feelings his charge tried so hard to suppress wouldn’t be too much. If they could only get a hold of Kyoko-chan.

 

* * *

 

Kirill was facing trouble.

In front of him was a TV house, and the one he sought was inside. Only guests and staff are allowed into a TV-house, an international rule. So he, being neither, couldn’t go in there.

Thinking about the problem, Kirill stood still, looking up at the building. Zoya had fallen asleep so he couldn’t ask her for advice either.

Then a memory surfaced. In the first of two TV-shows he had been to there had been a girl in a chicken suit that had rushed out in a sudden panic. That should be the girl he was looking for now. That meant she was a staff and would probably use the back door.

The Russian crossed his fingers in hopes he was right and rounded the building. He didn’t have time to search for this girl all day. Sooner or later someone would come to the hotel looking for him, and only his band knew his cell phone number. Yuni would get worried, Elexa scared and Malin angry. The last member’s reaction he didn’t want to think about, because Ivy was not going to be happy with him either.

 

* * *

 

Kyoko didn’t have filming today. _Dark Moon_ was over, _Box ‘R’_ was now filming the last scenes and Natsu would only be needed once more, for the prom scene. She had been looking forward to that scene ever since she heard of it, only because it meant that she would be able to wear a beautiful dress. _Always a child_ was right now filming all the scenes in school where she wasn’t needed, and tomorrow they would film the scenes between Aiko’s mother and father. In two weeks they would go on location again, to shoot some scenes from Aiko’s childhood. Those scenes were supposedly right after the separation between the parents and everything in the house was reminding Aiko about her happy moments.

Kyoko had heard the girl who would act as little Aiko was the daughter of a great actress, but she couldn’t remember which one. Japan sported with a lot of great actors and actresses. Shiva-san was definitely one of them.

Sighing Kyoko opened the door to face the man who had asked her to organize the documentation of a newly finished drama series and deliver them to the storeroom.

“Ah, Mogami-san. Are you done already?”

She bowed. “Otsukare-sama.” With a deft hand she picked up the Love-Me stamps and book. “Here you go. Please sign your name and what you asked of me as well.”

“All right.” He took the book.

Kyoko stood (e)motionless as he choose how many points he was going to give. Around them people whispered, but she didn’t care. What the hell did these people know anyway?

“It didn’t take you that much time,” the man started. “It makes me suspicious. I haven’t heard from the storeroom that the documents are delivered either. They would have contacted me the moment the documents arrived. You are very untrustworthy.”

A woman to Kyoko’s left whispered. “But they did...”

Somebody hushed her.

The man stamped -10 points and handed the book and box to Kyoko with a sneer.

“Don’t come here again, whore.”

The room fell into silence, and not because of the man’s choice of words. The temperature was dropping swiftly. Kyoko’s narrowed eyes looked like they were glowing. The room filled with whispers, and not from living beings.

“Don’t worry,” Kyoko said, her voice so deep and cold it made everybody hearing it shiver. “I only came for a Love-Me quest from one of the directors of L.M.E, you only grabbed me, and as a Love-Me member I do my work, wholeheartedly.”

It was like cold hands were gripping onto them. The cast in the room had fallen under an evil spell and couldn’t move. A spell that lasted long after Mogami Kyoko had left the building.

 

* * *

 

Kirill’s ears perked up as a sound of anger was lightened in the centre of the nothingness. A sound that grew in volume until the voice turned into an almost unbearable howl of hatred, contempt and pure anger. How could one person’s emotions scream so loudly? It was a wonder that nobody else could hear it. He wondered if it was just the voice affecting him or if he actually saw demons flare out of the roof.

In his arms Zoya awoke to the sound of anger and started crying.

And then, just as it had started, the anger subsided into nothing, leaving only a faint hint of weariness. The voice of nothing had grown in size too. Whoever was giving off the voice, she was in serious need of phycological help and support, even more than he was.

“What could have happened?” he whispered to himself. “What could have happened that made her voice so loud?”

It took a moment, but suddenly Kirill realized he could follow the movement of the owner of the voice with his eyes. He couldn’t see anything but wall and windows, but he was still, somehow, able to follow her. She was moving towards the back door where he waited.

Sounds died away the closer she came. The voice of nothing, a great silence of emptiness, was drowning every other sound. It was just like he was about to become deaf. Kirill swallowed. His mouth felt dry and his hands were sweaty.

The owner of the voice came out of the building wearing an overall. Everything was silent. The soft buzz of voices was gone. The ever present noise from the traffic couldn’t be heard. The wind was dead. The birds were mute.

The girl went to where a group of bicycles stood in a messy row. She picked out a red one, unlocked it and skilfully turned it around and led it towards a space where she could mount it without hitting anyone.

Then she suddenly turned her head and they made eye contact.

Something happened. It can’t be described by simple words. The simplest way to somehow explain what happened is that Kirill and Kyoko _saw_ each other. Not the way a person sees with his/her eyes. More like they saw _into_ each other.

Kirill saw multi-coloured eyes under a hue of brown. Black hair. A fragile heart broken many times over.

Kyoko saw eyes holding so many unshed tears they had turned blue. A body covered with scars caused by family, friends, strangers and enemies. A heart that couldn’t heal.

In their hearts they both were screaming mutely.

And then, by an outer force, the contact was brutally cut. Both their heads flew backwards like they had been hit in the forehead. Kirill still had Zoya in his arms and she cried out when Kirill fell backwards. Kyoko fell over her bicycle, unconscious.

Zoya cried loudly out of fear and tears ran down her reddened face in streams. People gathered, wondering what happened, worried about the unconscious pair and the crying child that refused to let go of the man she stood by. A cell phone was picked up to call the ambulance when suddenly a sharp voice cut through the chaos.

“Please wait. That’s my brother.”

People turned to a tall, lanky man with originally blond hair that hadn’t been dyed in a while, dressed in jeans, a leather jacket and sunglasses. He walked up to the fallen man and crying child.

“Shouldn’t we call an ambulance? He just fell. What if he hit his head? And what about that little girl?”

“His daughter,” the man said and heaved the unconscious blond up over his shoulders and took up the four-year-old crying girl with the other arm. “I will take care of things from here, but could I ask you to call a taxi? Ask for the Chinese guy. There’s only one here.”

A man holding a cell phone in his hand looked at it and then nodded dumbly.

“What about this pink girl? Do you know her too?”

“I know who she is. I can take her home. Leave the bike. I can pick it up later.”

The tall guy went up to the girl in pink, put the child down, threw the pink-clad body over his brother’s and picked up the child again.

“The taxi is coming with your guy,” the man with the cell phone said.

“Thanks a lot,” the tall guy said and walked around the TV-station.

The taxi took only a minute to arrive and the chauffeur helped the guy in leather jacket to place the unconscious people in the car before he went back to the driver seat.

“Where to, Goddess?”

In the back seat the Black Goddess took off the sunglasses to reveal her flashing green eyes.

“Home.”

Zoya was still crying loudly and Goddess hushed at her, hugging her and let her head rest against her shoulder.

“I thought you didn’t kill children,” the chauffeur stated calmly as he navigated through the busy traffic.

“I don’t. Although that other girl is already a target of mine.”

“And the guy?”

“Stage name Kirill Mertvye, birth name Kirill Lastotjka. Forced to enlist as a soldier and survived the civil wars of Iran.”

The chauffeur chuckled. “That’s so like you, Goddess. Forced or not he’s still a soldier. How are you going to kill him?”

“Depends on how cooperative he is and how much his information is worth.”

The Chinese chauffeur chuckled again and pulled to the side of a calm road in the more rundown parts of Tokyo. “We’re here.”

“Thank you.” Goddess looked down at Zoya whom she had managed to send to a quiet sleep with the sleep powder she always had on her shoulder. “Take these two to restaurant Daruma-Ya, last but one window to the left at the back.”

 

* * *

 

Malin had returned to the hotel to check on Kirill in between practice and the meeting for _The dead Saints’_ album that would be released in a month. Yuni didn’t have time since she first had a photo shot for a new series of earrings and would turn up to the next meeting ten to fifteen minutes late depending on how much help she got in finding the places.

“Why do they put everything in the afternoons?” Malin complained to herself and knocked on Kirill’s door. “Kirill. It’s Malin. Are you awake?”

No one answered, so Malin shrugged her shoulders and went down to the reception.

“That’s not your room,” the receptionist said hesitantly.

“I know. Kirill Mertvye lives there, but he didn’t feel very well this morning, so I have to check on him.”

The receptionist looked down at the sockets under his desk where the keys were kept.

“I’m sorry, but he’s not in. I think he left two hours ago. He is that really tall, blond guy, right?”

Malin’s eyes widened. “Um… did he have Zoya… a little girl about four years old, with him?”

“Yes, I think so.”

The bassist stood stock still. Kirill wouldn’t just leave for no reason, especially if he had Zoya with him, even less without telling Yuni. Two hours ago they were practicing and Yuni always had her phone around her neck, like all of them.

What the hell was going on?

“Thank you,” Malin said slowly and turned.

She tried to walk with as much dignity as she could, but being on the edge of panic made it hard. Only when she was outside and on her way back to the car she had borrowed she fished out her own cell from her shirt, put the handsfree in her hear and then sat debating if she should call Kirill or Yuni first.

She decided upon Kirill. No need to disturb Yuni when she was working if there was nothing wrong.

 

* * *

 

The Black Goddess had just placed the Russian star on her bed when the buzz of a cell phone was heard. Kirill was still out cold, so she roamed his pockets until she found the device, in a band around his neck of all places.

The display said; “Malin calling.”

Goddess picked it up.

“Yes.”

There was a long sigh on the other line.

“Kirill, where are you? I went to the hotel and they said you left two hours ago. Are you alright now?”

The voice that spoke was smooth, albeit sharp around the edges of the words. A female voice, speaking big city Russian.

“Kirill? Are you there? Kirill?”

“I’m here,” the Goddess said, using a deeper tone of voice than usual, speaking softly like she was asleep. “Things have become a little complicated.”

“Complicated? Should I come pick you up? Where are you anyway?”

“You don’t have to pick anyone up,” the Goddess said with her normal voice, still speaking softly. “I won’t let Kirill leave for a while.”

There was a long silence on the other line, the sounds of annoyed traffic being the only sounds heard.

“What have you done to Kirill? And Zoya.”

“The child is safe. You can pick her up at Daruma-Ya whenever you like.”

“Daruma what?”

“A restaurant. The owners will take well care of her, rest assured.”

Silence.

“And what do you want with Kirill? Ransom?”

The Black Goddess chuckled quietly. “Don’t take me for an idiot. I earn my money by killing unwanted people.”

“Kirill isn’t unwanted,” the woman over the phone said, and now her voice was shaking with emotion.

“I know,” the Goddess said calmly. “Kirill Lastotjka is a survivor from the wars of Iran ten years ago. So am I.”

“We all are,” the woman on the other line said, her voice shaking even more. “All of us, every one of _The dead Saints_ survived those wars. What do you want from Kirill? I can give it just as much.”

The Black Goddess was silent for a long moment, her eyes examining the man on her bed, the cloths that undoubtedly covered unholy scars that still burnt. Everlasting remains of the past, left to remind the bearer that he was alive, and someone else was dead.

“No. I will keep him for a while. If he cooperates, you can have him back later.”

And then she hung up around the pleading voice of Malin and turned the cell off.

_“How are you going to kill him?”_

The man on her bed flinched slightly, like he heard the voice in her mind. His head tried to roll over, but fell back and he was once again motionless. The Black Goddess watched.

“It depends.”


	15. Pieces fitting together

Warmth.

Voices.

It felt like she was floating.

Kyoko opened her eyes. Her view was blurred, like she saw something through the moving surface of water, but she didn’t know if she was above of beneath that surface. It felt safe here. Nothing from the outside world could reach her.

Through her blurred vision a face cleared. A face with blue eyes. She recognized the face of a man. A man who understood and whose heart was just as broken as hers.

She smiled at the face.

“Kyoko-chan?”

Kyoko blinked, when her eyes opened the face of the man was gone, replaced by the round one of none else than her landlady!

“Okami-san?”

The woman smiled in relief. Surprised Kyoko noticed wrinkles around Okami-san’s eyes. Not the usual ones she got when smiling, but signs of age and weariness.

“Kyoko-chan, how long have you been back? And what’s up with the child?”

Blinking in confusion Kyoko looked down. Two things registered in her mind. One; she was still dressed in her pink Love-Me overall. Two; a child was clutching to her cloths, wide-awake and scared. A child with straight, shoulder length chestnut brown hair, dark brown eyes and dressed in a white dress with little strawberries on it. When she sat up the child followed, but didn’t let go. Kyoko looked to Okami-san for support. She didn’t have much experience with children beside Maria-chan, and she was older than the child now clinging to her.

Okami-san smiled in understanding and reached out for the child, but the little girl whined in fear and started crying, pressing closer to Kyoko’s body. Confused, Kyoko tentatively lifted a hand and patted the brown little head. Luckily that seemed to calm the girl, if only just a bit. She was still scared. The eldest woman of the three looked to Kyoko with narrowed eyes.

“So? Why are you home? Who is this child? _When_ did you come back?”

Three simple questions, it seemed, and they should have been if Kyoko had known the answer to any of them. Why she was back in her own room and when she came back she wondered about just as much as Okami-san. The child? An even bigger mystery!

“I… I am terribly sorry, Okami-san, but I don’t know. I must have been dreaming, but I can’t tell where dream start and reality end.”

Okami-san blinked, a bit taken aback by the distress and desperation she saw in Kyoko-chan’s face.

“Well then, why don’t you try to tell me what you’ve done since you woke up this morning? Do you even know the time?”

To that question Kyoko opened her mouth, closed it again and shook her head with eyes wide from confusion. Okami-san turned to the clock on the wall where the short arm pointed to the number 8 and the long one to 11. Kyoko turned her head to look out the window, finding it dark outside.

“Kyoko-chan, you left early today, right? What did you do from that moment on?”

The teenager thought hard. This morning she hadn’t woken up at all, that much she knew. After…

That’s right. Last night a woman had been here. Kirra-san. The Black Goddess.

“Kyoko-chan?”

“It’s a bit hard to remember. My head is a bit foggy still,” the teenage girl started.

Okami-san watched with concern. Kyoko-chan’s eyes were so sad it broke her heart. What could possibly have happened? Was it about that list she had found here this morning? Should she ask about it?

The child pulled Kyoko’s cloths and whined, holding a hand to her mouth.

“She must be hungry,” Okami-san said. “Let us go down and have a bit of supper, shall we?”

Kyoko smiled a little. The thought of doing something familiar was calming. She started the progress of standing, but was stopped by the little girl’s hands that gripped around her collar.

“What do you want? Aren’t you hungry?”

The girl didn’t answer, only stepped even closer and tried to move her grip upwards Kyoko’s collar.

“I think she wants you to carry her,” Okami-san smiled from the door.

Kyoko stared back at her with disbelief. She had never carried a child before in her life! But… thinking about Maria, Kyoko remembered seeing Tsuruga-san carry her on his arms. How was his hold again?

Once again she had failed to observe.

“Just wrap your arms around her legs and lift to rest her on your hip,” Okami-san said helpfully and showed with her own arms. “Both of you will be comfortable like that.”

Kyoko looked down at the child, who seemed just as uncertain as Kyoko felt. It was a bit awkward, but Kyoko tried.

The child was a bit heavy, but once Kyoko stood up she got surprised. The girl was still clinging onto her collar, but she rested pretty safely on Kyoko’s arm and hip. The hollow of her waistline and the swell of her hips created a natural seat for the child. More than half of the weight rested on Kyoko’s hip.

“Kyoko-chan?”

“Huh? Oh! Coming!”

Walking with a child on her hip made Kyoko realize something else; her hips swung! Walking traditionally you weren’t supposed to sway your hips at all, since the weight had to be concentrated on a middle point, and Kyoko had grown up walking like that; swaying her hips to a minimum. Maybe Natsu’s walking style had begun to rub off on her? How long had her hips been swaying like this? She knew Natsu swung her hips because she didn’t put all weight in the middle, but shifted the weight onto the leg she had on the ground. Tsuruga-san had been very clear on that point.

“Kyoko-chan? Aren’t you going to sit down?”

The still pink-clad girl realized she had been walking in circles around the table, concentrated on the swaying of her hips she felt by having a child riding on them.

“Ah. I’m sorry.”

She went to her place, started to bend her knees and then straightened up again. What was she supposed to do with the child now? Sit down first and drop the girl, or drop the girl and sit down?

Kyoko desperately looked to Okami-san for help. The motherly woman almost laughed.

“Set the child down first.”

Hesitatingly Kyoko loosened her grip, and to her surprise, the child helped by straightening her legs and loosening her grip on Kyoko’s collar, allowing herself to be let down on the floor. However, the girl held onto Kyoko’s pants leg instead.

“Don’t worry, Kyoko-chan,” Okami-san smiled. “She will sit down when you do.”

Kyoko didn’t have much of a choice. With absolutely no experience of treating a child she was dependant on Okami-san’s advices. She had never given children much thought before, since her plans for the future had never gone further than her wedding.

A dream she had disposed of since the whole Shotaro fiasco.

The supper consisted the usual; rise balls, miso soup and tea. The child girl enjoyed the rise balls, ignored the soup and drank water, all the while looking at Kyoko and her surroundings.

At 9.21 pm. the meal was interrupted by stressed knocking on the back door.

“Who can it be?” Okami-san asked as her husband went to open.

Kyoko heard how the lock clicked and then a trembling voice spoke.

“Oh. I am so terribly sorry to disturb you at this hour, but. You see…”

The child, who had been seated as close to Kyoko-chan as possible, sprung up and ran towards the sounds of voices as fast as her short legs could carry her.

“Hey, girl?” Kyoko called after her and followed.

“Zoya!”

“This child is yours?”

In the short hallway Kyoko found two people besides Boss and the child girl, and she recognized both of them.

“Sky-kun?”

Both women looked up.

“Ms. Mogami? What… Do you live here?”

“I reside here for the moment, yes.”

The other woman, leaning heavily on the doorframe, looked between Sky-kun, currently on her knees with her arms full of child, and Kyoko. She was the one who had been with Sky-kun in the director’s office the other day, though she didn’t seem to remember Kyoko, she did however remember the pink overall. Kyoko had taken off the top part and tied it around her waist when she ate.

“Come on in. Don’t stand talking in the door,” Boss grunted and walked back to finish his tea.

Kyoko was torn and looked at the women for support.

“Is it okay? We’d like to ask a few questions.”

“Yes. Please come in.”

The women did, Sky-kun stood, leaving the child on the floor as she took off her shoes; a pair of flashy leather boots with high heels. The other woman had sneakers she just stepped out of as she took off her jacket. Kyoko stared openly. The woman with the pale hair and dark skin had the same kind of slender body as Sky-kun, highlighted by a white tank top and a pair of baggy green pants Kyoko had only seen on men before.

“Excuse our intrusion,” the dark woman said as she stepped inside.

“Oh, guests,” Okami-san said blinking and stood. “Would you like some tea and rise balls?”

“If it’s not too much trouble, thank you a lot. My name is Connor Malin, and this is Sky Yuni. Thank you for taking care of Zoya for us.”

Kyoko sat down on her place around the table, turned to the women. “Um, can I ask you something?”

“Sit down first, girls,” Boss said.

The little girl, Zoya, led Sky-kun by the hand to Kyoko’s side and sat down.

“Good to see you again, Ms. Mogami,” Sky-kun greeted as she sat down. Her smile was not as carefree as it had been days ago. Now there were even proof of sleeplessness around her eyes and her skin had paled. Even her voice sounded hoarse.

For a model it was a death sin to tire oneself out to this point.

“You look weary, Sky-kun,” Kyoko pointed out.

The woman gave a short laugh. “Tell me about it. It’s been a hectic day causing an emotional storm I have yet to recover from. We’ve been worried sick about… Zoya.”

Kyoko blinked. Sky-kun had been about to say something else, but her lips had moved before those words had come out.

“Here you go, girls,” Okami-san said as she placed two cups of green tea in front of the guests.

Kyoko wondered if Okami-san and Boss had any idea of exactly who were seated around their table.

“Thank you,” they both said and took deep sips of their drinks. Sky-kun had learnt that Japanese word at least, Kyoko noticed.

“Um, Sky-kun? Why is… Soya-chan here?”

“Good question,” the model answered, her voice hoarser from the hot drink. “That’s why we’re here.”

“Poor girls,” Okami-san suddenly put in. “You must have been searching for the child for hours.”

“Yes obaa-san,” the dark skinned woman, Connor-san, replied politely. “Please excuse Yuni-chan, she doesn’t know Japanese.”

“Ah,” Okami-san mumbled and handed over a plate of rise balls that both guests hungrily stuffed their faces with.

Kyoko couldn’t help but stare. Tsuruga-san always ate with dignity, whatever it was. The women by the table ate like starved puppies. Sky-kun even wiped her mouth with the back of her hand!

“Thanks a bunch, ma’am,” the model said with a sigh. Connor-san translated for the confused faces across the table.

Okami-san suddenly smiled. “Why don’t you girls go up to Kyoko-chan’s room and talk in private? My husband and I will clean things up down here.”

“Ah, is that alright, Okami-san?” Kyoko asked as Connor-san quietly translated for Sky-kun.

“Of course. We old people won’t understand anything if you speak another language. But please don’t take too long.”

“Alright. Thank you, Okami-san, Boss.”

The man grunted with disinterest.

“Let us go to my room then,” Kyoko said as she stood. The other two women nodded and followed her example.

Sky-kun spoke to the child and easily brought her up into her arms. Kyoko watched from the corner of her eye. The way Sky-kun held the child proved that she had done so many times. On the other hand, they were probably always together.

Arriving to her room Kyoko sat down at the low table. Sky-kun mumbled something that was neither Japanese nor English, and Connor-san answered curtly.

“So?” Kyoko asked when they were all seated, using English. “You don’t know why your child was here with me?”

“No, we may actually know why she was with you,” Connor-san answered. “But could you please tell us what happened?”

Kyoko hesitated. Okami-san had asked the same thing, and still she couldn’t answer to anyone’s satisfaction.

“I’m sorry,” she said slowly and looked up. “I don’t really know for myself. I thought I was in town working, but then I suddenly woke up here and the child, Soya-chan, was with me.”

Sky-kun and Connor-san exchanged a quick glance. The latter reached her hand into one of her many pockets and pulled out something Kyoko had seen people with a lot of credit cards use for them. But instead of credit cards, Connor-san’s held photographs. She picked out one and placed it in front of Kyoko.

“Have you seen him before?”

The photo could be from after work, because the man in it was sweaty and dressed in a flashy white shirt with swirling black embroideries open down his chest. It looked like he was on his way of removing a guitar with one hand while pulling the other through his sweaty hair as he spoke to somebody. The face tattoos were only slightly visible since he had them on the side of the face that was turned away from the camera. Even though he looked tired his face was satisfied and happy.

It was the same kind of face Sho pulled after a gig.

“I’ve seen him. Kirill-san from _The dead Saints_ , right?”

“Yes,” Sky-kun said softly.

Kyoko didn’t look up from the photo. For her eyes, the man on the picture moved, turned to look at her.

She jumped.

“Ms. Mogami?”

Kyoko blinked a few times, staring intently at the photo. It hadn’t moved. Of course it hadn’t! People in pictures don’t move! That’s a fact. An unchangeable fact.

“He has blue eyes.”

The women across from her blinked. Kyoko herself was rather surprised by her own words. But she remembered his face; a pair of eyes holding an ocean of unshed tears. Kirill was the man whose heart was just as broken and crying as her own.

This was a man who knew how she felt.

“Ms. Mogami. Can you tell me something?”

Kyoko looked up into Sky-kun’s concerned blue eyes. She had seen those eyes change colour and character; from a warm spring sky to ice dotted with darkness. Sky-kun too hadn’t lived a perfect life.

“Of course,” Kyoko answered.

Sky-kun leaned forward on her elbows, her eyes searching as she hesitated. “Ms. Mogami… how have you felt lately?”

“Nani?”

“Do you have any sort of trauma?” Sky-kun continued with more determination. “Have you been through strong emotions of fright or sorrow lately? And yesterday night, did you feel like something inside of you exploded or disappeared?”

Kyoko paled as all blood left her head. She wanted to ask how Sky-kun could know. She wanted to ask how Sky-kun could explain Kyoko's feelings when she couldn’t even start do so for herself, but words, sounds at all, suddenly seemed impossible. It felt like something was strangling her. The walls closed in, trying to crush her, make her smaller.

“I’m not,” she suddenly heard herself deny. “It’s a curse. I’m cursed.”

There was a choking feeling in her chest and it felt like a chain had settled around her throat, keeping her from breathing. She felt cold, freezing, her sight blurred until she couldn’t make out the faces in front of her anymore.

And then there suddenly was warmth.

“It’s okay,” a soft, soothing voice said in a distance that slowly grew shorter. “There is no need to be scared. Nothing will harm you.”

Her sight returned just as slowly as it had blurred, but she couldn’t see much anyway. Her senses returned to her one after one, until Kyoko realized she was caught in Sky-kun’s safe embrace. Sky-kun’s body was warm. It felt safe. She felt loved.

Kyoko sighed and buried her face deeper into the woman’s chest, feeling the softness of the body.

“That’s right,” the gentle voice of Sky-kun said. “There is nothing here to be afraid of. You are safe here. Don’t worry.”

From the other side of the table, Malin watched, her chest tight with emotions she didn’t care to name.

This girl was just like Kirill.

This Mogami girl had suddenly panicked. Yuni had been spot-on in her assumptions. This was definitely the girl Kirill had been sensing since their arrival to Japan.

But what did that mean? Of course, Yuni probably knew something. She was Kirill’s mother in a sense, and he had most likely poured his whole heart and life story to her. But how Yuni could have caught onto the fact that this was actually the girl, Malin would never know. She was really amazing like that, mother Yuni.

“A-ah. S-suimasen.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Yuni said and wiped a lasting tear from the girl’s cheek. “It was my fault for stressing you.”

Mogami looked confused, so Yuni turned to her friend as she sat beside the girl who dried her eyes in a daze, like she was surprised that there were tears on her face.

Zoya, who had silently watched everything, went up to her newfound friend and sat close to her side, hugging her arm.

Malin smiled slightly. She had long since figured that Zoya had some sort of ability too, just like Kirill, but in a different sense. Kirill liked to keep the child close, even more so when he was sensing too much strong negative emotion. But if Zoya was a block or a sense of security, Malin didn’t know.

“Mogami-san. Do you remember seeing Kirill today?” she said slowly, her eyes darting to Yuni to make sure she wasn’t too soon to ask. Her friend wouldn’t understand anything from now on, but it was easier to let Mogami speak her own language than trying to force herself through her confusion and concentrate on speaking English.

“I…”

Malin stopped herself from leaning forward, forcing herself to not seem overly interested. It would stress the girl more than necessary.

“I…” the girl said again. Malin concentrated on her eyes that darted around. A motion that was hardly seen if one didn’t look.

“…don’t know,” Mogami finished. “Perhaps I did. I can’t remember very clearly.”

Malin felt her heart flutter and knew her face showed signs of anxiety, but Mogami was keeping her gaze on the table, so hopefully she wouldn’t look up and see.

“Can you say what you remember?”

Mogami stayed silent. Yuni sent Malin a glance, silently telling her to not pry. She may not understand the language, but she would always understand a tone of voice.

“Thinking” Yuni mouthed, and Malin gave a small nod. Even with Yuni’s hand on one shoulder and Zoya clutching to her arm, Mogami wouldn’t be completely safe from her own negative emotions.

“I remember his face,” Mogami started quietly. “I remember seeing his eyes and his heart.”

Malin sent Yuni a quick, wide-eyed glance.

“I remember that I saw him… but then…”

The bassist’s heartbeat raced a mile a minute, and worked hard to not let it be seen on her face.

“Then…”

How did Yuni manage to stay so calm? Oh, right. She didn’t understand.

“I’m sorry,” Mogami suddenly laughed awkwardly. “I can’t explain really. It sounds ridiculous.”

“Try anyway.” Malin herself could hear the tremble to her voice and cringed slightly at the hard look Yuni sent her way.

She answered it with a glare and a scrunched up nose.

Mogami looked up and Malin forced calmness to her face. All the while knowing she failed on some part.

“It was like everything was cut off.”

The bassist blinked.

“Cut off?” she echoed.

Mogami flushed and looked down onto the table again.

“Yes. Or like something hit me in the forehead. Or like I was pulling a string that suddenly was cut off. It hurt, and then… I think I woke up here.”

Malin let her breath out, only then realizing she had held it in. Turning to Yuni she explained what had been said, and Yuni’s eyes widened into twice their normal size.

Why did Yuni always understand?

“Ask if she was connected,” the drummer mouthed.

“Mogami-san… um. You said you saw Kirill’s eyes and heart. Can it be that… you were… connected with him?”

Mogami looked up again, her eyes mirroring surprise.

“I… is that… possible?”

“Anything is possible, Mogami-san.” Malin smiled lopsidedly. “Especially if Kirill is involved.”

Mogami blinked. She really had wide eyes.

“It… may have been so.”

“Can you tell me what his heart looked like?”

“Broken,” Mogami answered immediately, making Malin’s eyes grow wider before she caught herself. “He was just like me. His heart was so broken down it can never heal again. His eyes were blue because he can’t shed anymore tears.”

“Thank you,” Malin said quickly, almost yelling the word.

Yuni sent her a confused and questioning glance. Mogami too looked up in surprise.

“Sorry,” the bassist mumbled, her head bowed down so that her eyes couldn’t be seen. “Mogami-san, I’m sorry to bring this up again,” she looked up, “but what happened last night to make Kirill look for you?”

Once again Mogami’s face paled.

“Kirill is gone,” the Egyptian woman hurriedly, desperately continued. “I’m asking because a woman answered his phone and told me we would find Zoya here, but that she would keep Kirill.”

“A… woman?”

Malin silenced. The look in Mogami’s eyes. She knew.

“A woman… with green eyes?”

The bassist had to swallow and grip the edge of the table she sat by to not throw herself over it and shake the answers out of the Japanese girl.

“I couldn’t see the eyes over the phone,” Malin admitted hoarsely. “Do you know her?”

Mogami swallowed and sent a glance to her right where Yuni still sat. Yuni smiled reassuringly and squeezed her shoulder.

“No… I don’t know her,” the Japanese girl said as her gaze returned to Malin. “But… if it was her, she was here last night. She said her name was Kirra.”

Beside Mogami, Yuni frowned and sent a look across the table. If she had picked up on the name or thought she understood, Malin couldn’t tell.

“Would you recognize this woman if you saw her again?”

“Anytime,” Mogami said with confidence. “Her eyes were so green. She looked…”

Malin waited. Mogami’s eyes slowly widened as they looked at the photo still in front of her.

“She looked like him.”

“Who?”

Mogami pointed at the photo. “She looked like him! Blond… well, she had dyed her hair once, but the blond hair had grown out about two inches. Her face was long with that square chin, the high forehead and had the same straight nose. Her body was really manly as well. Her shoulders were a lot broader than on any woman I have seen, and her arms were long and quite muscular. She moved quietly and both her legs and body were long because of her bone structure. Her breasts also looked very solid, probably inside a specially made bra, and solid breasts are often a sign of hard training. Her muscle structure lined very finely and it is highly possible that she was overly flexible. The long fingers, short nails and the lack of nail polish is proof that she is working with her hands. I also could see signs of calluses on her hands, but can’t really place what she does to get such calluses. However, she uses her fingers to grab things instead of using her whole hand. It may mean that she is a magician because she had really nimble fingers. Those calluses I saw were on her fingertips as well and…”

“Okay, okay. I get it. Please stop there.”

Kyoko blinked, pulled out of her world of observation of the woman who had been here the night before. Connor-san had collapsed on the table in front of her. Beside her, Sky-kun too was staring. She realized she had been ranting and blushed.

“Sorry.”

“No need,” Connor-san said with a wave of her hand and raised her head. “Your observation ability is so amazing I could recommend you become a spy. With such an eye for detail you’d be a pro.”

If that was a compliment or a smartass comment, Kyoko couldn’t tell. It didn’t sound like a compliment to her.

“Thank you for your time. We’re done asking.”

Connor-san nodded in Sky-kun’s direction and both women rose to their feet.

“And thank you again for taking care of Zoya for us,” Sky-kun smiled.

Kyoko returned the smile hesitatingly. Sky-kun looked even more worn out than when she had come. The model reached down and picked up the child girl from Kyoko’s other side.

The Japanese girl followed her guests downstairs. Okami-san and Boss had long since finished cleaning the table and washing the dishes and had probably gone to bed already. Boss had left the light in the hallway on so that they didn’t have to walk in complete darkness.

“We’re sorry if we upset you tonight,” Sky-kun apologized once she had put her boots on.

“No, it’s alright. You were worried. I understand.”

“We might come in contact with you again,” Connor-san said from the door. Her face was serious and her eyes gleamed with sober concern. “With the way things are, I believe it is inevitable.”

Kyoko knitted her eyebrows together. Connor-san was a mysterious woman indeed, sprouting such strange words.

“Thank you for your hospitality,” Connor-san said and bowed. Kyoko bowed back, but didn’t know how to reply.

Sky-kun and Connor-san left with the child girl they had come for. Kyoko stood in the door and watched them enter a small car and drive away. It was only when she closed the door she realized how dark it was.

And how lonely she was.

 

* * *

 

“What do you think of this?”

Yuni stayed silent in the back seat. Zoya was secured beside her and Malin drove slowly through the nightly traffic. The Egyptian woman had finished explaining what Mogami had said, and Yuni was still progressing it.

“Malin. You said that the abductor stated she was a survivor of the Iran wars.”

“Yes.”

“And Ms. Mogami said the woman who visited her last night was named Kirra.”

Malin looked at her friend in the rear-view mirror. “Yes.”

Yuni silenced, but her face spoke more. It was rare to see the small model frown. Malin rarely saw such signs of anger except for when she and Ivy were at each other's throats. But Yuni knew more about Kirill than anyone.

“Another survivor of those wars. Kirill gone. Zoya left with a girl that isn’t a stranger to me.” Yuni met Malin’s gaze in the mirror. “I don’t believe in coincidences.”

“So how is Mogami involved in this mess?”

The model sighed. “I have a suspicion, and only one way to confirm it.”

“Asking Kirill?”

“That,” Yuni agreed, “or to think for myself. Would be easier if there weren’t so many missing links. Somehow Ms. Mogami is connected to Kirill, and none of them knows how.”

In the driver’s seat, Malin sighed. This was one great mess they had gotten themselves into, and once again there was nobody to blame.

“Should we start praying?” the Egyptian woman asked feebly.

“I never stopped,” Yuni answered.

 

* * *

 

Kirill heard himself moan. His head hurt like hell and he lifted a hand to rub his forehead.

“Damn this curse,” he mumbled to himself under his breath.

He sat up, cast his long legs over the edge of the bed and rubbed his face. The bunk he had slept on really wasn’t good for his back.

When opening his eyes, Kirill expected to see a wall or a second bunk. What he did see didn’t register at first.

A mirror?

No, it couldn’t be.

A woman in an armchair.

But it couldn’t be. It just couldn’t be.

“Good evening, Kirill,” the woman greeted.

He felt his mouth go dry and his head started spinning. 

“Am I dreaming?”

“Do you wish you were?”

He couldn’t concentrate on her, and instead tried to see his surroundings. The room was plain and grey, like a cell. There was a window to his right, showing a piece of darkened sky. A lamp in the ceiling cast a steady flow of light over this room where the armchair and the bunk was the only visible furniture. No pictures lined the walls. Nothing inspired the mind to start thinking. The window was the only proof there was a world outside this room.

“Why am I here,” he asked without looking to the only other living being in this empty space.

“Because I brought you here.”

“Why are you here?”

“I live here.”

“For how long?”

A moment of silence as the woman shrugged her shoulders. “This is where I ended up. The rest doesn’t matter.”

“What did you do to the girl?”

“Which one?”

“Both.”

“Oh, they’re safe, rest assured.”

“ _Where are they_?”

He wouldn’t take any half-assed answers about Zoya _or_ the other girl. They had a life ahead while he had left one behind already.

The woman in the armchair crossed her arms over her chest and sunk lower into the cushions. “That girl work and live in a restaurant called Daruma-Ya. I had them both delivered there, unharmed.”

Kirill sighed and let his head fall forward, feeling more defeat than relief. He had wanted to ease that girl’s feelings of emptiness, not involve her in his messed up life.

The room was sent into silence again. No sounds from the outer world could reach in here, like it was a patch of space God had long since forgotten all about.

“You have changed, Kirill,” the woman in the armchair said softly. “Before the war you opened your heart.”

“Before the war I had my sisters.”

“You still have.”

“STOP PLAYING AROUND WITH ME, KIRRA!” Kirill roared and sprung to his feet. His voice echoed around the room, but Kirra didn’t even flinch. Her green eyes looked at him with a calmness that put his temper to shame.

“I’m not lying,” was all she said.

“I know that,” Kirill hissed. “You’ve never been a liar. But you were reported _dead_! They gave me your dog-tags and told me you were _dead_! I even saved them. I still have them!”

Kirra, the woman in the armchair, changed position, leaning her body to the other side and used her right knuckle to rest her head on. The calm itself. She had always been calmness personified.

“It wasn’t I who died,” she said softly. “It was Aleksandra.”

Kirill’s legs gave away under him and he fell back onto the bunk. Aleksandra? Aleksandra was dead?

“Akilina?”

“Yes.”

“Both of them…”

“Yes,” Kirra’s voice whispered. “They’re dead.”

The man buried his face in his hands. Of course he had lived with the suspicion for the last ten years. Of course his hopes had been weak. But Aleksandra and Akilina? The eldest twins. His eldest sisters. Dead?

“They were so strong.”

“Tell the bullets that.”

Kirill shuddered. “What happened?” he whispered. “What happened to them? What happened to you?”

Kirra didn’t answer. Might be just as well, Kirill thought to himself. Even if he asked, there was a great part of him that didn’t want to know. A part telling him that knowing what had happened would only worsen his guilt and nightmares.

“I don’t know what happened,” Kirra said slowly. “When I found Akilina, she was already dead.”

“Aleksandra?”

Kirill looked up and met the green eyes of Kirra. They were dark, much darker than he could recall, and he knew; Kirra had seen Aleksandra die.

“The captain sent us on a mission; kill as many higher-ups as you can.”

The man could feel how blood flowed from his head, making it spin until he thought he would faint.

“A death quest,” he choked. “Colonel Highland?”

“Who else?”

“Why? Why she? Why you?”

“Don’t ask when you know the answer.”

Kirill flinched. Kirra’s voice was soft, but her words harsh. Yes, he did know. He did, but that didn’t stop his heart from aching. It didn’t stop his feelings of guilt.

“Why do you keep blaming yourself, Kirill? The officers never cared for how we felt.”

“I know,” the man hissed. “I know our opinion never mattered. I know disobeying orders meant death. I know the chances of survival were slim.”

“But you still wish you could have done something.” Kirra sighed deeply. “A lot has changed, but that part of you never will.”

“What is it to you? What happened to your compassion? What happened to my sister?”

Another long silence stretched between them, strengthening the wall that had separated their hearts, keeping them from hearing each other.

“What happened to me is the same that happened to you. Only the one who picked me up had rough hands.”

Kirill swallowed as he felt bile coming up. He wanted to vomit. The memories of ten years ago and the understanding of what Kirra was saying were more than he wanted to live with.

“You and Faina were reported dead. I have your tags. Aleksandra, Akilina and Esfir were only reported missing.”

At the woman’s sudden snort of laugher Kirill’s head shot up, eyes wide. Kirra was laughing, but her eyes were cold.

“You know,” she sighed softly, “the tags were meant as identification. Nobody noticed or cared if a tag changed owner.”

Dread welled up inside the Russian man and he slowly straightened his back.

“Yes, it’s just as you suspect, brother. I and Faina were not the ones who died, but the ones who _survived_.”

His heart pounded in his ears. “Faina is alive?” The sound of his voice was weak and he hated it. “Esfir?”

“Her I know nothing about. I found Akilina’s body and took the tags with me to show Aleksandra. I think I lost mine somewhere, probably around big sister’s body.”

Kirill nodded, silently urging her to continue.

“Akilina was in the first group. I and Aleksandra in the second. Esfir in the third and last. Maybe she died, maybe she survived. I’ve stopped searching. I’ve stopped caring.” Her eyes grew colder as she glared at him. “And only when I give up I find my brother.”

“When?”

Kirra shrugged. “When _King’s Fight_ was played on Japanese radio. I will always recognize your voice, Kirill.”

The man stayed silent. It had been Malin’s idea, starting a band. Yuni had encouraged it, saying that if they became famous enough…

Yuni and Malin! He had completely forgotten about them. How long had he been here? They must be worried sick about him.

He reached for his cell phone, only to realize it was gone and looked at Kirra. Her green gaze followed his movements and he knew she knew what he wanted.

Her left hand moved over her chest and then his cell hung from her forefinger.

“They called?”

“Once.”

Kirill stood, and then stopped. Suddenly uncertain. Behind Kirra’s armchair he could see a door that had been covered from his view. Now he could take his cell and leave. But he had doubts it would go that easy.

“You can leave whenever you like, brother. You can’t hide from me anyway.”

He knew that. She was his twin after all. She could also hear voices of hearts. How she managed to stay sane Kirill would never understand.

Slowly, hesitatingly, he stepped closer to his twin sister. She remained still, her eyes the only thing stirring, following his movements. He grabbed his cell without taking his eyes off her. She stayed still.

With long strides Kirill moved towards the door.

“Do you remember Naum?”

He stopped dead in his tracks, hand closed around the door’s handle.

“Yes,” he mumbled his answer.

“Do you remember his trips to Japan?”

“They are the reason I’m here.”

“Do you know the name of the girl you found today?”

Kirill’s heartbeat began to pick up. Slowly he turned his head. Kirra’s head peaked out from behind the armchair’s back, not entirely turned to him.

“Her last name is Mogami.”

Kirra sat back. She could hear the hitched breath of her brother, and then the door being thrown open and the sound of his steps as he looked for the way out of the building.

Once again she was alone. The initial anger she had felt had subsided during a day of watching her brother sleep, after a day of hard thinking.

“If you can, please save her. I can’t.”

To her surprise, a lone tear rolled down her cheek.

 

* * *

 

Kirill ran through the late evening, his breath harsh as he aimed first in one direction and then changed his mind, causing him to run around in circles like a mindless rabbit. At last he stopped in a corner to catch his breath.

What the hell was he doing? What the hell could he do? What would change now? Two of his sisters were now confirmed dead. Two of them were confirmed alive and the fifth one was still missing. Kirra’s eyes had become dark. She had lost something precious. What was she planning anyway, telling him that name?

Mogami. The girl he had searched for earlier was Mogami? It couldn’t be Naum’s Mogami. The girl he had seen was too young. His daughter? Naum had a daughter? Or was Kirra playing around with him? Why couldn’t he trust his own sister anymore?!

“Damn it all to hell!”

A sudden pain in his knuckle brought his attention to it. He had hit it against a brick wall. The knuckles were bleeding. Yuni wouldn’t be impressed by him now…

Yuni.

Kirill sighed, all his frustration, anger, confusion and grief leaving with his breath until all he could feel was exhaustion.

“Might as well go back to them. Ivy’s going to kill me anyway.”


	16. "Love"

When Kirill returned to the hotel he already knew what he would find. He could hear the voices of Yuni, Malin and the girls far before he reached the building. The girls were scared, Malin was angry and worried and Yuni was… she was crying. Until Kirill saw her face he wouldn’t know if she cried visible tears or only in her heart, but it still hurt him that he had caused them all so much pain, even if it wasn’t his fault.

Following the sound of the voices he had stayed with since his pulling out of the wars ten years ago, Kirill moved through the double doors of the hotel and went straight for the restaurant.

“Yuni.”

The women all looked up as one, turning their heads towards him. There were no tears in Yuni’s eyes, but he could see a cross-shaped pendant hanging in a chain wrapped around her fingers.

They had been praying for him.

“Kirill!” Elexa cried and ran towards him with open arms and tearful eyes.

“I’m so sorry I worried you,” Kirill said when both girls threw themselves into his welcoming embrace.

“Oh. So you’re _sorry_?”

Kirill looked up into Malin’s scowling face. The girls hid deeper into his chest as Malin’s lifted in preparation of a verbal beating that always came with that face.

“I’m gonna give you for ‘sorry’! I thought you were abducted for information and that you’d be tortured and mimed and whatever other unpleasantness I could come up with! And then I could come up with a lot more than I can sleep on! Did you give us a single thought before you left the hotel?! The least you could do was leave a message or call me or take someone with you! What the hell were you up to going out alone! If it hadn’t been an abductor it could have been a bunch of fangirls and who knows how THAT would have ended? I called you and thought I’d have a heart attack when it wasn’t you who answered! I hope you’re proud of yourself! Not only you, but you even put Zoya in danger! I don’t know how lucky we are that Zoya was left with good people and taken care of instead of disposed of. Why on earth did you bring her along anyway? I know you’re worried about her and can’t leave her alone but you could have left her with us! And I hope you have a very good explanation prepared to give me a reason to not lock you up or chain you to myself! If you ever again even come up with a _stray_ thought of…”

“Malin.”

The Egyptian woman stopped screaming. Her face was red and she panted heavily for saying all of that in only two breaths. Yuni still sat by the table they had all occupied when Kirill arrived. She had her back turned to them and with her elbows on the table she rested her head on her hands. Kirill could hear the soul-deep relief from her. Relief from fear.

He left the girls on the floor and slowly went up to the little woman. Malin lowered her head and clenched her teeth. Even when Kirill stood right behind Yuni, she wouldn’t look up. On the table’s surface were droplets of water. As Kirill watched, another one fell from Yuni’s face and mixed with the ones already on the table.

The man carefully wrapped his arms around Yuni’s shoulders and buried his nose in the crown of her head.

“I’m sorry, Yuni. I’m really sorry.”

The little woman moved her head to the side. For a moment she couldn’t find her voice, but then her hand found one of Kirill’s bigger ones and held it against her cheek.

“You came back at least,” she said with a weak voice. Kirill hated it. Yuni was supposed to be strong and reliable, not this weak. And he was the cause of both her tears and weakness. Even if all of it was because of relief, Kirill was still the one who had caused her all the fear that now released itself in the shape of tears and a weak voice.

“I won’t do it again,” the Russian man promised solemnly, and he wasn’t just referring to his actions.

“You can’t make promises like that,” Yuni said. Kirill could feel her weak smile against the skin of his hand. “I love you so much.”

Even if it wasn’t the first time Yuni declared her love, it still felt the same as if it was the first time she said it. Inside Kirill’s heart he could feel warmth spread from its depths.

“There is one more who wants to give you a piece of mind,” Malin’s raspy voice sounded from the doorway.

“Yes,” Yuni confirmed and straightened up. “You should go to her, Kirill.”

He didn’t want to. The only one left to leave him a piece of mind was Ivy, and there was a reason she was named after poison.

 

* * *

 

She sat on the edge of the hotel bed. The covers were smooth, so she hadn’t been lying down. Her back was turned to the door so that she faced the window she couldn’t see. Kirill knew she heard the door opening, but still she didn’t make a move.

“Ivy?”

She didn’t react to the sound of his voice. Her back was stiff like a stick, so was her neck. Kirill admitted he hadn’t paid much attention to what Ivy looked like, because he had always been scared of her. Now he noticed her neck, white like a flower and so thin-looking, because her hair was cut short, like a boy’s cut. The blackness of her hair was only broken by the band she kept on to hide her eyes from the world. Or rather, hide the holes where her eyes had once been.

Kirill walked around the bed and stood in front of the keyboarder. Ivy had always been scary and pushy and demanding and she had always stood over him whenever she spoke. She had never looked small. Not like now. For the first time Kirill realized that Ivy was not much bigger than Yuni, even with the sturdier built. He knew he was bodily the biggest of all in the group, but had always felt like he was the smallest, the weakest. Yuni had always been like his mother and Ivy like the scary aunt. None of them had ever been small or weak.

The Russian man couldn’t stand it. Ivy wasn’t supposed to be small! She was supposed to be yelling at him and he was supposed to be scared!

He kneeled down in front of the woman so that she would at least look a little bigger, noticing she was dressed in a t-shirt and short sleeping pants. Looking down Kirill saw Ivy’s feet, what was left of them. The right foot missed the three outer toes and the left had no big toe. Kirill recognized the signs of torture, probably one of the many reasons Ivy had been taken out of military service.

Cool fingers touching his face made him look up. Ivy’s seeing fingers ran over his face and hair. She had only ever done it once before, when they had started working together. Her mouth was set in a thin line and her stern face was pale and as stiff as her body. Only her fingers were nimble over his face.

Ivy managed to find his tattoos and traced them. Or she managed to find the scars the tattoos tried to cover. Kirill supposed it was the latter. Ivy wasn’t the touchy-feely type, but her fingers were sensitive. How else would she have managed to become such a splendid pianist?

After examining his face and head, Ivy sat back up and put her hands on her lap. “Go get some sleep. You have missed out a whole day, and I expect you to catch up on everything tomorrow.”

Kirill sighed and couldn’t help but smile. Ivy was still Ivy after all, and that was a relief.

“Roger that, Boss,” he answered softly and stood. But when he was by the door her voice sounded again, soft and cold.

“And Kirill.”

He turned back to her and saw how her head turned enough for him to see the side of her face.

“There are two absolute facts in this world.”

The man frowned. “Two facts?”

Ivy held up a finger. “The dead are dead, and that _won’t_ change.”

Kirill felt like he had swallowed ice. The chilly feeling in his stomach had him tense up. Ivy held up a second finger.

“The living live, and that _will_ change.”

Two absolute facts. Kirill nodded his head. “Yes,” he said breathlessly and escaped.

 

* * *

 

Morning. She had slept surprisingly well, dreamlessly.

Kyoko sat up in bed. It was still early, only past seven o’clock, but she felt rested.

Yesterday had been a strange day. The emptiness she had felt for the better part of the day, Maria-chan’s confession of love that still lingered as a warm thread in Kyoko’s heart, the anger of being looked down upon from some idiot bully of a man. The meeting with a heart that was as broken as hers.

Kyoko was familiar with the feeling that came alongside that knowledge. She had felt it many times when Tsuruga-san wasn’t angry with her anymore.

She felt relieved.

The meeting with the man with the blue eyes proved one thing; she wasn’t alone. Kyoko had gone for so long trying to push away the constant feeling of loneliness that she felt. Being left behind by her mother, by Sho, having to work, having to be perfect so that people would like her. Finding a heart that was so alike hers, as lonely and broken. It was reassuring.

If the man with the blue eyes could go on living like that, then so could she! As if a broken heart would ever stop her!

 

* * *

 

Weeks ago a meteorite had hit him right in the head. That was nothing compared to what was going to hit him today.

It was the last day of filming for _Dark Moon_. A week had gone by and today was the first that Mogami Kyoko would appear on set since the last shots of Mio. And Tsuruga Ren was right there to meet her.

Yashiro was torn between feeling satisfied and nervous. Only two days ago he had managed to finally get a hold of Kyoko-chan and she had only told him that she would turn up today. Since it wasn’t him who should be nosy and ask questions, Yashiro had kept from asking everything he wanted to know, except for how she felt. To that she had answered with a plain; “I’m fine, thank you.”

But would Ren be man enough to ask all the important questions? Yashiro doubted it. Though Ren had actually been worried enough to let it show, he hadn’t tried to call the girl more than a few times. Damn that love-idiot. Yashiro just knew he would have to see the doctor for gastric ulcer one of these days for all the worrying he did for the star.

Ren himself stood around, looking cool and collected to hide how much of a nervous wreck he was. He couldn’t sit down or he’d feel his week-long case of restless legs. Yashiro-san had said he had gotten a hold of Mogami-san and that she had told him she would be here today, but where was she? The shooting of the first scenes of the day had already started, and when they were finished, director Ogata would thank them all for their hard work and inform them of viewing numbers and other things involving the airing of Dark Moon. It was still a whole day until that though, but if you’re impatient reason isn’t the first you listen to.

“Tsuruga-san, are you ready for your next scene?”

Ren only nodded towards the assisting director and smiled weakly. Momose-san walked up to him with a worried look in her bright eyes.

“Tsuruga-san. Have you heard anything about Kyoko-chan?”

She wasn’t the first who asked that of him. Last night he had met a man, short and wild-haired, who had asked if he knew anything. “Because I’ve heard she was close to you,” the short man had explained.

Ren still didn’t know exactly who the man was, but he had seemed genuinely concerned, and had only said he was a friend of Mogami-san’s.

“I’m sorry, Momose-san, but I don’t know more than you do. I haven’t even seen her in some time.”

Momose-san raised a hand to her chin. Tsuruga-san was quite sure she had been chewing on her nails before her stardom started.

“There haven’t been anymore disastrous rumours,” she said after a while. “I hear people say that when they see her, she has this faraway look, and that she scares the people she works for.”

Ren chuckled weakly. Mogami-san was scaring people? He had a hard time seeing that. Of course she could make expressions scary enough to make people think twice, Mio was a good example. Maybe Mogami-san was using Mio’s personality to scare people? That sounded more logical.

“Tsuruga-san and Momose-san. It’s soon time for your next scene. Please appear on set in two minutes.”

“Coming,” the two stars said.

The day went on slowly, and still no sign of Mogami-san. Yashiro volunteered to call, but Ren declined. If she was busy they shouldn’t rush her.

It was only when they filmed the last but one scene that Mogami Kyoko finally showed up. Her hair was in disorder from the March wind outside. Yashiro saw her first and discreetly called his charge’s attention.

Mogami-san was smiling at the people greeting her, but the moment Ren saw her smile he felt an almost overwhelming sense of premonition. Mogami-san was smiling, but it wasn’t her usual smile. Ren couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but Mogami-san’s smile was a mask. Having used the same mask since he started his career in Japan, Ren knew the face well.

Ren stood where he stood, waiting for the girl to notice him and smile more genuinely. It was wistful thinking, he knew, but the thought was there none the less.

“Cut.” Director Ogata called and Ren turned to him. The pale man had a furrowed brow, which always meant he wasn’t satisfied. “I’m sorry, Oohara-san, but we need to make another take. Your face is not showing enough contradicting feelings.”

It was the third retake and Ogata wasn’t satisfied still. The frustration and exhaustion was starting to leave marks on Oohara-san’s face. She complained a little, had a word with her manager and then went to get her make-up redone again.

The man she had acted with also stepped down from the scene and was handed a cup from his manager. Ren thought that there almost were as many managers as actors here and the place was crowded. Mogami-san might actually be the only actress without a manager. Even this far into her career, she managed quite well on her own.

Momose-san suddenly realized Kyoko was there and was immediately by her side. Ren watched, unable to hear over the distance, but Mogami-san’s waving hand and apologetic smile made up for that.

The girl suddenly noticed him staring and he smiled as best he could. It was with hesitation she answered his smile.

Momose-san turned to find him watching and immediately pushed her friend towards the male star.

“Hi, Mogami-san,” Ren greeted quietly.

She winced. Only a little, but she did indeed wince, and she kept her gaze on his chest, as if unsure if she should look him in the eyes or to the floor.

“Hi, Tsuruga-san.”

Ren’s manager desperately tried to figure out something to say to break the awkward silence. Kyoko-chan waited for Ren to say something but what could Ren say? The guy was too much of a gentleman to ask all the important questions that had been tormenting him for the last few weeks to throw them into Kyoko-chan’s face, especially not with other people around. Maybe if they were at Ren’s place he could…

“Tsuruga-san.”

“Hm?”

Kyoko’s eyes met her senior’s for a second and then fell back down, all the way to the floor.

“Mogami-san? Are you all right?”

Instead of answering, the girl made an effort to look up, but her eyes couldn’t seem to go farther than his stomach.

Ren started bending down so that he could look into her face.

“Do you love me, Tsuruga-san?”

If manager Yashiro Yukihito had ever pitied his charge before, it was nothing compared to what he felt for him now. Ren was petrified, and that’s an understatement. Mogami-san had just sent him to Heaven to meet the Devil in the flesh. How. On. This. _Earth_ was he supposed to answer?! Yes? Are you alright? I’m in love with you? Did you hit your head? Will you marry me? Are you the Devil? Did you know I wanted to call you? Here and now? Are you making fun of me? No? What did you say? Who are you? You’re the love of my life? Thank you? Your hair is messed up? I do indeed love you? You’re my friend? I was worried about you? This isn’t the right time? Have you any idea of what you just asked? Do you hate me? Why haven’t I heard from you? What did you just say? Are you trying to give me false hope?

_She doesn’t even know you’re lying to her, does she?_

His thoughts stopped and a pair of dark eyes glared at him.

In front of him Kyoko’s shoulders fell as she sighed. “I see. I’m sorry to have bothered you.” And she bowed and turned to leave.

Yashiro panicked and tried to send a telepathic message to Ren; _Do something!_

Before anybody knew what happened, Ren least of all, he had reached out, grabbed the girl’s arm and dragged her off and into his lodge and locked the door.

“Mogami-san. Is something the matter?”

“You’re hurting me!”

Ren looked down on his hand that Mogami-san was already looking at, seeing how her free hand tried to remove his nails from her flesh.

“Gomen!” He instantly released his grip and saw the girl stagger backwards, away from him, and it hurt. “Forgive me, Mogami-san. I…” he had to swallow. “You surprised me. Normally, you wouldn’t say something like that.”

The girl, the no. 1 Love Me member was looking away from him with a tense face while holding her arm. He must have gripped it harder than he realized

_She doesn’t even know you’re lying to her, does she?_

That woman. Why was Mogami's mother in his head now?

“Mogami-san… is this… about your mother?”

It was. Obviously it was. Mogami-san’s eyes instantly sought his, and beyond the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes, Ren could see fear.

“Does your mother… not love you?”

Her head fell so that Ren couldn’t see her eyes, but her lips were pressed tightly together and still trembling. Mogami-san shook her head negative.

Ren remembered the day he had met Mogami-san’s mother too vividly. He had given her a promise, and damn if he was going to keep it. Mogami-san came to him out of her own authority, nothing would change that. She would have his support for as long as she needed it, and if that woman calling herself Mogami-san’s mother tried to hurt Mogami-san, Ren would be right there to fight her back.

“Mogami-san…” he made sure to use a tone of voice that wasn’t too soft. Being soft on Mogami-san right now would only make her cry. “Mogami-san, why would you ask for… I mean… are you looking for other people… who love you?”

Shivers visibly ran down the girl’s spine, but she still managed to nod.

What could he do? He wanted to hold her and say just how much he loved her, but Ren suspected Mogami-san wasn’t asking him for that kind of love. Why would she be in the Love-Me section if she wanted to be loved? Or had the president managed to cure her? No. That was definitely not the case. But why would she ask him such a question? Which led him straight back to the dilemma at hand; what in all hells and heavens should he answer to cheer up the girl, tell her of his feelings and not scare her away?!

“Am I… Tsuruga-san. I have been bothering you a lot,” the girl said, still with her face stubbornly on the floor. He was about to protest when she continued. “Because… Tsuruga-san is nice. The smile you sometimes smiles at me is not the falsely poisonous gentlemanly smile you wear when you’re angry. Because you smiled like that and bullied me, I was certain Tsuruga-san hated me.”

“I don’t hate you, Mogami-san,” Ren interrupted. He had never hated her. Well, before, when all he knew about her was that she entered showbiz to get revenge on Fuwa Sho, he didn’t like her. But that was then and before he knew exactly who she was.

“You did,” the girl said and looked up at him with a dark face. “When we first met I know you hated me.”

So she really was referring to that.

“Um. Well, hate is too strong a word. But…”

“I don’t know… when or why things changed.”

Ren stared at the girl who was once again looking at her feet so that he couldn’t see her face.

“For some reason, everything has changed, ever since I entered showbiz. No. Ever since I overheard Sho telling Shoko-san the truth. Things around me are changing. And that includes myself and you.”

The male star stayed quiet now. The girl was trying hard to find the words to explain herself, and he helped her best by staying quiet and listen.

“And mother doesn’t love me, that’s nothing new to me,” Mogami-san continued with a softer voice. “Ever since I was a child I couldn’t live up to her expectations, in school or at home. I know because I tried so hard. And in the end she left me.”

Silence fell over them. There was a soft buzz of voices outside the door. Mogami-san wasn’t finished, so Ren quietly waited.

“I’ve realized…” the girl said, even quieter than before. Ren had to lean forward in order to hear her properly. “I’ve realized… that throughout my life, I’ve done everything in order to make other people love me, only to realize in the end how futile my efforts were. I did everything, absolutely everything, to make mother smile and praise me, but she left me. I spent most of my life looking after Sho, keeping him alive and helping him live his dreams, and still he left me. My feelings of love have always been one-sided. Moko-san is the first person who hasn’t left me, because she wants to be in the showbiz. She at least… well, she let me love her, and I want to believe that because she keeps talking to me she loves me too…”

Ren stepped forward so that he stood close enough to Mogami-san to put a hand on her head. She looked up at him with surprise. Ren smiled at the look in her eyes.

“I like you a lot, Mogami-san. You’re the kind of girl… that I really… want to take care of.”

It wasn’t really what he wanted to say, but there was no direct lie either, and Mogami-san smiled at him with relief.

“Thank you, Tsuruga-san.”

 

* * *

 

_The dead Saints_ and Fuwa Sho had been hard at work all day, practicing with what members could take part in between photo shots, interviews, ad shots, meetings and preparations of the shooting of the PV in a few days.

In the afternoon Kirill stopped walking and lifted his head. He, Yuni and their translator Malin came straight from an interview.

“Kirill? Did something happen?”

“Naw, not really,” the tall man said, smiling at the warmth and relief that filled the voice of Mogami Kyoko. Yuni had told him her name. “Seems like Mogami is healing a little,” he explained to the little woman’s questioning face.

Upon hearing the name, Yuni smiled too.

“I wish her the best of luck,” she said, and Kirill nodded.

 

* * *

 

Kirra, the Black Goddess, was getting ready for work when the pained, anxious colours of her prey changed into relief and happiness. But in difference to her brother, she knew better than to wish the girl luck.

“Enjoy the warmth while it lingers, Kioko-chan,” she whispered and secured her 44 before hiding it on herself. “It’s far from over yet.”


	17. Gathering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have I said anything about this story not being beta-read? Well, it isn't. I'm doing the best I can, but if you still detect anything off in the grammar or language, please don't hesitate to tell me :) Oh, but that I've sometimes written Kilill-san, that's on purpose, as I'm pretty sure I've mentioned before?

Kotonami Kanae had had a very bad day. A worse than bad day. It was positively a day when she should have loved to stay in bed or gotten sick or anything.

First her favourite shoes broke when she put them on, forcing her to change her entire outfit and run to make it to work on time. Second, two make-up artists had been home with sick children, leaving only two to work with nine people, so Kanae had had to do her own make-up to save some time, and she had been the only one! The male actors refused to do their own make-up, Hiou-kun didn’t know how to put it on and the other actresses hadn’t even considered wasting their own make-up.

Cheap bitches all of them!!!

Third, there were two stupider than whatnot rumours going around. One about her being a lesbian and the other about her being a paedophile. She knew who was spreading around the last one. And ever since that accidental kiss with that girl there had been whispers around her and fellow actresses either tried to avoid or come closer.

Kotonami Kanae knew exactly who was a lesbian and who was not by now!

Hiou-kun was in a strange state of mind too. He stayed close one minute only to tell her to stay away in the next. And like sent from hell, that jerk among big jerks had started bothering her again. Had his parents never taught him the meaning of “no”?!

Kanae was in the Love-Me dressing room changing into the detested pink overall, an article of clothing that wasn’t as detestable as it had once been, and thought; _If I ever hear his stupid voice calling my name again I swear I will…_

“Moko-san!”

“SHUT UP! WHY DON’T YOU JUST DIE!!!? Mo…!”

_Moko?_

The face that was looking at her was not the one her outburst had been meant for. It wasn’t even the usual painfully hurt face.

Kanae would actually have preferred the hurt face.

Kyoko’s posture was petrified and her face frozen in a smile that didn’t match the look in her eyes. Kanae swore she could see fear in those wide-open eyes. Her words had struck something really deep.

Kanae wanted to apologize, tell her she didn’t mean it or to not mind it, that it was only something she said because she couldn’t control her tongue like normal people, that she still wasn’t used to be someone’s friend. But she was just as petrified and stunned as the girl in front of her. She had forgotten how to form words.

Then Kyoko’s hand suddenly started moving again. Slowly withdrawing. It was like seeing a black hole swallowing all the light around. The face that had been screaming with frozen emotion quieted down into something dark, lonely and unreachable.

Still frozen. Still petrified. Still stunned. Kanae couldn’t move. Couldn’t apologize or take the words back or anything of what ran through her mind half-done or even say her name.

She had never called Kyoko by name.

The door closed quietly behind the short-haired girl. It would have been better if it had slammed shut. It would have been better if she had glared. It would have been better if she had said something. Anything. A snort would have been better than the silence and the quiet shutting of a door that had always been open. Had she started taking for granted the door into Kyoko’s heart would always be open for her? Because that girl had been begging for friendship?

Kanae didn’t notice she was crying until she saw herself in a mirror.

 

* * *

 

That night, prepared and ready to go, Mogami Kyoko sat by her table staring at five round pills lying in a neat line before a small medicine bottle.

Drugs.

The Black Goddess had been very clear and precise about them. Swallowed with alcohol would worsen the effect, but Kyoko hadn’t dared to ask for saké. Even with her heart feeling cold and too big to fit in her chest, she had enough sense left to know asking for alcohol would cause questions and concern. So Kyoko had a bottle of water at hand instead.

One pill; your heart will race.

Two pills; your sight will suffer…

 

* * *

 

The next day Kyoko slept in, and Okami-san was worried about the difficulty of waking the girl up. But what was more concerning was how the tidy Kyoko-chan lay sprawled on her bed, on top of the comforter and holding onto it like she was in pain.

What really awoke the girl in the end was a phone call from a Shiva-san that Kyoko-chan would miss the bus if she couldn’t get her ass over there in twenty minutes.

When the girl rushed out, sloppily dressed and carrying the two bags she had prepared the evening before, Okami-san sighed deeply and started to put the room back in order. There was a bottle on the table, half filled with water. On the other end of the table lay the list she remembered from before, but it had changed a little.

*Moko-san X

*Okami-san and boss

*Tsuruga-san ?

*President ?

*Amamiya-san

*Yashiro-san

*Bridge Rock X

*Director Ogata-san

*Momose-san

*Oohara-san

*Shiva-san

*Maria-chan !

*

 

* * *

 

_Always a child_ was once again going to shoot on location, this time a very special one. Kyoko had researched all she could about the place. According to all sources the location was akin to a military base, the one running it even being a former military captain, hence the nickname; Captain Latch.

Shiva-san had said she had been to the place once before, and that the captain was a great person keeping her staff under strict discipline which made the location the most effective in all of Japan. There were never trouble with the staff or equipment, and it was made solely for filming.

Apparently there was also a grand area for passing time with exercise and one for camping. The staff members seemed to appreciate that more than the actors and directors.

The only small trouble was that the location was in Kyushu, the island as far south as you could possibly come in Japan. But it was the perfect place to shoot the scenes between Aiko and her father and another few emotional scenes.

Kyoko sat in the bus beside Shiva-san and worried about the day before, last night and how she felt now.

It had been painful. The Goddess had said nothing about it being painful. But on the other hand, if Kyoko had thought more about it, she might have realized that it wasn’t medicine she was taking.

Even now, after sleeping through the night and sitting on a bus for three hours already, she could feel the effects in her heart and see what had happened with her eyes.

Her heart was beating faster than normal, making her feel hot. Almost feverish.

Her sight was different, uncontrollably going in and out of focus, causing her motion-sickness.

“Kyoko-chan. Have you been working harder than normal lately?” Shiva-san asked out of the blue.

“Huh? No. Nothing out of the ordinary.”

The image of Shiva-san was blurred, so Kyoko automatically rubbed her eyes.

“Are you sure. You are usually so full of spirit. Have you caught something?”

Caught something? Yes, Kyoko thought to herself. She had caught something, and wished that it could be a cold instead of the curse that had been put on her. She must have crossed paths with some evil demons somewhere, right before her mother came to find her.

“Kyoko-chan?”

“Huh? Oh, sorry. It’s nothing, Shiva-san. I’m just feeling a little under the weather.”

“Under the weather? Are you having troubles at home?”

Kyoko flinched involuntarily. “No… it’s nothing.”

Shiva-san looked at her with a frown of concern, but in the end she only sighed. “If you wish to talk about it, I’m here to listen.”

“Ah. Thank you, Shiva-san.”

_“SHUT UP! WHY DON’T YOU JUST DIE!!!?”_

That’s what Moko-san had said yesterday, and she had meant it. Even if she regretted saying those words, she had meant them. In her heart, Kyoko was still in shock. She knew Moko-san wasn’t… she wouldn’t just start loving anybody. Moko-san had never taken Kyoko’s name in her mouth, never touched her if it wasn’t to make her keep a distance. Kyoko knew, Moko-san had never loved her, even if she had accepted that Kyoko was around, and she had been giving good advices, had been kind and reliable. Moko-san had been Kyoko’s first friend, and Kyoko had pretended that her feelings were mutual.

In her chest, Kyoko’s heart sped up even more. Her body grew hotter. Her face was burning. She felt like she was going to get sick.

A cool hand touched her forehead.

“Kyoko-chan, you’re really hot. Should I ask them to stop the bus for a moment?”

“No. Please don’t. This is nothing.”

_“WHY DON’T YOU JUST DIE!!!?”_

She was going to throw up real soon.

“Oi! Stop the bus! Kyoko-chan is about to get sick!”

Kyoko was only aware of the spinning in her head, the pain in her chest, and could only faintly feel the hands that held her up, and then cool air hit her face and she landed on all four on cold ground and emptied her stomach.

In that moment, Kyoko was blind. It lasted for only a moment, but she was blind. In front of her was nothing, even when she knew her eyes were open. She could hear concerned voices and somebody said something about motion-sickness and Shiva-san’s aggravated voice.

Kyoko threw up again and wondered if the drugs were among the contents that came up.

Something really cold was placed in her neck, and it felt good. Her sight was coming back, slowly. She still couldn’t really understand what she saw, but she knew it moved, so it had to be people.

“Kyoko-chan, can you hear me?”

Shiva-san’s voice.

“Hai. Sorry for all the trouble.”

Even with an ice-pack to her neck and leaned onto the chest of one of the male staff members, Kyoko still had mind enough to think about her surroundings. Shiva Io could only shake her head in wonder. The staff member’s diagnose was that Kyoko-chan had a bad case of fever and should be kept cool for the remainder of the trip. Since they had stopped, they would arrive later than planned if the roads weren’t free.

But there was something else that worried the actress. Kyoko’s eyes were flickering around, following movements but didn’t seem able to focus properly, and she rubbed them with short intervals. Shiva tested her theory and waved a hand in front of the younger actress’s face.

Kyoko blinked her eyes like in surprise and the squinted. She didn’t know what had passed before her face.

“Can you see? How many fingers do you see?”

It required concentration, and Kyoko lifted her hand and found Shiva’s after a slight blind search. Shiva met the gaze of the man holding an icepack against Kyoko-chan’s neck.

“Two!” Kyoko-chan suddenly answered happily. “I can see again.”

“How do you feel, Kyouko-san?” the staff member asked softly. “Do you still feel sick or hot?”

“I’m still a little hot,” the girl confessed. “But I don’t feel sick anymore.”

“Mogami-chan. I’m sorry to ask this when you’re not well. Was that an attack of motion-sickness?”

It was a good explanation. It was what everybody suspected already. Sunawa-san, the make-up artist, had asked about it once before. These people didn’t need to know about the curse that had been put on her, making her sick.

“Yes. Sorry.”

“Good. Then you can take a seat in the front of the bus.”

The director turned to the man still holding the young talent to ask if she would need any special treatment, and that maybe he should sit beside her to keep an eye on Mogami-chan’s condition. But Shiva didn’t listen. She could see it on Kyoko-chan’s face. It was a lie that she suffered from motion-sickness.

Back inside the bus, Kyoko got the seat in the far front of the bus with a cool, wet towel wrapped around her neck and the ice pack on her forehead. She slept through most of the trip after that.

 

* * *

 

Fuwa Sho was getting annoyed. Last night Kilill-san had fainted. Just like that. One moment they were checking the cloths for the PV, in the next the Russian man sprung up, yelling something and then passed out. Ivy had been fast and caught the man, surprising Sho with her strength even when she was so much smaller than Kilill-san.

Now they were in their separate busses on their way south. The longest and most boring trip ever, but Asami-san had insisted that it was the perfect place. They could have taken the flight and been there within five hours, but apparently there had been some kind of accident and the police had found flaws in the Japanese planes flying within the country, so no planes were flying right now.

While Sho lay in the back of the van, Shoko sat behind the driver sulking and thinking of the Russian lead singer and of _The dead Saints_. She had wanted everyone to go in the same bus, but that Ivy had refused. Now she, Asami-san, the film team and Sho was stuck in one bus while the Russians and the instruments were stuffed together in a second one. And those guys, Kilill-san included, had actually said they were looking forward to the ride!

The manager shook her head, in her heart feeling jealousy that just wouldn’t go away. She had tried. God knows she had tried to catch Kilill-san’s attention with every legal act of seduction, but he wouldn’t look past the girls of the band. The children were one thing, Shoko could forgive them. But Sky-kun; beautiful like a day in spring when the sun was shining and the cherry blossoms bloomed, her wavy, glossy black hair, her wide blue eyes holding so much power, beautifully pale skin with only a few moles on her arms,  her perfectly shaped face and body. And the way Kilill-san sometimes looked at her. That was unforgivable.

Cono-san; slender and dark with purple eyes full of secrets and naughtiness, her white teeth that flashed every time she smiled, her body that moved so gracefully, her elegant stance and gait, the way she swung her hips and pushed her chest out, the way she liked to tie her shirt up to expose her stomach during practice. And the way Kilill-san would laugh when she did. That was unforgivable.

Ivy. The poisonous woman who kept Kilill-san in a leach. She was the one Shoko couldn’t ever forgive. If it wasn’t for Ivy, maybe Kilill-san would be freer to get a proper life and find himself a good woman. Shoko definitely saw herself as that woman. She was good at taking care of people, so even if Kilill-san had some sort of attack, she would always be there to make everything right. She could take care of the girls too. Both of them were above two years of age; the hardest time to be a parent, so it would be a piece of cake to take care of them. Shoko could be the perfect mother for those girls, and the perfect wife for Kilill-san.

 

* * *

 

While Shoko simmered with jealousy, Sho tried to sleep and the rest of the staff tried to pass the time, _The dead Saints_ were wholeheartedly enjoying themselves to the point the driver was scared. The poor man was stiff and tried to focus his concentration on the road he was supposed to keep the van on. Beside him sat his partner, the second driver since they had to go for more than eight hours straight, and he was happy as long as he didn’t have to drive with the crazy lot they had in the back.

Driving a van full of musicians had never been an easy job and the two drivers had seen most of what it meant. Musicians would pick up their instruments and start to rock, or get themselves really drunk and on occasion needing to throw up. They could be arguing to actually fighting, or they could be high on drugs where alcohol worsened the effect.

In the back of the van the Russian group were singing and dancing. Especially that dark skinned woman. She knew how to shake her cute little butt and bring her boobs into the centre of attention, and dancing around dressed in only jeans and a white bra exposing smooth skin and a beautifully elegant body didn’t help the poor driver’s need to keep his eyes on the road.

Kirill was in heaven. Caught for almost twenty hours in a van with his band and a lot of instruments was a dream come true. Because like this, enclosed with the happy voices of his friends and his own excitement, not even the strongest of negative voices from outside could reach him.

They had started the first two hours clearing their voices by singing _Mon Siñore,_ _Nobody’s scared of the big bad wolf_ and _t.A.T.u’s_ _Nas ne dragoniat (All the things she said)_ , now Yuni was let loose on a bongo drum, Kirill on a banjo and Malin doing bellydance in the middle. The man did pity Ivy a bit for not being able to see Malin dance, even in a normal bra and jeans instead of the whole bellydance getup. Elexa was cheering happily with Zoya, and Ivy was actually also enjoying herself. These were the times Kirill lived for; only them and music, singing and dancing.

Malin finished her dance by sending kisses to the children who cheered loudly.

“Yuni do the rap!” Elexa called out and was backed up by everybody else, Ivy included. The drummer didn’t resist much.

“But you help me along,” she said and started drumming again.

There was this Swedish rap that was really funny to listen to because it was mixed with English and full of nonsense words and stupid rhymes and famous names like Elton John and Clint Eastwood. Even if Kirill didn’t know all the words he did know a few Swedish slang words thanks to this rap. And everyone sang along in the first line.

“Jag diggar dig, jag diggar dig, jag digg, digg, diggar dig. Jag digg, diggelidi, di diggar dig så smått.”

Malin helped where she could so that Yuni would have time to catch her breath. Rap wasn’t easy, plus it being in Swedish, but it was so funny all of them were left laughing far before the rap ended. Ivy tried a few lyrics and it sounded so hilarious that Yuni laughed until she couldn’t keep drumming. Ivy laughed too, not as loudly, but she was laughing, and when Kirill tried the same line, she threw her head back in laugher because she knew he couldn’t get it right either.

After that they followed up with a wild waltz where Malin danced with first Elexa and then Ivy. Then they changed players and Kirill got to dance with Yuni and afterward both of his little ones at the same time, carrying one on each arm.

Malin bravely tried to sing and dance the Turkish _Simarik_ with Yuni’s drums, but failed when she was gasping more than singing and the gang was once again rolling about in a laugh.

Nobody knew for how long they went on, but they were going through all the versions they knew of an upbeat children’s song when Ivy told them to calm down for a moment. Kirill handed her his acoustic guitar and the blind woman started singing.

Big Boss Ivy could sing so softly, Kirill still hadn’t gotten quite used to it. She had a hard shell and a bad attitude, but was a good person.

In the front, the drivers sighed in relief when the band in the back finally calmed down. Sure, they played great music, but did they really have to dance? At least now the blind woman was singing something that sounded like a lullaby. It was calming for the men’s nerves.

Ivy finished singing and listened to the soft sounds of breathing.

“You and I are the only ones still awake,” Yuni said and Ivy heard how she moved about, putting the rest of the band members in more comfortable positions probably.

“We could use a nap too. We don’t know how much time it will take before we can go to sleep tonight.”

“Sounds nice. Even if it’s a pity spending our time together like this sleeping.”

“We’ve had lots of fun already,” Ivy argued calmly.

“I know. The muscles of my stomach hurt when I breathe and my make-up is ruined from laughing till I cried.”

Ivy heard the drummer open a zipper and rustle with something large and soft, probably a felt or Ivy’s mohair shawl. A felt it turned out as Yuni swept it around the keyboarder’s shoulders.

“Ivy, there’s one thing I’d like to talk to you about,” Yuni suddenly confessed.

“What’s this, fighter? Is Malin giving you the cold shoulder?”

“Not funny. It’s about Kirill and why we’re in Japan of all places.”

Ivy stayed silent. This was actually nothing new. It happened, on rare occasion, that she and Yuni actually had a normal conversation without getting angry with each other. On very rare occasion.

“Obviously, Kirill had an uncle in a relationship with a Japanese woman.”

“That’s what you said to get me me to agree to go here,” Ivy nodded.

“Well you wouldn’t give in until I gave you a good enough reason, but that aside. The whole kidnapping drama. Kirill told me about it. The one who had taken him was, as Malin told us, a former solder. Kirill said her real name is Kirra Lastotjka. Do you recognize the name?”

The blind woman leaned forward to rest her chin on her white stick.

“There were more than one Lastotjka included in my pluton.”

“I figured as much. Your last mission was a death quest ordered by a Colonel Highland?”

Ivy’s hand tightened around the hold of her stick. “That’s right. None of us ever liked Highland. Stuck-up asshole. Misogynist is the easiest way to describe him, and since we were a section made solely of women… I think you can guess what he thought of it.”

“Pretty much. So what happened?”

Ivy's shoulders jerked in a stiff imitation of a shrug. “It was a good plan to get rid of us. We were just enough people to make three groups and form an attack strategy. We would take out as many high-ups as we could and die trying to get to the top. All of us were aware of it, and the general… agreed to the plan.”

Yuni waited quietly. This wasn’t easy on Ivy either, but at least she was willing to tell.

“How many do you know survived?”

“Including me… five… out of thirty-eight.”

Yuni nodded slowly. So four people besides Ivy had somehow survived the quest.

“You want to know if there was any Lastotjka among the other survivors, do you not?”

In that moment Yuni thought Ivy being blind was a good thing. That way she didn’t see Yuni’s face redden in shame. “Yes, please.”

“None.”

A straight and honest answer. No reason to hide it. It was what Yuni had wanted to know after all, even though it wasn’t clearing up the mess as she had hoped.

“I was Lieutenant-Colonel commanding the pluton and was included in the first group,” Ivy suddenly continued softly. “If I recall correctly, there were a total of five Lastotjka; one included in the first group, two in the second and third. Akilina Lastotjka.”

“Was she the one in your group?”

Ivy nodded in confirmation.

“How did she die?”

“She survived an explosion, lost both legs though. I shot her in the head. Wouldn’t have survived in that place anyway.”

Goosebumps covered Yuni’s arms as cold shivers ran down her spine. She supposed Ivy had been merciful, but it didn’t stop the act from being murder of a comrade, and one of Kirill’s sisters. It couldn’t have been easy on Ivy either. Not for any soldier forced on a death quest, not to mention the leader.

“After that, when all of us were killed or disabled, the enemy gathered the ones still alive and tortured us to death. I don’t know if it was God or the Devil who saved me in the end, but a company of soldiers came. I can’t tell who they were or where they came from. Had lost my eyes by then. I only recall a loud explosion, gunshots and yells… I was freed from whatever I was stuck to, rolled up in material and taken away. It took me a long time to realize those people weren’t going to continue the torture. I managed to get my mind together to work enough for me to think at the matters closest at hand. Asking for the survivors took some time, but I got to talk to them… the two of them sane enough to talk. The others still believed they were captured and pleaded for death. I was told one of them died later on and I was moved to another camp, to get me back home, shortly after.”

With a sigh, Yuni decided to leave it at that. Even if Ivy’s voice was calm and cool, her hands gripped around her stick until the knuckles whitened and she was rocking. Being sent to a death quest must have caused Ivy so much pain, because she was the one in charge of those women.

“Alright Ivy. But did Kirill tell you about the one who kidnapped him?”

“You’re the mother around here.”

“For a good reason, growler. Yes, he told me. Kirra Lastotjka told him that she and an older sister named Faina Lastotjka somehow survived. Apparently the tags changed owners and the ones reported dead were the ones missing.”

Ivy was quiet for a long time. Yuni silently watched the subtle signs of relief in the former Lieutenant-Colonel’s face and body language.

“Is that so?”

Yuni smiled. Never before had she heard tears in Ivy’s voice. She had a hard shell and a bad temper, an almost non-existent fuse and didn’t make much of an effort about anything besides music, but Yuni supposed even a bitter woman like Ivy had heart enough to care about life.

“Okay. That’s it for now. I’ll try to keep you updated. Now both of us could need some sleep.”

“You know I hate it when you take command.”

“And you know I love it,” Yuni snorted back and curled up in a seat. “Sleep tight, growler.”

“You too, fighter.”

 

* * *

 

There was a third party travelling the same distance as Kyoko and Sho; a drama team. The director had said he had been working for a whole year in order to convince the owner of the campus to let him shoot some parts of his drama there. How he at long last managed was a secret, but his assistant had leaked that it was because the owner had wanted a full house, and that they could come as a fill up to give her staff a good workout.

“I pity the director a little,” an actress mumbled and glanced at the man by her side. A blush covered her cheeks at the sight of him sleeping peacefully. It made her heart flutter.

“I envy you,” the woman sitting in front of the actress hissed. “How come you get to sit beside Tsuruga-san?”

“Because the director made up the seating. Since I’m acting against Tsuruga-san, he saw it fit that we got to know each other better.”

Tsuruga Ren kept his eyes closed, faking sleep so that he didn’t have to be polite for the moment, as worried about Mogami-san as he was. Last night he had tried to call her, three times, but she hadn’t picked up. He had wanted to call until she answered, but didn’t want to be a bother. Still, a Mogami-san that didn’t answer her phone when she was off work was not that usual anymore. She had gotten used to the thing. It was only the last couple of weeks that she had started to… become distant.

The cold knot in Ren’s stomach tightened. A few days ago the president had contacted him about Mogami-san.

The pressure on Mogami-san was very high right now. Not being allowed to stay in showbiz was painful enough for both Mogami-san and him, but forced to return to Kyoto, that was a thought Ren just wouldn’t tolerate. If Mogami-san returned to Kyoto, just when would they ever be able to meet again?

 

* * *

 

She slowly awoke from the hand lightly shaking her.

“Kyoko-chan, we’re almost there,” Shiva-san’s soft voice sounded in the next seat.

The girl opened her eyes. Shiva-san’s face was close and blurred. Kyoko couldn’t read her expression.

“How long was I out?”

“Almost ten hours. Kyoko-chan, haven’t you slept properly? You slept in this morning too.”

This morning? Surprised Kyoko realized that it wasn’t only her sight that was blurry. She remembered Moko-san screaming that she wanted her dead. After that there were no really clear memories. No images, sounds, smells, emotions. Nothing but a mess of everything blurred together.

And where were they?

Shiva couldn’t deny she was concerned. Since morning… for a long time now, Kyoko-chan had seemed withdrawn, like she was grieving. Of course Shiva had heard most of the rumours going on about the girl, and most of the time she found them unbelievable. Especially the rumours about Kyoko’s whoring around were doubtable. Kyoko-chan was modest, and very shy, and completely oblivious to the director’s and that make-up artist’s flirts and tries to bed her. Kyoko-chan was not a whore, not lesbian, and first and foremost not walking the easy path to reach the top. The teenager was honestly working her butt off to make the best possible scenes. Never arrogant, never haughty and always polite. A high-class actress.

The bus stopped. They had arrived to a parking lot and the equipment vans followed closely. The director stood beside the bus-driver.

“Alright everybody. Please try to be as effective as possible. Captain Latch is not a patient woman and will only give orders once. She hates to repeat herself so make sure you listen carefully and obey her every word. If you all do good we will all be treated well and have what we ask for. If not there is a chance we’ll be kicked out heads first. Everybody got that? Good. Move out and stand in a line behind the bus.”

For some reason, being ordered to move was the same as being free to talk. All around the bus actors and staff members started moving and talking, filling the bus with a level of sound that hadn’t been heard during the entire trip. Kyoko’s sight cleared, but her heart sped up when she started moving. She and Shiva-san were the only ones not saying a word as they left the bus. Some people tried to ask Shiva-san about this or that, but she wouldn’t answer.

As they were finally off the bus they faced two vans already there. “Akatoki Agency” was clear to read on the side that faced the team. At first Kyoko couldn’t quite grasp what that meant and therefore only stared. But the people lined up there were people she recognized; Malin-san, Sky-kun, Elekka-chan and Soya-chan, a sturdy woman with a black cloth covering her eyes and Kirill-san. _The dead Saints_. Malin-san and Sky-kun were caught up in a discussion, or rather, Sky-kun apparently tried to explain something to Malin-san.

Beside them stood a very familiar person; Sho Fuwa.

Kyoko hadn’t seen him in some time, as usual. He looked the same, with a sense of annoyance. The sight of him had always caused Kyoko to react in one way or another. But before she always wanted to run over to him, to hug him when she loved, to beat the living daylights out of his ass after being deceived. Now she wanted nothing but to be left unnoticed. She couldn’t face him right now. Him or all the emotions that he came along with.

Because Fuwa Shotaru knew her mother.

“Kyoko-chan? Are you feeling sick again?”

“Huh? Oh, no, not at all, Shiva-san. I’m fine. Really.”

Shiva-san wasn’t convinced, but didn’t press.

Another number of busses arrived, belonging to L.M.E. Out stepped around thirty people, Tsuruga Ren being one of them. Kyoko felt like she was caught between a hungry monster and a spiked wall.

She hadn’t spoken to Tsuruga-san since the incident of her being attacked. Nobody had asked about it either. If Tsuruga-san spoke to her, what would she say? What should she do? What if Tsuruga Ren’s fans tried to separate them again? Her mother wouldn’t save her a second time.

“EVERYBODY ATTENTION!”

Everybody within hearing range shivered and stood at strict attention, staring with wide eyes at the group of people approaching in a march, led by one giant of a woman. Her hair was short and pale blond, her skin dark from the sun, a hard face, broad over the shoulders, muscular arms and legs. Dressed in boots, military green shorts, a black tank top, wristbands and dog tags, she made quite the intimidating image. Being taller than all the men only fed her authority.

They stopped right in front of Kyoko’s team, since they were in the middle.

“I am Latch Faina, owner of Kioku, filming location for movies, dramas and music videos. Three parties have arrived here today. Responsible directors come to me.”

Miruki Asami from Akatoki Agency, Sou Akira and another director from L.M.E stepped up to the tall woman. Captain Latch waved three of her own men away with Asami-san. Asked the director Kyoko didn’t know the name of for something before waving him off in the other direction. Both along with their crew.

Sou Akira stood in front of the location’s owner looking very small. He threw himself out of the way when the woman stepped forward.

“Male actors step forward!”

They did, all five of them. The man playing Aiko’s father, his father and brother and the ones playing neighbour father and son.

“Step back. Female actors step forward!”

Kyoko and Shiva-san took a step forward along with the woman playing the neighbour’s wife and the girl playing little Aiko.

“Step back. Assisting directors, step forward!”

Two people.

“Step back. Stage designers, step forward!”

Ten people.

“Step back. Make-up staff, step forward!”

Sunawa Mikado and another three people obeyed.

“Step back. Costume manager with staff, step forward!”

Five.

“Step back. There are three main rules at this base. One; eating is forbidden everywhere but inside the restaurant and cafeteria. Water only is allowed on the sets. Two; you take care of your trash and throw it in the cans. People who carelessly throw their trash around for others to pick up will receive _one_ warning. Recurring trashing will have you thrown out of here heads first and all progress made here will be destroyed. Three; I am no caretaker. You look after your own people and equipment. Other rules. Shooting at night must be green-lit by me. All activity is reported to me. I will provide you with possible stand-ins, stuntmen, equipment and advice as long as these rules are followed. Understood?”

“Hai!” everybody called.

“Quietly follow me to your sleeping quarters.”

The woman turned and started walking. Everybody else hurried to pick up their bags to follow, but they also started talking.

Captain Latch spun around. “SILENCE!”

Kyoko hadn’t heard silence before now. It felt like even the winds stopped breathing.

The tall woman continued to walk. She led them through a wide gate with the kanji Kioku, “memory”, encircled at the top, passed the first defense line made of high trees and down a concreted pathway until they arrived to a collection of cottages. Here the captain stopped and turned to face the people who had followed her until everybody was there. Kyoko did feel hot and tired, but not enough to be as worn out from the walk as some others were.

“Listen up. This is your base where nobody from the other teams is allowed to enter. Equipment is stored in cottage B. Cottages 1-6 are prepared for you and you yourselves arrange where you sleep. Every cottage has one bathroom and 6 beds. Questions?”

The captain’s eyes swept over the people until they pinned down someone. Kyoko couldn’t see since she was in the front line.

“Is there a TV here?”

“Yes, every cottage has a TV, albeit only old ones and no wide choice of channels. Yes?”

“Is there a washing machine?”

“Do your laundry at home. Any more questions? Good. There is a list of names and phone numbers in every cottage. If there is something you need, call. Now settle in and one of my men will pick you up for a tour around the area in one hour.”

The woman marched straight through the filming staff and everybody stepped aside to let her through. When she passed Kyoko, their eyes locked for a brief second.

 

* * *

 

It was early evening when three people hesitantly entered Daruma-Ya.

“Good evening, guests,” Okami-san smiled at them. “How can I help you?”

The shortest of the three guys glanced around before he answered. “Suimasen, but does Mogami Kyoko live here?”

“Well yes. She is not home right now however.”

The three glanced at each other.

“Okay. When does she come back?”

“In a few days, I’m afraid.”

At that, the three men all hung their heads and moaned.

“Is there a problem? Would you like to sit down?”

“There isn’t really a problem,” the man with a hat said and sat down. “We just think there has been a… bad sort of misunderstanding.”

“Between you and Kyoko-chan?” Okami-san asked. In the back of her head she thought she recognized the boys. Probably from TV if they were friends of Kyoko-chan’s.

The third guy, one with his black hair carefully styled in spikes, sat down heavily and ordered pork ramen. “She hasn’t told you?” he asked.

“That girl doesn’t share her business at work with us,” the chef stated noncommittally.

“…oh.”

Seemingly not knowing what to do, the other two boys ordered ramen too.

“Has she been acting strange lately? Kyoko-chan, I mean,” the short man asked carefully as he received his beef ramen.

Okami-san glanced towards her husband. “Please tell me what happened.”

 

* * *

 

Shiva-san was elegantly braiding her hair by the edge of her bed, and Kyoko cursed her newly lowered level of sight. She could only see the shadow of her senior and therefore couldn’t analyse the actress’s way of braiding.

“Kyoko-chan, are you still feeling sick?”

“Eh? Oh, not at… yes, a little bit. But it will pass soon. I’ve been drinking a lot of water and a bit of sleep will do me real good.”

And after saying that, there was no way Kyoko could stay up even though she wanted to. Making Shiva-san worry more than she already did would be bad.

“Shiva-san, the director just called me. You are expected on set six o’clock in the morning. Please do your make-up on set.”

Kyoko recognized the voice of Shiva-san’s manager; a man so different from Yashiro-san that they could come from different planets. Yashiro-san was a really nice person who cared a lot for Tsuruga-san. Shiva-san’s manager, Kyoko hadn’t caught his name, cared very little for anything but work. His way of being polite was very distant and cold. He always stood somewhere in the shadows, so Kyoko never saw him unless he was talking to Shiva-san.

“Captain Latch is a very precise woman,” the manager said. “The set has been prepared to a T. Sou-sama has not found a single speck of dust to complain about.”

The captain. She was…. Kyoko couldn’t find a word for it. It was almost like familiarity.  When their eyes had met that only second, a word or maybe even a name had appeared in Kyoko’s mind, but it had been gone the moment she lost the eye contact, only then making her aware of it.

As if she didn’t have enough problems on her own already. Her affected sight and rapid heartbeat, her mother’s wish, what she herself wanted and acting out a girl trying to hold on to something just to have it turned to dust in her hands. As if that wasn’t enough, Sho was here. Tsuruga-san was here. The possibility of running into one or both of them in the free time was high. And the captain on top of it. Kyoko had a feeling that the captain would be involved somewhere in her messy life.

_What am I going to do?_

 

* * *

 

The owners of Daruma-Ya were preparing for bed. They had closed the restaurant, locked everywhere, cleaned up and were now very tired. But Okami-san doubted she would get much sleep that night.

“Darling. Kyoko-chan will only be gone for a few days. What are we going to do when she comes back?”

The man grunted. He didn’t know either. However, he was quite certain those three boys hadn’t been lying.

_“Those rumours about Kyoko-chan being a whore… that she managed to enter L.M.E because of that… of course we never believed them because… well we know her better than that.”_

The truth in that was that Mogami Kyoko was not a whore. There had never been as much as a hint of a love-bite on her neck or marks on her fingers or around the mouth. Because that girl was gentle and modest. A hard worker. Such a girl would never come up with the thought of seducing and even less selling her body for her career.

That’s why her sudden quitting the business was unbelievable.

Okami-san turned out the light and lay down on her futon.

_“Kyoko-chan thinks we don’t like her and she’s really angry. But we really want her to come working with us again.”_

For some reason that had made her think about that list she found in Kyoko-chan’s room. The names with crosses. Could that list really be of people Kyoko-chan liked? That would make the crossed names the people she thought didn’t like her back. There were question marks on a few names too.

“Darling. I… I think we must tell her that we like her a lot. That we are sad to see her leave.”

A long silence.

“I think you’re right.”


	18. Kioku, the memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So even more OCs have appeared. I hope you can all still keep up with the way the story goes. And with my poor imagination...

Kilill-san had been very quiet ever since they arrived. Sho couldn’t help but notice, especially when he watched Shoko try to talk to the Russian man, or more precisely seduce him, and Kilill-san flatly ignored her.

They were all set to start filming. It was night-time and the crescent moon was clear in the sky. It was a good night for their new song; _Your killing kiss_ , Kilill-san’s music and Sho’s lyrics. Or rather; Sho’s lyrics edited by Malin-kun. Sky-kun had even gone through the trouble to teach him the correct pronouncing. That’s why he had only made one song fully in English and the other five in his own language with only the refrain in English. Language was so hard!

The first scene was already starting; Lecchan playing the flute. She was pretty good, for a kid. They worked for an hour before Sho realized they had audience. He had just finished a scene and went to find some water when the captain herself suddenly emerged from the darkness. Sho just barely managed to stop a yelp from escaping him.

“Did I scare you?”

“Ah? No, I was… I was just surprised!” Sho answered.

The captain walked up to him with a bottle of water, and for the first time since he turned fifteen, Fuwa Sho had to bend his neck back to look a woman in the eyes. Hers were dully blue.

“Is there a problem?” she asked.

“No… not at all.”

“Faina.”

Sho turned around at the sound of Kilill-san’s voice. The man was unusually pale and staring at the captain with a wistful look in his eyes.

The captain spoke Russian. Sho had listened to the band for long enough to know it was Russian. Kilill-san nodded at whatever the captain said and the woman turned and left.

“What was that all about?”

“Nothing, Fuva. There is much work left. Let work hard.”

Puzzled Sho stared after the Russian man until Shoko called for him.

 

* * *

 

Sometime past midnight Kirill followed a young man to the place the captain; Faina Latch, had called him to. The place turned out to be a cottage apart from the rest.

“The captain is expecting you,” the young man said curtly.

“Thank you,” Kirill said and took a step towards the door.

“Be careful. She’s been in a bad mood for some time.”

“Huh?”

But the man was already striding away into the darkness. Kirill stared after him in bewilderment. That had almost sounded like a comment of jealousy. Shaking his head Kirill knocked on the door.

“Just a moment!”

It was her voice.

To tell the truth, he had been so shocked when he saw her upon arriving here. Kirra had mentioned it just weeks ago that Faina was alive. He had been searching for his sisters for ten years, and suddenly he has found two; the ones he thought were dead.

It was almost too much for his heart to take.

The door opened and a pair of greyish eyes met his blue ones.

“Good. You’re here. Please come in and make yourself at home.”

It felt like stepping straight into the past. Faina had always been pedantic and hated the cute things most girls would have everywhere in their rooms. Not that the room was plain. The two bookshelves had something that looked like personal reports hanging in needles; he recognized Fuva’s face among the pictures. A big, black desk with an accompanying filled trashcan stood in one corner, a bed with a deep-purple cover in another. There was even a purple armchair with a natural-coloured coffee-table covered with some kind of paperwork. Everything in neat heaps.

“You haven’t changed much, Faina,” he said.

“That will always be open for discussion. That aside. What are you doing in Japan?”

No, something really had changed. As the woman took the chair from the desk and placed it in front of the coffee-table and the armchair, Kirill noticed the anxiousness in her movements. It was the first time he saw Faina so obviously emotionally unbalanced.

“The same as you and Kirra, I suppose. Looking for…”

“Kirra?”

He looked up. Faina had almost seated in the armchair but stood frozen halfway down.

“Yes. Didn’t you know? Kirra is living in Tokyo.”

She let her body down upon the seat. “I-I… didn’t know that.”

Kirill scratched his neck. Why hadn’t Kirra made her presence known to Faina? Or rather, how could Kirra know Faina was alive but not the other way around?

Shaking his head, he sat down on the chair meant for him. “Aren’t you here looking for uncle Naum’s woman?”

She flinched, but nodded and leaned back. “Right. That’s why I started this business. Because uncle was an actor, and I recall him telling me his woman was involved in showbiz too. I thought that by creating the name of the best, I could attract her to come here.”

Kirill could only shake his head in wonderment. Both he and his sisters had set out searching for their uncle’s woman. Kirra might be the only one of them who had stopped caring.

“Her last name was… is Mogami.”

“Right. And there is a Mogami here now. The team shooting a movie called _Always a child_. The thing is; she’s not the first and she’s too young. There have been a few people with the last name Mogami here before.”

Kirill stared at her. The thought hadn’t hit him before then. Of course there could be more people with the same name.

“But Naum’s woman is using a Russian pseudonym.”

Faina stared back. “You _found_ her?”

“Not really. I mean, I have a suspicion but I don’t know if it is her. I never met her personally, but Yuni… the drummer of my band… Oh, that’s right. Yuni is like a mother to me so… I’ve told her everything. But here's the thing; Yuni met a woman calling herself Polnoch Sana. She reacted strangely when Yuni spoke Russian.”

In front of him Faina was starting to chew on her tags. Kirill stared at them.

“You… those are Esfir’s tags.”

“We switched.”

“Esfir?”

“No. I didn’t see her after that last mission… Hey, is it really…”

“What?”

Faina bit down on the tags. “No… nothing. But you, the Mogami girl with _Always a child_ …”

“Mogami Kyoko.”

His sister glared at him and leaned back with crossed arms. “Fine, you go first. How much have you figured out?”

Kirill looked at her for some time, sensing a trap somewhere. Faina had always liked to know everything first and would probably bite at first vague bit of information.

“I have never met her, at least not properly. But I believe she is somehow involved, or has unknowingly gotten involved in some way. I don’t know if there is a connection between her and Polnoch Sana. She is…”

“The best designer of all Japan. I’m not ignorant. In difference to you, I’ve been working hard here in Japan.”

Kirill nodded. It was safest to give his sister right, for the sake of peace.

“I don’t know more than that. Polnoch is apparently not the real name, but I recall uncle talking about Sana, the woman he met in Japan.”

For a long time, Faina suddenly went quiet and unseeing stared off to the side, chewing on her tags. Kirill waited for a sign he should continue.

“Kirill…”

That slow, far-off calling of his name. “Y-yes?”

“How much do you know about what happened?”

What had happened? Indeed, what had happened?

“I don’t know anything besides what everybody knows; a woman accompanying uncle was killed by his fans. The news that he had found a Japanese woman and would soon be married had made his most devoted fans grow mad with jealousy, so when they saw that woman walking alongside uncle, they ganged up and killed her.”

“But that woman wasn’t uncle’s fiancée,” Faina finished.

“Yes. The media said that it was an ‘unknown woman’. The real one must have been there though.”

Faina nodded. “She was there. I asked grandmother about it. She was very fast to say that what had happened was a good thing, because it made uncle’s woman go away.”

“When did you ask about that?”

“Save that for some other time. Grandmother insisted that the murder of that unknown woman was good. But it sure wasn’t good for uncle.”

Kirill lowered his gaze to his hands.

“I wish I knew more,” he said. “I wish I knew why uncle… why…”

“I know,” Faina cut him off. “I’m sure it was that fiancée of his who drove him into that corner. If I ever get to meet her I’m going to give her a piece of my mind, that’s for sure. Uncle didn’t deserve that kind of fate.”

No, he certainly didn’t deserve it, Kirill thought. But Yuni had said that it was probably as painful for that woman as it was for him.

“But Kirra…”

Faina flinched. “What about her?”

“She said… Well, even if Kirra has changed a lot she’s never been stupid. Her ability is so much stronger than mine. I’m sure, Kirra has already found everything that I… that _we_ are looking for now.”

He looked up into his older sister’s face. Her eyes were very clear.

“I didn’t know Kirra was alive,” she whispered.

“Me neither. She… caught me, I suppose you could say.”

“What’s happened to her?”

Kirill shivered at the memory of that one talk with the sister that was his twin.

“She said that what happened to her was the same as what happened to me, only that the person that picked her up had rough hands. She’s not a… there’s no… the well-meaning Kirra is probably long dead. I don’t want to imagine what she’s been through. It’s changed her so much it hurts.”

Faina didn’t say a word and didn’t move, but there were tears in her eyes that she fought to hold back.

“Kirra told me… about the death quest. She said that Aleksandra and Akilina are dead.”

His sister couldn’t hold it in anymore. With a trembling sigh her defences crumbled and she started crying.

“Why?” she sobbed. “Why them? They didn’t…”

Almost crumbling himself, Kirill walked around the small table and sat on the armrest beside his older sister, taking her into his arms.

“And why are you the one doing the consoling? I’m older than you.”

“I’ve already cried, so I can console you.”

“I didn’t know. I fled. That time… I was last… I chickened out… My friends… what happened to my friends? What happened to Lieutenant-Colonel?”

Kirill said nothing. All he could do was hold and rock her as she sobbed pitifully. But even if it was true that he had cried, it didn’t mean he was done crying. Seeing an older sister crumble and cry in front of him made him feel like an outsider. Kirra hadn’t cried, but that might be because she was done crying after those ten years. At least Faina hadn’t lost that important piece of the heart.

“She gave me a hint. Kirra, I mean.”

Faina looked up from her position at her younger brother’s chest.

“That girl I’ve been hearing almost since I arrived to Japan, her last name is Mogami. I’m quite sure she is somehow related to uncle’s woman.”

Faina sniffed. “Yes. It was fifteen… no wait. It was almost twenty years ago, uncle would speak of nothing but Mogami when we paid him a visit. When did he start saying her first name?”

“I don’t know,” Kirill admitted. “Maybe when she agreed to… marry him?”

“…Yes. That was so soon before that incident.”

The murder of that unknown woman. Only now Kirill was hit by a stray thought.

“That woman, do you think she was related to Mogami?”

“Most likely.” Faina sniffed again before she straightened up and dried her eyes. “Why else would she run off and never contact uncle again?”

 

* * *

 

Morning in Kyushu was early. Far before the sun rose it was bright outside. Tsuruga Ren awoke with the light, tossed and turned for a while before deciding sleeping wouldn’t come and went out for a walk. The morning air was crisp and smelled of the surrounding trees. Ren walked along the path away from the cottages.

“Good morning Sir.”

Startled Ren spun around to find one of Kioku’s employees. “Hai?”

“If you’re going for a walk, please go towards the camping site at the edge. There’s no shooting right now, but it’s still not allowed to walk around freely.”

“Ah, I see. I’m sorry. Where is this camp site?”

“That way, Sir,” the man said, nodding towards the pathway behind him.”

“Thank you.”

“Just be careful, Sir. Captain is probably there, and she’s not a good morning person.”

“Okay. I’ll be careful.”

Ren headed down the pathway the employee had directed him to. The scenery was beautiful. Even though it was late March the trees were starting to grow new leaves, brave flowers littered the ground, adding a splash of colour against the dark soil and grass. The air was warmer than back in Tokyo too despite the early hour.

The site wasn’t that far away, and to be honest, it wasn’t really what he had expected. It was a large area clean of trees lined with a few well-kept huts in shade of a large oak. A strange concrete-pillar stood in the middle of a few logs beside the huts, and when Ren took a closer look it proved to be a sort of grill, filled to a third with sand with charcoal still in there and an iron net on top. One of the huts had a sign on that said it was for trashing.

It sure was a nice place to camp.

Ren walked past the huts and followed the outline of trees. In the far end he found a number of trampolines, some of them leaning to face each other.

His cell-phone rang.

**“Ren, where are you? It’s time for breakfast and then we’ll start shooting in two hours.”**

“Alright. I’ll head back now.”

And so, with one last look at the trampolines, Ren headed back towards the cottages.

He kept the phone in his hand and wondered if he could call Mogami-san to say good morning. Not totally sure, but Ren was rather convinced Mogami-san was an early riser. Hadn’t she been up very early during the visit in Karuizawa?

But what to say? Saying good morning wasn’t reason enough to call half past five in the morning. He couldn’t even ask her the main question that kept tormenting him because Mogami-san would surely avoid it and lie. The worse she felt, the harder she tried to hide it and solve everything with her own power. This far she had only confided in him about a detail and then used it to solve the rest. Like how a model would walk. Of course, after all this time yhe only thing she needed his help with was to prepare for roles. Mio. Natsu. Mogami-san just wasn’t the kind of person who depended on others.

She had never asked for help in Karuizawa, Ren had done so by himself. Kyoko hadn’t said a word about it when she was assigned to Kuu Hizuri. It wasn't like Ren could go to that girl and say; I’ll help you and stand by you, so tell me everything that’s wrong. She wouldn’t appreciate that.

“Sir. I told you a moment ago that you can’t go that way.”

Ren turned to find he had walked past the way to the cottages, and that the employee – or was he a guard? – was now looking a bit annoyed.

“Oh. Gomen. I was too deep in thought.”

“Did captain get you that hard?”

“Huh?”

The man stared strangely at him.

“The captain. She was there, no?”

“Eh? No, nobody was there.”

The man, guard or whatever he was, frowned in confusion. “Never mind. Please go back to your team now.”

“Hai…”

 

* * *

 

The sun just raised but it had been bright for a long time. That’s what everybody around her said. Kyoko couldn’t complain about it because she could barely see. Repeatedly she would rub her eyes and squint at the script, trying hard to read it.

Kurosaki Hana, the girl playing little Aiko, sat beside her.

“Onee-san. Do your eyes hurt?”

“Oh, not really. I… I’m just a little tired still.”

“Okay… How do I read this?”

Kyoko’s heart skipped a beat, but she still leant over to see what the little girl asked about.

It might have been some kind of divine luck, but right at that moment Kyoko’s sight cleared.

“Eh? Oh, you read those two together.”

“Oh! I get it. Thank you.”

“No problem.”

There is a person who can make much sillier mistakes, Kyoko didn’t say. She was grateful as long at the memory of that first meeting between Tsuruga-san and Bou didn’t cause another strange attack.

She rubbed her eyes again and startled when a hand suddenly patted her shoulder.

“Mogami-chan, let me explain your role here for you,” Sou Akira said and took Kyoko with him. “I know you haven’t felt very well since we left Tokyo, Mogami-chan. Do you think it will affect your acting?”

“No!” Kyoko herself was surprised by the force of her voice. “No. I will act it out until the end. Just watch me.” She’d rather lose her head than let her last performance be a poor act because of a cruel reality hanging around her neck. “I’m going to make this my best performance ever.”

At first Sou-san looked surprised, but then he smiled so broadly his eyes disappeared in the fat of his face. “Now _that’s_ what I want to hear, my lovely Mogami-chan. Now, Aiko have come to see her father Akitoki and hopes he can reward her with the love she so desperately needs.”

The director led Kyoko towards the prepared garden where Aiko and her father were supposed to take a stroll in and talk. Kyoko listened carefully, memorizing as much as possible to save herself the trouble of trying to read it all in the script.

Her sight blurred again and she stumbled.

“Mogami-chan, be careful!”

“Sorry. I didn’t see that rock,” Kyoko said, and desperately hoped it had really been a rock.

“It must have fallen from here. Hey you! Put this rock back to where it belongs!” The director pulled the young actress with him again. “Fools. Can’t even keep their rocks in tow. That captain is nothing but a haughty bitch.”

“Oh really?”

The captain’s voice. Director Sou Akira stiffened like a stone and Kyoko turned to see a blurred version of the tall woman.

“I came here to ask if everything is in order and the first thing I hear is the director insulting me.”

“I-I-I was not talking… of you ma’am. Of course not. It… I mean… Ca… I was talking about Kanan! The woman over there…”

“There is no woman in your team bearing the name of Kanan, director.”

“Did… did it sound like that? No, I mean my wife of course…”

“Your social status says you’re still single.”

Kyoko blinked and blinked in hope for her sight to clear. The captain sounded very cool and her stance seemed stiff, but Kyoko’s anger sensor couldn’t detect anything. If she didn’t know better, Kyoko would say the captain was getting a good laugh from scaring Sou-san.

“Stop gaping. It’s unseemly. And so, what is it that doesn’t meet your expectations.”

Kyoko rubbed her eyes and for a short moment managed to see Sou-san speechless under the stern, and _humouring_ , gaze of the Captain.

“Um, I stumbled over a rock, Captain-san,” she said, hoping to save the director enough time to recompose himself.

“Yes, I saw that. But you know, girl, you shouldn’t blame your bad sight on innocent rocks.”

Kyoko’s blood chilled. How could this woman know?

“Bad sight?!” Sou-san exclaimed. “Now wait here a moment, Captain. For your information, Mogami-chan has _excellent_ sight.”

“Oh sure. Are you done insulting me or can I perhaps leave? I have a lot of work to do.”

“Eh… Oh… Of course. Sorry for taking up your time.”

Once again, for a second Kyoko’s sight cleared completely, and right in her line of vision was the captain’s greyish eyes.

They glimmered with familiarity.

After the woman left, Kyoko’s sight lowered again, but this time to a level where she could at least see her own five fingers.

Sou-san cleared his throat.

“Okay. Everybody stand-by! We’re doing the rehearsal right away.”

Kyoko hurriedly went back to her former seat to pick up her script. Skipping most of the scenery notes she read her lines, hoping to get them right.

“Ready?”

Everybody took their positions.

“Scene 75. Action!”

 

_Father wouldn’t hold my hand. I suppose I was getting too old for that. I’m not a child anymore, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need my parents here with me and for me._

_“Aiko-chan. How are you doing? Living with your mother, I mean.”_

_“Oh… I manage. She’s really stern, isn’t she, so we aren’t always friends…”_

_I don’t want to look at him. Father hated it when I lied in the past, so he probably won’t be happy with me now._

_“…I see.”_

_Daring a glance, my father’s profile isn’t as safe and strong as it was during my childhood. I wasn’t prepared for him talking._

_“Does she…?”_

_“What?!”_

_“Does she ever speak of me?”_

_“Mother?”_

_“Yes.”_

_How was I supposed to answer? The truth? That wouldn’t make things any easier. Father would just be saddened. But… would lying make things better?_

_“Yes… she does… a little, sometimes.”_

_“What does she say?”_

_I turn away. The flowers are in full bloom. They are really pretty. I can almost see the fairies of nature nurturing the flowers to the heights of beauty only they can reach._

_“Aiko-chan?”_

_“Huh?” Father’s face so close to mine. “Eh? What did you say?”_

_He smiled. But it was not the happy, humouring smile I remember._

_“Let’s sit down. The flowers are beautiful. I recall you used to like these blue Iris.”_

_“Oh, I still love them a lot! They are so beautiful.”_

_Sitting on the bench’s dry wood I’m waiting. For what I don’t really know. Maybe for courage enough to ask my father to let me live with him instead, or maybe for him to give me some sort of proof._

_What am I expecting?_

_“Aiko-chan.”_

_“Yes?”_

_“When your mother speaks of me, what does she say?”_

_A sour taste makes my mouth really dry. “Um…”_

_“Don’t lie to me, Aiko-chan. I… I already know she doesn’t speak fondly of your old father.”_

_“…no, she says really awful things. She often tells me… that she wish she never gave… that she never gave birth to… your daughter.”_

_The following silence weights down on my heart. It feels like I’m wearing a huge boulder on my head._

_“I see.”_

_“Father?”_

_He sighs so heavily. Father?_

_“I suppose she’s right. I shouldn’t have made her pregnant in the first place. That would probably be the best for everyone.”_

 

Kyoko’s head started spinning. She felt dizzy. But the scene wasn’t over yet! She closed her eyes tightly.

 

_“I’m sorry, Aiko-chan. For me to say something like that, it’s almost the same as wishing you were never born. Sorry if I made it sound like that. I love you a lot, and I know your mother loves you a lot too. But she and I was never a good match. I’m really sorry you have to put up with parents like us, Aiko-chan.”_

_I’m fighting tears… again. So this is how it is, huh? This is the truth? Going all the way here, this is the answer I was looking for?_

_Somebody save me._

_“Aiko-chan?”_

_Somebody please kill me._

_“Aiko?”_

_“Eh? Oh! I’m sorry, it’s nothing.” Damn, I let a tear out. Stupid, stupid. “Don’t worry about it, father. You know me, I’ll manage… somehow.”_

_A warm weight on my head. Father is patting my head._

_Father… his chest is cold. I can hear his heart’s beating against my ear._

_Father…_

 

“And cut! Brilliant, both of you. Now for the real take. Everybody stand-by.”

 

* * *

 

Afternoon. The time when Captain Faina Latch ate her dinner and went to the exercise area. She was tired today, because of the three new arrivals whereof one was only going to shoot at night. Their music video would be finished in another two nights, but during that time Faina wanted to keep an eye on them. Conclusion; she wouldn’t get much sleep.

And checking up on the teams had been hard today. She kept being distracted by the memory of a pair of sunset eyes. Faina met hundreds of people each year and she had seen every colour of eyes. She had seen people with the same eye-colour as that girl’s before. But not a colour with that sort of hue around the pupil. It was almost as if she had taken Naum's eyes and put them in her own sockets.

“Could she really be…?”

Faina stood beside her favourite playthings; the trampolines, chewing on her twin sister’s tags.

Uncle Naum. It didn’t make sense. None of it did. His work overseas, working in Europe and Asia instead of going to Hollywood like every other actor of his calibre. The woman he had met in Japan and whom he had returned there to see again and again. The woman who had been killed by his fans.

That was the most unnerving thing in the whole deal. It happened sometimes all over the world; fans being so crazy and obsessed they gathered in crowds, some falling down and got stepped over until they died. But this was different. A woman had actually been murdered by a crazy mob.

_“The girl was asking for it. Even if it wasn’t actually the fiancée, that little mishap at least chased away that little bitch. I would never give my son to such a slut, that’s for sure.”_

Faina bit down on the tags. Right before she moved to Japan she had visited her grandmother to ask about it. The old woman had never liked the fact that Naum had found a Japanese woman, but he obviously hadn’t listened to her protests. But if Naum had managed to make a child with that woman, why hadn’t she contacted him after the incident? And if that really was the case, could Mogami Kyoko seriously be…?

She shook her head. Sure, the age was… about right. The acting ability, Faina had to admit she hadn’t done proper research about that. The plain face that could most possibly transform into anything and anyone. The colour of eyes… sure, those aspects could be… and could just as well be coincidences.

It really didn’t make sense.

“Mogami Kioku huh.”

Nothing came to mind, until Faina realized what she had said.

“Kioku?”

Kioku. Kyoko…

“Oh blast it! I’m so tired I’ve gotten confused. What does that have to do with anything?”

“Captain?”

Faina turned to her right hand man, a fellow about two years older than herself. She straightened up.

“What is it, Fen?”

“I thought you had lost track of time playing here again, so I came to fetch you.”

“Oh, is it time already?”

“Fifteen minutes.”

Faina nodded and started walking. Kirill’s team had made special requests she had to prepare for. And she really needed to speak to Kirill about Kioku…

She stopped short and hit a hand over her eyes.

“Captain!?”

“I’m sorry, Fen. Can you take care of this without me? I’m really, really tired and I _must_ get some sleep. Now. Or I won’t make it through the week.”

And with that she left her friend standing there. She had complete trust in him, but she couldn’t burden him with her problems. And she seriously needed to sleep. How on earth could she mix up the name of that girl with the name of her own business?

She stopped again as insight hit her like lightning. “Because uncle said it.”

_“If I ever have a child with Sana, I will name her… or him, Kioku.”_

That’s what he had said. Faina put her tags in her mouth and started chewing. Then spit them out.

“I so need to sleep.”


	19. The one who is greater

It was morning and Fuwa Sho lay on his bed with an annoyed frown and tried to get some sleep. The filming hadn’t gone quite as smoothly as he had hoped, and it wasn’t because of the staff or equipment. No, the real problem was named Big Boss Ivy. Sho could hardly believe her level of bitchiness, or just how fierce the verbal conflicts between her and Yuni-kun could become. Malin-kun had said he was better off not knowing that they were fighting about.

The next problem was that Big Boss Ivy had gotten a firm grip of the location staff too. Most of them knew Russian – much to everyone’s surprise – and therefore the keyboarder could order them around to her heart’s content. If she actually had a heart that is.

Growling Sho turned to his side. They hadn’t gotten anything done. This would screw up his schedule so that the next few weeks would be really rushed for him, to catch up with work.

“Sue no baka,” he growled.

A knock on the door woke him out of his thoughts and he went to open. Since Kilill-san was out on some business again Sho was alone in the small cottage.

“Fuwa-kun. Am I troubling you?”

“No. Not at all, Malin-kun. Come on in.”

The Egyptian woman stepped into the room and turned to the taller star.

“I’m just here to apologize, for Ivy I mean.”

“Really? Has she agreed to get any work done tomorrow night?”

Malin-kun stared at him surprised for a moment. “Oh. No, you’ve misunderstood. If we are fit enough we’ll be done by tomorrow.”

Now it was Sho’s turn to stare.

“Ivy isn’t the one to hinder any sort of work,” Malin-kun explained with a smile. “That the staff know Russian is really good, because now they all know exactly what we expect of them. All the empty shots were done last night and we just have to fill up tomorrow.”

Sho gaped at her.

“I know,” she said. “It’s easy to misinterpret Ivy when she’s acting like a bitch. Even more so when she and Yuni are fighting like little kids.”

“So what were they fighting about?”

Malin-kun sighed. “Details. Itty-bitty little details like which side of the drums the camera should shoot from. Sorry.”

Sho pinched the bridge of his nose and tried hard to not explode with fury.

“Oh, and there was something I wanted to ask of you.”

“What?”

“Do you know a girl named Mogami?”

“What? Kyoko? What’s with her?”

Malin-kun gaped, but quickly closed her mouth. “You _do_ know her? How?”

The Japanese singer stared down at the dark-skinned woman with a confused frown. “You’re the one who asked. How do _you_ know her?”

“I asked first.”

“I’ve known her forever!" Sho blurted out, and if there was a slightly possessive tilt to his tone he didn't hear it. "You gotta answer me first. How do you know about Kyoko?”

Malin-kun opened her mouth to retort, then closed it and looked at him more closely. “Just Kyoko? Wow, this is the first time I’ve heard you refer to anyone without a suffix. A sister?”

“What?!” This was the second time in his life somebody had asked if Kyoko was his sister, and he still didn’t have a name for the feeling that suggestion stirred in him.

Malin shrugged with one shoulder. “Well, somebody told me that Fuwa Sho is a psuedonyme, so I figured your birth name might as well be Mogami…”

He stood directly over her and glared down with all the loathe he felt against the thought of having the same mother as Kyoko. “I. Am. Not. _Her_. Son.”

Malin-kun blinked. “Whose son?”

Shoot! Sho quickly turned away. “I shouldn’t talk about it,” he said and pulled a hand through his hair. “I never knew much about her anyway.”

“Mogami-san’s mother? You know her? What’s her name?”

Sho was getting worked up. In his mind Kyoko was shoved away by her mother, yelled at and told how stupid and useless she was. Kyoko tried to hold her mother’s hand, but she flinched away as if Kyoko was something dirty. “Look, this is getting too personal,” Sho growled.

“Just tell me her name. Please.”

He pulled a hand through his hair again. “I don’t know, okay. She disappeared when we were kids and never showed up again, and my parents never spoke of her.”

Malin’s shoulders lowered in defeat. “Alright then. I’m not gonna ask anymore.” She looked at his back. “But maybe I should tell you something. Mogami Kyoko, I suspect she’s been pulled into something bad. If you’re a friend, I think you should go see her. Show some support or something, you know.”

“What’s that all about?” Sho asked annoyed. He didn’t like the sound of it. Malin-kun spoke as if Kyoko was in stuck in a dire situation.

“It’s just a suspicion, but Yuni and I both believe that the reason Kirill has acted strange the past few weeks is because of something that, keyword, _might_ involve Mogami Kyoko.”

A cold lump settled in Sho’s belly. “So what? That girl can take care of herself. She’s so stubborn.”

“As you wish,” Malin said with another shrug of her shoulders. “I just thought I’d tell you, because Yuni is really concerned.”

The woman turned to leave, but when she grabbed the door handle she turned again. “By the way, there are times when even the most stubborn people are unable take care of themselves.”

With that the door opened and closed and left Sho alone to secretly worry about his childhood friend.

 

* * *

 

“Yuni! Guess what! Fuwa knows Miss Mogami!”

“He does?”

The drummer had been reading, but now she cast the book aside and leaned closer as Malin sat down in the other armchair.

“I asked him, you know, out of intuition I guess. Listen to this; he calls her just Kyoko, without –san or anything.”

“Didn’t you tell me it was really rude to do that?”

“Yes! Not just anyone is allowed to call you directly by name. The two of them know each other since childhood. And that’s not all.”

Yuni hung onto every word. Her eyes took up half her face and shone with eager curiosity.

“When I started asking about Miss Mogami’s mother, he got really defensive.”

“How?”

“Of Miss Mogami! He tried to play it cool and say she can manage on her own, but he got really worried.”

It was with a sigh of relief Yuni leaned back in her chair. “Thank goodness.”

“Right. With Kirill’s reaction a few days ago I’d say Miss Mogami is in deeper trouble than before. If Fuwa goes about it as smoothly as he usually does with people, I believe she will at least find some comfort.”

“I hope so. But why would you ask Fuwa about Miss Mogami’s mother?”

The dark woman blinked. “Oh yeah. Since he didn’t use a suffix I suggested they were brother and sister. They are not. If looks could kill I’d be dead now. Fuwa said it like this;” Malin stood up and tried to mimic Sho’s face. “I. Am. Not. _Her_. Son.”

“That’s quite fierce for a man who always tries to stay cool,” Yuni said amazed.

“Right? That’s when I started asking about Miss Mogami’s mother, to which he started twisting and turning. Don’t know why though. Fuwa continued to say he shouldn’t talk about it, but I’m sure he was protecting Miss Mogami. Somehow.”

Yuni nodded and pulled a hand through her hair. “That’s good to know. So how was Kirill tonight?”

Malin stared at her. “He wasn’t there," she said slowly.

Yuni stared back. “Oh, that’s right. He wanted to talk to Ivy about something. But they’ve been gone for a while. I wonder where they went.”

 

* * *

 

“What time is it?” Ivy asked coolly.

“Half past seven in the morning,” Kirill answered. “Don’t worry. We’ll be there soon.”

Ivy was displeased, but didn’t ask questions. Kirill was actually moved by that. Even when she complained and ordered people around, she only ever trusted him to take her through unknown grounds.

He was taking her to Faina. Ivy didn’t willingly talk about her time in the military, but Kirill remembered there had been a squad with only women during the wars ten years ago. Faina had asked what happened to the Lieutenant-Colonel, and Ivy had most probably had such a high rank, considering the way she acted. He was however taking a gamble.

The cottage was lit when they arrived and no one was on guard. None that Kirill could see at least. He had told the man on guard around their site he was going to see the Captain, so she was probably prepared for them.

“We’re here. Only a short distance to the cottage.”

Ivy followed smoothly, even when she made a sour face. Kirill knocked on the door and it opened almost immediately.

“I hope you have a good reason to see me now, Kirill.”

At his side Ivy tensed.

“I have, Faina. This is Ivy. I thought I’d introduce you.”

His older sister made a face before she let them inside. “You don’t go around doing this kind of stuff for nothing, little brother. What are you up to?”

“Nothing much. Ivy, this is my sister Faina Lastotjka. Faina, this is Ivy, retired military Lieutenant-Colonel.”

Faina’s face whitened.

“Retired Lieutenant-Colonel Rave, if you please,” Ivy corrected coolly, and Kirill did a mental victory pose.

“M… ma’am.” Faina saluted stiffly.

“I heard you survived, Lastotjka. How?”

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Kirill said. “I’ll wait outside, Ivy.”

“We won’t be long.”

“Of course.”

Kirill left and Ivy stood straight-backed with her head held high and hands clutching her white stick. Faina was on the verge of fainting. Just what was her brother thinking? This was like seeing a ghost. It was definitely the voice of her superior, but if they hadn’t been introduced Faina would never have been able to tell.

“How…?”

“Yes. How did you survive?”

Faina swallowed, opened her mouth and swallowed again. “I… I chickened out,” she whispered. “I was too scared.”

Lieutenant-Colonel Rave didn’t say anything for a long time.

“I see. Good for you, since you survived.”

“Ma’am?”

“I’m not angry, and I won’t report anything. The war is long over.”

Faina’s legs gave in under her. Ivy didn’t move.

“M… ma’am. What happened? What happened to you? Your eyes…?”

“This would have happened to you if you hadn’t escaped. Where is the door? I have to go back to my team.”

The younger woman stood up on shaky legs and quickly opened the door and saluted out of habit.

“Call Kirill here.”

“Yes ma’am. Kirill! Are you there?”

Faina’s brother came into sight. “That sure was fast.”

“We have nothing to say to each other,” Ivy said. “Now take me back. We have a lot to do tonight and I want it finished by tomorrow morning.”

“I hear you, Boss.”

Kirill hooked his arm around Ivy’s outstretched hand, bowed his head to his sister and walked out.

“Sleep tight, Lastotjka.”

The two walked just out of sight from the cottage when Ivy opened her mouth again.

“What did you do that for, Kirill?” she snarled angrily.

“Faina asked me what happened to the Lieutenant-Colonel, you, so I thought I’d let her know.”

“Don’t involve others into your family matters. One more thing like this and I swear I’ll give your daughters away for adoption.”

The man swallowed. “Understood.”

But even when she sounded like that, Kirill could hear a different sound from her. Ivy was shaken, she wanted to cry, but her shell was too hard, and she had lost the ability to cry along with her eyes. Her only way out was to get angry.

Kirill had to smile at her, and the morning sun rose in the east.

“And Kirill.”

“Yes?”

“Even if you manage to find pieces of your old family now it doesn’t mean you’ll be able to patch it up. You have a new one now. If that’s not enough for you, then leave it all behind and die.”

 

* * *

 

Shoko watched the scene in front of her with disbelief. Fuwa Sho lay on the floor with his eyes covered by his arms. The room was tidy, so it couldn’t have been a burglar here. So why was Fuwa Sho lying on the floor?

“Sh… Sho? Are you alright?”

“What is it?”

He was obviously awake and not in a very good mood.

“Did something happen?”

“No.”

The manager looked around. “Did you have a fight with, Kilill-san?”

“No.”

She swallowed and decided to attack the main point directly. “Sho… why are you on the floor?”

Those grey eyes glared up at her. “If it isn’t important, go away.”

No, something must definitely have happened. This was not a way for Fuwa Sho to act. Of course Shoko knew all about the younger man’s childish habits and attitude when they were alone. The only times when she couldn’t read him was… when Kyoko-chan was involved.

“Did you call Kyoko-chan?”

“I just told you to go away if it wasn’t important, so go away and leave me the hell alone!”

Oh yes, it was about Kyoko-chan. “Did you have a fight again?”

Sho sprung up. “Listen! I told you to leave me alone, and that means you’ll leave! Get out. I don’t want you here! Don’t disturb me again if it isn’t the apocalypse!”

Shoko was so surprised by Sho’s sudden violent behaviour she fell onto her butt when he pushed her out the door.

“A… Aki-chan?”

The manager looked up at Asami.

“Sho pushed me out,” she answered the gawking face of the director.

 

* * *

 

Inside the now locked doors Sho fell back to the floor. It was his deepest secret, but he liked to lie on the floor. It was a good place to think and straighten out his thoughts. Thoughts that right now was centred on a bright-eyed childhood friend.

It irked him to the point of anger to realize he was worried about Kyoko. Had she gotten into trouble? Whatever. That headstrong girl could handle herself. Show support? The only time Kyoko really needed any form of help was when she was crying about her mother; the only time when Sho was completely useless.

But it couldn’t be about Kyoko’s mother, right? It was stupid to consider. Why would that woman, who had disappeared and never come back again suddenly show up now? Even if she did show up, why would she go after Kyoko? That woman had never paid much attention to her before. Kyoko wasn’t weak, not at all. If she was there’d be no way she could breathe Sho in the neck, like predator and prey.

That was the fact that caused Sho’s heart to go cold. Sho always believed his existence in Kyoko’s heart was greater than anyone else’s. He had forgotten that Kyoko’s mother was the only one who excelled him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before I forget. I'll post a "deleted scene" from this story separately. Feel free to check it out.


	20. On the same level

Filming was going smoothly for Tsuruga Ren, as usual. As a matter of fact he wasn’t a pushover actor, and his name as the greatest in Japan wasn’t just for show. It was his co-workers that delayed filming. The man Ren was acting against was not on very good terms with the director as of late and it was hard for the director to compromise or fire the actor on the spot because of his great popularity.

At long last they couldn’t continue anyway because of the late afternoon light.

“Okay everybody. We’re done for today. Otsukare-sama.”

A choir of voices returned the greeting and staff members started taking down all the equipment and gather chairs and water bottles that were spread around the place. Ren took his bottle, stuffed it into his bag and let an eager woman take care of the chair he had used.

A man from the location walked up to Ren.

“Tsuruga-san. If you are bored, you can always go to the exercise site.”

“Hm? Yes, that would be nice,” Ren answered with a small smile. He hadn’t been able to do much exercise here because of all the work. He couldn’t very well help to mend fences between the director and the actor either. It would be rude against the director. “Which way is the site?” he asked.

“Follow this path and turn left on both cross paths. There is no filming going on right now so it’s no use sneaking around.”

“Thank you,” Ren said and started walking, thinking that they really took each party’s privacy seriously. That was a good thing.

 

* * *

 

Faina took a look at her watch.

“So they finished early? Alright. The director knows what to do next? … I see. Clean the area until he knows. Team two will start preparing an hour before dusk. Keep all teams under supervision until then… I see. I’m here too. I’ll wait for him.”

She closed her phone and walked towards a pathway, standing on guard behind a tree beside it.

Right on time.

“Welcome, Tsuruga-san.”

The man tensed and his head spun around. Good reflexes, Faina noticed with slightly narrowed eyes. Small details about the way the man reacted gave away a man experienced in hand to hand combat. Like the way his arm and knees bent and how his shoulders pulled back. Rare to see among actors.

“Ah… Captain-san,” the actor acknowledged with a bow of his head.

“Are you here to exercise?” Faina asked.

“Hm? Yes. How… how did you know I was coming?”

“Rule number one among the staff; report everything to the Captain. Whereabouts of members of the filming teams, actors and staff alike, are included in everything.”

“Oh,” the man said, smiling kind of sheepishly.

“What would you like to do? There are tools for tennis and badminton of you’d like a game. Or…” she made a motion for the trampolines. “If you dare.”

“I thought of it this morning,” Tsuruga said. “Why are some of them tilted?”

“Those are for me. I practice in manoeuvring mid-air.”

“Can I try?”

Faina looked at the actor with slight surprise. So Tsuruga Ren was the adventurous type? That wasn’t included in his image.

“Very well. I can’t see why not. However, I won’t stand for it if you hurt yourself.”

“Of course,” the man said confidently.

They moved over to the trampolines and Faina couldn’t help but notice the look of excitement in the actor’s eyes. Strange, she thought. It felt just like she had seen his face before. Well, she had of course. Anybody who lived in Japan and didn’t know the face of Tsuruga Ren was living under a rock. But he was familiar in a different way. Felt like nostalgia.

“Are you right or left handed?” she asked.

“Right handed. Why?”

“No reason actually. Here. Always start from a flat trampoline to gain a good bounce. You go from there to the tilted trampolines and then you’re free to jump. Five meters between the trampolines, so be careful not to bounce too far or fall short. You can hurt yourself bad if you misjudge the distance. If I see you lose balance mid-air I will try to save you, but I can’t guarantee anything.”

Tsuruga-san nodded. His eyes were present so Faina knew he was listening even though he was full of confidence. He probably listened out of politeness, Faina thought.

“And do not jump with those shoes on,” she warned when the man walked towards a flat trampoline.

“Of course,” he said and removed a shoe, put the foot on the edge of the trampoline and slipped out of the other.

His legs weren’t as thin as they seemed, Faina noted, and he didn’t have much of a butt. What were Japanese women’s standard? A man without a nice, good butt was hardly worth attention.

Then Tsuruga Ren started bouncing. Captain Latch hadn’t been so surprised before. He looked like a… a fairy, in lack of a better word, but definitely something that had once had wings. Faina wished she could move like that too. It was so beautiful.

Her phone rang.

“Yes,” she answered absently, her eyes following Tsuruga-san’s every movement.

“Captain. Mogami Kyouko is heading for the exercise site. She’ll be there in just a minute.”

“Good. I’ll wait for her.”

The information was shoved into the back of her head as Tsuruga Ren looked like he was dancing in the air. How come the world didn’t know about this side of him? Was he ashamed of his adventurous side?

He faltered mid-air. Faina hardly had time to think when she noticed he had misjudged the distance to the next trampoline when she jumped forward and kicked it backwards with full force. Tsuruga landed on the edge. Safe.

“Phew. Thank you, Captain-san. I think I lost myself.”

“I think I noticed that,” Faina answered dryly as she straightened up and fetched the actor’s shoes. “You’re done for now.”

“Yes, I suppose I am.”

Faina glared slightly as the man put his shoes on. “If I didn’t know better I’d probably think you were Kuu Hizuri’s son.”

Tsuruga-san actually flinched. He was?!

“What makes you think that?” the actor asked with a smiling and slightly embarrassed face. Acting as if he was flattered, huh? But he couldn’t hide the wariness in the depth of his eyes.

“It would explain the nostalgia I feel about you.”

“Huh?”

Faina smiled smugly. “My uncle worked a lot with your father, Corn-san. What a good disguise you have.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the man replied honestly, still smiling, but too fast for Faina to believe him.

“Doesn’t matter to me,” she smiled and made a zip close movement over her lips. Then she suddenly remembered that Mogami was coming too and looked around for her. She wasn’t here yet? Strange. Hadn’t they said a minute? That minute had passed, unless she had found something interesting on the way and stopped.

“Captain-san?”

“I expected another guest here by now,” she explained and moved away from the trampolines. Maybe the girl was looking for something in the sheds? No, she wasn’t there. But she’d probably get a call about her whereabouts soon if she had changed her mind and gone back to the cottages.

“I think I’ll go back to my team now,” Tsuruga said.

“I’ll come with you.”

“You really don’t have to, Captain-san,” the man said and waved with his hand, acting out the modest Japanese gentleman really well. Too bad for him Faina had seen way too many actors in her life, and being quite a bit of one herself.

“Don’t flatter yourself. If the guest I expected here for some reason collapsed on the pathway I might need your help.” Not a lie, but not exactly the truth either. After all, she couldn’t leave all the supervision of stray actors to her staff.

“If you say so,” Tsuruga-san said hesitantly.

“Good,” Faina said and started walking. Tsuruga-san easily kept up with her strides thanks to his long legs, and probably some real experience in walking long distances. Long legs didn’t always mean their owners were good at walking and running.

Her cell phone went off.

“Captain! I’ve found Mogami Kyouko. She’s standing on the path and looks really bad. What should I do?”

“Bad how? Where are you?”

“Path three from the exercise site. I don’t know what’s wrong. Her face is really pale and she’s not responding to touch or calls. Her pupils are a little off too. She might be on drugs.”

Faina stopped in her tracks, alerted.

“I’m on path five. I’ll be there in a minute.” She snapped the device closed and turned to the actor looking curiously at her. “Mogami… an actress is in trouble. Make it back…”

“Mogami-san?”

The captain had been picking up her strides and calling orders over her shoulder when the alarmed voice of the actor interrupted her and she stared at him. Oh, right. Mogami Kyouko had acted together with Tsuruga-san in _Dark Moon_. How could she have forgotten?

“Mogami Kyouko, yes. I can let you know…”

“Take me to her.”

This time Faina grew annoyed. She hated it when somebody interrupted when she spoke. But that didn’t make her miss the look in Tsuruga-san’s eyes.

“Only that far,” she agreed and started running.

The girl actually wasn’t that far from the exercise site.

“Captain,” the man standing there said with relief.

“Has she moved?”

“Not at all. It’s like she’s lost contact with the world.”

Faina grabbed the actress’s by the shoulders and shook her gently. No response. Mogami was really pale and her eyes abnormally wide and the pupils confirmed to the captain that she was indeed on crack. Faina took a good look at her face and blinked. Mogami was in a state of deep shock. How come?

“Mogami-san?”

A nerve twitched under the girl’s eye. Faina was too confused by what she witnessed to be angry at Tsuruga-san for stepping in. But when the man bent down to Mogami’s eye level, Faina couldn’t form words to warn the man for what was about to happen. Whatever had put Mogami in shock it had to do with Tsuruga-san, because upon seeing his face she raised her hand and slapped him. Hard.

Faina wondered who was most surprised.

“Mogami…”

“How… dare you?!”

“Huh?”

Mogami was trembling from head to toe and her face was reddening from rising anger. Tsuruga-san stood in front of her holding his cheek, looking like it was the first time in his life a girl had slapped him.

“You… you’re just like Sho.”

“Moga…”

“How much have you laughed at me?! For how long were you going to keep me chasing…?! I’m not a toy! Don’t use me for entertainment! Why is it so enjoyable to make fun of me?!!”

Faina stepped forward and knocked the girl out, holding her around the waist to keep her from reaching the ground. If she kept screaming like that she would definitely attract unwanted attention or worse, choke herself.

“Don’t take it too hard, Tsuruga-san,” she told the shocked actor. “She’s under the influence of drugs so she probably didn’t mean any of that. I’ll take her to the doctor and you go back to your team.”

“Mogami-san… isn’t taking drugs,” Tsuruga-san said weakly.

“And how much of that do _you_ know?” Faina mocked him.

Fellow actors and even friends they might be, but she was sure their relationship was no deeper than that. Still, she didn’t have time for that right now. She had to take Mogami to the doctor fast.

“Make sure Tsuruga goes back to his team,” she told her close to petrified employee with her most demanding voice before she lifted Mogami up on her shoulder and carried her away.

Ren stood where the captain left him, feeling the painful sting on his cheek intensify by the second.

“Tsuruga-san, you have to go back now. Please follow me.”

“Yes…” he answered in a daze. “Let’s go.”

“Wrong way, sir.”

Ren turned around and saw which way the staff member was pointing. He had started walking straight forward instead.

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“You are in a state of shock, Tsuruga-san. I understand you. I hope that she didn’t hit you too hard. You are going to continue filming tomorrow morning, am I right?”

“Uh…? Yes. You’re right.”

The employee stayed quiet after that, leaving Ren to his utter horror. For Mogami-san to put him on the same level as Fuwa Sho could only mean one thing; she had heard the captain call him Corn.

 

* * *

 

Elexa jumped from fright when Sho suddenly sneezed right beside her.

“Ne bolei,” Kilill-san said.

“Sorry,” Sho said, drying his nose with the back of his hand. “Somebody must be talking about me.”

Ivy said something with a stern voice.

“Stand by,” the man translated and moved into position.

They hadn’t started filming yet, but they had arrived just twenty minutes ago and were ready to start. It was a new shocking record. Usually it would take at least an hour and a half before they were ready to shoot. Maybe Big Boss Ivy wasn’t so bad after all.

The filming went smoother than anything ever before. The staff seemed to follow Ivy’s slightest tilt of head and had just about everything ready. Cloth changes, make-up, fans, cameras, lenses, lights, effects, everything. After one hour of filming they were finished, surprising more than only Sho.

“Well then,” Asami-san said, almost scratching her head wondering what just happened. “I suppose there is only the cutting work left, and that has to be done in the studio. Otsukare-sama. Great work everyone.”

“We’re leaving tonight?” Sho asked, hoping they wouldn’t. Twelve hours in a bus right after work did not sound very appeasing to him.

“I was hoping to stay just for tonight and then we’ll leave early tomorrow morning,” Asami-san said.

“Really?”

Surprised Sho, Shoko and Asami spun around to find Malin standing behind them.

“Then you have to tell Ivy. She’s prepared to go back to Tokyo right away.”

“Stop her!” Asami all but screamed. “I have to check all the material before we leave! It’ll take all night!”

“Calm down. She’s just caught up in the pace right now,” the woman said with a calming gesture and reassuring smile.

Asami heaved a deep sigh of relief. She was feeling grateful to the blind woman for, though seemingly delaying them, actually having made up for it by perfecting all the details, making sure her own band did their outmost and that Sho was right there with them. _The dead Saints_ weren’t one of the greatest in Russia for nothing, Asami figured. She promised herself to check out some of their videos. There had to be a lot of inspiration to get from them.

Out of nowhere Captain Latch approached them with long strides and a serious look on her face.

“Where’s Kirill?” she asked them with urgency.

“O… over…” Shoko looked around. “He should be over there,” she said and pointed.

“Thank you.”

The women watched as the captain strode away. Asami noticed how she had no womanly elegance to her gait at all. More like a man’s purposefulness.

Kirill looked up from his hands when he heard unfamiliar footsteps coming towards him.

“Faina?”

“Do you have time? You’re done here, right?”

It was the look on his sister’s face that made Kirill rise to his feet and turn to Yuni sitting beside him.

“I’ll be right back.”

“Okay,” the woman answered with a surprised face. “I’ll tell Fuwa you’ll be in late.”

“Thank you.”

Hastily leaving the filming area behind Krill walked close to his sister. He had heard that loud voice even inside the bubble of work and music that normally kept him locked away from the rest of the world. Ivy had noticed right away and made sure he concentrated by yelling harshly at him to concentrate with both her audible and inner voice. It was quite amazing how she had learnt to make herself heard even inside Kirill’s head.

“Is it Mogami Kyoko?” he asked quietly.

“Yes. What do you hear?”

Kirill tried to swallow the lump in his throat. “I don’t really know how to interpret it. I’m trying to block her voice all I can because it’s just so painful.”

“Can you tell in what way it’s painful?” Faina asked.

Kirill listened a little closer, but immediately blocked again. “I think something’s lost, or like a solid rock suddenly turned into sand.”

“You mean like betrayal?” the woman queried, surprisingly enough not sounding surprised at all.

“Could be,” Kirill agreed. “What happened?”

“We’re soon at the infirmary. Long story short, Tsuruga Ren and Mogami Kyoko might have had something together, don’t know what. Mogami was expected on the exercise site where Tsuruga was playing on the trampolines but she never showed up. One of my men found her in quite a serious state on a pathway and she reacted only to Tsuruga’s voice, by slapping him clear across the face, mind you.”

“She slapped him?” Kirill spluttered with utter disbelief. He had thought Japanese women to be too timid to do something like that.

“Yes, but that’s not why we’re here now,” Faina said and opened the door to a plain looking house. “This is the infirmary. I took Mogami here because she was under the influence of drugs.”

“Drugs?”

Kirill kept up with his sister’s still long strides and stopped by a room to peek inside.

“That’s the girl?” Faina asked in a whisper.

Mogami Kyoko looked very small on the bed, out cold with a small frown of pain on her forehead. It was no mistaking though, this was the girl Kirill had heard ever since he came to Japan. The one who’s empty heart threatened to swallow him a few weeks ago. Now her heart had quieted down significantly.

Kirill swallowed. “What’s wrong with her?”

“Let me tell you that in the lab,” his sister answered quietly and gently pulled him along. “Her team is informed and a woman and her manager were here right before I left to find you. I told them we’ll treat her best we can, but that sending her to a proper hospital as soon as they got back to Tokyo would be better.”

They arrived to a door with a small sign saying “Laboratory” beside it and Faina knocked firmly. The door opened by a tall, slim man with dark hair and thick glasses.

“Captain,” he greeted with a small bow of his head and let them in.

“Kirill, this is Doctor Ludmil from Belarus. Have you finished all the tests?” Faina asked turned to the dark man.

“I’m afraid so,” the doctor sighed and closed the door. “Please take a seat.”

Kirill looked around and saw a high stool and seated on it. Faina preferred so stand and her posture showed just how much influence the military had had on her, with her feet apart, back straight and hands on her back.

The doctor collected all his papers and carefully looked through them. He checked something on a device and controlled on his papers.

“I’m afraid I have affirmed the use of drugs, but none that has been taken for a long period of time,” the man said carefully as he turned to his guests, looking over his glasses. “And as you suspected, captain, she is showing signs of stress.”

“Have you confirmed what kind of drugs she’s taken?” Faina asked stiffly.

The doctor sighed and furrowed his brows. “No, ma’am. But the drugs aren’t the greatest concern in this matter. The girl is taking poison.”

“Poison?!” Kirill stood straight. “Is she trying to kill herself?!”

Doctor Ludmil gave him a dark-eyed look that showed just how worried he was. “That. Or somebody is trying to kill her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what "I can't think of anything so let's just go with this" looks like. I'm so sorry for the sloppiness of this chapter!


	21. Suspicions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to remind you all that Kirill not always using the right words is intentional. Any mistakes outside of that are errors because I'm only human and thus not a perfect writer. Do point them out to me if you happen to spot them though :)

Fuwa Sho lay awake on his bed. He had a lot on his mind and didn’t want most of it. He tried to think about what work he had to get done first thing when he returned to Tokyo the next day, but a pair of bright, glaring eyes got in the way.

Kyoko. She could handle things on her own. That girl had always carried all her burdens alone and would most probably do so until the day she died. So why should he feel worried about her?

Sho was just getting riled up when a hard knock on the door disturbed him.

“What is it?” he called and went to open, but the door beat him to it by opening from outside, revealing Kilill-san and one of the location’s staff people. Kilill-san had a tense expression and he walked straight to the middle of the room where he abruptly stopped and stared straight ahead.

Sho turned a questioning look at the man still standing in the doorway, waiting for an explanation.

“Fuwa-san,” the man greeted with a quick salute. “I am sorry to inform that you are not allowed to leave the cottage for a while.”

“What?!”

“My apologies, Fuwa-san. Captain has ordered that nobody leave their cottage until the situation is cleared.”

“What situation?”

“Mogami Kyoko has been poisoned,” Kilill hissed an explanation.

Sho’s heart stopped.

“Captain doesn’t suspect anybody,” the other man said reassuringly. “But if it was an attempted murder we must of course contact the police. Captain is just starting a search for the poison and if it can’t be found in the team she belongs to we will have to search your luggage and equipment too, I’m afraid.”

“Thank you,” Kilill-san said stiffly. “Please leave now and we’ll go to sleep. It’s been a long day.”

The man bowed and backed out of the door, closing it quietly.

Sho just stood there, not knowing what to do with himself. The words had hit him like falling boulders. He couldn’t breathe. Kyoko… Kyoko had… been poisoned? Attempted murder? Murder Kyoko?

A large hand roughly patted his back and Sho stumbled forward, landing painfully on his knees. He gasped, both from the pain of impact and lack of air.

“You know Mogami Kyoko?”

The Japanese man looked up into Kilill-san’s intense blue eyes. His brows were furrowed and the tattoos were a stark contrast against his pale skin. Sho fixed his attention on the tattoos, his mind still in deep shock. Those thin black lines were good to look at instead of the older man’s eyes.

“You know Mogami Kyoko in person.”

Sho forced himself to snap out of it. He couldn’t do that, but he had always been good at pretending not to care. He rose to his feet and dusted off his knees.

“She’s just a childhood friend,” he stated as indifferently as he could manage and pretended that squeak to his voice wasn’t there. “Why’d you slap me? It really hurt.”

“You almost faint,” the Russian man pointed out.

Sho snorted, but the truth was that he really felt faint. He needed an escape, somewhere he could sort out his thoughts and think properly and where Kilill-san wasn’t staring at him with such an intense gaze.

“I’m going to bed.” It was the best Sho could come up with at the moment, so he turned around and took a step towards his private area of the cottage. “Wake me up…”

A hard hand grabbed Sho’s shoulder painfully and threw him against the wall. Kilill-san was just as strong as he seemed to be. Even though he had really slender fingers they felt like iron when they held Sho around the upper arm and grabbed his collar.

“Listen to me,” the older man ordered with his deep voice. Sho’s heart trembled from the sound of it. “I been there and lost many. Ivy say this; the living live, and that will change.”

“She’s not…!” Sho started, but the denial he wanted to voice stuck in his throat. He understood what Kilill-san said, but couldn’t accept it. “She can’t…!” he tried again. “Kyoko is… Kyoko, for god’s sake! She won’t… wouldn’t just…”

“I before told you, Fuva. If you take that girl for granted she will be gone when you turn your back.”

Sho remembered those words. He had forcibly pushed them to the back of his mind just so he could get some proper sleep. Kilill-san’s voice was very soft for some reason, and the tone he used had Sho wishing he was anywhere but here. It hurt too much. He wasn’t used to this kind of feelings. This chill of fear that made him feel like he was going to be sick.

“Kyoko has… always been there… always…”

“Da,” Kilill-san’s gentle voice cut through Sho’s defences like a bullet. “Aleksandra-nee-san and Akilina-nee-san were always there for me. Faina-nee-san and Esfir-nee-san were always there. My twin was always there. Now only I am here, Fuva.”

“So what!?” Sho’s sudden outburst caught the elder by surprise. “So what if your sisters are gone? They aren’t like Kyoko. She always comes through, even if she don’t have friends and her mother is mean to her, she always comes through.”

“Her mother?” Kilill-san blinked. “You mean Polnoch Sana?”

If Sho’s world had been spinning, it stopped now. He knew his hearing was perfect, so he couldn’t have heard wrong. The words repeated in his head like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, but they couldn’t fit together.

“What… did you say?”

“Polnoch Sana, her real name be Mogami Sana, is it not?”

“Moga… mi?” The pieces fell into place with the sound of the world crashing. “POLNOCH SANA IS KYOKO’S MOM!?!?!?” That’s why there had been a bell ringing in the back of his head when they met! That’s why his mother had given her a letter! Polnoch Sana is Kyoko’s mom! Kyoko’s mom had taken his measures and smiled at him! Kyoko’s mom!!!

Kirill held up the younger man as Fuva’s body suddenly went limb. How come this was such a shock for him? Kirill could tell from the Japanese man’s voice he had had enough for tonight. His consciousness had escaped him and something painful was rising inside him.

With a sigh Kirill draped one of Fuva’s arms around his neck and half carried, half pulled the teenager to his bed and let him down on it, covering him with the blanket. This was all he could do for now.

As he walked up to his own bed, pulling his shirt off at the same time, Kirill tried to gather all the information he had.

Fuva had just confirmed that Polnoch Sana indeed was Mogami Sana and Mogami Kyoko’s mother, which in turn meant that the designer was the woman his uncle had wanted to marry. The only uncertainty was if Mogami Kyoko was really Naum’s daughter. Even if her age was about right, there was nothing that confirmed Polnoch Sana’s loyalty. She could have had a child with another man right after she went back to Japan after that incident. However, that wouldn’t explain Kirill’s bond to her. He was pretty sure there was one. Yes, Mogami Kyoko had to be Naum’s daughter, which automatically made her Kirill’s cousin.

He sat down on the edge of his bed, resting his elbows on his knees and his head against his knuckles. He had finally found Naum’s woman and now he knew Polnoch Sana had given birth to Naum’s daughter, but that didn’t solve anything. It rather had caused a whole new lot of problems on the already mile-long list. How was Kirra involved? Why had Mogami Kyoko been poisoned? Did Polnoch Sana know Kirill was here and who he was? On top of that there were Ivy’s words last night. She was right. Even if he did find pieces of his old family now it didn’t mean he’d be able to patch it up. He certainly did have a new family now, and  he wouldn’t give up on it for anything in the world.

However, that didn’t mean he shouldn’t care about his cousin. Kirra had wanted to say something when she kidnapped him that day, otherwise she wouldn’t have told him about Mogami Kyoko.

Kirill shook his head. This was too much for him to solve alone. He should go to sleep and hope to talk to Yuni tomorrow. She’d know what to do. Mogami Kyoko was safe in Faina’s care, Kirill was sure. He trusted his sister would protect her.

So, with that slightly reassuring thought, Kirill crawled under the covers to catch some sleep.

 

* * *

 

It was dark where she was. No, her eyes were closed, that’s why it was dark. It was better this way. As long as she kept her eyes closed she wouldn’t have to face anyone or anything.

But darkness couldn’t close out sounds. They penetrated the abyss she tried to hide in like burning spikes.

_“Kuu Hizuri’s son. Corn-san.”_

The image danced teasingly on the inside of her eyelids. Corn flying through the air. Tsuruga-san flying through the air.

_“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”_

That false, poisonous, slimy gentleman smile. Tsuruga-san had been lying. For how long had he been lying to her? How long had he been leading her on? How much had he been laughing at her?

The bitter taste of betrayal. She had gotten used to it by now, but that didn’t make the pain less real now than the first time this happened. Shotaro had been leading her on throughout her life and it hurt as much now as it had when she realized it. Corn too. The brightest shining gem in her memory, the happiness she always recalled so that she could move on. It was all a lie too.

There had been no light. The happiness had been a veil. Corn had been lying all along.

Tsuruga-san had been lying all along.

“Why do I always… fall for it?”

Doctor Ludmil turned his attention to his patient. Had he just imagined that? The girl on the bed was still swaying between sleeping and unconsciousness. He had been with her all night now. The clock was nearing four in the morning. The search for drugs and poison had resulted in nothing last night, so the suspicion that someone was trying to kill this girl was still in the air. However, Captain had decided to wait until morning before she searched the other two teams.

The doctor sighed quietly and gently caressed his patient’s forehead.

So young, she didn’t deserve death.

 

* * *

 

Tsuruga Ren hadn’t slept. It was bad, he knew, but they wouldn’t be able to work much today. Last night they had been informed of a situation where a girl from one of the other teams had been poisoned, and that they were all confined to their little collection of cottages until the situation had cleared.

To say Ren was worried would be an understatement. A girl from one of the other teams had been poisoned. He hoped it wasn’t Mogami-san. But Captain-san had said Mogami-san had taken drugs. Ren didn’t want to believe it. Why would Mogami-san take drugs? For what?

Poisoned.

Suspicion of an attempted murder.

Ren did hope it wasn’t Mogami-san. He had fought reality all night, but it was a tough opponent. Also, Mogami-san’s words yesterday.

_“You are just like Sho.”_ That was certainly a kick to the chins.

Damn, wrapping it up nicely like that didn’t work. In reality it was like a bullet through his heart! Why would she say something like that? Mogami-san was not the person to throw a phrase like that on people. Nor was making accusations of making fun of her.

Could she really have heard Captain-san call him Corn?

Ren swallowed. This was a terrible mess and he had no idea of where to turn. He needed help to sort this out. Yashiro would be the most obvious person he’d turn to, but not right now.

 

* * *

 

Lory Takarada dismounted the giant Shire horse and handed the reins to Sebastian. Taking off the knight’s helmet and removing the right glove from his hand he accepted the ringing cell phone his secretary handed him.

“This is Sir Takarada of the round table. How can  my assistance serve you today?”

“President. It’s me.”

Lory blinked. This was unusual. “Ren. You don’t call me often. Has something happened?”

“Yes.”

Certainly unusual, Lory thought. It was rare for Ren to call at all, even more so to sound so helpless and straight to the point.

He closed the door to his office.

“Tell me, Ren.”

“It’s about Mogami-san. I… I don’t really know if it’s her, but a girl from one of the other teams has been poisoned.”

A chill went through Lory’s body. The heavy armour he wore didn’t protect him against words, he had known that.

“Ren. Tell me everything. Why do you suspect it is Mogami-kun?”

 

* * *

 

An hour later Lory hung up and stared at the device in his hand with a thoughtful and troubled expression. He had promised Ren he would look into things, but before he had promised himself not to get involved with Mogami-kun anymore. Now he had to break that promise. If Mogami-kun was indeed at risk of dying, he had to do something. Actually, though it hurt him so much to think it, he had a suspect already.

Mogami Saena.

Lory believed in love to be the heart of everything and the feeling that made people walk and live. He wished he had never met that woman. Lory was eccentric most of the time, but not stupid. He had given up on the search for Mogami-kun’s father, but now Ren had unexpectedly delivered an important clue. Captain Latch Faina of Kioku, her uncle had worked together with Kuu long ago. Captain Latch was originally from Russia, and Kuu had only ever acted with one Russian actor; Lastotjka Naum.

Lory didn’t wait. He couldn’t dump this one on Sawara-san. If Mogami-kun really had been poisoned for one reason or another every second was valuable. He had to look it up himself instantly.

This man had been the president of L.M.E since it was founded, because of course, he had founded it himself. Since then thousands and thousands of people had come and gone through his office and his life, not even Lory could remember all of them without help. The fact was also that he had never met Naum-san in person.

So Lory had Sebastian help him take off the chest armour. He wore a mail underneath his tunica with his own shield. In this attire he sat down on his sofa in front of his portable computer. Connecting it to the archives Lory started tapping away.

Checking up Captain Latch first Lory checked family status; unmarried with no children. Family; unknown. He would have to ask her to update this.

Hizuri Kuu. Lory skipped all the personal data and went straight to the merit list. It took a few minutes, but Lory managed to find the people he had been looking for; Polnoch Sana, designing the special attire for all male actors in the movie _Mended Hearts_ , under the name of Mogami Saena. She must have changed her name some time after this, because this was her first really big job.

Starring in the same movie was also this man; Lastotjka Naum, in Japan known under the alias Lasto Namu. Lory made a new search for this man.

The side came up.

“What the…” L.M.E’s president couldn’t help but stare. It was true. His intuition had been correct. He had seen this man’s eyes often enough. Lasto Namu is Mogami-kun’s father! He had had a romantic relationship with Polnoch Sana, even making her pregnant. What became of this woman and her daughter was history.

Lory continued his searching. Naum’s merit list didn’t say anything interesting. Only the things he’d done in Japan. Lory cursed under his breath. If he wanted to know what Naum had been doing in Russia, he’d need to read Russian papers and sites, and he couldn’t read cyrillic. He only knew some Russian greeting phrases and common politeness by sound, but that’s the end of his knowledge.

But that didn’t matter, because Captain Latch Faina could tell him most to everything that he wanted to know.

 

* * *

 

It was nearing midday this sunny day and Sho refused to go outside. Kirill left him to go and see Yuni.

The cottages were guarded by only a few staff men who nodded at him.

“I’m only going to see the girls,” Kirill felt the need to explain.

“We won’t stop you, sir. As long as you don’t leave the area you’re free to move.”

“Oh. Thank you.”

“Pardon the trouble,” the man said with a slight smile.

Kirill nodded his understanding and went to the cottage where the girls resided. He knocked on the door and Malin opened it instantly.

“Oh, it’s just you. Come on in.”

“Were you waiting for someone?” Kirill asked jokingly, earning a light punch on his arm. He couldn’t help it. Malin was fun to tease when she was edgy.

“Kirill, what happened?” Yuni asked and rose from her chair, her face a mirror of worry.

“Nothing, really. I just want to talk to you.”

With a deep sigh of relief, Yuni fell back into the armchair and held her head. “Please don’t scare me like that. I thought you came to say the poisoned girl has died.”

“Do you know who it is?”

“No, but we figured that if she died, you’d know it first.”

“Oh… I see.”

Kirill indecisively stood and weighted on his feet.

“If you have something to say,” Ivy’s voice carried from the corner of the room, “just say it. Your nervousness won't help anybody.”

“You’re right, it doesn’t,” Kirill admitted and looked around for somewhere to sit.

Malin stood from the chair she had occupied with Zoya and sat on the armrest of Yuni’s chair. Kirill smiled at seated.

“The one who was poisoned, it’s Mogami Kyoko.”

Yuni sat straighter in her chair. Malin sprung up.

“Say what! Why? Why her? Last night the staff said they couldn’t let us out because of the suspicion of murder! Murder, Kirill!”

“I know. Faina came to get me after we were done filming last night.” The girls nodded. They remembered that. “You know Faina is my older sister, that’s why she got me, and she told me she had found Mogami Kyoko standing in the forest and supposedly on drugs.”

Malin slowly sat down, her eyes still wide and her mouth hanging open.

“What happened, Kirill?” Yuni asked quietly.

“To be honest, I don't know, but gathering everything from when we arrived in Japan to now, I’m willing to make a guess.”

“Wait, my head is spinning. I can’t gather my thoughts. Whatever’s happened in Japan, please sum it up for me,” Malin begged, holding her head.

“Of course. Malin, you know I’ve heard a certain voice ever since we landed? I recall I told you all.”

“Yes.”

“Yesterday I could confirm that voice belong to a pretty young actress; Mogami Kyoko, whom you have met once, correct.”

“Yes, I remember her. She’s the nice girl who took care of Zoya when _you_ decided to get your ass abducted.”

“Not now, Malin,” Ivy said firmly.

Kirill looked over to the blind woman who sat with a nervous-looking Elexa in her arms. Ivy seemed to take all of this very soberly. For that Kirill was grateful.

“Right, good thing you brought that up, Malin. The one who kidnapped me was my twin sister Kirra whom I believed was dead. She didn’t tell me much and she didn’t hurt me. However, there are three important aspects of Kirra’s act that was… interesting, so to say.”

“Except for Zoya being left in Miss Mogami’s care?” Yuni asked.

“No, including that,” Kirill corrected solemnly. “Kirra is cunning, always was, there is a reason she left Zoya with Mogami of all people. The second aspect is that she appeared before me at all without doing anything. I’m willing to bet my whole career she has a finger in this game somehow, if not, she would never have talked to me eye to eye.”

“And the third ‘interesting’ aspect?” Malin asked warily.

“That Kirra asked me if I remembered my uncle Naum, and then dropped the information that the name of the girl she had left Zoya with was named Mogami, the same last name as uncle’s Japanese fiancée.”

The women all sucked in that detail.

“So this voice that has distracted you so much since our arrival here is your cousin?” Ivy asked for clarification. Kirill swallowed because of her tone of voice.

“I do believe so, but I have no solid proof. Yet.”

“And she is the girl who right now is treated for poisoning in Kioku’s infirmary?”

“Yes.”

The blind woman made a face. “If that is the case, it will be quite hard to contact her in the immediate future.”

“Yes, I know. Though I’m still not certain how to approach her at all. Because, even if she is my cousin, she didn’t grow up knowing my uncle, her father.”

“Why is that?” Malin asked.

Kirill opened his mouth to answer, but the words stuck in his throat. He tried again, but he still couldn’t say it. He sent a pleading look to Yuni.

“Because,” the little woman started slowly, “when Naum Lastotjka came back to Russia with his fiancée, his fans maimed a woman in his company, believing that woman was the bride-to-be.”

Malin slowly straightened, eyes wider than ever, but it seemed she couldn’t find anything to say and just slumped back.

“That’s so cruel.”

Kirill glanced over to Elexa, his little girl. She was crying, and the sight cut into the man’s heart. He could only nod.

“What happened with the real fiancée? This Mogami woman?” Ivy asked clearly. Her strong voice somehow eased a portion of the tension in the room.

“Actually, I don’t know,” Kirill admitted. “At least not the details. In short, uncle Naum’s woman returned to Japan immediately after the incident and never returned.”

“But the woman was pregnant already?” Ivy inquired.

“She must have been, but nobody knew. The suspicion that uncle even had a daughter didn’t hit me before Kirra told me of Mogami Kyoko.”

Ivy hummed quietly, patting Elexa’s soft locks in a comforting manner. “I see.”

“So in the end, no matter where it started, it ends with Mogami Kyoko,” Yuni concluded.

“Pretty much,” Kirill confirmed.

The little woman made a face saying she really didn’t like the situation. She chewed on her thumb glaring at the wall. Mogami Kyoko, she was the nice girl who had helped Yuni out upon her arrival to Japan. The preparations of her arrival had been poor to say at least and Miss Mogami had been of great help. From Kirill’s explanation and his reactions regarding the voice of Miss Mogami and the girl in person Yuni knew that the young girl was suffering too. Fate was really cruel to a selected few while some people wasn’t even aware if its cruelty.

“What about Fuwa?” Malin suddenly asked.

“Fuva?” Kirill stared incredulously at Malin. “What about Fuva?”

“He and Miss Mogami are childhood friends.”

The Russian man stared at her, and then slapped a hand over his face. Yes they were. He had spoken to Fuva only last night, but the information hadn’t clicked until now. Last night he had been too upset to think straight.

“I spoke to Fuwa only the day before yesterday,” Malin explained slowly. “It seems Mogami and Fuwa are childhood friends. I thought they could be brother and sister, but Fuwa denied it, saying… He said; I. Am. Not. _Her_. Son. His exact words.”

“Yes, I remember you said that,” Yuni nodded. “Thus another two pieces adds to this puzzle; the relationship between Fuwa and Miss Mogami’s mother, as well as the relationship between mother and daughter.”

“But she doesn’t know her father,” Elexa suddenly piped up slowly. “Why? Did her father not want her?”

“I don’t think he even knew he had a daughter, sweetheart,” Kirill explained with a sad smile.

“Why not?”

“Because even if Mogami’s father wrote letters to Mogami’s mother, she never answered.”

“Why not? Didn’t she receive the letters?”

“I don’t know, honey. Maybe not. Or maybe she was scared that…”

Yuni, Malin and Elexa stared at the only male in the room as he seemed to be hit by a thought. His eyebrows furrowed and his eyes stared intently at Elexa. It was obvious some pieces of information had connected in his brain.

“She might not have received your uncle’s letters or…?” Yuni prompted.

“Or maybe… he didn’t receive hers," Kirill finished.

“Wouldn’t it be easier to just track down your uncle’s woman and ask her straight out?” Ivy asked impatiently, thinking rationally as always.

“I know who she is,” Kirill said absent-mindedly. “Mogami’s mother is Polnoch Sana.”

The sudden silence in the room didn’t dawn on Kirill until after a few seconds. He looked up to find all the girls, even Ivy, stare at him.

“What?”

Malin and Yuni exchanged looks.

“Kirill,” Ivy said slowly. “You are incredible.”

“What? What have I done?”

“Missed her?” Elexa said with a nervous smile.

Kirill frowned and looked to Yuni.

“You know Polnoch Sana was supposed to design cloths for me when I arrived?” Yuni asked tentatively.

“Yes…?”

“Asami also managed to assign Polnoch Sana to design the cloths we’ve been wearing for this very PV.”

The information still didn’t come through to the Russian man. Malin decided to make it a front attack, hoping it would be most painless.

“The same day you were absent from work and got kidnapped, Polnoch Sana came to the studio to take our measures. You missed her.”

Kirill felt like he had just been caught on candid camera. He slapped his face and groaned, slumping in the armchair he sat in.

“So,” Ivy said, trying to keep a straight face, even though the situation had just turned quite hilarious. “You, your twin Kirra in Tokyo, your older sister Faina here, Polnoch Sana and Fuva. Are there more people connected to Mogami Kyoko or is it safe to ask what happened to your uncle now, Kirill?”

“If there are more people involved, I’m not sure I want to know,” the man said, rubbing his face as if that could take away the irony. He sighed deeply. “Uncle Naum is dead.”

“How?”

 

* * *

 

Faina picked up her cell phone and quirked an eyebrow at the hidden number. Her staff was only just finished thoroughly searching through the second drama team on the site, luckily coming up empty-handed once again, and was heading towards the PV filming team where her brother was at.

She answered the phone with a curt “Latch.”

_“Captain Latch Faina-dono. This is Takarada Lory, president of L.M.E.”_

“If you want to send a team to Kioku I must decline. I have my hands full, president,” Faina said matter-of-factly. She was really not in the mood to deal with more work right now.

_“Yes. I am afraid I have been informed about your matter at hand, Captain. Which is indirectly the reason of my call.”_

Faina stopped and her men with her. “Please definite your choice of words, president.”

_“I have a few personal questions,”_ the voice in the phone said seriously.

Faina thought for a second before she turned to her staff. “Go ahead, but don’t start anything before I arrive.”

“Yes Captain.”

The tall woman waited until she was alone before she turned and took a different path. Once she was certain she was alone she put the cell back to her ear. “You want to know what has happened?” she asked, straight to the point.

_“I do. Please tell me the name of the girl who was poisoned.”_

“Kyouko. She belongs to your agency.”

A silence on the other line momentarily alerted Faina. She had shared that information solely because the president of an agency deserved to know what happened to his artists, but what the president decided to do now she could only guess, and the longer the man on the other line stayed silent the more anxious Faina got.

_“I see. How is she?”_

The Russian woman blinked. The president’s voice sounded genuinely remorseful and sad. It made Faina silently sigh from relief. “I have not seen to her since this morning, but the doctor here will contact me should Mogami-san’s condition worsen.”

_“That’s a relief. Thank you for taking such good care of my girl…”_

“ _Your_ girl, president?”

_“Yes, Mogami-kun is very dear to me, which leads straight to my next question. Mogami-kun’s father is also your uncle Lastotjka Naum?”_

Faina blinked from surprise. That was certainly not on her list of expected questions. “I don’t know, but I have suspected as much.”

_“So you didn’t know?”_

“About a child, no.”

_“But about Lasto-san’s relationship with a Japanese woman?”_

“Mogami Sana, aka Polnoch Sana. Yes, I know.”

_“Um… yes. Of course. I must ask you to update your profile, Captain. Your family status says ‘unknown’.”_

It was with wariness Faina glanced sideways, as if the president she was talking to was standing there. “I will,” she answered slowly. “How did you know?”

_“Know what?”_

The answer was so fast and innocent-sounding Faina wished she could see his face. It would be so much easier to judge the president’s intentions if she could just see his face.

“It doesn’t matter. I will update my profile and send it to the archive as soon as I have cleared up the situation at hand. Will you please help me send a prayer for me not to find anything confirming an attempted murder?”

_“I will, Captain. With all my heart.”_

“Thank you. Do you have any more questions?”

_“Yes. I would like to know where Lastotjka Naum is and how to contact him.”_

“I’m afraid you can’t contact him, president. Uncle committed suicide eleven years ago.”


	22. The Black Goddess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lory Takarada is closning in on the truth, but one person has decided to stop him.

Lory Takarada, president of L.M.E, sat on the phone with Captain Latch, owner of Kioku; a filming location in Kyushu, Japan’s third largest island. The president had called to make sure Mogami Kyoko, the girl this story revolves around, was fine. The reason of concern was because Ren had called Lory earlier and said that a girl had been poisoned. Captain Latch had just confirmed that the victim of the poison was indeed Mogami Kyoko. Upon asking about Mogami-kun’s father and Captain Latch’s uncle; Naum Lastotjka from Russia, the captain dropped a bomb.

“Suicide?!” Lory sputtered loudly.

_“Yes, but please don’t ask me why. I don’t know more than anybody else.”_

“But…? What happened?”

_“That’s what I… no, what **we’d** like to know, my little brother and I. Seventeen and a half year or so ago there was this incident where a woman was killed by uncle’s fans. The police captured the mob and they confessed they thought the woman they had killed was uncle’s fiancée. After that, Mogami left Russia and never came back.”_

Lory leaned back in his seat and pulled on his moustache. Hi heart was in pain and feeling for Mogami-kun’s mother for the first time.

_“But…”_

Lory jumped to attention at the hesitant voice on the phone. “But what?”

_“Maybe there is… one who knows what happened,”_ the captain said slowly, as if she wasn’t really sure about the fact, or if she wanted to share it.

“One?”

_“Yes… only one. I didn’t know she was alive, but Kirill… my little brother, said he met her in Tokyo. But she… I honestly don’t know any more than that she’s alive, and that she might know everything about what happened back then.”_

“All right,” the president said softly. “I’ll contact her. What’s her name?”

A long silence followed where Lory patiently waited for the woman on the other line to speak. For some reason this was hard on the captain. Lory silently wondered why.

_“Her name is Kirra. At least when we grew up that was her name. I don’t know about now.”_

The president pinched the bridge of his nose, knowing what this meant. “So there is no certain way for me to contact her? Your brother can’t either?”

_“About that… Kirra had… no, she has a… well, a sixth sense so to say. Contacting her is not a problem. Just whisper her name at night.”_

Lory stared at his phone. “Say what?”

_“Sounds fishy, doesn’t it?”_ Captain Latch said with a lighter tone of voice. _“That pair of twins got the same power, but Kirra’s was always a lot stronger. If you whisper her name at night she will hear you, but I can’t guarantee she will heed your call.”_

It was slightly hard to accept, but Lory was still more determined to find out the truth. So what if the methods happened to seem a bit odd…? Wait…?

“That pair of twins?” he asked slowly.

_“Yes,”_ the captain said easily. _“My little brother is Kirill Mertvye, born Kirill Lastotjka, vocalist of **Mertvye Svjatye** … um, **The dead Saints**. Kirra is his twin sister. My little sister.”_

“Oh, I see.” Lory rubbed his chin in thought. From the sounds of it the captain had quite complicated family issues. “Very well. I will do as you say. Forgive me if I bothered you. Please take good care of Mogami-kun for me.”

_“I will, President. Be careful.”_

“Huh?”

Instead of answering, Captain Latch hung up and left Lory hanging, much to his displeasure. Nobody hung up on Lory Takarada! But she did have quite a situation to take care of, so Lory thought he’d let the woman get away with it this one time. Besides, he had gotten what he wanted, now he only had to wait until night…

“It’s hours ‘till night!” he yelled at the shining sun outside the wide windows. “Am I supposed to wait for answers all day? Who do you take me for?!”

 

* * *

 

Yuni, Malin, Elexa, Zoya and Ivy sat in silence staring at the only male in the room. Kirill had just finished telling them everything he knew about what had happened to his uncle and Mogami Sana. Zoya couldn’t understand much else than that her father was in pain and had taken up a seat on his lap to hug and comfort him. Much appreciated.

Elexa didn’t know what to do either, but Ivy was patting her hair in a comforting manner. Ivy and Malin were taking in the information about Kirill’s uncle’s fate. Yuni, who had already known everything from the beginning to end, was two steps ahead thinking about what to do next, both to try to contact Miss Mogami’s mother, as well as she was thinking about Miss Mogami in person. The young actress was the first and second priority at the moment.

“How is Miss Mogami doing now, Kirill?” the supermodel asked quietly. “Can you hear her?”

“Only faintly,” Kirill admitted. “Her voice has quieted down ever since we left Tokyo.”

“But you can tell how she is?”

The man sighed with frustration. “I’m not sure. It was that incident the day before we went here. That’s the last really strong wave I’ve felt from her. It’s almost like… she’s fading away…”

“That’s what happens to people,” Ivy’s sharp voice cut through the air. “When the world betrays them once too many times, people fade away. It happens all the time, every day.”

“Don’t be a bitch now, Ivy,” Yuni warned.

“Someone has to be the realistic one here, fighter. People do fade away. What this Mogami girl needs most is something solid to hold on to, but Kirill says the girl’s voice has quieted down. It probably means that her solid support is gone.”

Kirill felt a chill settle in his stomach. Ivy was absolutely right. One way or another Mogami must have been losing all her support. When that happened to a person there was only one way to go if nobody noticed the fall. Kirill had written a total of eight songs about that theme already. He berated himself, knowing he should have noticed the signs long ago.

“So what about Fuwa?” Malin asked suddenly. “Can’t we just describe the situation to him and let him solve the problem?”

“If problems were solved that easily this world would be close to perfect,” Ivy said venomously.

Malin sighed quietly. “I didn’t mean it like that. Mogami and Fuwa belong to different departments. I figured they don’t get to meet that often. As far as I know they haven’t met once since we arrived here some weeks ago.”

“If the girl wanted Fuva’s support, she would have asked for it,” Ivy stated. “But it seems to me they haven’t been in contact for all this time.”

“That’s true,” Kirill nodded. “Fuva didn’t even know Polnoch Sana is Mogami’s mother.”

“Really?” Yuni asked with a frown.

“He all but fainted from the shock when I told him last night.”

Yuni let out a breath and slumped in the armchair. Elexa looked from one to another, trying to follow but still not understanding everything. Zoya had fallen asleep a while ago.

“This is what we’ll do,” Yuni suddenly spoke up, her voice very determined as she straightened up again. “As soon as we can we will explain to Fuwa roughly what we know about the situation. Kirill can do it, since Miss Mogami is your cousin. Tell him that too if you want to. Since Miss Mogami and Fuwa are childhood friends I’m sure he can take care of things from then on.”

“How so sure?” Ivy asked suspiciously.

“It’s true I don’t understand much to any Japanese, but I have eyes. Fuwa has a good level of social competence. He treats most people very smoothly.”

Kirill nodded his head. “Okay, Yuni. I’ll talk to Fuva. Let’s pray for the best.”

“Indeed,” Ivy said bitterly.

 

* * *

 

Past noon. Faina let out a breath of sincere relief. Their search for poison or drugs was fruitless and doctor Ludmil had just called to say that Mogami was awake and seemingly fine.

“This kind of stress is not good,” Faina groaned and took a deep breath before she turned back to her staff. “Case closed. Break up the security and let the teams resume their work. Queen Record’s team finished last night. Help them pack up. Dismissed.”

The captain left to check on the patient. Hopefully she wouldn’t be too upset about what had happened and that Ludmil would have found an antidote for the poison. The drugs were still a reason for concern, but Faina hoped that if the girl really was taking drugs, then she would have learnt her lesson by now and stop.

Entering the infirmary and walking straight to Mogami’s room, the captain was greeted by a sight and words she surely hadn’t expected.

“I, Mogami Kyoko, am back from the land of brooding and ready to take on the world!”

Faina stared. The girl was sitting in seiza position on the floor and glaring at her with a gaze full of challenge and daring.

“That’s… good to hear,” was all the Russian woman could say before she cleared her throat and stood straighter. “I will take you back to your team. They are worried about you.”

“Yes. I have caused you a lot of trouble. Gomen nasai.”

‘This girl must have practiced in traditional Japanese customs,’ was Faina’s first thought when seeing the ease with which Kyoko bowed, with all the little details that belonged to it. Despite Faina being of Russian origin she had seen enough Japanese people doing this kind of thing to tell the old tradition keepers from the modern imitators.

“I have… a question for you,” the captain said slowly.

“Yes?”

“Do you know anything about your father?”

Kyoko blinked, obviously not having expected a question on that matter.

“I’m sorry but… I don’t have a father.”

“Never had one?”

The girl shook her head negative. “Why?”

“I knew him. If you’re ready to go, follow me back to your people. Especially Shiva Io has been worried about you. Come on now.”

Kyoko scrambled to her feet and followed the tall woman out of the room.

“Wait! You knew my dad???”

“I even worked with him for a bit. He was an exceptional actor, and you have his eyes.” Faina glanced at the stunned girl following her. “And his plainness.”

“Eh?” Kyoko made a face as if Faina had just stepped on a sore toe. “I see,” she said, her voice as deep as could be and smirking in mocking. “So I’m a plain and boring girl, because my father was a plain and boring man? Good to know. Very good to know.”

The captain stared at the younger girl. “It was a compliment,” she explained.

“Huh? How can telling me I’m dull and boring be a compliment?”

“I said nothing about dull and boring,” Faina said with emphasis. “Naum… your father had a plain face, yes, but that was his strongest weapon. Because you know actors have to be really good at expressing themselves through more than appearance alone. It’s a fact that the plainer the face the wider range of differences in appearance, which makes the actor able to partake in many different genres.”

Kyoko looked at her, so Faina knew she was listening and working through what she had just said.

“I never… thought about it like that,” the teenager mumbled softly.

Faina couldn’t help but smile. “I take it you’ve been hearing more than your share about your plain face. Feels good, right? That the one thing other people look down upon is your advantage. Sometimes I wish I was like that.”

Kyoko nodded slowly, a pale flush of pink on her cheeks.

“Let’s go then,” the captain said, swiftly turning around and started walking. “That director of yours has been agonizing about his movie project long enough.”

“Wa…wait for me!” Kyoko hurried after the taller woman, stumbling twice, without the captain’s notice.

 

* * *

 

The staff of _Always a child_ was relieved to see Kyoko back and healthy, for different reasons. Now they could finally resume the filming. Director Sou was actually crying from relief.

“Thank goodness you’re alright, Mogami-chan! Don’t ever scare me like that again! I thought you’d cancel the project and I’d have to find a new actress and reshoot the entire movie and the budget isn’t big enough for that!”

“I’m very sorry, director,” Kyoko apologized and bowed. “I promise you I will not cancel this job. As an actress of pride I will finish it to the outmost of my abilities!”

She had said that once before, Sou remembered, and it made him just as happy to hear it again.

Shiva also let out a breath of relief. It seemed Kyoko was back to her normal, happy and determined self. The older actress had missed this Kyoko. Ever since that time back in Abiko, in the scene against Hoshisawa-san, Kyoko had changed in some way. It was only now that Shiva saw the old Kyoko that she noticed it.

“I’m glad Mogami-san came back this fast,” Shiva heard her manager say. “Even so, the delay is still a fact, Shiva-san.”

“It can’t be helped. The captain did the right thing, and she was very thorough.”

“Indeed,” the manager muttered quietly and straightened his necktie. “I thought I’d give you a couple of days off when we returned to Tokyo. One of those days is now lost.”

“That’s fine with me,” Shiva stated firmly. “One must always be prepared for delay in this business.”

After that her manager stayed quiet. Only Shiva could ever drive him into that corner so easily.

Kyoko was going through all the staff, asking different questions about her health and what had happened. Each time Kyoko hesitated for a few seconds, then she smiled and answered with an embarrassed face.

Shiva decided to take her turn asking questions.

“Kyoko-chan.”

The girl politely turned to face her. “Yes?”

Her pupils were slightly off, Shiva noticed. So she wasn’t as recovered as she wanted everyone to believe. But who was Shiva to call the younger actress on it when she worked so hard to seem fine.

“Welcome back.”

Kyoko looked surprised, but after the words registered in her mind she smiled brightly.

“Thank you, Shiva-san.”

Shiva sighed lightly and smiled back. She still wanted to know what had happened to the younger, but figured it wasn’t important. As long as Kyoko-chan smiled, Shiva supposed it was alright.

 

* * *

 

Fuwa Sho, _The dead Saints_ and all their equipment and their staff were prepared to leave. The captain was there to see them off, tall and proud and as plainly dressed as she was when they had arrived to this place.

For some reason Sho couldn’t understand, Kilill-san had requested him and Soya travelled in the other van this time. Shoko-san and Asami-san had both accepted. The driver hadn’t. If that large man wanted to go with them, two people had to go in the other van. That wasn’t as welcome a suggestion, but the driver had to follow the rules in order to keep his driver license.

In the end the Russian man had taken his request back.

Faina waited for the ordeal to pass before she called her brother towards her. Kirill gave the little girl he carried to the Egyptian woman in his band and walked up to her.

“I just returned Mogami Kyoko to her team,” Faina started with a low voice. Kirill kept his head low to hear her. “She seemed fine, but I want you to confirm it.”

The younger of the two carefully let his defences fall. After a while he sighed and turned his head and looked into his sister’s grey/pale blue eyes, smiling awkwardly.

“It’s probably okay, Faina. You have done all you can. Leave the rest to me.”

And so Captain Latch watched her brother join his team and the vans drove away. She heaved a heavy sigh and a deep wrinkle appeared in her forehead.

“So you mean to say she’s not okay after all, huh? Little brother.”

Somewhere in her heart she wondered if this was the last she’d see of her younger brother. When his business in Japan was finished he’d return to Russia, but Faina couldn’t go back there, didn’t want to risk being captured by the army and punished for deserting. She had made a home here in Japan and damn if she would leave it. Mogami Kyoko, she might be uncle Naum’s daughter and Faina’s cousin, or she might not. Either way the Russian woman made up her mind; she wouldn’t risk the life she had now to chase a shard of something long since lost.

 

* * *

 

Finally night-time, and probably just because Takarada Lory wanted to go home early there was a pile of work that needed his immediate attention. The position as president wasn’t all about the fun he loved within the business, there was also a lot of paperwork. Most of the time it was scripts needing an all-clear before a project could really begin. Lory happily reads those. This time it was two serious reports about a make-up artist suspected of attempted rape and a stuntman drinking and driving. No matter what, Lory could not let something like that pass, even if it meant he had to stay at work all night.

As if luck would have it though, the suspected make-up artist was happy to reveal the truth; he had been flirting a bit with one of the actresses and gone just a little too far, but the actress in question had overreacted. Still, the president left the man with a warning; don’t flirt with the actors or you’ll be looking for a new job.

Turning his attention to the drunk driver case Lory still thought of the overreacting actress.

“Hoshisawa Kyoko, hm? Isn’t she appearing in a lot of places lately?”

Though it might not seem important, Lory still worte a note for himself to take a closer look at this Hoshisawa Kyoko. She didn’t belong to his agency.

Researches on the stuntman proved it wasn’t the first time he had been driving while drunk. This was however a case Lory had no choice but to leave for the moment, because the stuntman was out of town, according to his wife.

Finally the president could go home and call for the woman Captain Latch had spoken about this morning.

After asking Sebastian and the maids to please leave him, Lory entered his grandiose, strangely dark living room.

“I’ll let you know this now,” a sour voice said, causing Lory to spin around. In the light falling in from the wide windows he could see a woman lying comfortably across one of the sofas with her hands behind her head. She glared at him with emerald green eyes. “I’m only here because you’ve been getting on my nerves all day.”

Lory calmly glared at the intruder. “Who are you?”

“I’m the one you’ve wanted to contact since this morning,” the woman said, closing her eyes, but the annoyed frown stayed on her forehead.

“This morning?” The only one he had contacted this morning was Captain Latch… “So you are Kirra-san? How did you enter?”

“How would I not enter?” the woman asked back. She seemed like she had been lying there for a while and was now loathe to separate from the sofa.

Lory caught on. “I see. I’m glad you came. There is something I’d like to know.”

The woman, Kirra, chocked a laugh. “You’re _glad_ I came? Damn, nobody’s told me that in more than ten years.” She chuckled darkly. “Just because you’re so polite, you might just make me talk. Ask away.”

Lory seated in the armchair across the sofa. “For certain reasons I have been researching a Russian actor named Naum. This morning I called Captain Latch Faina of Kioku, your sister I heard.”

“You have good ears,” was all Kirra said, as if she didn’t even care, but in a roundabout way she confirmed the sisterhood.

“Thank you. The captain couldn’t tell me anything other than Naum-san committed suicide a decade ago. She told me about you, thinking you might know why.”

For a while the woman stayed quiet, the leg she rested over the other the only thing moving.

“That’s all?”

Lory blinked. “Pardon?”

“You’ve been calling me all day, distracting me from work and annoying the crap out of me, and all you want to know is why Naum is dead?”

She didn’t look very happy about that.

“Actually, I am more curious about Naum-san’s relationship with a Japanese woman named Mogami Saena.”

Kirra looked at him with narrowed eyes. She smirked. “Aren’t you a stupid one? Well, I do indeed know what happened. What makes _you_ worthy of knowing about it?”

“I need to know, in order to save a disastrous mother and child relationship.”

“There are millions of situations like that in this country,” Kirra said indifferently with a wave of her hand. “Or are you thinking of a special pair?”

Lory leaned his head against his knuckles, thinking hard. This Kirra-san was a tricky person. The methods Lory normally used to gather information wouldn’t work on this woman. Just like him, she was fishing for how much he knew, but with a different approach. The only way Lory could see to make Kirra-san open her mouth was for him to play with open cards.

“I believe that Lastotjka Naum and Mogami Saena went to Russia to be married, but while in Russia there was an incident where a woman in Naum-san’s company was murdered. Mogami-dono instantly returned to Japan, and a few months later she gave birth to a girl, her and Naum’s daughter. Mogami-san named her Kyoko.”

While he spoke, Kirra’s smirk grew wider until Lory was certain she was ridiculing him.

“Today,” Lory continued with a deeper voice “the daughter is seventeen, and the chasm between her and Mogami Saena has never been wider, or more painful.”

Kirra actually had the nerve to chuckle. “Yes. Growing up is such a bitch, don’t you think?”

“I can’t find any of this funny,” L.M.E’s president said dangerously.

“Probably because you are a good person, Mr President,” Kirra replied with a light voice. “As for Mogami Kyoko, you needn’t worry. That girl’s fate has already been decided.”

Lory’s face distorted with rage. He sat straight and grabbed the armrests of his chair until his knuckles whitened. “You find this funny,” he accused darkly. “But I don’t. What happened in Russia, the murder of this unknown woman, is heavily affecting Mogami-dono, causing her attitude towards her daughter. What happened?”

Kirra turned to her side, supporting her head on her hand. In the dim light from outside Lory thought she looked like a demon with emerald green eyes that seemed to glow in the dark.

She was still smirking.

“I’m afraid threats don’t work on me, president. Cool your head, or you will be defeated by me.”

Lory stiffened. Kirra-san was definitely teasing him and succeeding. He had to calm down.

Slowly he relaxed against the chair’s back. “So, will you tell me?”

The woman stayed silent for a while. “Sure, I’ve already won anyway,” she answered and sat up Indian style.

Lory frowned slightly. This woman was planning something… no, she was waiting for something to happen. What could it be?

“The murdered woman,” Kirra-san started with a teasing grin “her name was Mogami Nana. Mogami Saena’s older sister.”

Lory’s eyes widened slightly.

“She and I were to be brides maids for the wedding, that’s the sum of it.”

“And the details,” Lory pressed. “Why was Mogami-dono’s nee-san attacked?”

“For some different reasons,” Kirra shrugged. “Naum was a popular actor who could move the hearts of his audience. Of course many a woman would be upset to know the man they dreamed of had had his heart stolen by another woman.”

The man in the chair thought hard. Kirra-san wasn’t actually saying much, testing his patience most likely, or his brain. She had said she would talk, but not for free it seemed. If Lory wasn’t careful this woman would have him chase his own tail. He had to think clearly and keep trailing the important information, leaving out all the baits.

“Was this attack… planned?” he queried slowly.

“It was.”

“…By whom?”

Kirra smirked widely. “By Naum’s own mother.”

Lory swore. He couldn’t help it. He had swallowed the bait whole with hook and all. Kirra-san had already figured him out, and Lory rarely felt this left out to somebody else’s mercy. But Kirra-san had no mercy to spare.

“Grandma couldn’t accept the fact her favourite son, her honey boy, had been taken away, by a Japanese woman least of all. She got Naum’s fans all worked up by saying he was being blackmailed into marriage.” Kirra smiled widely in that ridiculing way of hers, her voice smooth with poison. “You know everything about love, president. That’s why you’re not asking why those women would do such a thing.”

Lory Takarada only nodded slowly. He did know, could understand. But using love as a weapon was unforgiveable no matter what reason lay behind it.

Kirra-san snorted, not quite able to hinder a chuckle. “I’ll spare your heart the real reason why grandmother acted like she did. But let me tell you this, even after Naum killed himself, that old woman never once regretted her act.”

“And you are her progeny,” Lory spat, then bit his tongue. That was a cruel thing to say, even to this woman.

Kirra-san’s eyes dulled and her face darkened as her smirk fully disappeared. “I can’t deny that,” she said lowly. “I, my brother and my sisters all share that woman’s blood. The curse of betraying our own for selfish reasons will probably always haunt my bloodline. Maybe Mogami was only unlucky, and fell in love with the wrong man.”

“That’s not the case,” Lory Takarada said solemnly, keeping his voice low. “There is no wrong and right person. Love strikes us all. The only thing we can do in order to gain happiness is to accept that.”

They sat in silence for a long moment. Lory hadn’t really taken notice before, but his body started to feel heavy. Maybe he was more tired than he had thought.

“The relationship between Saena and Kyoko is the same,” Kirra said lowly, her face still dark.

“Pardon?”

Kirra-san’s smirk returned, but not the glow in her eyes. “You know everything about love, president, how much of a double-edged sword it is. When you want nothing but to protect the one you love but don’t know how, it easily backlashes at the one you want to protect.”

Lory sat still. It wasn’t cruelty he could see in the dulled green eyes. It was only grief. So that’s how it was. Somehow, Lory felt slightly relieved.

“Yes. Thank you for taking time. I’ll see you to…”

The president sat in his chair, shocked. He couldn’t move! His body felt so heavy he could hardly lift a finger. This was not a normal reaction.

In the sofa Kirra-san burst into a fit of giggles. “I told you before, president; I’ve already won.”

“You…! What have you done to me?”

“Nothing really,” the woman answered easily, the cruel glow having found its way back to her eyes. “All I did was set up a trap, and you walked so nicely into it.”

Lory fisted his hands, but it took up almost all his strength to do so and he slumped deeper into his chair. “What…?”

“What? This is how I kill people, president.” She gave him a mocking look. “Or did somebody forget to tell you about my occupation?”

L.M.E’s president cursed between gritted teeth. He really couldn’t move no matter how hard he tried. Damn, he couldn’t just die! Too many people were dependant on him. What would happen to L.M.E without him? Ren and Mogami-kun. Love-Me. Everything he had worked so hard for, all the people he cared for!

Kirra-san untangled her legs and stood in a fluid movement, teasingly walking around to stand behind the back of the chair the president occupied.

“This chair,” she started sweetly, lovingly stroking Lory’s cheek down to his chin, gently turning his face into the chair’s cushions. “When I arrived, I sprayed it with liquid, scentless drugs. But don’t worry; they won’t cause you any pain, unlike the poison drugs I gave Mogami Kyoko.”

“Mogami-kun… you… the poisoning?”

“You heard about that too? Man, you really do have good ears. Not that you can do anything about it anyway.”

Lory fought against the dizziness that overcame him. This wasn’t how he was supposed to end. Mogami-kun needed him! His son, Maria-chan, his staff, everybody! He wasn’t done yet!

Kirra-san’s strangely gentle hands wiped away a tear from his face before her fingers softly stroked over his hair.

“Even though the drugs don’t cause pain, it still hurts, doesn’t it? Being helpless and at somebody else’s mercy is the worst kind of torture.”

She spoke from experience. In the dizzy state he was in Lory couldn’t tell exactly how he knew that, but he did.

“You…” Damn! Now even his mouth felt heavy. He couldn’t form coherent words anymore.

“You’ll fall asleep soon, so I’ll tell you something more. Naum sent Saena a lot of letters, and she answered him, but sent her responses to Naum’s mother’s address. Grandmother burnt them all. The reason Naum committed suicide, was because he thought his lover never wrote back, not even to tell how much she hated him for what had happened to her sister.”

Lory couldn’t respond, hardly even with an inner reaction. He was so close now; the light from the windows was steadily growing dimmer. Warm lips kissed the crown of his head.

“Good night, loveable Lory Takarada.”

And so, L.M.E’s president closed his eyes to the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Lory. He's my favourite character. Please don't hate me for doing this to him because I hate myself enough for it!


	23. Time limit

It was a quarter to seven o’clock in the morning and Lory Takarada had yet to leave his bedroom. This was very unlike the president. Sebastian, Lory’s ever loyal assistant and butler, had already prepared today’s outfit, told the hired statists what to do and decorated the hallway according to the master’s wishes, like he did every day. Finding no president doing his everyday morning yoga 06.00 am was more shocking than any of his eccentric little everyday acts. That twenty-year-old body of his hadn’t come for free, and Lory was always extremely careful to treat it properly.

Sebastian, dressed in his favoured Egyptian robes, thought back to the day before. The master had said he was going to call for someone to come and told Sebastian to wait for a woman to arrive. Oddly enough nobody had tried to enter the house all night. Sometime during the night the butler had checked on his master and found him in his bed, putting all his trust in Sebastian as always. He still found it slightly out of Lory’s character, but wouldn’t say a word about it, at least not loud.

The second the clock struck seven, the butler silently went into his master’s room to wake him.

 

* * *

 

Kirill had been restless all night, trying to sort out all the buzzing thoughts in his head. Only when they had come back to Tokyo from their filming trip Kirill had realized it; Tokyo was noisy as hell with all the people living there. If he could hardly hear Mogami Kyoko’s voice when they stayed in the same area with only a few people, there was no way he’d be able to hear her in the capitol. Telling the rest of the band members they also realized the error of this fact; if Kirill couldn’t tell where Kyoko was, how to find her?

“No other way,” Ivy had stated quickly. “We must use sneakier methods.”

“We know where she’s staying,” Malin had told them. “Would you deem it safe to pay the landlords a visit, Ivy?”

“I’d rather not involve more people than necessary.”

“Ivy’s right,” Kirill had agreed. “We can’t involve any more people in this mess, but we can’t really contact her directly either. She doesn’t know us.”

“Not you,” Yuni had nodded. “But I’ve had my encounters with her. I can call her agency and ask for her schedule or for her to come out and see me.”

“Not good enough, fighter. For you, a big-name model to sniff out an upcoming actress will definitely attract attention.”

The conversation had pretty much stopped there. They hadn’t been able to figure out a solution right away, but that wasn’t the only reason for Kirill’s uneasiness. Among all the strong voices he had heard in Tokyo there had been one he liked to listen to. This voice had simply dulled down to a whisper before it silenced completely, and right in the silencing of that voice he had heard Kirra’s voice like a chiming laugh. She had done something and wanted him to know, or he would never have been able to hear her.

Rising early, finding no reason for trying to sleep anymore, Kirill irritably dressed and went down for breakfast.

In the hotel’s restaurant, which was only just about to open, he found Ivy with her hands around a steaming cup. Seems like she could find her way around the hotel on her own by now, or Malin had only helped her down here and went back to bed.

“Morning, Ivy,” he greeted and sat down beside her. “I hope you had more luck than I.”

“Perhaps,” she said as she searched out his hand, running her fingers over the back of his hand to ensure his identity before she gave the hand a light squeeze in greeting. “I have slept badly because of this.”

“I realize, boss. Me too.”

“That’s a good sign.”

Ivy sipped from her cup and sighed in slight content, but Kirill frowned at her.

“How can a sleepless night be a good sign?” he asked sourly.

“I was not talking about our sleeplessness. You said that you realized why I couldn’t sleep. Normally you apologize when your troubles disturb me.”

Kirill had the grace to blush and was happy Ivy couldn’t see it, but judging from her widened smile and the way she squeezed his hand, she probably knew anyway. Sometimes blind people are scary.

“So, what’s your plan?”

“None, I’m afraid. I wished to have a backup plan would Fuva not be able to solve anything at all.”

Kirill nodded. “I know, Ivy. My brain’s a mess. Even if I tell Fuva all I know about Mogami’s situation it doesn’t solve anything if we don’t know where she is or how to contact her.”

“In that case I had better luck.”

The man instantly looked up. “You know how to contact Mogami?”

“Not me. Fuva is a Japanese native and has been in the business for… long enough. What do you think about his manager? I forgot her name.”

“You didn’t forget her name,” Kirill smiled. “You never bothered to remember it. She seems capable to me.”

“Good. Then those two who knows the ins, outs and shortcuts in this business will be able to contact Mogami without our intervention.”

It took a few seconds, but Kirill’s eyes widened, slowly realizing the brilliance of the idea.

“Of course,” he breathed. “Mogami doesn’t know us, but she does know Fuva. Of course! Ivy…” words failed him for a moment. He could just smile. “Ivy!”

“Don’t start celebrating just yet, Kirill,” the blind woman warned coldly. “Even if we can talk Fuva into seeing your cousin it doesn’t automatically solve the main problem, does it?”

Kirill cleared his throat, cooling his excitement. That’s right, the main goal wasn’t just to find Mogami; it’s to put her mind at ease. There was no guarantee anyone would manage that at this point.

“I know you’re right, Ivy,” Kirill said. “But at least with this the problem at hand is solved. This is as far as we can go without attracting unwanted attention.”

“Don’t forget we have a scheduled concert the day after tomorrow,” Ivy said out of the blue, causing Kirill to laugh a little. Leave it to Big Boss Ivy to always know their work wouldn’t cut them any slack.

“Yes. Thank you, Ivy,” the man said, and he wasn’t referring to the information.

“You’re welcome.”

They sat in a comfortable silence for a few seconds, until Kirill could hear the people of Tokyo waking up. He was only about to raise his defences when a certain voice caught his attention.

Instead of putting up his mind-walls he let them fall completely, listening intently. Almost at the same time Kirra opened her mind, letting Kirill hear her amused laugher.

‘What did you do, my sister?’ the Russian man thought worriedly.

 

* * *

 

Sebastian opened the door to Lory Takarada’s room, finding him still in the same position on the bed and smoothly strode over to him.

“Master, please wake up now. It is almost time to start working.”

No response. Sebastian stood there taking in Lory’s face. He did have an abnormal colour today; pale yellow rather than olive. Had he caught an illness overnight? That’d be a first. The butler reached out and shook the president’s shoulder.

“Master, if you feel unwell, wake up anyway, please.”

Lory’s eyes snapped open and his whole body flinched, but almost immediately he groaned and held his head.

“Good morning, master. You are late.”

“Wh… where am I,” the president asked with a hoarse voice that sounded as if he was about to throw up.

“In your bed, master. It is just past seven o’clock and you still have not risen. Are you not feeling well?”

Not feeling well was a nice understatement. Lory’s head was throbbing like he had drunken it to bits the night before.

“I’m gonna be sick,” he wheezed.

Since the president was holding his head Sebastian figured he was dizzy, and in such a case it’s bad to move the person, so he turned on his heels and quickly fetched the first trashcan he found.

Lory retched in the trashcan, feeling disgusted of himself and grateful that the tension in his head eased a little.

Sebastian pulled out a hankie and handed it to his master to dry his mouth.

“I’ll call for some ice for your head, master.”

Lory only groaned an answer and the butler swiftly left with the trashcan, intending to get rid of its stinking contents as fast as possible.

When alone, the president tried to think, a task that would be a lot easier if the fog in his mind would just lift. What could have done this to him?

Sebastian returned with an icepack and gently placed it on Lory’s forehead. The big man welcomed the cool feeling and moved the bag to where the throbbing was worst; his left temple.

“Shall I cancel today’s appointments, master?” Sebastian politely asked.

“What are those?”

Being the perfectionist he naturally was and got paid for, Sebastian obediently stood straight. “This morning you must finish the preparations for the monthly report-in tomorrow, you have a meeting with the photographer Ishida-sensei about a trial photo shot before we try to contact Queen again. This appointment will be tricky to call off since Ishida-sensei seems very eager to make amends to Queen. You must also hurry to locate the drunk driving stuntman you couldn’t find yesterday. Other than that, only the usual paperwork.”

Lory groaned loudly. He could only comprehend about half of what Sebastian said.

“Yes, please call off the appointments,” he pleaded.

“As you wish. Should I call the doctor while I’m at it?”

The president tried to think. Why would Sebastian want to call a doctor? What could a doctor do?

“Why?” he asked when he realized his mind drew a blank.

“Why?” Sebastian repeated with surprise. “To check you up, maybe give you some medicine so that you can go back to work soon.”

Oh, so that’s what the doctor was for.

“How do you feel, master?” the butler asked gently, sincerely worried about the older man.

“Dizzy,” Lory admitted. “My mind’s all foggy. Can’t relax. Must have dreamt something unpleasant.”

The butler nodded. “I will send a maid with some water for you, master. I must call you in sick to the office.”

Lory just grunted in response and was left alone.

Just what had happened to him? Waking up with a splitting headache and the world spinning like a merry-go-round was not among the norms.

He tried to recall the day before. He had gone to work… why had he gone to work? He felt this miserable and he had gone to work? No, wait. Yesterday he hadn’t felt this awful. Right now he just couldn’t recall what fit felt like.

A woman walked in carrying a tray with a glass and a pitcher of water.

A woman?

“I hope you will feel better soon, Takarada-sama,” she said kindly. Her wedding ring had an emerald embedded in the metal, like an eye.

Lory just stared the ring, a fussy memory slowly surfacing in his mind and becoming clearer.

A woman with green eyes, a sense of helplessness and desperation. A soft voice.

“Takarada-sama?”

_"Good night, loveable Lory Takarada.”_

The poor maid was so startled she screamed when the president suddenly jumped out of his bed like a bullet from a pistol with a wild roar and a stream of curses. Lory himself realized the stupidity of this move only when the world started spinning ever faster and he couldn’t tell if he landed on the floor or the ceiling. Either way he just collapsed and believed he tumbled around the room. He felt sick again.

After about fifteen minutes Lory was back to his senses, or at least most of them. He was back on his bed with an ice-pack on his forehead and a damp, cool towel around his neck.

“Master?”

Sebastian stood beside the bed with a worried frown on his forehead that definitely shouldn’t be there. A butler wasn’t supposed to be worried about his master, but Sebastian was as much Lory’s best friend as his servant and assistant, maybe even more so, so he couldn’t hide his concern.

“What happened?”

“It would seem you got angry and tried to run for the door, but fainted mid-stride,” the butler explained slowly.

Once again Lory found his memory hazy at best. It irked him to no end, especially when his intuition told him that what he couldn’t remember was of outmost importance. He groaned in frustration.

“Rest for a while, master. I have already informed the offices and every head will make sure to take care of as much as possible in your absence.”

Lory had no choice but to obey. Good old Sebastian always knew what to do and Lory wholeheartedly trusted his judgement. There was just one little thing that irked his mind, something poking the back of his head.

“I thought I was dying,” he said slowly.

“That bad, master?” Sebastian inquired, now twice as worried as before. Lory Takarada never spoke and even less joked about death. Not a single time in his entire life.

“Yesterday,” Lory continued, almost hesitatingly, “a woman was here.”

This time Sebastian stayed quiet. The president’s face was tense, his eyes shut tight in concentration. The guest he had been waiting for last night had showed up? But the guest– this woman Sebastian’s master was talking about, had not come through the door. So how had she gotten in? The entire mansion was equipped with the latest security system. Only occasional insects like flies and mosquitoes somehow made it inside.

“I thought she killed me.”

The butler went stiff, his heart on the brink of stopping. He’d thoroughly check the security system and any possible ways in and out many times over once he deemed it safe to leave his master alone. Nobody hurts Lory Takarada and gets away with it.

“Maybe you had a dream, master,” Sebastian suggested, more in hopes that it really had been a dream than calming his master.

Lory was unaware of this though and only shook his head gently at the suggestion. Damn, it was hard to think. That poking in the back of his head only grew worse. Yesterday night a woman had been here and she had told him something really important. Or maybe she had only implied to something that Lory had interpreted it into something horrible.

There was a knock on the door, though Lory felt like it was from the inside of his skull. Sebastian went to open the door and there stood a nervous-looking maid.

“Forgive my intrusion, Sebastian-san, but we got a call by a person who said to urgently deliver this fax that just arrived straight to Takarada-sama.”

“Thank you, Kana-san. I will take care of it.”

The maid nodded, handed over the fax and left, in a hurry to get back to her friends to share the latest gossip.

Sebastian closed the door again, staring at the fax’s message with a perplexed expression. To him it looked a lot more like a prank fax than the threat he had actually expected.

“Master, this fax just arrived for you. Shall I read it for you?”

Lory, not following at first stared at his butler in wonder for a moment before it sank it. “Oh, yes, if you please.”

The butler looked down on the paper in his hands. “Life’s no fun without a good scare. BG Kirra.”

The president’s eyes were wide, unblinking. He thought he could hear a woman’s laugher from far away.

“A good scare?” he repeated slowly. Sebastian nodded affirmative.

For another few seconds neither man moved.

Sebastian jolted when Lory for the second time that day sprung out of his bed under a string of colourful curses.

 

* * *

 

People were keeping a close eye on Kyoko-chan now the last day of filming at Kioku. Friends stood in groups and sent suspicious glances at everybody else. There wasn’t much room for small talk today. Shiva took it as a good sign. The previous rumours that had tainted Kyoko-chan’s reputation had been brought into a new light, for better and worse, but for the moment nobody would think of trying to hurt Kyoko-chan, unless they wanted to become the hottest source of gossip as a suspect of murder.

Kyoko-chan had probably noticed the tense atmosphere but didn’t have much time to think much about it. Today was her day when they recorded all her scenes. Tomorrow morning they would shoot the last scene because they needed the sunrise.

“All right. Everybody stand by!” Director Sou yelled out and everybody moved into position in front of and behind the camera.

“Scene 94, and… action!”

 

_I remember this place. It used to be bright and warm and full of butterflies and laugher. Where have all of that gone to? When was this place ever this dark and cold? There are flowers here, I can see them, but for some reason I’m indifferent to them. Why? I love flowers. Why am I not feeling anything for them now?_

_“What has happened to me?”_

_Was that my voice? I can’t recall it ever sounding so shallow. Must make sure._

_“What has happened to me?”_

_It is my voice. My throat feels tight now._

_The old bench. I sat there with dad the other day. What had he said? There had been something in his voice._

_Regret._

_My dad had regrets._

_“Do you really… not regret I was born, father?”_

_“Hey, daddy! What’s this flower?”_

_Huh?_

_“What’s that honey? Oh, that’s a forget-me-not.”_

_Dad? Is that… me?_

_“Forget me not? Why do you call it that?”_

_“Because, sweetheart, long ago there was a man who was very ill, and there was a princess he held very dear. And so, before the man died, he visited the princess and gave her this flower with the words; forget me not. Then the man died, and the princess, who had never seen this little blue flower before, decided to name them Forget-Me-Not.”_

_I remember this. This story; it was dad’s favourite one. I remember picking the flower for dad saying;_

_“Forget me not, daddy.”_

_Laugher. Dad had laughed so wholeheartedly, accepted the flower and taken me into his arms, carrying me off._

_“Don’t worry, Aiko-chan. I will never forget you, my very own daughter. Because you are the proof of love between your mother and me.”_

_Dad? What did you say back then? What did you mean?_

_“The proof of… love?”_

_The flowers in front of me. Red and purple. But there it is, shyly hiding in the greenery. A small, seemingly insignificant light blue flower. It can’t compete to that many other flowers in beauty, but its meaning is so deep._

_“Forget-me-not.”_

_It’s so small, but more than one flower on the same stem, all in different light shades of sky-blue. Such a simple little flower._

_The proof of love._

_My knees give in. Lucky I stand right in front of a bench. My stomach is turning and I feel sick._

_“If I used to be the proof of love, what am I now?”_

 

“Cut. Really great you three. Let’s hurry and move to the next scene. Mikado, redo Mogami-chan’s make-up for scene 96.”

Though it was harder than it should to separate from Aiko’s feelings today, Kyoko had help to break free from them. The high tempo they worked in demanded everybody’s full concentration and Sunawa-san always stood prepared to physically pull Kyoko from the scene and to his trailer to fix her make-up and costume for every scene, which was good, because Kyoko couldn’t see clearly with her right eye. The left eye worked as usual the majority of time, and once in a while the sight of the right eye worked too. Her heart rate was still a little high, resulting in higher blood pressure and faster blood circulation, making Kyoko feel feverish.

The Black Goddess’s poison drugs were still in effect.

 

* * *

 

The new PV was cut and shown to _The Dead Saints_ and Fuwa Sho who had made a few inputs about the sound and Elexa had protested against a certain shot of her. _The Dead Saints_ had a concert two days away and had to prepare for that. Sho had to return to the studio to work on his own music for a future album, but Kirill had excused himself from his band and asked for a moment with Sho. Now they stood in a longue staring at each other.

“I beg your pardon?”

Kirill kept from sighing. He had been acquainted with the younger man in front of him for a few weeks now and there had been little problem with their communication. The few times Kirill just couldn’t find the right word or phrasing Elexa and Malin had been around to help most of the time. But right now Kirill knew it wasn’t the words Fuva had a trouble with due to the look of sheer mock disbelief clear to see on his face.

“I repeat; Mogami Kyoko need your help, straightaway.”

The bleached blond man’s face stayed the same for a long moment. “For what?” he said at last, and this time Kirill couldn’t stop the sigh escaping him.

“You are her friend, no? Mogami need a friend now.”

Fuva made a face. “In case you don’t know, Kyoko’s never needed my help.”

“Are you sure?” Kirill asked with a low voice. “In case you don’t know, Fuva, the human who has never needed help is not born yet. You are Mogami’s friend and she need you now.”

Sho didn’t like this. Not in the least. He; help Kyoko? How did Kilill-san expect him to do that? They were friends back in Kyoto, and that friendship was long gone and lost. What they had done for each other and together didn’t matter anymore.

“Is this about Kyoko’s mom?” he asked quietly.

“I don’t know, but she is involved no doubt,” Kilill-san answered truthfully.

Sho’s stomach sank. Now he definitely didn’t want to do anything. He never wanted to see Kyoko’s crying face because that was the one thing he couldn’t do anything about. Making her angry he was an expert at, but consoling, no. Not Kyoko. Any other girl but Kyoko.

“You worry now,” Kilill-san’s voice interrupted Sho’s thoughts.

“What do you mean? I’m not worried. That girl can take care of herself…”

“Then tell me,” Kilill-san interrupted him, “how is the relationship between Mogami and her mother?”

This time Sho flinched and he gave the Russian man a startled look. “What?”

“You reacted strong when I told you Polnoch Sana be Mogami’s mother,” the taller man reminded. “Their relationship is not good?”

Sho made a face and turned away. So Kilill-san had guessed this much, huh? Well, the relationship between Kyoko and her mother wasn’t really a secret anyway.

He glanced back and was met by a pair of stubborn blue eyes. Oh well. Whatever.

“Kyoko was always crying because of her mother. That woman had really high expectations and Kyoko…” he shrugged “I don’t know. Even though her grades in school were really good, always in the top ten, it was still not good enough. No matter what she did it wasn’t good enough.”

“And what did you do to help her?”

That was a question Sho would rather leave unanswered, but Kilill-san’s blue eyes were really pushing him. The Russian man wouldn’t let him leave without answering. Yet this was too personal and a part of Sho’s heart that was better sealed away and never touched again.

“Why are you so curious anyway?! It’s not like you have anything to do with her!”

“I do have. Mogami Kyoko is my cousin.”

Sho’s eyes settled on the blue of Kirill’s, slowly growing wider as the information sank in.

“I have no solid proof,” Kirill continued before Fuva found his voice again. “To tell the truth; I come to Japan searching for my uncle’s fiancée; Mogami Sana. I have not met her yet, but I have found Mogami Kyoko, Mogami Sana’s daughter. Her age is right and she have uncle’s eyes.”

Sho still had troubles finding his voice, just as much as he had to understand the meaning of how this man in front of him; a man born and raised in Russia on his first visit to Japan ever, was in any way related to Kyoko.

“Co…co… cousin?”

“Yes,” Kilill-san confirmed.

“Kyoko?”

“Yes.”

He tried, because he knew, but his mind still drew a blank. “How? Kyoko’s mom?”

The blond man in front of him smiled slightly. “No, Fuva. Mogami Sana had a daughter with my uncle Naum. They never married though.”

Sho was not used to feel like this; like his brain had short circuited, and he hated his next outburst. “Kyoko’s a bastard???”

“That’s the first thing you understand?”

At the sound of Kilill-san’s disapproving voice Sho somewhat sobered. “No… I mean… I’ve known that girl for all my life and never heard a word about Kyoko’s… Kyoko’s dad’s your uncle?”

Kirill scratched his head. This wasn’t going as smoothly as he’d hoped. When it was about Mogami Kyoko Fuva seemed to always lose his cool. On the other hand, Fuva had grown up with Mogami and thought he knew everything about her, to suddenly have him, a foreigner talk about things about his friend he’d never known must be quite unsettling. But Kirill had really thought Fuva would listen to him and be willing to aid him, or more precisely Mogami. Why was he being so difficult?

Kirill decided to start from the beginning again. “My uncle is dead and I think he was never aware he have a daughter. Now, for some reason or other, Mogami is dying. I don’t know why, but I hear her voice for a long time, now I can’t hear her.”

It was still a little too much information for Sho to take in, but he did react to one word Kilill-san used.

“Dying?”

Kilill-san blinked at him. “Have you forgotten? Mogami was poisoned in Kioku.”

He hadn’t forgotten. It still lay as a cold lump in his stomach and a tight squeeze around his heart. He could ignore and suppress it all he wanted, but it was still there. The thought of somebody wanting Kyoko dead was way too impossible for him though.

“We could leave Kioku because the danger had passed, right?” Sho said and looked up at the older man. “They never found anything and said Kyoko was fine.”

Those damn blue eyes. Why did they have to penetrate him like drills? Kilill-san was pulling at every piece of him that hurt and that he always had worked so hard to hide.

“Mogami is not fine,” Kilill-san spoke slowly. “Her voice was much strong for a long time, but in Kioku her voice suddenly went quiet, and when we leave I still not hear Mogami’s strong voice.”

Sho growled. “So what do you want me to do, eh? Play the hero and save her from a murderer?”

“No,” Kilill-san said, and couldn’t quite keep the humour from his voice. “I don’t know what she need except help. We figure you are her friend and can talk to her. My band would… how you say it? Much attention to us?”

Since Sho couldn’t really understand what the taller tried to say he just shook his head.

“Ah, I would try help Mogami myself,” Kilill-san exclaimed with a frustrated whine. “But Mogami don’t know me and I don’t know her enough to be help to her. Mogami know you, Fuva, so you must help her, or she really be dying.”

The cold lump in Sho’s stomach grew heavier and a lot colder. Save Kyoko from dying? What the hell?

“You don’t happen to know who is trying to kill Kyoko, do you?”

It was a childish question, Sho knew, but he figured it would give him at least a few more seconds of hesitation. At least that had been the intention, but when the silence stretched out longer than it should without Kilill-san answering, Sho looked back into a face that hesitated too. Kilill-san was biting his lip, furrowing his brows and his eyes weren’t quite as piercing. Rather they seemed to search Sho’s face, trying to decide if it was safe to talk or not.

“You know,” Sho whispered.

“I think so.”

 

* * *

 

She didn’t pick up her phone. After his third try Sho lost his patience and stormed away to find Shoko. She would have the number to Kyoko’s department at L.M.E and if she didn’t have it Sho would just ask anybody he met until he found it. He would even ditch his work until he got a hold of Kyoko, and when he did he would chew her out until there was nothing left.

“Shoko-san!”

His manager jumped pretty high. If Sho hadn’t felt so pressured he might have found her startled expression funny.

“Sh-Sho? What…?”

“The number to Kyoko’s department. I need it now.”

“Now? Kyoko-chan? But Sho, we…”

He forcefully grabbed her shoulders and shook her. “I don’t care! That bitch will have a piece of my mind if it kills me!”

Shoko was shocked to say at least, mostly because Sho gripped her shoulders so hard it hurt. He’d never hurt anybody before (except Kyoko-chan that one time but that was explainable) and he wasn’t the type to grab people.

The only thing that didn’t surprise her was that it was about Kyoko-chan. In this world there was nobody else could rile Fuwa Sho like this.

“I have it. The number. You want to call them yourself?”

 

* * *

 

Sawara Takenori had picked up quite a few strange calls during his career, some during his private life too. People who’d gotten lost and dialled the wrong number, prank calls on his private phone, glory seekers trying to butt-lick their way into the business. The list was long. The call he got this noon though outclassed all the other strange ones he’d received, not because of the reason of the call, but who was calling.

It started normally enough, like it usually did; He sat at his desk going through more reports than normal due to the president calling in sick this morning. That alone should have prepared him for a day full of strangeness. In fact, he was expecting something unexpected, like a typhoon blowing through the office, magnitude 6-7 earthquakes, something involving Kyoko-chan on a rampage.

When the phone rang (for the twentieth or so time that day) it might have been intuition that said it was about Kyoko-chan.

“L.M.E, talent section office, Sawara Takenori speaking.”

“Where is Kyoko?”

Intuition on the spot, the voice was familiar too even though Sawara couldn’t place it right away. The only strangeness this far was that the speaker on the other line growled with heated urgency.

“Mogami Kyoko per chance?” Sawara spoke calmly. “I’m afraid she’s out on a filming trip to the south. Shall I pass on a message?”

“Pass on _this_ message, old man! Tell that bitch from Fuwa Sho and she better meet up with me the moment she comes back to Tokyo!” _Click_.

Sawara sat still with a blank face long enough for his co-workers to be worried and ask what was wrong. Sawara found he really couldn’t answer that.

 

* * *

 

“Thanks Shoko-san. Let’s get back to work.”

The female manager missed her cell phone being thrown for her to catch. Funnily enough it managed to bounce off her body and into her bag (how often does that happen?) Shoko though was too occupied gawking at her charge with her chin on the floor. What he’d just done was too out of character for even Kyoko-chan to evoke. But it had been about Kyoko-chan? What could possibly have happened?

 

* * *

 

Lory Takarada lay with an ice-pack pressed against his forehead in the same couch as Kirra-san had occupied the night before, the only piece of furniture he didn’t find suspicious. The poor armchair he had been seated in last night was hopefully burning somewhere. Sebastian was still recovering from the shock from when Lory had ordered its destruction.

Though Lory felt a lot better now, had walked around a bit and even managed some paperwork. Except for the faint-attack he’d had when he blew up at seeing the chair that was the cause of his hurting head Lory’s condition was steady, but his memory was hazy still. It annoyed him to no end. Kirra-san had told him a number of important things and he couldn’t recall more than fragments of what she’d said.

He had to concentrate. He had to choose one of the things Kirra-san had said and repeat it in his mind until the words were clear. So what was the most important question he’d asked last night? Or rather, what had he wanted to ask her?

Lory rubbed his temple as his headache tried to grow worse.

Mogami-kun. She was the main character; the victim in this case. Lory was very aware of that much. He had wanted to ask Kirra-san about Mogami-kun’s father in order to… realize what? Lory concentrated further. He knew he was too stuck on last night. The questions he had wanted to ask he had thought about during the day, before he found Kirra-san in his home. Those memories were clearer.

That’s right! Mogami-dono, Mogami-kun’s mother, she was the catalyst.

Lory decided to sit up and leaned his head back against the back of the couch, anything to help him think.

Sebastian stood in a corner watching over his master. When Lory sat up he had wanted to go to him and ask if he needed anything, but Lory would know that himself. Still, that furrowed brow indicated deep concentration, or pain. It wasn’t certain if Lory was thinking about his pain or of Mogami-sama.

The butler turned his eyes away from his master. Mogami-sama. Of course Lory had told him of the poisoning, and Sebastian too could admit that he felt slightly worried about her. He normally didn’t interact with his master’s subordinates nor feel a lot for them, except for the heads of the company he had to have contact with. Mogami-sama was a special case, Lory’s favourite piece of work. Well, all of the Love-Me members were special cases for Lory, with their inability to feel the world’s most important emotion; Love. Now with everything happening around Mogami-sama though Lory was bound to have the girl in at least half of his thoughts.

“Sebastian.”

The butler automatically strode over to his master. “Yes?”

“I can’t piece it together.”

The master had said a lot of stranger things in his life, so Sebastian took it in stride. “How can I help you, master?”

Lory thought for a while. He had fragments of a memory he knew should fit together, but the words felt surreal.

“Kirra-san said something about love,” the president started, holding the ice-pack over one eye rather than the forehead. “She indicated Mogami-dono and Mogami-kun’s relationship was the same…”

“The same as what, master?” Sebastian pressed gently.

Lory groaned. “I don’t know.”

It was vexing, and it felt like there was a time limit. He had to realize what Kirra-san had exposed and then act quickly. It was a feeling in his gut, like intuition. The poisoning. Mogami-kun was in danger!

“Please stay calm, master. Stress will dull your thoughts.”

Sebastian’s calm voice. God bless him. Lory inhaled deeply and felt his body relax slightly when he exhaled. He didn’t have to stress. The time limit wasn’t five minutes. Somehow he would figure this out.

 

* * *

 

Evening. If Kyoko were to say she felt proud and satisfied about the day, she’d lie. She could hardly remember half of the scenes and she felt exhausted. Her right eye seemed to go blind as the darkness closed in on the day.

“Splendid work today, Mogami-chan,” Director Sou praised loudly, causing Kyoko to jump slightly. “I was worried we wouldn’t make it. Thank you for your hard work.”

“Yes. Thank you, director,” Kyoko smiled tiredly and hopefully straight at the man. In fact, she hoped it was him standing before her, because her left eye decided to blur. How did blind people make it through their lives?

“Please don’t thank me, Mogami-chan. I know, let me help you remove your make-up and…”

Kyoko’s anger detector suddenly sparked, making her jump from surprise.

“Leave Kyoko-chan alone, director.”

“Huh?”

That was Shiva-san’s voice. Shiva-san was angry. Really, positively, unhealthily pissed.

“Can’t you see Kyoko-chan is tired? Let her rest before you load her.”

Kyoko was surprised. Shiva-san sounded very hard. Well, it was true she didn’t click well with director Sou, but this was the first time the woman told the director off. Kyoko wished she could see so that she could tell what was happening. All she knew now was that the director was angry too.

It sounded like the director growled. “I suppose you’re right, Shiva-san. I only wanted to prepare Mogami-san about the time limit. She must perform as perfect takes tomorrow as she did today because our budget can’t cover payment for an extension of our stay here. And once we come back to Tokyo she has two days to rest before…”

“Later, director,” Shiva-san cut the man off and her soft hand took a firm grasp of Kyoko’s arm. “I will see so that Kyoko-chan gets some food and rest now. Good evening, director.”

Kyoko’s anger detector didn’t want to leave. It danced joyously with the sparks coming from director Sou. Kyoko herself though was happy for Shiva-san’s guidance back to the cottage. Even though her left eye was starting to focus normally again, being half blind was troublesome.

Besides, she didn’t want to hear what the director had been about to say. She already knew.

“I already removed the make-up,” Kyoko said feebly, confused that the director had offered to help removing it when it was already cleaned away.

“Don’t mind him, Kyoko-chan,” Shiva-san said, her voice as safe and steady as her hand. “That old fool is just starting to get confused due to the stress.”

“Aha…”

“How do you feel?”

Kyoko smiled slightly. She could hardly hide it. “Exhausted.”

They arrived to the cottage and Shiva-san took out a lunchbox the staff had fixed for Kyoko earlier. “Here Kyoko-chan. Eat something and then go to bed.”

“Yes. Thank you.”

Shiva-san joined her. She’d probably already eaten, but she took out a book and sat in an armchair, quiet but present. Kyoko was a bit surprised that she felt moved by the older woman’s consideration.

“It’s almost time, huh?” Kyoko started quietly. She had tried to ignore it for a long time, ever since she read it in the script.

“Time for what?”

“Aiko’s suicide.”

“So it would seem,” Shiva-san said with a sigh. “Are you worried?”

“A little bit.”

Shiva-san closed her book. “Kyoko-chan, look at me.”

She did. Shiva-san had really beautiful brown eyes. Kyoko hadn’t really noticed before. She hadn’t noticed a lot of things ever since her mother arrived. How stupid of her.

“Listen carefully, Kyoko-chan. No matter who is after you or if it was a mistake, the director will have to take extra safety measures to ensure your safety. I will be there too. Trust me; I’ll make sure nothing happens to you.”

She said so, but Kyoko didn’t believe her.


	24. Between Kyoko and Sho

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanae doesn't understand. Sho and Kyoko finally meet.

Tokyo. The great modern city full of history and people. A busy place, never fully asleep and never completely silent. In this city, full to the brim, there was a certain building that at this exact moment held two people in the same room facing each other from across a desk full of paperwork and some small, personal belongings. Normally those two, a middle aged man and a teenage girl, weren’t a bad match. If there were bad feelings between them it was always one-sided. Like it was now, as the man had sunk deep into his chair and held up his arms as protection against a laisurely swirling army of ice-cold evil spirits of hatred emerged from the girl on the other side of the desk.

“Come again,” Kyoko ordered, because she was certain she must have heard wrong. She had to have heard wrong. Or maybe Sawara-san had used the wrong name.

“I… got a call… from someone who said to pass this message… to you; Fuwa Sho wants to see you.”

Sawara Takenogi had been nervous in Kyoko’s presence before for a lot of reasons, but when he saw Kyoko-chan’s tired eyes suddenly widen and her face tense after the first time he delivered the message, he felt like he should have stayed in bed this morning. Kyoko-chan was under a lot of stress lately, trying to hold on to her work as long as possible without causing delays, because soon it would be over, maybe for good. She didn’t take the message very well.

Actually, “not taking it well” was a rather cute way of putting it. Sawara wished he had thought of becoming a Shinto exorcist priest in his youth, if only to be able to repel Kyoko-chan’s army of dancing evil spirits.

Kyoko herself, she was outraged and loved the feeling. She had come back to Tokyo just last night feeling drained, of energy, of emotions and something else very important she rather not even think of.

“Why would one of Japan’s most popular singers want to contact me, a soon-to-be dropout? Is it about work? Or maybe it was a prank call?” she asked sweetly, or maybe she growled while forcing her face to smile. Either way she looked even more devilish in Sawara’s eyes.

“I… I thought so too, so I called his manager…”

“And?” Kyoko drawled out the word, like a foreboding warning.

“She confirmed it.”

It was like a small bomb exploded inside Kyoko, or like a cage broke and a hundred more evil Kyoko spirits flew out of her body and chilled the room to freezing degrees.

“And what does he _want_?” Kyoko asked again.

The desk between him and the girl felt like a very fragile protection as it started cracking under the pressure of all the evilness. “I do-do-don’t know!” Sawara yelled, hoping the girl would leave it at that.

Strangely, and thankfully enough, she did. After long, painful and cold seconds of scrutinizing his face clean from lies.

“I see,” was all she said, the growl still evident in her voice, and she turned and left.

Sawara breathed out, slumping heavily in his chair and rubbing his arms, hoping to get some warmth back into his system. That Kyoko. He’d never be able to figure her out. Why so obviously angry that Fuwa Sho wanted to see her again? Had something bad happened between them that Sawara didn’t know about?

Rather, did he even want to know?

 

* * *

 

“Mogami is back,” Kirill announced after almost dropping Elexa due to violent shivers. “And she’s angry.”

“Oh,” Malin said blinking with surprise. “If you can hear her, does that mean she’s in this same building or that she’s fine?” she asked with a quirked eyebrow.

“Neither, I think,” the tall man said and let Elexa down, just to make sure he wouldn’t drop her. “I can only tell what she feels. But…”

“If she’s angry it’s not good,” Yuni said with a low voice. “Even if she can actually feel strongly enough for you to hear her, Kirill, anger is the worst thing she could choose to feel.”

“I know that Yuni,” the blond man nodded solemnly. “I’ll tell Fuva Mogami is back in Tokyo when I see him next. Okay Ivy?”

“That better be before the concert tonight. Some stress would do the brat good.”

All the band members smirked, except for Yuni who rolled her eyes. So typical Ivy to always care first-hand about work.

Elexa tightly held onto Kirill’s hand as they walked on. She could feel the slight vibrations in the man’s hand from time to time. The young girl had gotten used to the tremors in her adoptive father’s body, but they had never been quite like now. Though she was only twelve years old, Elexa had already experienced feelings she was too young for, forcing her to mentally grow up faster than she liked. The other band members gave her every chance they could to let her be a child, and right now she felt like a child, because she wanted to cry.

“Elexa?”

Kirill’s gentle eyes looked down on her and she lifted her arms in a silent request.

“Not right now, love. I don’t want to drop you.”

So she let her arms fall. Kirill could hear her voice though, so he sat on his heels in front of her, smiling in that way that made Elexa believe everything would be okay. All she had to do was talk to him.

“Why is anger bad?” she asked quietly.

Kirill smiled, but it was a sad smile. “Because anger consumes every other feeling, and makes you lose control, so that you more often than not end up saying things you normally wouldn’t say, and only in order to hurt someone else.”

 

* * *

 

Hoshisawa Kyoko’s grin was haughty when she walked forward in the middle of the corridors towards her next appointment, feeling like she owed the world. Ever since she made acquaintance with that foolish Kyouko-chan, everything had been going her way. Any fame Kyouko-chan had had Hoshisawa Kyoko was slowly drawing onto herself, while all and any shit and screw-up in turn were put on Kyouko-chan. Hoshisawa could laugh out loud. The luck! And the best thing was that that idiot of a girl didn’t suspect a thing. Who would anyway? Who would believe a slut’s crying claim of innocence?

Answer; nobody.

The girl, only a teenager but an actress since childhood and having worked hard all her life to step up from the ungrateful work as a simple statist, stopped in front of a mirror in the hall and corrected her hair and carefully chosen outfit; high heels to look taller, fine silk stockings, a knee-length tight-fitting black skirt and a marine-blue blazer to look more classy and past her age. There was this role in a new mystery drama that she would definitely have, no matter what. Why? Because the director was going to have Tsuruga Ren in this drama. Not as the lead, but as a support character, and Hoshisawa Kyoko had her eyes locked on the role as his secret girlfriend. It was a role written solely for her. Hoshisawa knew it.

It hadn’t escaped her; the fact that Tsuruga Ren seemed to have a soft spot for Kyouko-chan. Well, even better. Everything Kyouko-chan had was meant for Kyoko, that’s just the way it was. If Tsuruga Ren had a soft spot for Kyouko-chan, then surely destiny wanted her, Hoshisawa Kyoko, to be his lover.

“Sorry, Kyouko-chan. I’m just obviously the better choice.”

She sighed in content, continuing on her path towards a bright and shiny future.

 

* * *

 

Mogami Kyoko had tried with all her might to hold on to the anger pulsing through her system, but no matter how much she struggled, thought about things that had angered her for so long, it all slipped away from her into a numb void of emptiness. Because Fuwa Sho was only the first. The first realization, the first warning, and today Kyoko couldn’t, wouldn’t bring herself to count the betrayals.

Why had she been so set on having revenge? Just look where it had taken her; standing alone in a cold world and knowing why. Kyoko couldn’t help but wonder how much happier she would have been without knowing any of it. Not knowing how deep her mother’s disapproval of her was, never realizing how empty she’d always been.

Never having to figure out that Corn was a lie.

Corn. The pain that pulsated through her like fire at the thought of only his name was so intense Kyoko felt like retching. She probably would if deep-rooted, iron-hard discipline hadn’t stopped her.

Why? Why Corn? Why him out of everyone? The brightest shining star in her memory had cruelly turned out to be an anglerfish waiting to swallow her.

Kyoko quickly shook her head and forced her mind away from that line of thought.

Shotaro. Good enough. Why would he want to see her now? When had they seen each other last? Oh, yeah; vain day.

The young actress was swift to sweep the memory of _that_ day out of her mind too before she opened the door to Love-Me’s changing room.

Kyoko stiffened. She had been so deep in thought she had completely forgotten.

“Mo…”

_“Why don’t you just die?!”_

Oh, that’s right. “Kotonami-san.”

It had been only days since their last encounter, but it felt like weeks for Kyoko. The words her friend… The words Kotonami-san had spoken were still a twisting knife in her already torn heart.

Kanae stood stiff. It had been long days since that… and she had regretted it every second, so much so that she’d slept restlessly and even had nightmares. As a way to protect herself from the regret and the shame she felt she had hidden in the everyday characters she’d created for herself. It had helped her make it through the days.

“I…”

Kanae flinched at Kyoko’s voice, barely a whisper. Was this it? Was this the end of their friendship? But she hadn’t apologized yet! She hadn’t even had time to open her mouth! Couldn’t she at least have the chance to say…

“I quit.”

…what?

“As soon as I’ve finished my work here, I’m going back to Kyoto.”

What?

“I have one day of work left for _Box ‘R’_ and then the finishing scenes for the movie.”

What?!

Kyoko smiled, politely, like an apology, and bowed deep. “Thank you for to being my friend, M… Kotonami-san.”

“Hold on a minute!”

Kyoko looked up, surprised by the loud, outraged sound of Moko-san’s voice. The dark-haired girl looked positively flustered.

“Moko…?”

“What do you mean ‘quit’?!” the taller girl yelled. “Just because I said that, you quit? Wa- wha- whe- wh- ho-!” Kanae felt her head spin like her brain was on a rollercoaster ride. She’d also just figured that trying to ask all the questions popping up in her head at the same time was impossible. “How can you be so stupid!?”

The girl in front of her cringed, and only then did Kanae realize what she’d just said. She wanted to slap herself now. For all these days she’d been working out ways to apologize and make things right again, she’d figured out a way to act to make Kyoko happy, even gone looking for a present, though she’d panicked when trying to find one and dropped the idea.

“It’s not you.”

Kanae blinked, still feeling shocked and overwhelmed by feelings she couldn’t sort out on her own. Somehow Kyoko’s words managed to hurt too. “What?”

Kyoko laughed a quiet, nervous laugh and pulled a lock of hair in behind the ear before scratching behind the earlobe. “It has nothing to do with you… Kotonami-san. My mother doesn’t approve that I work here, so I’m going home as soon as I’ve finished all my work.”

In between cringing inwardly at finally noticing the loss of the affectionate nickname, feeling like Kyoko was redrawing a line she had erased a year ago and trying to remember her rehearsed apologies, Kanae heard what Kyoko said.

“Your mother?”

“Yes.”

“She doesn’t like this line of work?”

“Um…” The girl pulled at her earlobe. “It’s more like she doesn’t like _me_ working as an actress.”

“You’re quitting because of that?”

“Y… yes.”

A new feeling arose in Kanae’s being, and this one she was familiar with. “So what if your mommy doesn’t like it!” she screamed furiously. “Tell her to fuck the hell… I mean why should you listen to her? It’s your life and she’s got nothing to do with it! Who’s got the right to tell you what to do anyway?”

The return of Devil-face Moko-san. Kyoko was now backed into the door as Kanae had stomped forward to scream in her face. That face could almost compete to Tsuruga-san when pissed. Almost.

“M… mother,” Kyoko answered, trying to quell the quiver in her voice. “A parent or legal guardian’s approval is obligatory for underage talents to be here at all, and I never had.”

Kanae slowly sank back as a thought made its way into her consciousness; Kyoko had never said a word about any family before. “Why your mom? You could just ask someone else.”

The younger girl lowered her gaze. “There is no one else.”

Kanae hesitated. She herself had both her parents and three older siblings to approve her work. She’d never thought Kyoko didn’t have them. Well, she’d figured the girl was the only child due to the lack of mentions of a brother or sister when she told her about her relationship with Fuwa Sho. Not that Kanae ever spoke about her family.

“What about other relatives? Uncles or aunts…?”

This time Kyoko shook her head negative, and Kanae fell back further.

“No one?”

“No.”

Kyoko hesitated, wondering if she should say something about the Captain of Kioku who had apparently known her father, but decided against it. The Captain hadn’t really said anything anyway.

Kanae couldn’t tell her feelings apart anymore. How many times had she wished for her family to disappear? How often had she hated all of them? She worked hard to stay away from them, her older sister especially, and had made sure her address would never become public just so that she’d stay clear of her siblings, nieces and nephews. Not having them sounded like a dream come true to Kanae.

“But can’t you just pursue her?” she asked, because in the end she couldn’t understand the main problem.

Kyoko felt like something ripped away a piece of her heart and ate it, chewed it to shreds and spat it out on the ground. The one who stood before her was suddenly a stranger she’d never seen before.

“What do you know?”

The taller girl stepped back. Kyoko’s eyes. Kanae felt she’d rather face the devil if she had a choice.

“What do you think you know? Moko-san, your family loves you so much. My mother never cared. The president gave me a special permission because I didn’t know how to contact my mother.” Kyoko looked up to fully face the taller girl backing away from her. “I’m not like you! I can’t ask somebody else or persuade mother. I don’t have anyone at all!”

She bit her tongue, holding back tears. She couldn’t stay here. Words she definitely didn’t want to say was almost slipping out, so Kyoko turned and left, forgetting why she’d been going to the dressing room.

Kanae stood frozen. No one? Kyoko didn’t have _anyone_? That couldn’t be true. Kyoko seemed to have friends everywhere now, or were they only acquaintances? Those people she lived with, or were they landlords only? Tsuruga Ren?

She swallowed bile and felt how her eyes welled up. What kind of best-friends situation was this? Why had it turned out like this? Just a slip of tongue, and now their relationship suddenly lay in pieces. Should it really be this easy to break up with a best friend? Kanae didn’t know, because nobody had taught her about friendship, and there was a cold numbness where her heart was supposed to be.

 

* * *

 

Lory Takarada was back on his feet, but had yet to return to himself. He wore a simpler outfit than normal today. If you could call his brightly coloured Hawaiian tourist outfit simple. Though it was a clear sign he longed for sunshine and summer heat. And if the outfit didn’t convince you, the heaters and summer-dressed, tanned people carrying volleyballs and a stereo loudly playing _Bonny M_ would do the job.

Yes, Lory Takarada certainly longed for a ray of sunlight through the clouds that had invaded his mind ever since Kirra’s visit. It didn’t help at all that he had a load of work to catch up with from the day before when he’d stayed at home. He knew he had made a few mental notes that he’d forgotten too. Important things. Damn that Kirra! It was like she’d opened his skull, stolen a part of his brain and mixed up everything she left behind. Lory had always been perfectly clear in his head. To suddenly not be at a hundred per cent mind alert was almost like an affront.

But from the start Lory had been an actor too, so he could quite easily hide his angered frustration under a face of enjoyment as he lay beside a heater reading a manuscript two lines at the same time to catch up. He wholeheartedly devoted himself to finish his paperwork before lunch… scratch that, he needed to be superman plus one to manage that, before evening, and two rounds of beach ball in his office. All to have as much time as possible to fully concentrate on what Kirra-san had said about Mogami-kun, her relationship with her mother, and all the other important facts she’d served him and he just couldn’t remember.

It didn’t help in the least that he still felt like there was a time limit, and that time was swiftly flowing away.

 

* * *

 

It wasn’t until the back tire suddenly burst with a loud bang and she lost control of the bike, both it and she ending up scrapping against the ground that Kyoko regained some of her senses.

What was she doing? Where was she? Near the park it seemed. What time was it? The sky was darkening.

“Hey, girl. Are you alright? Are you hurt?”

It was a sweet old lady and a woman who looked like she was the old woman’s daughter. It hurt to look at their similar faces. It hurt to smile at them.

“Yes, I’m sorry. I was surprised.”

“Can you stand?” the younger of the woman asked and held out a hand. Kyoko took it and got up on shaky legs.

“Do you need help to get home?” the old lady asked with genuine concern.

Kyoko thought fast, not completely consciously aware of where her thoughts took her. “No, I’m sorry. It has been a stressful day and I tried to hurry home to catch a show. Too bad. I hope mother will record it for me.”

“I see,” the sweet old lady said, patting Kyoko’s hand as the other woman picked up the bike.

“Seems like both the tire and the tube burst.”

“Oh, that’s not good,” Kyoko said, taking a look at it herself. “I’ll have to ask mother if she knows someone who can fix it for me.”

“Should we follow you home? It’s not safe for a girl to be out alone, not even this early in the evening.”

“Ah, please don’t worry about me. I have my cell phone and pepper spray and a secret weapon in my bag.” She pulled out the bottle of pepper spray Shiva-san for some reason had given her after filming in Abiko.

“That’s good then,” the pair said, smiling a little. They looked so much alike, and like such good friends.

“Please take care on your way home,” the sweet old lady said and bowed.

Kyoko immediately bowed back. “Thank you. Please be safe.”

“Such a polite young girl.”

The actress stayed still for a moment, looking sadly at the broken tire of her bike. She had no choice but to walk home now… No, walk back to Daruma-Ya. It was only a place she stayed at for now. “Home” was in Kyoto.

She started walking, feeling completely numb inside. Her heart beating on auto-pilot and her brain blank. But what had she done? Moko-san. What had she said to Moko-san?

_“I’m not like you!”_

She had to go back! She had to apologize immediately!

_“Shut up! Why don’t you just die?!”_

Kyoko stopped again. That’s right. She had already lost Moko-san.

 

* * *

 

It was almost noon when Sho awoke the next day. It felt like the perfect day to stay put in bed. Foreboding was not a feeling he was familiar with but it described his feelings quite well at the moment. Ever since last night.

_“Mogami Kyoko is back in Tokyo, and she’s not joyful, so beware.”_

Kilill-san had just grabbed his shoulder and mumbled those words in Sho’s ear, as if he cared about how Kyoko felt. He didn’t. That girl could be angry or whatever as much as she liked, Sho was going to give her a large piece of mind as soon as he saw her. And just because Kilill-san had said that, Sho had slept lightly and could hardly remember the concert last night, other than the difference between his and _The dead Saints’_ audience. Really, Kilill and Malin mostly had made a backup choir of the crowd for the refrains. Sho was definitely going to make a song with a chorus like that. It had to be easy enough for his fans to learn…

“Sho. Time to get up.”

Shoko-san. As much as Sho loved and appreciated her, he really wished she wasn’t there sometimes. Especially lately. Because of Kyoko.

“Sho. Raise and shine. You’ve got six interviews today about the performance last night and the first starts in two hours.”

He grunted to let the manager know he had heard, and she thankfully left. She’d be back in a few minutes though and before then Sho had to at least sit on the edge of the bed if he didn’t want the covers pulled off him.

The pop star forced his reluctant body to move, stretching and letting one warm foot peek out from the covers. It hurried back into the warmth of the bed sheets. Only a minute before Shoko returned.

Sho groaned and sat, blanket over his shoulder, and rubbed his face. He was so tired. That damn Kyoko was taking up way too much of his time. Time that should be spent on himself and his own awesomeness. He should be thinking about his career, his next step to the very top, and the way past Tsuruga Ren. So what was he doing? Spending precious time thinking about a worthless girl!

“Sho? Are you up… yet?” Shoko’s face was freshly clean and slightly red due to the hot water from the shower. She paled to white under the murderous look of her charge.

“Cancel the interviews. I’m going to settle things with that stupid girl once and for all!”

The teenager passed her and Shoko stood speechless. It was starting to become a habit.

“Girl? What girl? Kyoko-chan?”

 

* * *

 

It was their last day filming _Box R’_ and everybody was working earnestly. For the actors, actresses, make-up artists, statists, dress managers and stage-designers, this was the end of a project where all that remained was the excitement of getting to see the finished work.

The director still had half of the work left to look forward to. Everything was actually going so smoothly the director started to get suspicious. Things never went this well without a touch of bad luck following close behind it.

He would never have imagined how that bad luck would look like.

Kyoko had ceased to be. Now she was Kitagawa Natsu, proud and elegant, dressed for graduation. She didn’t have a lot to do in the scenes though, because everyone had left her. Only Kaori remained. Natsu’s only task was to have a little _chat_ with Marumi-chan. After that scene it was time for the one scene Kyoko had longed for the most; the graduation ball episode. That’s why they had to be on set all day; because of the ball episode which they would film for the entirety of that night.

The chat scene took more than ten takes, the number coming from Marumi-chan lacking sugar thus making her irate and sluggish, and the time it took for her manager to persuade the director to let her have just a little snack. The entire staff sighed with relief when the scene was finally OK.

Kyoko was just changing into the jean skirt and button-up shirt she’d wear during lunch hours and until it was time for her to put on Natsu’s ball dress; a strapless dream in fuchsia, when a (male) statist suddenly ignored all the rules and burst into her longue when she was just putting the shirt on.

“Kyouko-chan what did you do?!”

“What?!”

“Why is one of Japan’s hottest guys here to see you?!”

“What?”

The statist grabbed her shoulders and shook her rather violently. “How could you? Thank you! I mean; what did you do to upset him enough to come see you here? I’ve hardly ever dared to dream about seeing him up close in real life and here he comes walking through the door and demands to see you! _You_ of all people! He was so handsome I almost fainted and he was disgusted by me, I’m sure!”

Kyoko kept on blinking at the man now crying against her bare shoulder, seemingly still ignorant to the fact her shirt was only halfway on. Who could he be talking about? One of Japan’s hottest guys? Who could ever be the hottest through the eyes of another man? Tsuruga-san? No, that couldn’t be; a statist working with actors would probably shamelessly dream about more than only seeing him. Tsuruga-san was such a busy man that three or four locations a day was like a day off for him. Then who could it be? Kyoko didn’t keep up with them all. She only checked the top ten names on the top lists to remember them in case she met them, and she’d do her research if she knew she would ever act with any of them.

The director strode into the longue, his face locked in a deep frown Kyoko couldn’t decipher.

“Kyouko-san, you have a visitor,” he said tonelessly.

“Who?”

“Fuwa Sho.”

Kyoko’s heart almost stopped as dread filled her being. She didn’t want to see him. Not now. She _couldn’t_ see him.

“He’s waiting for you outside set. Come on, Tsubaki-kun, let go of Kyouko-san so she can get dressed,” the director continued.

“Dressed?”

Only then did the statist lift his head and realize one of the shirt’s arms was empty and one shoulder undressed. He released her as if stung by a bee, and then he stiffly turned and left with the director. Kyoko stood where they left her, clenching her shirt before slowly pulling it on properly. She felt like her stomach was filled with rocks. She felt sick.

Why? Why now? Why did Sho have to show up right now? Right when she most needed to separate from everything she held any kind of attachment to in Tokyo. What could he possibly want? Had he finally heard about her mother forcing her back to Kyoto? Was he here to gloat about his victory? Laugh at her for running away with her tail between her legs?

Kyoko bit back tears and resisted the urge to throw up on the floor. But it was about Sho. No matter what reasons he had, once he had decided he wanted something he’d get it. Meaning; if Sho had decided he wanted to see her, security and rules wouldn’t stop him, and she couldn’t run.

Better see what he wanted and get it over with so that she could concentrate on her performance tonight.

 

* * *

 

Sho waited patiently, if he were to talk for himself. People who passed him of course sent him a look, some looking twice, and decided to leave him alone, though fan girls whispered among themselves if they’d dare to ask what troubled him.

The lack of proper sleep made him more irate than normal when about to deal with his childhood friend. There was a deep wrinkle between his brows and his fingers tapped endlessly against his arm despite his effort to cease the nervous habit by crossing his arms tightly. His foot, leg resting over the other, also twitched from time to time.

Bloody damn Kyoko. Nobody could rail him up the way she did, and she hardly had to do anything to manage it.

It took almost forty-five minutes from when he asked an openly staring guy if he knew where Mogami Kyoko was and watching the dude run off to when the girl actually arrived. The normal plain and boring girl he had grown up with, save for one thing.

Sho’s hands fisted at the hateful and perfectly wary look his friend gave him. She had never looked at him like that before. Her eyes had never said “leave me alone” before. At least not to Sho. Kyoko had never looked like she was afraid of him.

The pop star stood, face passive and calm on the surface and he made a motion with his head for Kyoko to follow him. She didn’t move right away. Her posture; shoulders up, lips pressed into a thin line, one hand fisting the hem of her skirt and the other clenching her stomach.

Kyoko very reluctantly followed.

When they were alone Sho turned with a condescending look. “What the hell are you doing?” he asked with a low voice.

“What do you mean?”

“Your mother’s around.”

Kyoko flinched visibly, her hand pressing into her stomach harder. “So what?”

“I don’t remember much about that woman, not even what she looked like, but I should know she wouldn’t be around you if she didn’t want something of you.”

Kyoko swallowed the lump in her throat, or at least tried to. She didn’t want to be here. Sho’s accusations were the very last things she needed at the moment. She could live a better life without him gloating too.

“I quit.”

The taller man blinked, losing some of his cold demeanour. “What?”

“Mother doesn’t like it that I’m working as an actress. I’m going back to Kyoto as soon as I’ve finished what business I have here.”

Sho’s eyes widened in shock. This wasn’t right. This girl wasn’t Kyoko.

“That’s it?”

Kyoko’s eyes glared at him with that “leave me the hell alone” look over a scrunched up nose. “Yes. _That’s it_ ,” she hissed angrily.

“Haven’t you grown up yet?”

A stab and pain pulsed through her from her heart to the surface of her skin.

“You do realize that you can make your own decisions, right? Or are you too good and proper to actually defy your mother?”

Another stab. Her heart was about to burst.

Sho sighed dramatically with an annoyed expression, mentally patting his back for doing well. Kyoko was listening to him. Her wide, shocked eyes were proof enough. Just one more push and she would be kicking and screaming that nobody told her what to do.

Kyoko was so easy to manipulate.

“And here I thought you were here to…” he tilted his head to the side, nose up and looked down on the shorter girl with a cocky smirk “make me beg.”

That was it. That was the drop. That was the last straw.

“You…!” she growled darkly.

_“As long as you’re under my rule you do as I say.”_

“YOU…!” she screamed.

_“I thought you were here to make me beg.”_

Her voice failed her as her breath got stuck in her throat.

An entire life spent running after backs leaving her, and now that she stopped trying to reach them, they all came back to push her around, make her keep following in their shadows after them.

“YOU ARE NO DIFFERENT FROM MY MOTHER! Leave! Get out of here! I never want to see you again, you hear me! NEVER!”

Fuwa Sho stood frozen on the spot as Kyoko ran away from him. She ran all the way back to her longue, slammed the door shut, locked it and collapsed on the ground.

She screamed.

A terrible, piercing wail of fury.

And of agony.


	25. The falling star

Shoko waited in the car, not knowing exactly what to believe. This wasn’t the first time Sho got an idea in his head and just went with it, but it was certainly the first time he cancelled any work for it. That was both out of character as well as illogical. The only reason Shoko could think of that had caused this reaction was that Tsuruga Ren had made a move on Kyoko-chan. If that was the case then Shoko could somewhat forgive her charge. Somewhat.

But _if_ Tsuruga Ren really had made a move on Kyoko-chan, how had Sho heard about it before Shoko? She always knew everything first. Kyoko-chan’s appearances on TV, what’s-new, updates… Shoko would always be first to know, because Sho was eccentric and didn’t take the time to look at others than Tsuruga Ren, and occasionally Kyoko-chan, when she showed another new face in TV.

If Shoko was to be honest, Kyoko-chan frightened her a tiny bit. Not that Kyoko-chan was cunning or controlling or even the slightest bit bitchy like a lot… like near everybody in showbiz were. Kyoko-chan was like an innocent flower in this world, without thorns or hidden flaws. She was like a ghost.

The door to the passenger seat opened and Sho took his seat, sinking into it with his head low so that his bangs covered his alarmingly pale face.

“Let’s go home,” he said lowly after swallowing.

“Sho? What happened?”

“Nothing.”

It was a whole new side to Fuwa Sho, one that scared Shoko. This wasn’t the cocky pop-star she worked with. It wasn’t the spoilt brat she took care of. His long body was almost curled into a ball in the seat beside her and his shoulders came all the way up to his ears.

An ashamed little boy.

Shoko shook her head. Better not put words to that thought when Sho looked so pitiful. If he had been his normal self he would have reacted strongly enough. How would he react now?

Kyoko-chan. Leave it to her to put Sho in moods Shoko had never seen him have.

As the car started and they drove away Sho didn’t notice how an old, nervous habit suddenly kicked in. He started pulling at his sleeves and twisted them.

_“You’re no different from my mother!”_

The words rung throughout his head, loud and hard.

‘That’s not true,’ he defended himself weakly. ‘I never shied away from your touch. I held your hand and never pushed you away no matter what.’

 _“You’re no different from my mother!”_ Kyoko’s voice screamed at him again.

‘I am different! She left you all alone, but I was your friend and took care of you…’

_“You’re no different!”_

Sho’s stomach clenched and he felt sick. He sank even deeper into the seat. His hand crawled up his arm and grabbed his elbow tightly.

 

* * *

 

Since Shoko had somehow managed to cancel some interviews and been forced to only postpone a few, Sho mainly had the day off since they didn’t have a meeting with _The dead Saints_ until later at night. Still Sho wanted to go to the studio where he could have some time alone with his guitar.

The pop-star got out of the vehicle before his manager had even parked it properly and ran into the building. He got all the way to the corridor outside the studio before he ran into the one person he really didn’t want to see; Kilill-san.

Kirill could admit that pain wasn’t the only thing surviving a war had caused him. There was a lot of anger simmering just beneath the surface too. Thanks to Yuni and Ivy that anger had been cooling down over the years, but now, after hearing Mogami’s voice explode and die just like a grenade… Kirill kept his arms crossed so that he wouldn’t ruin the younger boy’s face by planting his fist in it.

“So…” the Russian man drawled darkly, his voice resounding in Sho’s chest. “What happened?”

“It’s got nothing to do with you,” Sho snapped at him and tried to walk past the taller man.

Kirill wouldn’t have that. His fist made more than one crack in the wall. “Do not walk away from me, Fuva.”

 

* * *

 

The music studio; Sho’s sanctuary. At least it used to be. Now that he was trapped in it together with Kirill and Malin, Sho wished he was anywhere but here.

He sat on the couch, eyes stubbornly fixed on the floor and mouth shut. Kirill stood leaning against the wall beside the locked door and Malin sat leaned back in a chair with arms and legs crossed.

Malin was first to break the heavy silence “Start talking, Fuwa. The sooner you spill the sooner you’ll get out of this.”

“There’s nothing to say,” Sho snapped.

“There is much to say,” Kirill stated, his voice hard and cold. “What happened with you and Mogami?”

“Nothing.”

The Russian band members were quiet for a while, but Sho could feel their eyes on him, drilling holes in his skin on their way to his heart. He felt like a mouse trapped in a snake nest.

He really wasn’t going to get out until he told them?

“I…” Sho started, hesitating. The tight feeling in his chest tightened even more. “Kyoko and I…” He glanced up and saw Malin sit in front of him. She had a face and eyes of patience. She would sit and wait until he told her what she wanted to know. “As kids, we were friends, because she… Kyoko didn’t have anybody else.”

“Nobody?” Malin pressed.

Sho shook his head. “She said it was because I spent time with only her that girls hated her. My popularity was really vast already back then.”

The look on Malin’s and Kirill’s faces said they were not impressed. Sho should have known better. No matter how many fans he had here in Japan, now he was talking to internationally known rock-stars.

“So you took pity on her?” Malin inquired, probably without ill intentions, but to Sho it sounded like she dared him to say yes.

“No. Our mothers were friends.”

It was the truth. There was nothing more than that. The fact that Kyoko’s mother treated her badly and refused to touch unless it was to forcefully pull her along didn’t have anything to do with the friendship Sho had shared with Kyoko as a child.

Or did it?

Sho nervously pulled at his sleeves. He had never thought he took pity on Kyoko. Not even after that woman up and left. Sure, Sho had spent a lot of time with Kyoko then and had hardly ever left her alone, except for in school. Because she had needed to be distracted or else she’d cry. Working at the inn didn’t always help keep her mind busy. But Kyoko was strong and always made it through. Sho had figured she’d taught herself to dwell in her dream world even during the days to endure the pain of being left behind, or maybe to hide it away.

“So…” Kirill drawled. “Mogami’s relationship with her mother. How is it?”

Sho flinched. Kyoko’s words from earlier resounded in his head again. “I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t think Kyoko’s mom even wanted to be a mother.”

Kirill shared a look with Malin. The woman who got murdered in Russia all those years ago was mistaken for Mogami Sana and caused the couple to separate. With such a background and from what Sho said Kirill was surprised the woman had even kept the child. Maybe she had been hoping for a reunion when she could proudly show the proof of their love. If that was true, then the situation was tragic for more than one reason.

Why do good intentions backfire so often?

“I believe you,” Kirill said slowly. “Now you say what happened between you and Mogami.”

“I told you! Nothing happened!”

“Liar.”

Sho flinched again. Why was Kilill-san pressing this matter so hard?

“You asked me if I know who try to kill Mogami,” the Russian man started, as if he’d heard the silent question and was explaining his reason. “I told you I think Mogami is trying to kill herself.”

Malin’s head whipped around to face her partner, but she said nothing. Sho felt like he was going to be sick and clenched his stomach. He’d never felt like this. He was afraid. The thought of Kyoko, his friend, his best friend disappearing forever scared him more than he thought it would.

“I’m afraid a sister of mine is involved.”

“Huh?” Sho looked up blinking. “Sister? You have a sister? Here?” He blinked a few more times. “Didn’t you say your sisters are gone?”

“I might have,” Kirill admitted but couldn’t remember when that could have happened. “But before I knew two of them are alive probably.”

“And what does your sisters have to do with Kyoko?”

Kirill gave him a look. “Me cousin with Mogami; sister mine cousin with Mogami, automatic.”

“That’s not what I asked for!” Sho yelled, and only then did he notice the anger he felt. He couldn’t do this. Kyoko couldn’t take up this much of his energy. He was Fuwa Sho; the forever cool and composed next Japan’s-hottest-guy for crying out loud!

“Sit down, Fuva,” Kirill said, his voice deep and heavy on Sho’s head. He had no choice but to obey.

“The situation hasn’t changed since we locked you up in here, Fuwa,” Malin said and leaned on her knees. “Tell us what happened between you and Mogami and we’ll let you go, I promise you.”

He did want to get out. Sho really wanted to be anywhere but here, but it was about Kyoko. There were a few things Sho simply didn’t share with anybody, and Kyoko was one of those things. He’d never shared Kyoko, and now wasn’t a good time to start.

“You can’t protect her that way.”

“Eh?”

Kirill’s blue eyes had softened considerably. “I hear you, Fuva. You protect Mogami. But keeping her from me will save her not. Rather, it might get worse if you not let me in.”

Sho swallowed and looked back down to the floor. That’s when Malin suddenly stood up, unlocked the door and left, but Kirill locked it behind her again.

“So, now only I can hear. Tell me, Fuva.”

The pop-star kept his eyes down and fiddled with his sleeves, but Kirill could hear how his heavy defence was cracking open.

“She told me she’s going back to Kyoto.”

Kirill blinked. Sho’s voice was low and reluctant, but the Russian man was quite sure he hadn’t heard him wrong.

“Going back to Kyoto?”

Sho only nodded.

“That’s it? She said nothing more?”

The younger fidgeted. “We… we had an argument,” not totally true but not a lie either.

“And what happened?” Kirill pressed further.

“What usually happens when you fight?” Sho snapped and refused to say anything else. This was his business. Kyoko was only his business.

Kirill lowered his head in understanding, trying hard to not let his anger boil over and make him strangle the younger. He had said something important. “Would Mogami lie to you?” he asked through his teeth.

“Huh?” Sho blinked. Kyoko? Lie? As far as Sho was concerned Kyoko couldn’t lie to save her life… but she was an actress now… “I don’t think so,” he answered quietly.

The room fell silent again, before Kirill suddenly unlocked the door.

“You’re free to go,” was all he said, and Sho hesitated only a second before he was out of the room.

Malin came back inside. “Well?”

The tall man sighed. “Bad news… and good ones.”

“Take the good one first.”

“Mogami is not suicidal. Fuva said she plans to go back to some place that sounded like her first name.”

“Kyoto?” Malin suggested.

“Yeah, that’s it.”

The dark-skinned woman took a deep breath. “And the bad news is that Miss Mogami _didn’t_ take drugs and poison herself.”

Kirill just rubbed his forehead. There was no need in stating the obvious. “Let’s find Ivy and Yuni.”

 

* * *

 

Kyoko-san had locked herself up in her longue all day, ever since Fuwa Sho came to see her. Not only that. Once she had come back from that meeting a number of heart-piercing wails had sounded from her room along with fists banging against the walls. The cries and banging had stopped after a while, but Kyoko-san hadn’t answered to anyone knocking on the door asking if she was alright. The director had actually given the order to break the bloody door open to get to the girl, and only then had Kyoko-san responded.

“Leave me alone!” she had shrieked, loud and angrily through the door, accompanied by a hard bang on it.

Amamiya Chiori had stood on guard outside the longue all the time, staring holes in the door. She had debated on whether or not to call for Kotonami-san, but had dismissed the idea due to the lack of a phone number. Well, she hadn’t thought of asking for it since they didn’t actually work together. She figured she could call around, but didn’t know exactly who to call or where to find somebody who had Kotonami-san’s number. It was really pissing Chiori off.

But she was more worried. Kyoko-san had never acted like this. By the way; who was the idiot who had done this to her? It could ruin the filming and they only had permission to use L.M.E’s “ball room” set for tonight because another movie had booked the bloody place for two weeks forward. They wouldn’t get off work till early morning for crying out loud!

Chiori was writing furiously in her notebook when suddenly the door to Kyoko-san’s longue opened, and there stood Natsu, without make-up, hair tied back in preparation of becoming the queen of the night. How did Kyoko-chan manage to look like her role even without make-up?

It was only the state of her eyes that gave her away.

“Yumika. It’s almost time for the ball. Why are you here?”

“I was worried about you, so I decided to wait for you.”

Natsu smiled gracefully. “Wasn’t that nice of you. Have you seen the make-up lady by any chance? She was supposed to be here half an hour ago.”

“I’ll go get her,” Chiori hurried to say and stood to leave.

“Thank you, Yumika,” Natsu called after her.

Love-Me’s third member just waved over her shoulder. Kyoko-san had been crying. The tender skin around her eyes and the redness of the otherwise bright sunset eyes were dead giveaways. Chiori bit her lip. Was it really fine for Kyoko-san to get in front of the camera like that? It would take more than just make-up to hide the ugliness.

Needless to say the director was relieved to hear Kyoko-san had finally opened the door and was ready to act and he rushed to her longue along with the make-up lady to check on her.

The room was in a state. There wasn’t much in there except for chairs and Kyoko-san’s personal belongings. Everything lay scattered everywhere. Dolls mostly. Though interested by the dolls that looked like nothing the director had seen before, he ignored them to focus on the actress who sat prepared for make-up in front of the mirror.

“Yes?” she queried with a raised eyebrow.

“Kyoko-san, how are you feeling?”

For a while the girl just looked at him with those eyes ruined by crying, before she smiled a true, Natsu-joyous smirk. “Like never before, director. Tonight you will see me like never before. So what do you say?” Her smile was almost innocent as she leaned her head on her hand. “Shouldn’t we both start getting prepared for the show?”

The director nodded before he really understood the words. “Yes,” he said then and waved the make-up lady to him to whisper in her ear. “Make sure to fix her eyes.”

“I will, director,” the woman promised.

 

* * *

 

Ivy was getting tired. Kirill had just gathered the band for yet another Mogami meeting to inform them of the latest news.

“And you believe Kirra is involved in the attempt at Mogami’s life?” the blind woman asked as much as stated.

“I wish I only suspected it, Ivy,” Kirill responded. “But I’m absolutely certain Kirra has a hand in the game. That’s why she showed herself to me, that’s why she left Zoya with Mogami when she abducted me. I can bet my boots she’s had me dancing to her tune ever since I arrived in Japan.”

Yuni stood and stopped the younger man in the middle of his pacing. “Calm down, Kirill. Remember what I told you about stress?”

“If you feel it rising, drink water, sit down and concentrate on counting the cracks in the ceiling,” the man rattled off from memory.

“That’s right. And how are you feeling right now?”

Point taken. Kirill took a deep breath and at least sat down. “Kirra won’t be found if she doesn’t want to. I’ve tried to call her but she’s blocked me. I don’t know what else to do.”

“Start with answering this question,” Yuni stated, still standing in front of her younger friend in case he tried to start pacing again. “Why would you sister want Miss Mogami dead?”

“How would I know? I don’t know Kirra like I used to,” Kirill snapped.

“Kirill,” Ivy said, voice heavy with authority. “Listen to Yuni. Right now she is saying something sensible.”

Whenever Yuni’s kind treatment failed, Big Boss Ivy’s authority always pulled Kirill back to the ground, although it most of the time moved him into the corner of shame.

“I’m sorry.”

“Repeat your question, fighter,” Ivy continued, referring to Yuni.

“Why would Kirra want Miss Mogami dead? Whatever would she gain from that?”

Kirill let the words sink in, asking himself the same questions. Why would Kirra want to kill Mogami Kyoko?

“I don’t think she would gain anything,” he said slowly after a long while.

“And you don’t think she’s been hired by someone?” Malin suddenly asked.

The entire room fell silent as wide eyes turned to the Egyptian woman.

“Possible,” Kirill mumbled. “But who would?”

“We don’t know,” Ivy stated and stood. Now she was really tired and they hadn’t finished work for today. “We’ve hit another dead end and we’ve got a talk-show to attend.”

Everybody sighed. “Yes, Big Boss.”

 

* * *

 

It had taken a bit of time and great effort, but it paid off when Natsu walked onto set, more charismatic and beautiful than ever. Fuchsia was definitely her colour, and the white pearls in her hair and soft pink ones of the earrings only highlighted Kyoko’s creamy skin. “Princess Rosa”, as the girl called her necklace, hung proudly around her neck. Unless you knew what to look at you’d never be able to tell she had been crying all day.

The director tried to be gentle with her while not showing it and hoping that Kyouko-san’s sharpness wouldn’t pick up on his carefulness around her. That girl always kept an eye on everyone around her when she was on stand-by. Why she did that was a mystery though, and _Box ‘R’_ s director hadn’t thought of asking about it.

Luckily though she seemed to still be quite distressed. When in stand-by her eyes glazed over and she appeared to be completely shut off from the world. Still, one word was all it took to have her snap back into reality, or more precisely; back into her role.

After the first scene where Marumi-san entered the party and Natsu greeted her was OK without trouble the director thought he’d be able to breathe a little easier. But halfway through the evening he felt himself growing stressed and nervous. He kept glancing at Kyouko-san and some re-takes were because he lost focus. It was like there was a ticking bomb in the room named Kyouko-san. Any minute now she would break down and cry and they could all say goodbye to the rest of tonight’s filming.

“Director. Are you alright?”

Natsu’s sunset eyes calmly stared at him. He had forgotten to signal the end of the scene again!

“Argh! I can’t take this anymore!”

Everybody rushed forward to see what was wrong. The director was gently seated in his chair and a cup of hot tea was placed in his hand.

“Director.”

Kyouko… no Natsu’s voice. She once again stood before him, looking mature and superior in her beautiful costume and make-up. She smirked playfully and tilted her head.

“Are you going to miss me?”

“Huh?” What was she saying?

“This is the last night. After tonight you won’t see us anymore. This stress you feel… are you feeling forlorn perhaps?”

The director blinked and opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish, causing Natsu to giggle a little.

“Director,” she said and leaned forward slightly, allowing a small show of cleavage. ”This is the last night. Let’s make it worthwhile.”

The man in the chair at first couldn’t answer at all. Kyouko-san; the reason for his collapse to begin with was doing the consoling! He so wanted to know how she did it. His focus returned. Obviously Kyouko-san was strong and professional enough to ignore her personal issues.

He chuckled to himself. “You’re right, Natsu-san.” His eyes lifted to meet her smirking face with his own determined one. “Let’s make it worthwhile.”

 

* * *

 

The clock showed the time 3.45 am when Kyoko sneaked through the back door of Daruma-Ya. She only had about four hours to sleep before she had to go to her next set. The last few scenes of _Always a child_ would be shot today.

In her room Kyoko slowly changed into her pj and readied her futon. She was tired. Really tired. Still…

The daruma doll stared sadly at her from its place on the bookcase. It probably knew as well as Kyoko herself did. There would never be a second eye painted on it.

Kyoko pulled out the trashcan. Okami-san had emptied it recently it seemed, because there was nothing inside it.

The daruma doll became trash. “My dream.”

Sho’s poster was picked down from the wall and slowly torn into pieces. “My goal.”

Kyoko had saved the empty make-up things Moko-san had gotten for her birthday. A secret she had also kept was a button from the rooster Bou’s costume after Tsuruga-san had torn the hat off its head. _Bridge Rock_ hadn’t tried to contact her after their last encounter. No surprise really.

She threw away everything.

“My friends.”

The poster of Tsuruga Ren was also taken down from the wall, torn to pieces and thrown into the trash, closely followed by the tear-shaped Princess Rosa.

“Why did you lie to me?”

Kyoko closed her eyes tightly and fought the feeling rising in her throat.

Corn lay quietly in his purse, waiting for his turn. Kyoko wordlessly pulled the minimal purse out of her bag and stared at it. She had bought this purse because it was so perfect for Corn to sleep in. It still was, but ever since Tsuruga-san’s lips had touched it Kyoko had kept it in the purse to protect herself from the newly added magic.

Now Kyoko opened the purse and Corn fell out into her hand. Nothing happened. The stone looked black in the darkness, like everything else. The feelings didn’t change. Corn possessed no magic. It was only stupid, gullible little Kyoko as always. Now that the memory of Corn had shattered into glass shards scattered all over the road she tried to walk with bare feet, the stone felt cold as ice in her hand.

“Everything that I believed in.”

Corn joined the rest of the trash, dark and cold inside a minimal purse, and Kyoko silently cried herself to sleep.


	26. The last act

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm terribly sorry you've had to wait so long for this! The story's almost over too.

Since he often worked till late at night it was rare for Tsuruga Ren to see the sunrise. Now that he was going to have an extra early meeting with the director about his role as BJ, Ren found he couldn’t enjoy the celestial celebration of the sun’s arrival.

_“You’re just like Sho.”_

Ren closed his eyes. Mogami-san. The imprint of her hand still burnt on his cheek even now. He wished he knew where and how she was. The last Ren had heard about the girl was that she had gone back to work and the poisoning story was very toned down.

Shaking his head the actor left his car to head for his meeting. Yashiro-san wasn’t present today and Ren had to pick him up right after this. Yet Mogami-san’s face lingered on his mind. She had been hurt soul deep. Corn was such an important memory for her.

How could Captain Latch have known?

“Tsuruga-kun. Good morning.”

He looked up and realized he had arrived to the meeting room and was greeted by the director.

“Yes. Good morning,” he answered and smiled best he could.

“You look a little troubled. Are you alright?”

“Yes, yes. Nothing to worry about.”

The director looked at him for a second, but then he seemed to decide to believe the actor. “The script is finished, Tsuruga-san. If you could please take a look.”

“Of course.”

 

* * *

 

Thinking ahead and make up plans had never been Kyoko’s strongest trait, but now she checked her money account and what a ticket to Kyoto would cost via her mobile. Because there was so little time left, and in a flash of wistful thinking Kyoko decided to not buy the ticket until she stood at the train station, ready to leave. In case somebody would need her.

Only two or three days left now.

Mogami Kyoko was packing. It was only morning and she had thirty minutes to finish up, eat breakfast and head to set. She hadn’t checked her appearance in the mirror yet, too afraid of what she might see.

She remembered this feeling. Wished she didn’t. Ever since her mother had just shown up and started to pick her dreams and career apart piece by piece it had slowly been creeping up on her.

Hopelessness. A detestable word for a detestable feeling. She knew though. Had known it all along; she had always been hopeless. Being left behind by her mother should have put up all the red flags needed. But Kyoko had ignored them. Ignored it all and kept trying to push forward. Always forward. Now suddenly there was no forward to aim for. She was heading straight back to square one. Once back in Kyoto her mother would disappear again no doubt. And Shotaro…

Kyoko snatched her bag and left. She only had twenty five minutes to get to set on time, and it would take her five minutes to get there. It’s always good to be early.

“Leaving already?”

Kyoko looked up, surprised.

“Ah, Boss. Good morning,” she greeted and bowed respectfully like always. She realized she hadn’t seen much of her landlords lately. When she came back from Kioku the restaurant hadn’t closed yet and Kyoko had been so tired she’d entered through the back door, peeked into the kitchen to notify her boss she was back and then gone straight to bed.

“Have you really given up on your dreams to become a star?”

Kyoko haltered. She had to admit Boss was a sharp man. It had helped her before. Perhaps he was trying to help her now as well.

She looked at him with gratitude, smiling a sad, tired smile. “I never gave up, Boss. The reason why I was chasing the dream is gone, that’s all.”

 

* * *

 

This early morning Hoshisawa Kyoko was heading for her next set to shoot the last few scenes for _Always a child_ when she suddenly spotted no other than Tsuruga Ren in the hallway. This was her chance! She took a quick look at her reflection in a window she passed, straightened out her cloths and fixed her hair.

“Tsuruga-san. Good morning!”

Japan’s top actor turned to her. His face was a little less stunning than on TV, but Hoshisawa didn’t care. It was Tsuruga Ren for crying out loud.

“Good morning, jou-san,” he greeted back with a kind smile.

Hoshisawa’s heart melted, but then she realized Ren was about to just keep walking. “Um… Excuse me!”

He turned back to her. God, those grey eyes were deep. “I-I’m sorry to bother you. My name is Hoshisawa Kyoko and I will soon be working with you. I thought I could get to know you a little, you know. To prepare for acting against you.”

He smiled again. She did it!

“I’m sorry, but I’m in a hurry. I’ll see you at work.”

…What?

Ren was already far down the hallway when his words fully registered in Hoshisawa’s mind.

“Ah! Tsuruga-san!” she called and ran after the star, but he was already gone. “What happened?”

The young actress took another look at her reflection in a window. Why hadn’t Tsuruga Ren accepted her offer? She was a pretty girl and she hadn’t been turned down since… well, those three idiots calling themselves _Bridge Rock_. They had been a real turn off. But Ren was not like them.

‘Maybe it was his standards that got in the way,’ Hoshisawa thought. That had to be it. She was dressed like a cute teenager with her reddish hair pulled up in into two tufts on the sides of her head. That wouldn’t look good beside a grownup man. Next time she saw Ren she would make sure she looked like a proper adult. Then surely he would notice her.

With that set, Hoshisawa turned and continued on her earlier heading; _Always a child_.

 

* * *

 

The wrinkle between Lory Takarada’s eyebrows had become permanent. He hadn’t held a decent love-speech in two days, the memory of Kirra bothered him and he was worried sick about Mogami-kun. Sebastian wished he could do something about it, or at least stop his master from pacing a hole in the mat.

When work came in, the president finished it without putting all of his heart into it, which added more of guilt to the burdens on his shoulders.

After rejecting a third manuscript by saying nothing more than “not good enough”, the butler stepped forward.

“Master, should I put on _Love me Tender_ for you?”

Lory took in a deep breath, expanding his lungs to the brink of bursting. “Yes please,” he pleaded as he let the air out and sank down on one of the sofas. Maybe a good dose of sugar sweet and passionate music and the voice of Elvis Presley would sooth his taut nerves.

 

* * *

 

Shiva Io was preparing for today’s performance with a rock of worry in her stomach. She’d never been in this sort of situation before. Mogami Kyoko. Shiva had taken her to heart early in this project, being the loving and protective mother character as she was in real life. Now there was a risk of a young actress, a young, sweet and thoroughly lovable actress, dying.

“Shiva-san, your forehead.”

“What?” the actress looked at the female make-up artist in the mirror.

“Can you please smooth out your forehead for just a minute?”

Looking at her reflection Shiva was shocked at the number of wrinkles appearing on her face, and they grew in number as her frown got deeper.

“Sh-Shiva-san?”

“Forgive me. I’m just having a bad day.” The middle-aged actress cleared her head, focused on happy memories of her daughter’s childhood. After only a short while she felt the pads and brushes applying make-up on her face again.

The door opened and light steps entered the room.

“Good morning, minna-san,” Kyoko-chan’s gentle voice greeted.

Shiva opened an eye. “Kyoko-chan, good morning.”

“You’re here early, Kyouko-san,” the make-up artist said with a slight smile. “Mikado-san isn’t here yet.”

“Ah, that’s fine. I can read the script again while I wait.”

Shiva watched the younger actress as unobtrusively as possible though the mirror. Kyoko-chan looked… drained.  That was the word. Something had completely drained all her energy, motivation and spirit and left a teenage girl with the face of a lone mother past her forties rising three wild children on her own… Ok, perhaps not that bad, but Kyoko-chan was definitely not in top shape.

The door opened again.

“Minna-san. Good morning,” sang the chirp voice of Hoshisawa Kyoko.

“Morning,” Shiva greeted absent-mindedly. She didn’t have too high respects towards this young actress. In difference from Kyoko-chan who was generally polite and nice to everyone, Hoshisawa-san was overly friendly with only those with high status and a good reputation. Towards Kyoko-chan she had been nice at first but now ignored.

That’s why Shiva was surprised to see the younger actress walk straight towards Kyoko-chan.

“Good morning, Kyoko-chan.”

Kyoko looked up. “Hoshisawa-san,” she acknowledged.

The other actress sat down in the chair beside Kyoko. “I wanted to ask you something.”

“Yes?”

“You were working with Tsuruga Ren for _Dark Moon_ , right? What kind of person is he?”

Tsuruga Ren. The dark side of Kyoko opened her eyes and her minions awoke.

“He is a liar,” they said.

“A slime ball that will ruin your life with a sweet smile on his face.”

“His smile is full of venom of the most deadly sort.”

“Once you’re in his net he will eat you piece by piece.”

“A thoroughly horrible person.”

Hoshisawa fell out of the chair when she couldn’t back away from Kyoko anymore. It wasn’t this she expected when she asked.

“I get it. I get it. You don’t like him. I won’t ask anymore.”

The evil minions didn’t disappear. They kept floating around Kyoko, moaning and whispering curses. It was hard for the other people in the room not to stare.

“Hallo everyone! Good morning!” Sunawa Mikado, Kyoko’s almost personal make-up artist for this project, called happily when he arrived.

Kyoko’s evil minions all zeroed in on him, hating him for his chirp mood this early in the morning. The man froze.

“Ky… Kyouko-chan? Are you not feeling well?”

“Good morning, Sunawa-san. I am feeling terrific today. Let’s work hard today too.”

The minions moaned loudly.

“Su… sure. Let’s. Then… are you ready to become Aiko-chan?” Sunawa asked nervously, holding up his tools.

Make-up. The only one thing that for sure can chase Kyoko’s evil minions and her dark side back into the darkness inside her.

“I’m ready anytime,” she smiled.

And while Kyoko sat in front of the mirror, Hoshisawa sat in the corner, her mind having worked around what Kyoko had said earlier.

A horrible person, she had said about Tsuruga Ren. Ren didn’t have any marks anywhere in his career. He’d never had an official girlfriend and there were no rumours of secret ones either. But Kyoko’s replay on what kind of person Ren was hinted to a man who shamefully played with girl hearts.

Hoshisawa liked that. A shallow relationship. In showbiz, if you wanted to reach the top, that was the only kind of relationship you could afford.

She glanced towards Kyoko’s bag that lay beside the chair she had occupied earlier. Everybody left their bags in here during shooting.

A smile spread across Hoshisawa’s face as an idea formed in her mind.

 

* * *

 

Today’s theme was Great Thinkers. Lory Takarada was cosplaying as Leonardo Da Vinci in hopes of a bright idea coming to him from the skies. Or the earth. Either was fine as long as he got a grasp of what had avoided him for days now.

The door opened. “President. I have rewritten my script again. Will you please take a look it?”

Lory looked up, recognizing a man whose works he refused half of the time. “You never give up, do you?”

“You know everything about love, president. I have a passion for bringing stories to life to show them to the world. True and wholehearted passion or I wouldn’t have come back again and again. Surely you can understand that.”

Lory looked into the man’s stubborn eyes, his brain clicking as the wheels started to fall into place.

“What did you say?”

“I said I have passion for…”

“No, before that.”

The man blinked. “Huh? Uh? I said… you know everything about love… I think.”

_“You know everything about love, president, how much of a double-edged sword it is…”_

Lory stood and then stilled.

“President?”

_“The relationship between Saena and Kyoko is the same.”_

“President, are you all right?”

“So I know everything about love, you say?”

The man in front of Lory blinked. “You don’t?” he asked.

“No. Not everything. If I’m blind enough to not notice something so obvious I can’t say I know anything about love at all. I’ll take a look at your script later. Leave it here. There’s something I have to do immediately.” the president said before he picked up his phone and headed towards the exit, looking around for Sebastian. “Call Mogami-kun. If she doesn’t answer, call Sawara-kun if he knows where she is right now. We’re going to get her right away.”

Sebastian bowed to let his master know he heard and understood.

Lory strode into the outer office and turned to the secretary. “Contact Polnoch Sana and ask her to a meeting with me here tonight after work. No, wait. On second thought, don’t ask her. She’s going to show up here after work by order of Lory Takarada. Tell her I know what is going on between her and her daughter and what happened to her sister and fiancé.”

The secretary gave him a long look.

“Right now,” Lory stressed.

“Okay, president, but are you sure a simple ‘please’ wouldn’t suffice?”

“Absolutely certain, Karin-san. Polnoch Sana _must_ stand in my office after work _today_.”

The secretary gave him another long look.

“Are my orders diffuse, Karin-san?” Lory asked with a sweet smile hiding a horned monster called anger.

“N-no. Of course not, president. I’ll call her right away.

“Good,” Lory nodded.

“Master. Why are you in a rush?” Sebastian asked, having already finished his calls. Working fast as usual.

“I just remembered,” Lory told him. “I remembered what Kirra-san told me. In fact, she explained the entire situation and offered a solution with only two sentences. I couldn’t remember because I couldn’t quite follow her sharp turns and mood swings. I understood her words wrong.”

“But you understand them right now, master?” Sebastian pressed.

“Definitely. Where is Mogami-kun?”

“She didn’t answer, but Sawara-san said she’s on set. Shooting for _Always a child_ , but it’s unclear where that is. Apparently they are shooting a suicide scene and the director was worried after what happened at Kioku only a few days ago.”

Lory froze mid-step. He’d almost forgotten. The poisoning case Mogami-kun was involved in.

Poison…

_“…unlike the poison drugs I gave Mogami Kyoko.”_

His heart almost stopped, the image in his mind too frightening to be real. It had to be some sort of sick, twisted joke.

“We must hurry. Who directs that movie?”

“Sou Akira.”

“Contact him directly. Mogami-kun is _not_ allowed to complete a suicide scene.”

 

* * *

 

Sou Akira, director of _Always a child_ , ensured the pills in the box were only placebos for the twelfth time since he arrived on set. He’d kept them in his pocket for two days now, holding on to it almost all the time. They were just at the end of a project, the very key scene and the ending left before shooting was over. Mogami-chan had to stay safe during that time.

The poison-case had given the director a serious fright at Kioku. They couldn’t just switch actress at the very last scenes.

He checked the placebos again. The same custom-made faintly pink pills that would look white through the lens lay innocently inside their little pillbox. He couldn’t afford a fiasco. He’d kill himself if Mogami-chan died and ruined the entire end of the movie.

“Sou-san?”

The stocky man jumped and spun around. “Oh. Mogami-chan, it’s just you. How are you feeling? Feeling nervous? There’s no need to worry, Mogami-chan. I have taken extra safety-measures to ensure the scenes today will be fulfilled without unwanted accidents. So please don’t be nervous and just trust me. Ne, Mogami-chan?”

The girl blinked at him. “Director, are you really that nervous?”

“Me?” Sou faked a laugh. “I’m nervous? Why should I be nervous, Mogami-chan? I have everything, absolutely everything under control. And when I say everything, I mean every single detail. There will be no accidents today or ever. I will have the placebos in my pocket and give them to you only when it’s time to shoot. Okay?”

Kyoko blinked again. She hadn’t thought her collapse in Kioku had shaken the director as much as it obviously had. She felt ashamed of herself to have let it happen. As an actress she should never ever let a single scratch come upon her body. Director Kuroseki had already told her so on her very first actual acting job; “do not get sick or injured” and she had taken drugs…

_“SHUT UP! WHY DON’T YOU JUST DIE!!!?”_

She swallowed hard. There had been a reason why she had taken the drugs. Moko-san’s words still felt like a stab in the heart every time she remembered them.

“I’m sorry for the trouble,” she said.

“No trouble, no trouble,” the director said while waving his arms. “Your safety is my first, second, third, fourth and fifth priority. You needn’t worry, Mogami-chan. You’ll be perfectly safe today.”

“Yes, thank you.”

“Director, we must go over the stage again,” the assisting director called.

“I’ll be right there. You, Mogami-chan, stay safe.”

“I will.”

Though Kyoko smiled, it was only her mouth that did as she watched the director’s back as he left.

She’d brought the drugs The Black Goddess had given her. There was only three more left. She had sort of been hoping the strange woman would come and take the drugs back, but of course, how could that happen? They were on a secret set only the involved knew about. The director had contacted her only last night to tell her about the changes.

_“It’s for your safety, in case there is actually someone after your life.”_

Kyoko felt guilty now too somewhere in the midst of all the shame for having taken the drugs and caused so much trouble in the first place. It bothered her that her sight on the right eye was constantly blurred too. Her problems with the left eye were almost gone and only went out of focus at night when she had to strain her sight. Kyoko had figured she still could read as long as she kept her right eye closed, but reading with only one eye was hard and would take time to get used to would the problem remain.

The teenage girl shook her head and slapped her cheeks. She only had three more scenes to shoot; Aiko’s verbal fight with her best friend who had stolen her boyfriend, the last fight with Aiko’s mother and suicide scene. Then there was this one little scene the director hadn’t really decided upon yet that would be shot the next day.

 

* * *

 

Lory was ready to strangle someone. Or at least scream from frustration. He’d tried for fifteen minutes now to get a hold of Sou Akira but the director had seemingly turned his cell off. An unforgiveable act when Lory Takarada wanted to get a hold of someone. It was even more unforgivable to turn ones cell off when it was the matter of life or death.

Sawara-kun hadn’t been able to provide them with the location either, but he was working on it at the moment and Lory wished his subordinate could work faster.

“I’m sorry, president,” Sawara-kun apologized after the fifth fruitless call. “Sou Akira has been very thorough to protect Kyoko-san.”

“I don’t blame him for being thorough. I’m angry that his cell is turned off!”

Sawara looked at his pacing superior with concern. It was rare… no, this was only the second time in all the years of working for him that Sawara saw the president so at a loss of what to do. Lory was always at least two steps ahead of everyone else, but now it seemed like he had slipped on something unpleasant and was suddenly two steps behind instead.

“I’ll try again,” Sawara said and lifted the phone.

 

* * *

 

Ren locked his car and waited for Yashiro-san to circle the vehicle to him.

“There’s not much going on here today,” the manager said, looking at his schedule with a thoughtful face.

“How come?” Ren asked and strode over to the elevator.

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s just one of those days.”

Ren shrugged his shoulders.

“If there’s nothing going on in here maybe we can take the shortcut through studio four.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Yashiro-san agreed.

 

* * *

 

Mogami and Hoshisawa Kyoko stood ready to start their scene. Director Sou Akira looked between them. Hoshisawa-chan had asked to stay until they were finished for the day “To make sure nothing happens to Kyouko-chan” she had said. Sou couldn’t help but feel slightly suspicious. He hadn’t noticed any friendly feelings between the two actresses more than the norm politeness. Why a girl like Hoshisawa-chan, who cared more about her own career than about anyone else, would take a liking to Mogami-chan; an innocent hard worker, was beyond Sou. The difference in acting ability was noticeable too. Maybe Hoshisawa-chan was trying to study Mogami-chan’s way of acting? Or was she jealous?

The director shook his head clear from such thoughts. He couldn’t be as nervous as to see a possible enemy in every corner.

Everyone was looking strangely at him and Sou realized he’d been standing with his arm up to prepare everyone for take for a long time.

“Scene 102. Ready. Action.”

 

* * *

 

_There’s someone on the door? Who could that be?_

_“Hi, Aiko-chan.”_

_It feels like a cold hand is squeezing my heart. Why is Kyoko-chan here?_

_“Can I come in?”_

_No. I want to slam the door into your face. Hopefully your nose will break._

_“Sure.”_

_What am I doing? I don’t want Kyoko-chan to be here. The wound of betrayal is still open, the flesh rotting. This place already reeks too much of… something unpleasant._

_“Aiko-chan. About Toya… You’re pissed, right?”_

_My throat feels thick and dry. I can’t talk at all. Kyoko-chan’s voice feels poisonous._

_“I… I thought so. You’re right; it was… foul… I guess. ‘Course you’re pissed.”_

_“Why are you here?”_

_Who…? Was that my voice? I don’t recognize it. Was it always this raspy?_

_“Because you’re my friend! Aiko-chan, you’re more important than Toya… eh, Toya-kun. I want to stay friends with you.”_

_“What if I don’t?”_

_“Huh?”_

_“I don’t want to see his face… I don’t want to see **you** either. I’m so sick of this!” The pressure in my chest gathers into a large ball of something dark and hateful. “I hate you! I hate this world! Everything I thought was beautiful is… everyone I loved are… Gone! It’s your fault! I **HATE** YOU!”_

_I can’t see anything. My eyes are closed and refuse to open. My head is down and too heavy to lift. The silence is too thick for me to break._

_“Fine, Aiko-chan. At least I tried to stay friends with you. Who would have thought you of all people would ever become so pitiful?”_

_The door open and slams shut, the sound echoing inside my skull._

_What did I expect?_

 

* * *

 

“And cut. Really good you two. One more time please.”

Hoshisawa almost slapped her forehead in frustration, but Mogami Kyoko didn’t show any sign of discomfort. She only nodded her agreement to do the bloody scene all over again. Hoshisawa didn’t have to say she hated this part of her role. Being timid and hesitant wasn’t like her. She only liked her last line in this sappy scene, though wished she could say it more spitefully. After all, when someone treats you like shit when you come to make amends they definitely don’t deserve your friendship. In Hoshisawa’s opinion such people could just go to hell.

She turned her head in attempt to hide her unfitting frown. That’s when she spotted two surprised men. Or rather, she only actually saw one of them. Hoshisawa couldn’t stop herself.

“Tsuruga-san!”

Sou Akira jumped at the actress’s voice and spun around faster than a spin top when he realized she had called the name of a man who shouldn’t be here.

Japan’s top actor lifted his hands and took a step back. “Gomen nasai. There was no sign… we thought the studio was empty. I’m really sorry.”

Sou ran up to the two backing men, pulling them down and whispered to them with a growl-mixed whine to his voice. “Why are you here?”

“Sorry. As I said; we thought there was nobody here,” the tall actor answered hesitatingly.

Sou looked closely at the two intruding men. Both of them looked genuinely taken aback. Besides; this was Tsuruga Ren; Japan’s no. 1 actor for quite some time now. He couldn’t possibly see a young actress only starting out last year as a threat. Not to mention that Mogami-chan was a girl. No matter how high her star raised she couldn’t ever stand on the same place as a male actor. They had different audiences.

And the fact that Mogami-chan was an overly innocent virgin, so pure Sou hadn’t dared touch her even a little after he realized how oblivious she was to his advances.

“Forgive my suspiciousness, Tsuruga-san and…?”

“I’m his manager, Yashiro.”

“Yashiro-san. I don’t think… at least I very much do not _want_ to believe you meant any harm by entering here, but please do me a favour;  don’t tell anybody we’re filming in here.”

Yashiro’s eyes sharpened. “Why not? Do you not have permission to be here?”

“Of course I have permission. Who do you take me for?” the director snarled. “One of my actresses might be targeted by a murderer. I have to protect her.”

Ren blinked, his heart skipping a beat. “Mogami-san is here?”

“Yes, safe and sound, for the time being. Now please promise me; don’t tell anyone we’re in here, for Mogami-chan’s safety.”

“Of course we won’t,” Yashiro promised sincerely. “Kyoko-chan is a friend of ours. Right, Ren.”

Ren’s eyes had been searching for the young girl and only snapped back to attention when he heard his name. “Huh?”

“We won’t say anything about Kyoko-chan’s whereabouts, so that nothing will happen to her,” Yashiro said, his eyes sombre. Ren hadn’t told him exactly what had happened between him and Kyoko-chan, but the girl had slapped Ren clear across the face which had left a red mark on his cheek. The only thing Ren had actually said was that Kyoko-chan was in a bad mood. Not much of an explanation. Yashiro had hoped Kyoko-chan would contact him about it, but of course she hadn’t.

Now Kyoko-chan was somewhere on the set, only yards away from them, and who knows when they would come even this close again? But what could Yashiro do?

Ren nodded in answer. “Yes, of course we won’t say.”

Sou voiced his gratitude for their cooperation and watched as the two tall men left, noticing how Tsuruga Ren glanced over his shoulder. “A friend of ours” the manager had said. Tsuruga Ren was an actor and could therefore never fully be trusted, but Sou furrowed his eyebrows in thought. That look of concern in his eyes seemed genuine.

“Director. We’re ready to shoot again!”

“Oh! Right away.”

Hoshisawa pouted. She had wanted to talk to Tsuruga-san again, or ask him to stay and watch her act to see how great she was.

“Director. Why’d you show Tsuruga-san away? He could have stayed and watched until the end and you’d be certain Tsuruga-san wouldn’t tell anybody you’re filming here.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Hoshisawa-san. Tsuruga-kun is the most wanted actor since two years back now, by women and directors alike. If he’s here it means he’s working. Now back to your place.”

The girl straightened her back at the order. She would probably have stomped with her foot hadn’t pride stopped her. She stuck her nose in the air and turned around, heading for a chair to go on a sit-down strike.

Sou sighed deeply. “Hoshisawa-san,” he said with a deep, cold voice. “Remember this is your first project and your diva-antics will ensure it is your _last_ work too.”

“You can’t do that!” the actress exclaimed.

“Oh, I can, Diva-san, and be sure I _will_.”

Kyoko glanced over her shoulder at the two of them. When Hoshisawa-san had called the name of a man she couldn’t stand seeing again Kyoko had just stiffened up and stood as still as she could, hoping to avoid notice. The danger seemed to have passed now, and Hoshisawa-san appeared to be highly displeased that Tsuruga-san hadn’t been allowed to stay and watch. So much that she refused to act now?

“How dare you?” a cold, evil spirit whispered.

“This is our last work,” hissed another.

“Tsuruga Ren is a slithering, poisonous snake,” one spirit of harm moaned.

“He filled me with his poison.”

“Now he’s ruining my last performance.”

The evil spirits floated around Kyoko whose head had for some reason fallen to the side with eyes wide open.

Hoshisawa-san, who’d just turned away from director Sou, jumped back at the sight Kyoko made; a ghost sprung straight from a horror flick.

“W-what’s wrong with you?!”

“Hoshisawa-san,” Kyoko said with a voice that surely couldn’t belong to a human.

The girl flinched back further, only to realize she couldn’t move. Her limbs felt heavy and chills kept running up and down her spine. Kyoko stepped up to Hoshisawa, standing right in front of her with wide eyes and shadowed face.

“You are an actress, aren’t you? Then shouldn’t you have some pride in your work?”

“I’m so sorry, Mogami-sama! I’ll act! I’ll do a perfect job! Please spare me!”

The spell was broken and Hoshisawa ran to her position as if her life depended on it. She had seen some episodes of _Dark Moon_ , but Kyoko’s Mio wasn’t half as scary as real life Kyoko. She was made for a role in _The Ring_ or something.

Kyoko turned to a stiff and pale director. “Let’s proceed.”

“Y-yes. Of co-course, Mogami-chan,” Sou squeaked and lamely waved his hand at the camera. “Back to work, folks.”

 

* * *

 

Yashiro watched Ren closely as the actor was prepared for his role. Ren had been very quiet since they were shooed out of studio four where Kyoko-chan was secretly shooting. Was the situation really so bad they had to go to such lengths to protect her? Yashiro really didn’t like it. A cold lump had settled in his heart and stomach. Kyoko-chan was such a sweet girl, how could anyone wish to harm her? Let alone kill her? That was taking things ten steps too far.

The manager took in Ren’s empty expression again, noticing one brow was furrowed.

“Tsu… Tsuruga-san, are you not feeling well?” the hair-dresser asked nervously with a quiet voice.

Ren’s dark eyes looked at her in the mirror.

“I-I’m sorry, Tsuruga-san! I shouldn’t meddle in your affairs.”

The actor didn’t answer. Yashiro frowned in worry. No matter how bad he felt, Tsuruga Ren always answered when people talked to him. Obviously he was more distressed about Kyoko-chan than Yashiro had thought.

“Th-there. All done… Tsuruga-san. Good luck today,” the hair-dresser said and fled.

Yashiro sighed and walked up to his charge who had yet to move.

“You’re letting Kyoko-chan get the better of you. If this keeps up, it will heavily affect your work.”

Ren’s eyes opened wide and looked at his manager, then he clenched his teeth, his expression grim.

“I know, Yashiro-san. I’m sorry. I’ll get a hold of myself before I leave this room.”

“You better.”

The actor tried. Yashiro could see how hard too, but one brow seemingly refused to straighten out. The manager sighed.

“Look, I understand you’re worried about Kyoko-chan, but the director seemed like he was really giving priority to her safety.”

“It’s not that,” Ren said lowly, his voice near a whisper. “Mogami-san…”

Yashiro’s cell phone cut them off. The manager frowned in irritation and pulled his glove on before picking up the device. However, the name on the screen had him blink in surprise.

“It’s the president.”

The men looked at each other. Nobody in their right mind ignored a call from president Lory Takarada. Yashiro sighed and walked towards the door as he pushed the green phone button.

“Yes? Yashiro here.”

“Yashiro-kun.”

The manager flinched at the dark voice on the other line. The president was in a foul mood. “Y-yes?!”

“Do you know where Mogami-kun is?”

 

* * *

 

One hour. A full hour since they had started looking for Mogami-kun and still no result. No matter who they called the answer was always negative. Negative, negative, negative! Lory was a minute away from pulling his hair out.

Sawara was busy trying to stay calm, but the president’s pacing was straining his nerves.

“President, please sit down and think properly. We’ve already tried calling the authorities of every acting-department of every company. Who have we missed that could know where Kyoko-chan is?”

Lory pulled a hand through his hair, pulling at it to the point of pain. “I don’t know.”

“That’s why I’m asking you to sit down, president.”

Sebastian caught his master’s arm and firmly brought the taller man into a chair. Lory stayed down only because his butler kept a firm and supportive hand on his shoulder.

Irritably the president pulled his phone out and flicked it open. Going through the contact list with furious speed he suddenly stopped, hesitated and scrolled back.

Tsuruga Ren.

Lory almost cursed. He was really desperate if he thought Ren knew where Mogami-kun was.

He scrunched his nose up, deciding against calling Ren directly and instead found the number to Yashiro-kun.

One signal passed. Two signals. Tree…

“Yes? Yashiro here.”

Ren’s manager should thank his lucky star right now. If he hadn’t answered Lory might have gone after him with results better not put to words.

“Yashiro-kun,” the president started, keeping a tight hold on whatever control he had left.

“Y-yes?” a nervous voice answered him.

“Do you know where Mogami-kun is?” ‘You better!’ Lory added silently.

“Eh? Ky-Kyoko-chan? Why?”

“I know who is targeting Mogami-kun and why, and right now she’s in a very risky situation. I must get a hold of her _now_.”

There was a silence on the other line that lasted longer than Lory found comfortable, but it also confirmed that Yashiro-kun and Ren might actually know where Mogami-kun was at.

“We know where she is, president,” Yashiro-kun said hesitatingly and Lory immediately sprung up from his seat before the manager continued. “But we promised the director we wouldn’t tell…”

“To _hell_ with that, where is she?! The culprit is smarter than to do the work herself! Mogami-kun wasn’t poisoned by someone; she took the poison by herself!”

Another long silence.

“She’s here at Jigsaw, in studio four.”

 

* * *

 

Shiva and Kyoko finished their scene, their last argument that drove Aiko over the edge, for the fourth time and waited for the director’s call. Sou hesitated. After this scene there was only one thing left to shoot.

The assisting director leaned in to whisper in his ear. “Director. You can’t delay it forever. Once we shoot it, it will be over.”

That was certainly what Sou wanted, but he had to live through it first.

“Fine.” He looked up at the people waiting for him. “That’s ok. Prepare the next set.”

 

* * *

 

Hoshisawa was in the lodge, having just had the make-up removed and was dressing in her own cloths. The make-up artist packed her things and left, just what Hoshisawa had waited for. She checked so that nobody was heading for the lodge before she closed the door and went straight for Mogami Kyoko’s bag. It was such a simple idea to get some dirt on the fellow actress. Even if there was nothing scandalous in the bag, Hoshisawa was going to place something in it and make sure it was visible.

Her hand closed around a pillbox. Blinking with surprise Hoshisawa took it out. It was just a plain white, normal pillbox. No label or anything. Three pills as plain and white as the box lay inside, round in shape.

‘Some sort of medicine?’ Hoshisawa thought.

The girl considered it for a while. The box had been near the bottom of the bag, but even if she placed it so people could possibly see it, Mogami Kyoko probably had an explanation prepared already. She was stupid in a lot of ways, but not in acting.

Hoshisawa glanced towards the door. She should head back to set now before anybody got suspicious. The director had been edgy enough about knowing where everyone was at.

On impulse she put the pillbox in the pocket of her cardigan and left the room. A thought was forming in her mind. An innocent little mischief. No matter what sort of medicine was in the box it was probably strong and would start to kick in soon after they were done filming, meaning Mogami Kyoko would most likely be very funny in the head when she left for the day.

Just a bit of innocent mischief.

 

* * *

 

Lunch rush. Why did they have to get stuck in the middle of the lunch rush when they were in such a hurry? Lory Takarada wished there was a direct route between the agencies for personnel use only. He was going to write down the proposal and personally hand it straight over to Japan’s president. Lory needed to do something with his hands anyway or he was going to tear the cab apart.

‘Please God,’ he thought desperately. ‘Let me be wrong this one time. Please… _please_ let Mogami-kun be safe.’

 

* * *

 

Kyoko swallowed the placebos. According to the script she should just fall start swaying, eyes going out of focus before she let her breath out and fell to the floor. The problem was she couldn’t act too well. Director Sou jumped and shrieked every time she hit the floor and they were still only rehearsing.

At the fifth try though, Sou finally managed to stay down and call cut, though with a strangled sound. Kyoko had tried to make that kind of sound the first rehearsal, but that had almost given the director a heart attack.

Seeing a movement from the corner of her good eye Kyoko looked up, finding Hoshisawa-san had come back from changing and sat down beside Shiva-san. Had she had that hairstyle before? It looked a little too tightly pulled back in that high bun.

“Okay,” the director called tiredly. “Let’s get this perfect in one take.”

Hoshisawa watched intently. She had taken out the pills from the white box and now had them in her hand. Shiva only glanced at her before she once again concentrated on the star of this movie.

Kyoko glanced into the pillbox with placebos. Director Sou had requested she didn’t eat them, but the assisting director insisted they were two hundred per cent harmless. How things could be two hundred per cent harmless though was beyond Kyoko. There were only a few pills left, and Kyoko had a different problem.

“Um… director?”

“Yes? Are you alright? Do you feel faint? Do you have to sit down and rest for a while?”

“…I need to go to the restroom,” Kyoko mumbled, trying to lean as far away from the director’s face too close up to hers without actually taking a step back.

“Oh. Of course. Take your time.”

This was her chance. “Kyouko-chan, wait!” Hoshisawa called and ran towards the desk where Kyoko had left the box with placebos, open. “You should take these with you.”

“I’ll take care of those!” Sou almost yelled and snatched the box from Hoshisawa’s hand.

“Okay, okay. I just thought you didn’t want anybody but Kyouko-chan touching it.”

The director flinched, but Hoshisawa decided to go back to her seat instead of waiting for an apology. She had to scold her face hard though as it wanted to split in a triumphing smile. She’d done it. The medicine she’d found in Kyouko-chan’s bag was now among the placebos.

One funny Mogami Kyoko going out.

“Did you do something?”

“Huh?”

Shiva Io. Hoshisawa had almost forgotten she was still present too, and she wasn’t someone Hoshisawa was prepared to stick her nose up against.

“You’re trying too hard not to smile. Or rather, you’ve had a glimmer in your eye since you returned from dressing.”

“Shiva-san, please don’t be so suspicious. I only just realized that this was my very last shooting for this movie and suddenly I felt giddy. But right now the director is scared of his own shadow. He’d definitely suspect I was up to something if I started smiling like a fool even when he’s so rude.”

Shiva narrowed her eyes. Normally she wasn’t the kind of person who suspected everybody else guilty of some crime, but Hoshisawa’s behaviour was not normal. The little bitch was giddy her work was over? Anybody else would only heave a deep sigh of relief before they grieved the fact their work was over.

Kyoko came back and Shiva once again concentrated on her, because whether she had done something or not, Hoshisawa couldn’t want to kill Mogami Kyoko. What could she possibly achieve from such a stupid stunt? On the contrary it could ruin everything for her.

Director Sou walked Kyoko to the stage, holding her under the arm.

“All right, Mogami-chan. You must make it perfect in one take because the placebos won’t last for another take. Please, Mogami-chan.”

“Don’t worry, director. I’ll give you a perfect take,” Kyoko promised and smiled reassuringly, trying best she could to ignore the heavy feeling in her stomach.

She didn’t want to quit.

The director opened and closed his mouth a few times, but no words came out. In the end he only nodded and went back to his chair. Mikado ran up to Kyoko for some touch-up on the make-up. When finished he nodded towards Sou and the cameraman turned to the man beside him.

“We’re ready, director. On your call.”

Sou nodded solemnly.

“Scene 104. Take place…”

The camera was already rolling. Mogami-chan was Aiko with her head lowered. The placebos he had seen Kyoko personally put in place only a moment ago and nobody else had been near them. Everything was ready.

“Action.”

 

* * *

 

_Mother. She hates me. She really does. Father said I was the proof of love between him and mother. What am I now? Only a reminder of something painful?_

_“I really am… pitiful.”_

_My bag is on the floor beside my desk. I took them from my grandmother; a box of extra strong sleeping pills._

_My desk. I’ve been doing my homework here for the past few years. The sheet with math problems is still unfinished. It’s due tomorrow. But I’m tired. I’ll just fall asleep._

_The sleeping pills drop into my hand._

 

* * *

 

Kyoko stared at the placebos. Funny. She hadn’t noticed before that they were of different size. Three of them were noticeably bigger. Could she really swallow them all at the same time?

_One pill; your heart will race._

_Two pills; your sight will suffer._

Kyoko closed her hand around the pills, closing her eyes too in a desperate attempt to drown out The Goddess’s voice and remember she was still acting.

_Three pills; you’ll go blind._

In her memory The Goddess put the pills in a line in front of her, smirking widely.

_Four pills; you **may** die._

Tilting her head backwards Kyoko swiftly let the placebos fall into her mouth and rinsed them down with water.

_Five pills; you **will** die._

She almost choked. What was this? It hurt. It felt like the water rapidly turned to soda in her throat. Just like…

Kyoko’s eyes opened wide. It felt just like when she had taken the drugs...

How…?

 

* * *

 

Kirra sat in the shadows of a narrow alley across the street from Jigsaw, dressed in thick layers of dirty cloths and a bottle of beer in hand. A cab stopped, parking sloppily and president Lory Takarada of L.M.E (with assistant) stumbled out before the vehicle had fully stopped moving.

“What do you know; you broke the spell already, Lory Takarada.”

The Black Goddess took a long swallow from her beer can, listening to the voices in Jigsaw’s fourth studio.

“Hey, God. I can’t help but wonder. How do you decide who to save and who to leave?”

When there was no answer, Kirra chuckled at herself. God hadn’t bothered to answer her before, why start now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, this chapter was quite long. And yet it's not the longest... hope you enjoyed reading and please leave a comment or kudos ;)


	27. 30 minutes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me start by saying sorry for the lack of moments to breathe through this chapter. I tried not to write too long scenes...

From the very start of the day Sou had watched over Mogami Kyoko with his heart in his mouth. This far everything was good and well and they were finally in the very last shot for the day. After this he could relax, because the only one scene Kyoko had left to do was only a minute long. Yes, all Sou had to do right now was wait for the actress to fall off the chair and lay still so that he could finally approve the scene and they’d be done for the day. Mogami-chan was doing a good job though Sou noticed now that he forced himself to realize she was only acting. Before he had been so nervous he saw every gasp as a prelude to death.

Shiva frowned in concern and suspiciousness. Kyoko-chan’s act was different from before. She didn’t sway like she was drunk. Rather, her hands trembled and clenched and unclenched, as if trying to grab hold of something.

Kyoko gracelessly fell out of the chair, her arms flailing and hands searching for something to hold on to.

In the director’s chair Sou sighed from relief that it was finally over and opened his mouth to cut the scene.

A strangled sound stopped him.

Kyoko was on the floor, struggling to breathe, hand clawing at her chest, eyes wide and teary from pain and saliva flowing from her open mouth as if she was trying to hurl but couldn’t.

Sou sat frozen in realization.

Hoshisawa Kyoko was confused.

Shiva sprung from her chair.

A loud voice hollered “MOGAMI-KUN!!!”

 

* * *

 

Lory and Sebastian ran through the corridors and staff of Jigsaw towards studio four. L.M.E’s president had a sinking feeling of dread in his stomach that wouldn’t go away. In his mind he kept crying for him not to be late, over and over again like a mantra.

Yashiro suddenly entered Lory’s view and he skidded to a halt.

“Which way is studio four?!” the president demanded.

“This way,” the manager said right away, pointed and ran ahead. After hearing the horrible truth about Kyoko’s poisoning case Yashiro had been cold inside. He hadn’t dared tell Ren about it either, or at least not all of it. All he had been able to tell Ren was that the president knew who was targeting Kyoko-chan. Because Ren had to concentrate on work Yashiro couldn’t share more than that, though if it was for the sake of Ren’s reputation or his heart the manager wasn’t sure.

“We’re here,” the manager called and pointed at the double doors with a big green 4 painted on.

Lory didn’t have time to be careful. He’d been too careful about Kyoko up until now. He barged into the studio and immediately spotted what he had desperately not wanted to see.

He was too late.

“MOGAMI-KUN!!!”

People turned but Lory ignored them all in favour of finally reaching the young actress, scooping her up in his arms only to find Kyoko’s eyes rolling in their sockets as if she couldn’t see. She was shaking and her hands clawed at her throat and chest, alternately clenched and unclenched until one of them found Lory’s cloths, there it fisted in the fabric and desperately held on while her other hand grabbed at her heart.

“Mogami-kun, why…?”

The clasp of a hand hitting flesh tore through the loud pounding of his heart in Lory’s ears and his head whipped around. Shiva Io, actress from Hokkaido, stood with her hand still up over a younger girl that had fallen to the floor, probably from the force of the slap across her face from Shiva.

“Why?! What have you done!? Do you really hate Kyoko-chan so much you have to kill her?!”

Lory’s mind froze.

The girl on the floor held her cheek, her eyes wide from fear and shock. “I… I didn’t… I thought… I just…”

A man from the staff held the older actress back with a hand on her shoulder. “Shiva-san, what…?”

“You!” Shiva growled loudly, still glaring at the girl on the floor. “You placed something in the pillbox! You’re the one who’s been after Kyoko-chan’s life all along!”

“NO! It was a joke! They aren’t mine! I found them in…!”

“THAT CAN WAIT!!!” Lory hollered.

Everyone silenced immediately, and that’s why they all heard the strangled noises coming from Kyoko.

Lory gritted his teeth. “Whatever really happened can wait! Somebody call the ambulance! NOW!”

People came to life, picking out their phones and asking who should call and who should go out to wait for the ambulance to show them in. Lory sat with Kyoko in his arms in the middle of the chaos with Sebastian and Yashiro.

Sebastian took the girl’s free hand and checked her pulse. “Her heart is racing,” he stated, not letting his surprise leak into his voice.

“Is that bad?” Yashiro asked stupidly. Not that he noticed, his head was spinning and he couldn’t really comprehend the situation.

“It could be,” Sebastian answered gently. “If it continues to beat out of control like this she might suffer from a heart attack.”

“Will she die?”

This time there was no answer.

Kyoko gasped feebly, pulling at Lory’s cloths.

“Wha…?” she managed to wheeze out.

“Mogami-kun?!” Lory instinctively shook the girl slightly as if that would take away the fate approaching.

“Drugs…” Kyoko gasped. “Why… I… left…” Her breath was becoming shallower as something stopped her ability to breathe out, only trying to get more air inside the already full lungs. “I… G-goddess…”

Her eyes started to roll back. Lory shook her, patted her cheek, trying to silently will her to stay with him because his mouth was too dry to call her name.

Sebastian firmly held Kyoko’s hand in one of his as his other reached for her throat, fingers pressing against the purplish vein he could see there.

“It’s alright. She’s just falling unconscious,” he stated calmly, hoping he was right. “Her heart is still beating too fast. She’s probably fainting from pain or blood rushing too fast.”

Yashiro just watched. Kyoko-chan was always lively and fun to watch. Yashiro wished more than anything she would be like that now. But now Kyoko laid there in the president’s arms, body twitching every now and again, ‘like a dead…’ he thought but quickly abandoned it, leaving the thought unfinished for the sake of his own sanity. But watching her head fall back as if she really died, Yashiro thought he felt his own heart stop beating. What could Kyoko-chan possibly have done to deserve this?

Sebastian stayed quiet, holding Kyoko’s hand and pressing fingers against her pulse. The girl’s heart didn’t calm down. Even unconscious it raced wildly as if in a hurry to beat for the last time. The thought was disconcerting.

Lory prayed. His mind was too blank to do anything else. He prayed for Kyoko to live right now, live until the ambulance got here. He prayed for her to open her eyes and be fine.

He wished he had gotten here sooner.

The ambulance had finally arrived. Two men with the ambulance symbol on their chest were shown to Lory and they made a quick examination of Kyoko’s state.

Both men’s eyes widened in a second of panic. “We must take her to a hospital right away!”

And so Lory let the young actress go, entrusting her to more knowledgeable people. He asked Sebastian to go with them to keep an eye on the girl and keep him updated. Yashiro was still in utter distress, and there was Ren, and what Shiva Io had said. There was so much Lory wanted to know and even more he wanted to take care of, but he was only one person. First things first though.

“Yashiro-kun. Go back to Ren and tell him to wait for me. I’ll call you for directions when I’m done here.”

The manager could only nod but didn’t move. Lory nudged him gently and the man seemed to snap back into reality.

“What? Ren? Oh, wait…”

“Calm down, Yashiro-kun,” the president said with his deepest, most soothing tone, his hand squeezing Yashiro’s shoulder. “Just go back to Ren and then wait for me to call you.”

Yashiro nodded again, this time more eagerly and left as fast as he could. Now Lory thought he could have turned straight to Shiva-san and ask her what had happened, but a stocky man with wide open eyes and a interesting coloured face, swaying between paper white, blue and purple caught his eye.

He could guess who this was.

“Director.”

The man flinched. That was all reaction Lory got from him, but it was a reaction that confirmed this was indeed director Sou Akira.

“Get a hold of yourself, director.”

Sou blinked his eyes once before they slowly searched for the source of the voice calling through the sound of blood rushing in his ears. A pair of dark eyes looked straight into his, but they couldn’t block out the image of the girl he had tried so hard to protect dying on the floor.

“Mogami-chan…”

The eyes darkened as the solemn eyebrows above them lowered and brought further shadow over the rest of the face Sou couldn’t quite take in.

“Mogami-kun was just taken to the hospital. I thought she was trying to commit suicide in the most dramatic manner she could think of, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. Until I get news from my assistant on Mogami-kun’s faring, will you please help me figure out what really happened here today?”

Sou nodded stiffly, somewhat recovering from his shock.

Satisfied the director was back from wherever his mind had been, Lory turned straight to Shiva Io and the girl whose hands were now captured in Shiva-san’s stronger ones, trying to escape.

Lory purposefully strode over to them. “What happened here?”

“I saw it, president Takarada-san. This little bitch grabbed the pillbox with placebos and I’m sure she dropped something in it. What was it, Hoshisawa?!”

“I don’t know!” the younger girl denied frantically, struggling against Shiva’s hold with all her might.

Lory’s thoughts side-tracked for a second. The name Hoshisawa rung a little bell somewhere, but he didn’t have time to give it any further thought. He grabbed the struggling girl’s chin and turned her face upwards so that she had no choice but to look into his searching eyes.

“What did you do, really?”

The poor girl started crying. “I… I didn’t try… I just…”

“If you didn’t intend to murder Mogami-kun, then what was your intention?”

“Just… I found them in her bag. I thought it was medicine.”

Lory’s eyes grew hard. “So you were looking through Mogami-kun’s things? What were you looking for?”

“Nothing!” the girl protested immediately against the subtle accusation of her being a thief. “I wasn’t going to take anything! It was only a joke!”

Lory took a breath and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to calm himself. His nerves were worn enough from everything that had happened today and this girl wasn’t making it easy on him.

His cell suddenly rang Sebastian’s tune and Lory instantly answered. “Yes?”

_“I’m afraid I have bad news, master. There were paparazzi outside the building, more than one. They’re following us right now.”_

“What!?” Lory growled loudly. Of all bad things that could have happened today! This was the last thing he needed, and according to the background sounds in the mobile Sebastian was still inside the ambulance which meant they hadn’t even reached the hospital yet! Mogami-kun needed immediate treatment and that by professionals. Lory didn’t have enough time to call around and have Mogami-kun moved to a private hospital either!

 _“M…master…”_ Sebastian’s voice suddenly sounded shakily.

Lory’s heart jumped into his mouth. Had Mogami-kun… “What?”

_“The car that followed us just crashed.”_

“Huh?”

_“I can’t tell what really happened, but the car just swayed into the wrong file and another car drove right into it. That’s all I saw before we turned a corner.”_

Lory blinked rapidly. A car accident? What kind of luck was that supposed to be? “Okay. That should keep them busy for a while, hopefully until I’m done here.”

_“Yes, master. I must go. We just arrived at the hospital.”_

“Good. I’ll call you later.”

And so Lory hung up with surprise and confusion still written all over his face.

 

* * *

 

In the alleys outside The Black Goddess smirked in self-satisfaction as she put her cell phone back into her pocket, silently thanking Kyoko’s mother. The money she had collected from Mogami Saena was more than enough to have her worst rivals do her a favour.

“Don’t take it personal, guys, but you shouldn’t stick your noses in my family business,” she said to the paparazzi at the wrong place at the wrong time, dead or alive, whereof none could hear her. “You owe me so much now, Lory Takarada.”

 

* * *

 

Kirill stood stock still in the middle of the hallway, frozen mid-step. Somewhere not too far away there was a chaos of voices. That wasn’t really the reason for his petrified state though. It was the voice that had caused the chaos; Mogami Kyoko, and then the short second of a soft input of Kirra’s voice.

Something really bad had happened.

“Kirill?”

The man jumped at the sudden sound of Yuni behind him.

“Did something happen?” she asked, her blue eyes searching his.

Kirill took a deep breath in attempt to calm his racing heart. “I’m afraid something happened to Mogami at last.”

Yuni’s eyes only saddened. She had been praying, but even so she knew prayers alone didn’t save anyone. “Is she dead?” she asked quietly.

Kirill irresolutely shook his head. “I can’t tell. There’s too much going on and… I can’t explain it. It’s like a hole or something. Usually when a person dies their voice just silences and is gone, but with Mogami… her voice isn’t… gone, at least not like it would normally be, but there’s not really anything there either. What is it?”

The small woman grabbed Kirill’s elbow and her voice was firm when she spoke. “As long as there’s something there it’s a sign Miss Mogami is not lost yet.”

Yuni’s voice was always calming, but with the chaos going on and his defences cracking due to the pressure, not even Yuni’s safe voice and presence could ease the tensions in Kirill’s shoulders.

Sho suddenly rounded a corner and blinked at them. “What are you doing here?”

Kirill suddenly saw a chance. Normally he wouldn’t do anything like this, but if it meant Fuva would actually take action or react at all Kirill found he was prepared to risk a lot.

“Mogami is dead.”

Yuni’s eyes widened, her face paling as she understood even if Kirill spoke Japanese. “What?” she mouthed in both confusion and horror.

Sho just stood there. His eyes had widened just a little but otherwise passive, and Kirill couldn’t hear him. The Japanese star had frozen up from inside out.

“Oh,” was all Sho said, rather absentmindedly, before he slowly moved to walk right past the Russian man.

Krill snapped. “IDI NA HUYI DOLBOEB HEROV!!!”

Sho jumped a mile at the outburst screamed right into his face. He had no idea what the tall man had just yelled at him but judging from Yuni’s startled reaction it was probably nothing good.

Malin came running around the corner behind Sho, eyes wide and asking something in Russian Sho couldn’t understand, Yuni trying to explain and holding the growling and probably cursing Kirill back at the same time. Shoko followed shortly after, asking Sho what had happened.

Then Ivy came along, and after she spoke, everyone silenced.

 

* * *

 

Lory strode out of Jigsaw’s fourth studio with a dark frown on his face he feared was about to become permanent. He had left Hoshisawa Kyoko in Shiva-san’s care to hand over to the police. The young actress had been devastated by this decision and protested wildly, but Lory had been deaf. Later he might see the action as harsh and rushed, but with the stress building inside him until he almost couldn’t think straight, it couldn’t be helped. No matter what, Lory was only one person and could only do so much on his own, no matter power or contacts.

The president pulled his cell out and called Yashiro. Things were going to have to happen faster than he could make them go now. Now that paparazzi had spotted Mogami-kun in the ambulance it wouldn’t take long before they figured out which hospital the girl was at… and the police would be here soon too to pick up Hoshisawa-kun. Media would attack this case like starved dogs and Lory knew too well there was always someone, at least one, who couldn’t keep their mouth shut and in a worst case scenario journalists would flood the hospital Mogami-kun was at, which in turn wouldn’t help the stress. That’s why Lory, as soon as he got word from Sebastian about Mogami-kun’s stabilization (he desperately hoped), had to secretly move her to a private hospital. In the meantime he would talk to Ren about what had happened. The other Love-Me members would have to be informed too.

Getting directions from Ren’s manager, Lory made his way and Yashiro greeted him outside Ren’s lodge room. Ren was there too, and the look in his eyes betrayed him as he smiled.

“Boss. What gives me the honour?” he said lightly jokingly.

“I came to tell you Mogami-kun has been poisoned again.”

Ren’s smiling mask broke. Underneath it was a face of despaired horror. His mouth opened but no sound came out. Lory didn’t give him the time to fully take it in, because there was no time. He hadn’t fixed with his private doctor to take care of Mogami-kun yet and he didn’t know how much time he had before the paparazzi made it impossible to get out of here as unnoticed as he would prefer or worse; started pestering the hospital Mogami-kun was in at the moment.

If he had been smart he would have asked Sebastian to do it but as mentioned before the president was so stressed out it disturbed his normal rational thinking.

“I can’t tell you everything right here and now, Ren, but I believe Mogami-kun needs all the support she can have.”

Ren sat down. “What happened?” he asked quietly.

Lory’s already dark eyes darkened further. “I don’t really know, but it seems fate is playing a cruel game with the poor child. She’s at the hospital as we speak and I’m waiting for a call from my assistant. I will have Mogami-kun moved to a private hospital as soon it’s safe to move her. Please pay her a visit there.”

Ren could only nod. Something cold and heavy had settled in his chest and stomach. He liked to be in control, as long as he was an actor he always had the control over himself and co-workers alike. But Mogami-san was different. He’d never held any sort of control over her and in a lot of ways that was part of her charm. Her mother was the same. Ren had no control over her either and now that lack of control had resulted in chaos.

Why hadn’t Mogami-san’s mother given up the fight? Why had Ren challenged her?

“Ren,” the president’s deep voice interrupted his thoughts. “Don’t let this get to you. I _will_ make sure Mogami-kun comes through this.”

That said, Lory turned to leave, but just when he was about to close the door after him, he remembered something. “Oh, and by the way; I’ve planned a meeting with her mother this evening, I will talk to her then and hopefully we can clear up this mess.”

 

* * *

 

Noda Karin was the name of Lory Takarada’s secretary. She wasn’t your sterotype sexy secretary like some people seemed to imagine her as, but rather a perfectly normal woman in her mid-forties, married to a man and had given birth to four sons. Yet Lory could brag about his secretary, because she did her job to perfection. She had never had any problem carrying out the president’s orders for all the years she had worked for the eccentric man. But today she was facing her career’s greatest challenge yet; to contact Polnoch Sana and order her to a meeting with L.M.E.’s president the same night.

It was more than an hour since the order had been given and Karin had yet to get a hold of the fashion designer for one simple reason;

_“The number you have dialled cannot be reached for the moment. Please try again later.”_

It was unusual to hear the automatic voice of a turned off cell phone instead of a voicemail, and it irked Karin to no end.

After the eighteenth failed attempt at calling the damned woman Karin put her phone down and glared at it, trying to think of a different solution. She had tried to call the company she worked for, four times, but they had only said Polnoch Sana was in a meeting and didn’t want to be disturbed. When Karin had asked if she could leave a message, feeling greatly put off that the question hadn’t been asked to her, she was graced with the answer that Polnoch Sana was too busy and did not want to be disturbed and then they had hung up.

Karin’s glare intensified. What “don’t want to be disturbed”? Who did that woman think she was? Nobody was ever too busy to completely disable the receiving of messages from company high-ups.

Her mind set, Lory’s secretary picked up the phone once again dialling the number to Polnoch Sana’s cell for the last time before she went over there to find the woman in person.

_“Yes, excuse me. This is Polnoch Sana speaking. I don’t have much time though, so I must ask you to make it quick.”_

Who ever said persistance never paid off? Must have been an idiot. “Good day, Polnoch Sana-sama. I am Secretary Noda Karin calling with a message from the president of Lory’s Majestic Entertainment, Lory Takarada-sama. After you finish work today, you are to show up in Lory Takarada-sama’s office by order of the president himself.”

There was a long pause before the voice on the other line spoke up again, this time with a lot of caution rather than the clear fatigue Karin had heard before. _“I beg your pardon? I have to what by order of whom? Is this some sort of joke?”_

“Most definitely not, Polnoch-sama,” Karin answered clearly. She wasn’t usually quite this concisely professional, but the earlier aggravation was taking its toll. “I also feel obligated to inform you the president is in a slightly foul mood and will therefore most likely be impatient by the hour you choose to show up here. Now please tell me when you anticipate to finish work tonight and around what time you can make it to L.M.E and I will personally show you in.”

_“I’m sorry, secretary-san, but I’m at a rather critical stage of planning the next seasonal line of male cloths designing and won’t be off until well after midnight, and I will be very tired by then. I’m afraid I must decline this meeting.”_

‘Oh no you don’t,’ Karin thought, mentally pulling up her sleeves to take up the fight for real. “I am afraid I must refuse you the right to turn this down, Polnoch-sama. Takarada-sama stressed the importance of your visit. He asked me to tell you he knows what is going on between Polnoch-sama’s daughter and yourself, as well as what happened to your sister and fiancé.”

There was a sound of a sharp intake of air in the phone and Karin decided to have a cup of saké in means of celebration once she got home.

On the other line, somewhere else in Tokyo, Mogami Saena stood inside her office on trembling legs. The woman who had called her had just said something utterly horrible; somebody knew what had happened to her sister. Somebody here in Japan knew what had happened to Naum. How? How could anybody here, this close to her, know anything about Naum and what had happened to him? Damn, she didn’t know herself!

Her heart ached. Her whole body felt rigid and weak from the emotions rushing through her and fighting with her struggling voice of reason and sense.

Naum. Her sister. Kyoko.

She had to know.

_“I… I’ll be there.”_

 

* * *

 

It hurt. It was dark. Her heart was pounding so hard she couldn’t breathe. Her head was getting fuzzy too. It felt like she was moving but she couldn’t see. She tried to blink, only to realize her eyes were closed and instead tried to open them, but they were so heavy. Had someone glued her eyelids together? Why was it so dark? Surely, even with her eyes closed some light always filtered through but there was nothing now.

Sounds made it into her consciousness. Or perhaps she had heard them all the time but not noticed. Had she been dreaming? She couldn’t tell. Her chest hurt so much. Her heart pounded faster. Her ribs would soon break under the pressure.

Something moved her. There was a pressure on her shoulder… she thought, or maybe it was her arm. It was hard to tell when the pain demanded so much attention. It was inside her heart, spreading throughout her chest and stinging in her throat. It burnt behind her eyes.

‘I remember… this feeling.’

It was from not so distant a past. Only a week ago she had felt like this, but back then there had been another feeling coating her; loneliness. She had known there was nobody there, and nobody would come if she called out. She hadn’t had anybody to call. All the names that had popped into her head she realized wouldn’t turn if she called out to them.

Now she felt confused. She knew she hadn’t been alone when the pain started. Actually she was quite certain a lot of eyes had been on her, so why had this happened?

How could the drugs have made it into the placebo pillbox?

_“A certain someone wishes hot and desperately that you leave Tokyo and showbiz. I don’t think I have to tell you who.”_

The pain in her chest intensified. That couldn’t be. It couldn’t be. That person had not been around by that time. Actually Kyoko hadn’t seen them in some time.

So how? The director had held onto the pillbox…

The world fell down on her, loud and heavy and cold and she felt like her body and mind all awoke with a sudden start of panic. The noises around her that had been muffled and distant were suddenly so close and loud she thought her head might split if they didn’t stop soon. But the darkness refused to budge. The tightness in her chest got stronger and she couldn’t breathe in or out. Other warm hands grabbed her flailing ones and held them firmly.

“Mogami-san, it’s alright. Look at me. We will help you. Everything will be fine.”

Who was talking? She didn’t recognize the voice. But she had more important things to worry about. She had been in the middle of shooting!

With all the force she could muster at the moment she pressed air up her throat to talk. “How… the… scene?”

A wisp of air slapped lightly against her hot face.

“Mogami-san, can you see me? Can you see anything at all?”

She tried to. She looked for a light, a way out of the darkness, so that she could find someone to talk to and who would understand her desperation.

“Please, Mogami-san, hold on a little longer. We are almost there. We will help you.”

Help her? Could they understand? Did they know?

She wasn’t done yet.

It wasn’t over yet!

 

* * *

 

Sebastian stopped. He was not allowed to go any further as they had finally reached the emergency room. It would grant him some much wanted time to gather his jumbled thoughts and think straight.

What the girl said; how the scene went, was almost disturbing for the butler, the desperation with which she had tried to convey the question was even worse. Why? Mogami-kun was obviously in so much pain and couldn’t even breathe on her own anymore. How could she worry about the scene she had been in at such a time?

Sebastian sighed, an unfitting frown for someone in his position creasing his forehead. He had to call Lory immediately. He had to know what was going on and what could already be said about Mogami-kun’s condition. But that would require him to go outside for a bit. Hopefully it wouldn’t take long and he would be back quickly.

 

* * *

 

President Lory Takarada was striding through the hallways of Jigsaw towards the back exit to avoid further paparazzi attention. People cleared the way for him like frightened bunnies and any greeting was abruptly cut off and ignored. He had managed to call his private doctor, who hadn’t made a fuss and not asked questions. The call had taken twenty seconds flat and had ended with a promise to have a room and transportation ready within the hour. Lory was happy about that. Doctor Kaji was a most efficient person and would keep his promise.

Now if just everything could go as smoothly as that.

His cell phone gave a sweet, melodic chime and Lory haltered in his march. The display showed the name of his secretary. Why? Why was Karin-san calling? Now? He had left her with a mission more than one hour ago. She hadn’t… failed… right? He _had_ to talk to Mogami Saena as soon as possible!

It was with dread as heavy as the earth in his stomach Lory pressed the button and answered.

“Yes, Karin-san.”

 _“Mission completed, Takarada-sama,”_ his secretary’s sharply professional voice answered. _“Polnoch Sana-sama has agreed to meet you in your office after work tonight. She promised she would try to get out early and hoped to arrive at L.M.E no later than 2:30 am.”_

Good news. Lory was so relieved he almost collapsed where he stood. He had to support his weight on his quivering knees as he really lost the strength to stand straight.

“Good. That’s good to hear,” he sighed shakily. “Was she troublesome?” Why had it taken this long? Or was it him who had been difficult to get a hold on? Karin-san rarely sounded this curt. He had been quite all over the place since he left his office actually.

_“Not too bad, president. Pardon me for taking so long to come back to you. Polnoch Sana-sama is a very busy woman.”_

Oh. Mogami-dono had been the difficult one. Lory straightened, regaining most of his dignity.

“Thank you, Karin-san,” he told her sincerely. “You can take a few days off if you’d like.”

_“That would be appreciated, Takarada-sama, but I must decline. How could I leave you alone now when you most need help? I happen to have promised Polnoch Sana-sama to personally show her in tonight. Maybe I could just sleep in a few hours tomorrow?”_

Noda Karin was an angel. God must have sent her to guard and guide him in moments like this. Lory felt how tears of gratitude welled up in his eyes, broke free and fell down his cheeks in rivers. “Karin-san, you are my hero! Thank you so much!”

_“Um… you… you’re welcome… president.”_

“Yes, yes. Of course you can sleep in tomorrow. I trust you with that woman tonight.”

Karin-san’s voice was back to its normal gentle softness when she answered this time. _“Of course, president.”_

Hanging up and using the long sleeve of his Roman philosopher outfit to dab away the tears on his face, Lory promptly ignored the open stares of the people around him and continued on his way with renewed vigour.

He was just reaching the exit, cell in hand ready to call a cab would he not find one in his immediate view, when another call came in.

Sebastian.

Lory didn’t waste time. “Yes?”

_“Master. Mogami-san was just taken to the emergency room. She woke up for a moment just before though.”_

“Did she say anything?”

There was a short pause on the other line. _“She had difficulties to breathe and couldn’t speak very well, but I think she wanted to know how the scene she had been acting went.”_

Lory’s head fell forward as he slapped his forehead; the frown Karin-san’s good news had smoothed out back with full force. Dedication had to have _limits_ dammit!

“Is that all?” he asked.

 _“I wish, master,”_ Sebastian’s voice answered quietly. _“When Mogami-san awoke she kept flailing and her eyes wouldn’t focus or react on anything, light or movement. The doctor suspects she’s gone blind.”_

Lory stood very still, the word slowly digesting in his head. Blind. Of all cruel things to happen to the girl. He pulled a hand over his face. What now?

_“Master. By any chance… would you know with what drug Mogami-san was poisoned? This is the second time if I understand things correctly.”_

The president tried to clear his head from the sorrow he felt. Sebastian was right; this was the second time Mogami-kun had been poisoned. Had the first time been just like this one; a heartless prank of fate? The first time somebody discovered the girl had taken drugs it was Captain Latch of Kioku…

Lory’s thoughts haltered suddenly. “Pardon Sebastian, I didn’t listen. What did you say just now?”

_“I asked if you might know what kind of poison drugs Mogami-san has consumed, master.”_

Although it was Ren who had originally told him about the poison case and Kirra hadn’t said anything, it was Captain Latch of Kioku who had discovered Mogami-kun had been poisoned.

“I believe I do know someone who might know,” he answered his butler’s question at length. “I will have to look further into it,” he added more to himself.

 _“I’m sorry, master, but I’d like to return to wait for Mogami-san now,”_ the butler’s voice sounded on the other line. Lory only nodded before he remembered his butler couldn’t see him.

“Yes, of course. I’ve arranged for Mogami-kun to be moved to a private hospital. I’ll wait for you there.”

_“Yes, sir. Thank you.”_

After the line was broken Lory just stood there for a while with his head resting against his hand supported by the elbow on the wall. Blind. Even if there was a chance to save her, how would Mogami-kun cope with that? No matter how easily she normally adjusted to her situation, this could most possibly mean a serious blow to her. A blow she might not be able to recover from.

The president sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes. Suddenly he realized how tired he was. He hadn’t slept properly for a few days, and all the stress today would definitely take its toll on him soon.

First things first. He had to make it to the private hospital and wait for Sebastian and Mogami-kun to arrive to make sure of the arrangements and ask Doctor Kaji about his opinion.

 

* * *

 

Once again Fuwa Sho found himself sitting nervously on the chair Malin had pushed him down in and wished he could find an opening to dash out the door. He needed to get out. He couldn’t let anyone see him like this. Shoko was here too and Sho definitely didn’t want her to see this side of him. This childishly frightened side of him.

Because Kirill had said Kyoko was dead.

The Russian man was pacing in front of him, cursing under his breath. Sho heard him like over a distance, or like he was under water. Water colder than ice. There was a cold numbness inside of Sho and the only thing he really could feel was the cold pulsing through his veins. His heartbeats sounded loudly in his ears. At least he thought it was his heart beating. It could be the sound of Kilill-san’s feet falling too. Sho wasn’t sure.

Boss Ivy’s voice was clear and solid when she spoke, pushing against Sho’s consciousness and forcing him to listen even though he couldn’t understand what she said. Kilill-san stopped his pacing and Sho heard him breathe heavily.

Yuni walked up to her friend and pushed against his arms, her voice as solid as Ivy’s, a sound that was impossible to hide from.

Kirill stood, feeling Yuni’s hands press against his arms and her presence against his mind. Ivy was there too and she wouldn’t let him lose it. He took another deep breath in hopes to calm his strained nerves and actually talk to the Japanese singer instead of just trying to kill him.

“I am sorry,” he said before he turned to the younger man seated in the middle of the room staring fixatedly at Kirill’s shoes. “I’m sorry, Fuva,” he directed his apology and the younger man looked up. “I lied. Mogami isn’t dead.” He said one more word and Malin turned her head to Sho.

“Yet,” she translated.

“Mogami? Kyoko-chan?” Shoko voiced worriedly. “Sho, what’s this about?”

Malin glanced at Kirill who was taking deep breaths, still needing Yuni’s touch to stay put and pull himself back together. It wasn’t often he snapped, but those times he did it took a long time for him to calm down.

The bassist sighed and turned to Fuwa’s manager looking from one to another for answers. “Ever since we arrived to Japan it seems we have created a connection with a certain Mogami Kyoko. She, however, might not be aware of it.”

Sho looked up, cautiously glancing at Malin though his hair. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked quietly.

“As I’m sure Kirill have told you; he and Ms Mogami are cousins, but the story is kinda …”

“Wh… WHAT!?” Shoko interrupted with a shrill voice and mouth hanging wide open. Her wide eyes quickly trekked to the stiff Russian man, mind reeling. “How?”

Malin raised a sceptical eyebrow at that. “The normal way; two siblings finding a wife/husband, getting married, having kids and poof; we have cousins.”

“That’s not what I meant!” Shoko protested fiercely, jumping from her seat with red-hot cheeks. “I mean… Kilill-san is from Russia. Kyoko-chan is Japanese.”

“No,” Kirill stated flatly and turned his piercing blue eyes on Shoko. “Mogami is half Russian through my uncle. Have you really ever seen a Japanese girl with eyes like Mogami’s?”

Shoko’s mouth opened and closed like a goldfish. It was true that Kyoko-chan had a curious colour of eyes, and perhaps her skin was hinting more to an ivory than olive hue, but other than that Kyoko-chan looked and acted like a modest and well-mannered full-blood Japanese girl. She _couldn’t_ be Russian.

“Enough side-tracking,” Malin said with an edge to her voice. “Kirill, what exactly has happened to Miss Mogami?”

The man inhaled deeply. “I don’t know,” he sighed quietly. “It happened so fast. I heard her scream in surprise from pain, and then fear. Right now her voice is subsiding, but she’s still screaming ‘stop, stop’.”

Sho tried not to listen. Kirill spoke as if Kyoko was dying and Sho didn’t want to hear it, but the Russian man’s voice was like a drill. It bore a hole through Sho’s skull so that the meaning of those words echoed on the inside.

“Kyoko… won’t die…”

A sudden hush fell over the room, but instead of the relief Sho had thought the silence would bring he only felt more anxious. More caught.

“That depends,” Yuni said after Kirill quietly translated for her.

“Huh?”

Yuni’s eyes. Sho knew they were a beautiful blue always reflecting lights from inside and outside alike. Now they were dark and showed only worry.

At that moment Sho whished he didn’t know English at all.

Yuni’s eyes became hard as she made a decision. “From Kirill’s reactions I can tell Miss Mogami is clearly at risk of dying. Her survival depends on her whereabouts and who she’s with; if she’s alone, with someone, on the way to or already at a hospital. Of course, I’m sure you know; if she’s all alone, she’s most likely to die.”

Shoko didn’t like what she heard. Her hand was on Sho’s hunched back and she could feel how he shivered. Sho himself was busy trying not to lose it. His hands were gripping his sleeves so hard his knuckles had turned white.

“Loneliness…” Kirill’s low, nearly rumbling voice rolled through Sho’s trembling bones. “Even if Mogami is treated at the hospital, loneliness is also caused by not knowing the people around. In that case, Mogami is alone right now.” The Russian man turned icy, unforgiving eyes at Sho. “What are you going to do about it?”

 

* * *

 

Sebastian waited outside the emergency room as patiently as he could, catching himself chewing on a nail from time to time. Normally he wasn’t fazed by anything. He had been Lory Takarada’s assistant, butler and friend since his late teenage and had seen almost everything. But this was about a life. A young girl he had talked to, who had smiled and he had watched over from time to time, had fallen victim for poison. He had to be heartless to not feel anxious.

The butler once again caught himself chewing on his thumb nail and immediately tucked the hand in between his arm and body. He really had to stop abusing his nails like that. He tried to return his stance to his normal relaxed pose, but his hands kept twitching unless he fisted them, and that didn’t look good.

It was with disdain he crossed his arms. This pose was really unfitting for a butler, but it allowed his fingers to grip onto his cloths.

“Excuse me.”

Sebastian looked up. A short man stood beside him, discreetly showing at an emblem sewed on the collar of his shirt. The butler recognized it immediately and nodded. This man was from the private hospital Lory went to. If he was here then the preparations of moving Mogami-kun were ready.

It felt strangely reassuring to have someone else wait for the girl, Sebastian found. His back and shoulders relaxed and he could unfold his crossed arms. It felt better not to be alone.

The lamp above the emergency room was turned off and immediately the two men outside stood alert. The surgeon in charge walked out with a deep frown on his face and glanced to Sebastian, quietly waving him over.

“The situation is locked. I can’t do anything at all for the girl before I get back the results on exactly what sort of drugs or poison she has taken. I’m afraid it will take at least an hour before I get the results back.”

One hour. The paparazzi would surely have found their way here during that time and Sebastian didn’t need to be told the consequences of that. “I’m afraid we don’t have time to wait that long, doctor. We will take it from here.”

“But the results…”

“I believe there is someone who has the results already,” Sebastian cut the man off. “Please leave Mogami-kun to us.”

The surgeon didn’t like it. It was clear to see on his face, but if it was from pride or care for his patients Sebastian couldn’t tell, and he couldn’t risk telling him why or where they were taking Mogami-kun.

The short man walked forward with a folded paper in hand which he quietly handed to the medic. “Doctor. Please deliver Mogami-san to the mortuary exit. I have escort ready for her there.”

The doctor cast one glance over the document before he quickly refolded it, handed it back and turned around to fulfil the request.

Sebastian bowed his head quickly in gratitude to the short man. He didn’t ask what the document was about because he knew from the doctor’s face it was either a threat or some sort of blackmailing, most likely the latter, but desperate situations called for harsh methods.

The bed was rolled out of the emergency room at a careful pace to not catch too much attention. Mogami-kun looked pale and her brows were furrowed from the pain she was in.

“Is she sedated?” the butler asked.

“No, passed out,” a light brunette nurse answered quietly, one of her hands resting lightly on the patient’s arm. “Until the drug is identified we can’t give her anything at all since it can easily worsen her condition. The only thing we really could do was to inject the IV.”

Sebastian nodded and then stepped into the farthest corner as they entered the elevator down to the basement where the mortuary was located. Once down Sebastian noticed more people from the private hospital there to take over.

“Thank you. You may leave now,” a young man with grey green eyes said as he stepped forward and the hospital nurses immediately turned back to the elevator, probably having been warned about this by the doctor earlier. The light brunette nurse hesitated though, nervously glancing over her shoulder at the quiet men taking the teenage girl away, and Sebastian felt at least she deserved some sort of reassurance for her genuine concern.

“It’s okay. We’ll save her,” he promised her truthfully.

The nurse looked at him, nervous for more reasons than one, before she seemed to decide she believed Sebastian’s words and hastily ran into the elevator right before the doors closed.

The butler turned to where Mogami-kun was prepared for transportation. The IV was removed and straps were tied around her legs, arms and head. That had Sebastian frowning, something that the young man who had shooed away the nurses noticed immediately.

“It’s only until we reach the car,” he assured.

Sebastian nodded, but still kept a wary eye on things. The men finished their work by covering Mogami’s occasionally twitching body with a white cloth all the way to the top of her head so that only her bare feet were seen.

Lory’s assistant took note of his own clothing. Even though he had removed his headwear he still wore his preferred Egyptian clothing, and realized all the trouble to move Mogami-kun without anyone noticing would be difficult if he came along the way he was dressed. But a butler is always prepared for anything. He stripped from his robes and folded them neatly, standing in a black shirt and slacks.

Carrying his robes over his arm like a coat, Sebastian followed Mogami-kun’s moving bed out the exit, completely ignoring the strange looks the men sent his way.

Outside stood a motor hearse waiting for them. Mogami-kun’s bed was removed from the wheels and carefully placed inside the vehicle, Sebastian agile and wordlessly jumped in after her along with the young man with the green eyes. The doors were quickly shut and the other man glanced at Sebastian.

“My name’s Satoshi.”

“Pleasure to meet you. I am Sebastian,” the butler answered with a slight bow.

The young man nodded and removed the cloth covering Mogami-kun to unstrap her.

She was worse. The girl seemed to have worked up a fever and her breathing was hitched, as if something tried to prevent her from breathing altogether.

Satoshi took the girl’s pulse. “For how long has she been like this?”

“Twenty-two, twenty-five minutes, I think,” the butler answered thoughtfully.

“Has her pulse been this high for all that time?”

Sebastian hadn’t forgotten how hard this girl’s heart had raced after she just took the drugs. He cautiously placed two fingers on the pulse of Kyoko’s neck.

“No,” he said slowly. “It was a little faster and harder before.” He looked at the other man. “Is that a good sign?”

“I can’t tell for sure. We’ll have to wait and see. I don’t know what’s happened to her, but I dare say she will be okay once we place her in Doctor Kaji’s care.”

 

* * *

 

Lory waited impatiently at the mortuary exit of the private hospital with doctor Kaji at his side. He had filled the medic in on all the details he had and now if only Mogami-kun could arrive. Time was slipping away. It was too long, almost thirty minutes since the girl had taken the poison. The only good about that was that if the poison was meant to kill it would have done so already (unless it was a slow progress, but Lory didn’t allow himself to think that thought.) Still, Sebastian’s last report haunted him.

_“The doctor suspects she’s gone blind.”_

Kaji had said nothing when Lory told him about it. Or at least his mouth hadn’t said anything. His face had said more though, and that had caused another stone to settle in Lory’s stomach.

“I know how worried you are, my friend, but brooding will make nothing better,” Doctor Kaji’s gentle voice broke through Lory’s clouded mind and he looked at the doctor by his side. Kaji had dark eyes, one green and one brown, and they held a depth Lory had never dared dive too deep into.

He couldn’t hold the gaze and looked away. “I know that,” he near whispered.

“Then why are you? It’s not very much like you to get this worked up over something. Care to tell me what really happened?”

Lory closed his eyes, trying to force down the feeling of guilt that lay underneath everything else.

“I let her go, Kaji-sensei,” he said at length. “Her mother hadn’t agreed to let Mogami-kun enter showbiz, and I have to follow the rules. Even though I knew from long ago the relationship between Mogami-kun and her mother was cold, when that woman showed up and forced me to shut Mogami-kun out, I did. I even thought it was the only thing I could do.”

Kaji said nothing. It wasn’t his support or advice Lory needed right now; it was an ear to listen to him and a heart to understand him.

Lory sighed as his face distorted in pain. “I’m so ashamed, Kaji-sensei. I preach about love whenever I can get a word in, people even say I know everything about love. The knowledge has made me conceited. Mogami-kun and her mother don’t have a cold relationship, they have a misunderstanding and I didn’t even realize it before today. In fact, I was told of the misunderstanding days ago…”

“ _If I had only_ ,” Kaji cut him off, taking the very words Lory had been about to say out of his mouth. “I believe we had this talk years ago, Lory. Do you remember what I said back then?”

Lory swallowed. Kaji was right; they had had this talk more than twenty years ago. “I remember,” he nodded. “You told me; what’s done is done, now you can only do something about the future.”

“Good, you do remember,” the doctor praised.

Lory had the stray thought that it was a very long time ago since he was praised as if he was a school boy. It felt a little weird. “Thank you,” he said.

The motor hearse they had been waiting for arrived and Kaji stepped forward, hardly noticing Sebastian slipping out of the vehicle, to take a quick look at his new patient’s face.

“Take her to the emergency room immediately. I have called for the results of an earlier poisoning and they should be waiting there right now.”

The men acted quickly and Mogami Kyoko passed by right in front of Lory. She was pale, feverish and covered with a fine sheet of sweat, gasping for breath and grimacing in pain. The image of her face would forever stay in Lory’s mind. Because this was his fault. If only he had realized sooner Mogami-kun wouldn’t have had to suffer like this.

A strong hand squeezed his shoulder and Lory turned to Sebastian, seeing him looking as calm and straightforward as always.

“She will be fine now, master. There is nothing more you can do here.”

Rare. Sebastian had always been sort of blunt, and Lory liked that about him, but it was rare for him to actually say something that could almost be interpreted as an order.

He was right though. All he could do here now was to wait, and he knew he couldn’t wait. He was too impatient, and there was something he had to do.

“Yes. Let’s head back to the agency. We need to clean up for tonight’s meeting.”


	28. Despite the dark before the dawn...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, it seems the drama is ending...

The hallways were empty at this time of night and the lightning was mostly off save for the low energy lamps that were always on for the sake of those who had to pull all-nighters.

Mogami Saena noticed none of this. She felt rigid and was tired, near collapse from the killer pace she’d kept up for the past few weeks now, hoping the knot that was her feelings would somehow loosen. She was on her way to president Lory Takarada’s office in the heels of his secretary, and Saena felt how her legs kept locking. She wanted to run. There was something horrible in the direction she was heading, she knew it.

But if she ran, where would she go?

The secretary opened a door and Saena froze. Her legs refused to take another step even when she tried.

“The president is waiting, Polnoch Sana-sama,” the other woman said evenly when Saena wouldn’t enter the front office.

She tried again, but her legs felt like they were made out of stone.

Karin took in the form of the woman in front of her. Polnoch Sana had for the longest time been the image of fashion itself, the closest to glamorous a designer could probably become. That was not who stood in front of Karin now. She was looking at a woman who had worked too hard for too long and was now heading for her own execution.

“Polnoch-sama,” Karin voiced gently and those fearful eyes lifted to meet hers. “I don’t know why the president wanted to talk to you so desperately, but rest assured he isn’t planning on causing you harm. He is not the type of man who hurts others, intentionally or otherwise.”

It was meek comfort. Saena didn’t feel calmer at all, because this was about her would-have-been husband, her sister… and her daughter too she was sure.

“The president is waiting for you, Polnoch-sama,” the secretary reminded.

Saena nodded her head. “Yes… yes, just… give me a minute.”

Karin waited. In the other woman’s face she could see how she battled with herself, probably trying to remember why she agreed to come here in the first place.

It was slow, one hesitant step at a time, that Saena finally entered the door, only to find yet another distance to close to the next door. But she had already gotten this far, and she heard how the door behind her closed with a soft click.

There was no turning back. There was nothing to turn back to anyway.

Saena followed the secretary once again. She knew she was defeated. She’d been defeated for a long, long time.

“Excuse me Takarada-sama. Polnoch Sana-sama is here.”

“Thank you, Karin-san. Show her inside.”

Saena lifted her gaze, straightened her back and faced a tall man who looked just like her; worn down by stress.

“I’m glad you could come, Mogami-dono,” the president said with a weary tone in his deep voice. He motioned to a bowl of fruit as an invitation, but Saena declined by holding up her hand.

“I would assume you haven’t called me out for small talk, president.”

“Of course not,” the man nodded matter-of-factly as he sat down on one of the couches. “I was actually hoping you could cast some light on the situation for me. First; where is Lastotjka Naum?”

Saena flinched visibly and closed her eyes. “I don’t know,” she answered quietly. “In Russia I suppose, happily married and have some children.”

“So you think Mogami-kun has a couple of half siblings?”

“I wouldn’t know,” Saena retorted hotly. She didn’t like this questioning. This man had said he knew something about Naum and she had thought she wanted to know. This was not what she wanted! “I haven’t heard from him for years. The last letter he ever sent to me was blank. How do you think I interpreted that when the daughter I had with him was pulling at my sleeve?!”

The president just looked at her with those worn eyes. To Saena it looked like he suffered when he finally looked away and silently lightened a cigar.

“Naum-san isn’t in Russia,” he said at length, speaking slowly as if breaking the news was painful. “Nor is he married and don’t have other children.” He breathed out smoke, watching it swirl in the air in front of his face. “He’s dead.”

For a long time Saena stood perfectly still. Her mind was blank. The only change inside of her was a sound from her heart as something broke inside it.

It was with great care she took the last few steps towards the couch opposite of the president and lowered herself down on it. She’d already cried her heart out after losing Naum, more than once. Now she only felt numb.

Lory watched her quietly. Now that the woman sat in front of him, unveiled by all the things that had made him wish he never met her, he felt ashamed. This was a woman like any other, only love hadn’t worked out well for her and had left her cold and bitter. Just like her daughter.

“What happened?” Saena whispered.

“I’m not sure about the details myself, I’m afraid. Just like you already know your sister was mistaken for you. The fans had only heard Naum-san had been claimed by a Japanese woman.” Lory paused, unsure. He had spent so much time reaching for the memories that had been blocked from his mid, he had nearly forgotten about the details from before his mind grew foggy. Kirra-san had told him something horrible. “They… Naum-san’s fans… were provoked.”

They sat in silence. Lory wondered if it was really worth it to tell this woman the whole truth. The cruelty of it was almost too much for his heart, how hard mustn’t it be for her?

“I know that,” Saena near whispered, causing Lory to look at her.

“Know what?” he asked.

Saena swallowed and lowered her head further, hoping the president wouldn’t be able to see her face. “When Naum took me back to the airport after the incident he was angry and in shock. He told me... his fans had been yelling about blackmailing and that they would free Naum from the devil woman’s evil schemes.” She paused, watching her hands clenching the fabric of her skirt. When she spoke again her voice sounded resigned. “It was his mother, wasn’t it? The one who provoked those women to kill my sister.”

Lory breathed out smoke. Now that Saena mentioned it, he could recall Kirra had indeed said that. “So I’ve heard,” he confessed. “Naum-san told you?”

The woman shook her head negative. “I figured it out. Naum told me his mother was… possessive… I think.”

“Possessive?” Lory pressed. “Didn’t he mean protective?”

“No, I asked him about it too,” Saena sighed deeply. “I met her briefly on the airport when I arrived in Russia. She reminded me of the evil queen from Snow White; tall, intimidating and green-eyed from jealousy.”

Lory held back a smile. A reference from a fairy tale? Maybe the apple hadn’t fallen that far from the tree after all.

Saena didn’t notice Lory’s reaction and only continued. “She wasn’t very happy to see me. Actually I think she tried to verbally abuse me, but I only knew a few words in Russian so I don’t know for sure. Naum reacted really violently though, and they ended up having a…” she shrugged and shook her head slightly as she looked for the word, “fallout, I suppose. I didn’t understand what they were saying, but from that woman’s tone and Naum’s expression I could tell she threatened him.” She closed her eyes and her voice became very soft. “That’s why Naum asked me to stay in the hotel room and not go out or answer the door.”

The president nodded slowly. What had happened about eighteen years ago was clear now. He decided against asking about the letters this woman had mentioned. Kirra-san had said something about it too… perhaps… or not… he wasn’t sure.

“I see,” he said instead and shook himself out of trying to remember something now that hadn’t come to him for the past few days. “My next question; where is your daughter right now?”

Saena sat up straight, eyes wide and body rigid. “In Kyoto,” she answered, just barely managing to avoid sounding it like a question. “She left weeks ago.”

“Really?” Lory said with raised eyebrows. “I didn’t know that. Who told you?”

“I…” the woman started, but hesitated. “I got a notice…” She stared at the president with wild eyes, dread filling her voice when she spoke again. “Where is my daughter?”

The president quietly tapped his cigar against the ashtray, choosing his words carefully. “A few days ago I had a Russian woman here on a short visit; Lastotjka Kirra.”

Confusion mixed with every other emotion battling for domination on Saena’s face.

“She’s Naum-san’s niece,” Lory continued calmly. “She told me what she knew about the situation, and shared that she had given Mogami-kun poison drugs.”

The woman flinched. “Where is my daughter?” she asked again, her voice low but demand sneaking into her tone.

“In a moment, Mogami-dono. Kirra-san is a very tricky person and she managed to drug me in the sneakiest way I’ve ever encountered. I can’t remember half of what she told me, and then she didn’t say a lot to begin with. Only today I managed to piece together the most important parts of the conversation I can recall.”

Saena didn’t respond, her eyes not for a second flickering away from the president’s gaze. She’d already asked what she wanted to know twice, and Lory realized she wouldn’t react to the bait he’d laid out before her. He had thought he could pull a confession out of this woman by being sneaky, on the other hand, this was a Mogami, and the younger one was a very straightforward kind of person.

“When you realized Mogami-kun had entered showbiz without your permission, you instantly thought of what happened to your sister and to Naum-san, and you panicked. You desperately wished to protect your daughter from the fate that befell your sister, but you couldn’t think straight and so took a drastic decision. Now your wish to protect Mogami-kun has backlashed and hurt her further instead.

Lory watched Saena’s face. There was no denial on her features. Only grief… and regret. Still she wouldn’t look away.

“Where?” she asked again. “Where is Kyoko?”

The president sucked on his cigar and breathed out. “She took the poison drugs by accident while filming today and was taken to a private hospital. Only two hours ago I got a call that she had finally left the emergency room but she will have constant supervision during the night. The doctor is positive she will live though. The amount of poison was only just not high enough to kill the child. The drug was some sort caffeine mix that sent Mogami-kun’s heart into shock. She was lucky the dose wasn’t a milligram higher.”

Saena’s eyes were even wider now and her lip trembled as she opened and closed her mouth, trying to speak, grimacing in pain and indecision. “That’s… not… what I wanted…” she choked, and a lonely tear fell down her cheek. “I… Kyoko…” she closed her eyes tightly in vain attempt of keeping the burning tears from falling, hand lifting to cover her mouth before wiping at the tears. “She has his eyes,” she voiced, a sound somewhere between a sob and a groan. “Naum is looking at me through Kyoko’s eyes. It hurts too much to see him there when I know he’s gone. I knew he wouldn’t come back to me but he keeps staring at me. I didn’t know… what to do.”

Lory looked sadly at her. He had a suggestion of a solution in mind, but he didn’t know if he should dare propose it before he knew for sure if Kyoko had really gone blind or if it had only been a temporary effect of the poison. At the same time it was probably too early yet for him to interfere more than he already had. Mogami-kun’s problem; not believing in love and rejecting it instead, was caused by her mother too.

“I think it’s time you explain yourself to Mogami-kun,” he said gently. “She is hurting as much as you, only she doesn’t know why. I don’t doubt she’s been trying all her life to get you to look at her. She is a child after all.”

Saena swallowed, and then only nodded when her voice couldn’t get past the lump in her throat. She remembered when she had visited the Fuwas last year she had asked about Kyoko, how she had been while she was gone. They had only said she had gone with Sho when he ran away from home and started working on his ridiculous dream to become a star. Their own son was all they had talked about. Saena had left Kyoko in their care with the thought she would be happy… or at least happier with them. After all, they had willingly taken care of her when Saena still lived in Kyoto.

Nothing had turned out the way she had wished them to.

“Will that be all, Takarada-san?” she asked quietly.

“Yes. For now,” the president nodded, putting his finished cigar out while his assistant came forward on silent feet and placed a card on the table in front of Saena. “This is the address to the hospital Mogami-kun is at. Visiting hours is from lunch to early afternoon.”

“That’s not an easy time to visit her,” the mother whispered.

“No, but it’s the only time Dr. Kaji could set aside for her since the night personal rather concentrate fully on the sleeping patients than mind worried relatives,” Lory explained.

Saena nodded. She could understand the reasoning, but she was so tired. For the first time in weeks she wished she could have time to rest.

“Thank you, president,” she said lowly and stood, or tried to, her knees were so shaky she fell back down on the first try. On the second attempt she managed to get up but wobbled so dangerously Lory took the liberty to grab her arm to steady her.

“I’ll call a cab for you,” he said, his tone indicating it was not a suggestion.

Saena nodded. She too realized she was in no condition of making it home on her own and was actually happy for the president’s hand holding her up. She needed a few minutes to collect her scattered mind and hopefully get back some control of her knees, at the same time she couldn’t stay in this suddenly stuffy room another second. The president’s presence was suffocating. She had to get out.

 _To where?_ her mind mockingly asked her.

Sebastian, the one doing the calling, returned and offered the unsteady woman his arm to hold onto. Lory didn’t say a word when Saena was too happy to accept the offered arm and stumbled over her own feet in her hurry to get away from him. Sebastian followed his master’s example and simply walked the woman away from the office, down the hallways and out the back doors of the building. The taxi was already waiting, a tall driver standing on the driver’s side leaning over it, resting his arms and chin on the car’s roof, an ugly, yellow cap covering almost all of his face. The moment he locked his shaded eyes with Sebastian and saw the state of the woman on his arm, he pushed himself away from the vehicle and moved around it to open the door, no questions asked.

“I’ll pay you,” Lory’s assistant told the driver quietly after the door was closed behind the woman.

“Didn’t tell me where she’s goin’,” the driver muttered back and Sebastian almost haltered at the odd accent he had, but then he quickly fished up a few bills and handed them to the driver. As expected the driver looked at the bills, counted their value and then wordlessly snatched them out of the butler’s hand.

Saena was still fumbling a bit with the seatbelt when the driver closed the door after himself and turned to her. “Where to?”

She bit her lip and glared at her shaking hands. This had to stop. She had no time to just sit around and tremble like a child.

Grabbing the belt with all her might she decisively buckled herself up and fished out a card with her address from her purse.

The car started moving and smoothly joined the earliest morning drivers. The woman in the backseat leaned back and closed her eyes.

“You look like your world is crumbling,” a familiar voice suddenly spoke and Saena jerked awake from her almost slumber, flailing a bit before she looked around. She was still in the backseat of the taxi, alone. The only other person inside the car was the driver.

Their eyes met in the rear view mirror, and Saena’s chest clenched with horror.

“You...”

The driver removed the yellow cap, revealing the blond roots of an otherwise dark mop of hair. “You should feel honoured I’m taking the time to come see you. Normally I never contact my customers directly.”

Saena shook, trembled from head to toe. It was her. This was... this was the woman she... why? How could she? How could she have been so stupid? She should have known. What happened to Kyoko; it wasn’t an accident or attempted murder. It was...

“Your face looks really interesting right now,” the female driver smirked as she stopped at a red light.

“Why?” Saena breathed. “Why are you here? What did you do to Kyoko?! This isn’t what I asked for!”

Those green eyes penetrated her through the rear view mirror, and the Japanese woman was happy she wasn’t face to face with the assassin.

“What you asked for,” Kirra drawled, “was to get your daughter out of showbiz. She is as stubborn as you are and you were afraid your threats wouldn’t be enough, that’s why you came to me the first time. The second time you knew the girl wouldn’t give in to your wish due to great support from within the company.” The light turned green and the car moved forward again. “To me you said ‘she is my daughter. Get her out of showbiz, screw how, just make sure she will never come back to it’, and you even paid me two million yen for the favour. However,” she blinked right and turned smoothly, “you failed to tell me why you wanted this so badly.”

Saena sat silent in the backseat. Even in hindsight it was hard to determine exactly when the mistakes had started, but it had come to a point where they couldn’t even be counted. Everything that had been wrong before was now horrendously twisted. And it was her fault. Because from the very beginning she hadn’t been able to control anything, and now... why was she still wondering what to do? Everything she did only made things worse.

“You look like your world is crumbling.”

The designer shook her lowered head. “No. My world crumbled into dust the moment my sister was killed.”

“So it would seem,” the driver replied lightly as she stopped for another red light. “But you still haven’t told me why you were so desperate to get the girl out of showbiz.”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Saena croaked, tears streaming down her face as she glared at the calm green eyes in the mirror. “Naum was an actor and my sister was killed by his fans because they loved him. In a world where you must be fully visible, where you must make people love you... Kyoko has gotten close to Tsuruga Ren, and I saw Tsuruga’s fans attack my daughter! If I hadn’t stepped in she could have been killed just like sister! The spotlight blinds people! Tsuruga refused to understand that his closeness to Kyoko could possibly hurt her!”

The car was silent for a moment, moving smoothly through the traffic as Saena cried as quietly as she could.

“It wasn’t...” she sobbed. “This isn’t how it was supposed to be. Why? Why is Kyoko...?”

Kirra had arrived at their destination and parked the taxi. “I’m not the one who’s hurt her,” she stated calmly but firmly. “You said you wanted to make sure the girl wouldn’t return to showbiz, that’s what you paid for and what I’ve done. But you should know; I told the girl all about it.”

Saena’s face looked up, sickly white and eyes wider than should be possible. “You... what?”

The woman in the driver’s seat turned and looked over her shoulder, smirking. “I told her what you wanted when I gave her the poison-drugs, I even told her what they were and what they would do to her.”

Saena’s reeling mind slowly silenced. “You... did? Then... why is she...?”

The Black Goddess shrugged indifferently. “One thing leads to another, as per usual. Mankind is good at believing we are the ones who run the world and control the things that happen. But me, I do believe there is some sort of outer force, call it God or whatever, who runs the world behind our backs.” When the woman in the backseat only stared blankly Kirra’s smirk widened and she turned further, resting her arms on the separating wall between driver and passenger. “The case with Kyoko-chan is as near the proof of my theory as can be; I gave her five pills that would definitely kill her. But you know; something happened. While she ran around looking for some evidence that it was okay for her to stay where she was, that there were people who supported her, in the midst of that she was saved from a certain death in the most unpredictable way.”

Saena blinked rapidly. “Saved?” she parroted hoarsely.

The Black Goddess’s green eyes almost glowed with excitement. “Her best friend asked her to die,” she whispered, smirk wider than ever. “That night she took two pills before pain and fear stopped her. Her body had already been cleansed from the poison by the time she took the remaining three pills today. Mogami Kyoko was never at risk of dying.”

In the backseat Kyoko’s mother slumped, absolutely drained. Kyoko... her daughter was...? “Is she... going to be... alright?”

“She’ll recover. The caffeine poisoning will be fully cured within the week, the blindness however might take a little longer since eyesight is very sensitive and takes a lot of time to heal, but it should be a relief to know it’s only temporary.”

Saena nodded breathlessly. The Black Goddess was right; there must be some outer force controlling the flow of the world behind their backs. But if that was true, then why...?

“Why is Naum dead?”

The green-eyed woman’s smirk slowly turned into a frown. “Because he never received your letters,” she answered darkly. “Because you sent them to his mother’s address.” Kirra studied her customer in the dim light of the early morning. “I suppose,” she added generously, “that in order to save a life, another must be sacrificed.”

 

* * *

 

It was morning and Doctor Kaji wiped his brow with the back of his hand. He was exhausted. It was at times like these he felt all the fifty-eight years that was the length of his life ache in his bones. He had even promised his wife a while ago not to do all-nighters anymore. And here he was breaking that promise, after a call to his wife to tell her he would have to stay at the hospital all night. She had been angry at first, but when he explained why; a murder attempt on a teenage girl, she hadn’t said anything.

But even doctors are humans with human needs, and in the morning Doctor Kaji couldn’t wait another minute; he needed to leave the girl’s side and go to the bathroom. Oh the relief of emptying the bladder. It eased so much of the tension in his body.

When he returned to Mogami-san’s room, her eyes were wide blinking open.

“Mogami-san?” he spoke gently. Her eyes moved, searched, but it seemed she couldn’t find him. “Good morning,” he continued as he stepped up to the girl’s side.

“Morning?” she questioned, voice hoarse from dryness.

“Yes,” the doctor confirmed simply as he poured the girl a glass of water.

“Why is it so dark?”

Kaji paused. So it was true; Sebastian-san’s suspicion the girl had gone blind. He sighed lightly. The caffeine and narcotic in the girl’s system had been easy enough to identify, but not the poison. The blood samples were still in the lab but it would probably take a week before they got any results back. Because the number of poisons that affected sight was... well, closer to all than none.

“It is not dark, Mogami-san,” the doctor informed gently. “You got a case of serious caffeine poisoning yesterday and was taken here to this hospital. From what I learned it wasn’t intentional on your part, but the caffeine was not clean, so I’m afraid that poison has caused you blindness.”

The girl on the bed lay still for a moment, eyes still searching for light they couldn’t find.

“Oh,” she voiced quietly after a while, as if she should have realized that without asking. Kaji frowned a bit, finding his patient’s lack of surprise worrisome, until she continued. “How? I didn’t take them...”

“Pardon? Mogami-san I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

The girl turned her head and stared blindly at the roof. The sun peeked out from behind a cloud and hit Kyoko straight in the eye without her notice. But blind or not, the sun can still cause strain on the eye and the girl blinked and reached up to rub the sting she probably felt. Kaji absentmindedly reached out and pulled the curtains close.

“The drugs,” Kyoko clarified. “They... They were among the placebos. I didn’t... I was going to give them back. So how?”

The doctor nodded to himself, both shocked and understanding. Of course Lory had already told him how the poisoning had happened, but... Mogami-san indicated she was the original owner of them. And giving them back?

“Mogami-san... those drugs. Do you know what they were? What they contented?”

She blinked slowly. “Not really.”

“No? You just said you intended to ‘give them back’. Give them back to whom?”

The image of a woman in her room entered Kyoko’s mind.

_“Good evening, Mogami-san.”_

She made a face and turned her head away from where she thought the doctor stood (at least she thought he was a doctor, he had mentioned she was at the hospital). Those had been a couple of days she’d rather not have lived through. Everything had gone wrong. Her mother had resigned her from school, _Dark Moon_ had finished so she’d lost Mio, she’d lost her job as Bou without notification, and, of course, she’d been attacked by Tsuruga-san’s fans. Then it hadn’t been bad enough to end a day getting into a fight with the president, yelling at him and getting slapped by him. When she got home... Kirra had been there.

_“I’m just a messenger today, jou-san. From your mother.”_

Oh yeah. The perfect end to a perfect couple of days.

Kaji slumped slightly as he realized his patient wasn’t going to say anything. Teenagers were never easy to handle after they’d gone and done something, and the more obstruct they acted the less they should be pressed. At least Kaji’s wife was convinced it was the correct way to handle teenagers, but whether it was true or not didn’t really matter in this case.

“Fine,” he answered calmly to the back of the girl’s head. “But you knew what they were? You could identify them as drugs once they were in your mouth?”

 Kyoko was silent for a moment. “Yes,” she answered slowly. There was no meaning in denying it. She’d already given herself away. “I took them once before.”

“Oh?” Kaji voiced, trying not to put in too much interest in his tone. “And what happened? Did you need medical help afterwards?”

This guy asked too many questions Kyoko thought in a fit of sudden annoyance.

“Who are you?” she asked back.

Kaji, slightly taken aback by the sudden bark, cleared his throat and realized he’d never gotten to introducing himself to this girl. “Forgive me, Mogami-san,” he apologized. “My name is Kurosawa Kaji, 58 years old; I am a doctor at this private hospital. You were taken to me acute yesterday afternoon. Lory Takarada was very worried about your wellbeing.”

The girl’s eyes looked for him. “The president?”

“Yes,” Kaji confirmed. “He put himself up as contact person before he left. You too will probably be happy to know you’ll be back to health before you know it. While the caffeine poisoning was quite serious and I suggest you take it easy, I dare say you’ll be out of here after only a few days, on the condition you’re not a drug addict of course,” he added jokingly.

Kyoko only nodded, feeling rather overwhelmed. She needed some time to digest this information.

“I’ll be watching over you during your stay,” doctor Kaji said in a gentle tone. “I’ll let you accept visitors tomorrow. Today, please rest as much as possible while I look for someone who can help you get adjusted to the blindness. I’ll send a nurse with your lunch and she’ll help you take a little walk.”

The girl nodded again, and Kaji reached out a hand and reassuringly patted her shoulder. She jerked a little from surprise at the touch and grabbed his hand, until she realized it was a hand and let go again with an apology.

“Try to sleep,” the doctor suggested and left.

But Kyoko couldn’t sleep. Instead she found herself thinking. So much had happened, ever since her mother showed up and turned both her life and her career upside down and torn it apart. She had even...

_“Your mother is a wayward woman. Life hasn’t treated her well, and you are like her bane; the reason why she’s hurting so much.”_

Kirra’s words cut deep into Kyoko’s heart once again. The drugs. The reason she was at a hospital now. Why? Why had her mother been so against the idea of Kyoko working as an actress? So against it that if she didn’t leave it willingly she had to die.

But Kyoko had been happy. Sure, there were many hardships, the road to fame was a very bumpy one for her, but she had been happy working to fulfil her dream. For each new character she acted out she felt a little more alive. Now it was over. Just like that, and Kyoko wondered if she had really been as empty before she entered showbiz and never noticed, or if this was the void of knowing how she wanted to live and wasn’t allowed to. Because Kyoko realized she really had no way to return to showbiz even if she wanted. In front of her eyes she could only see darkness, even though the doctor had said it wasn’t dark; it was morning.

A blind person couldn’t be an actress.

 

* * *

 

The actor Tsuruga Ren hadn’t slept well. All night, or rather, ever since he got the news Kyoko had been poisoned, again, the girl’s mother’s voice had echoed in his head and guilt ate away on his insides. Kyoko’s mother had been right. She’d known exactly what she was talking about, and Ren, proud as he was, had refused to listen.

_“Don’t you know how wanted you are?! Jealousy is a curse that can kill!”_

...no. He hadn’t been aware of that. He thought he had because he had seen the numbers, but it wasn’t the same when numbers transformed into actual people. Kyoko had been attacked because of him and he had admitted it in front of Kyoko’s mother... but he hadn’t been honest. He hadn’t thought it was fully his fault and had refused to think about it since. He had thought he could protect Mogami-san if he only was more alert, looked out for her more. But...

_“Tsuruga Ren isn’t even the real you and still you claim you will protect my daughter? She doesn’t even know you’re lying to her, does she?”_

She’d been right. Mogami-san had found out Ren had lied to her and hadn’t spoken to him since.

_“I’m not a toy! Don’t use me for entertainment! Why is it so enjoyable to make fun of me?!!”_

Ren cringed inwards. He could deny he was anything like Fuwa Sho as Kyoko had claimed, but it didn’t change the fact that was the way she saw things. Kyoko had fully believed Corn was a fairy and that had appeared to be a source of strength and inspiration to her. It probably looked even more beautiful in her memories than it was in Ren’s. But Fuwa had lied so he could use Kyoko at will. Ren hadn’t lied to hurt her. That day by the pond in Kyoto, the little girl who stepped out of the bushes had been crying until she saw him.

_“Are you... a fairy?”_

Usually when Ren remembered Kyoko-chan’s question he would smile, but suddenly the meaning behind the memory had changed and he only felt a knife twisting in his heart. If only he hadn’t lied at that time. But... would she have smiled if he hadn’t? Would her eyes have lit up the way they had if she heard that no; he wasn’t a fairy. Just a human boy who wanted nothing but get away from everything he was.

Thinking back now, Ren knew why he had lied. That little girl had offered him the relief from his own life he so desperately had sought. Entering her sweet fairy tale world he could easily forget everything else and Corn had loved her for it. The summer they had spent together had saved him at the time.

How come that he had only brought more pain on that little girl when she needed him the most?

Ren sat up in his bed. It was almost time to get up anyway and he wouldn’t get any sleep even if he tried again. There was always a chance to get some shuteye on the sets, even if it wasn’t a lot. More importantly however was that he went to see Mogami-san. He didn’t know if it was a good idea or not, but he owned her an explanation. He owed her an apology however weak and futile it was. He owed her a lot.

Getting dressed, grabbing a bottle of water and grabbing his keys Ren was out the door and on the way to his car. Hopefully he could get in touch with the president later tonight to get some news on Mogami-san.

 

* * *

 

Of all the members of The Dead Saints, Malin was the one who spoke Japanese most fluently, and thus she had even volunteered to take half a day or something off work to find the hospital Miss Mogami was at. Though Kirill had been clearly upset with Fuwa he had still managed to pinpoint the area where he believed the girl was at. And so Malin was at the moment busy asking her way around to find the bloody hospital. The Japanese people never gave straight answers and it sometimes took a while for the bassist to pull it out of them they didn’t know what hospital she wanted to find.

Malin sighed deeply in irritation and slight desperation. This was a mission she couldn’t just give up on, but she felt like she had spoken to a hundred people already and none of them seemed to know there even was a hospital in this district. She had the map with her too and had confirmed she was in the right area. How could it be so hard to find a hospital here? She’d walked up and down the same streets for hours already and hadn’t found anything herself, and she had kept her eyes out for anything that looked even remotely like a hospital.

Deciding to change her strategy about asking people she met, Malin entered a small tea shop for a cup of calming refreshments and hopefully the old lady behind the counter knew something.

“You young people are so stressed these days,” the old lady sighed after Malin had asked for something calming. “What is the hurry about? We won’t gain any extra time if we run around like headless chickens. If you take it easy you will still get there, the difference is you won't be exhausted.”

Malin smiled. Old People’s Words of Wisdom. Couldn’t really argue that.

“I’ll keep that in mind, obaa-san,” she said and accepted the steaming cup. It smelled heavenly. “It’s just. A friend of mine, she’s an actress, there was an accident, and she was rushed to a hospital last night. I was told she was taken to this district and this area, but I can’t find where she was taken and thus I can’t find _her_.”

The old woman listened keenly. “That’s terrible,” she said quietly. “And you’re sure she was taken to around here?”

Malin’s heart sank, but she still picked up the map from her purse and showed her the circle Kirill had drawn around the area she right now was around the edges of. The old woman picked up a pair of reading glasses and studied the map for a moment.

“There is no hospital or care centre here...” she said slowly and Malin positively slumped. She’d never find the girl like this.

The old woman however was looking distantly at the wall in thought. She glanced at the map again. “Well...” she drawled and the Egyptian woman looked up from sipping her tea. “You say your friend is an actress?”

Nodding her head, Malin silently started to pray this old woman would actually know something. Anything was good news at this point.

“The one who drew this circle must have been a little off. See, there is this private hospital right here,” the old woman pointed on the map two blocks outside the circle. “Could that be the place you’re looking for?”

A private hospital. Oh yes, that sounded exactly like the place. “It could be,” Malin nodded. “Thank you. I will go look for my friend there. As soon as I’ve finished tea. This is truly wonderful tea.”

The old woman smiled proudly. “That’s right. No need to hurry.”

 

* * *

 

The problem with private hospitals is the security. Sure, Malin had managed to come inside, but the receptionist was clamming up worse than an actual clam. She pretended she just didn’t know anything.

“Fine,” Malin said at last. “So what do you suggest I do then? My friend’s been poisoned and almost died and I want to know whether she’s alive or not because I’m worried sick.”

“I’m sorry I can’t help you,” the receptionist said stiffly.

“I’m starting to doubt you’re sorry,” Malin hissed. “If you were truly sorry I believe you’d try to do something to help me.”

“I can’t help you,” the receptionist said again. “If you were family, then maybe I could have helped you.”

“Family huh?” Malin straightened, eyes hard and she crossed her arms before she held up her hand to count off on her fingers. “Mogami-san has no siblings, her father committed suicide before she was even born and her mother is the cause of the poisoning. She has a cousin though but he’s definitely not in a state to search through half a district for hours for a bloody hospital that _doesn’t want to help_.”

The bassist glared straight into the receptionist’s eyes, who refused to show emotion on her face, but it took a while for her to trust her voice enough to answer.

“I’m sorry, miss. Because you’re not family, I can’t help you.”

“You can’t even hear me,” Malin snarled. “Why don’t you just admit it; this isn’t a hospital, it’s a butchery that cuts up and sell the pieces of the people who come here for treatment.”

The receptionist’s eyes widened and she stood from her chair. “Take it back right now.”

“Sure, when you prove me wrong.”

“I can’t do that!”

“Because I’m right!”

“What’s going on here?”

The women turned to where the interrupting voice had come from. Beside the desk separating them stood an old man with his white coat over his arm and name tag on his chest.

“Doctor Kaji, this woman...”

“Is looking for her friend who was poisoned last night and _this_ woman,” Malin waved her arm towards the receptionist “refuses to share whether she’s here or not!”

“I strictly follow the security...!”

“Ladies!” the doctor cut them off and the women silenced. Malin was a little surprised at the authority in the man’s voice and eyes as he turned to her. “Now, miss, what can we do for you?”

“I only want to know one thing,” Malin answered truthfully, breathing deeply. “My name is Malin Connor and I’m friends with a girl named Mogami Kyoko. Last night she was poisoned and I think she was taken here. All I want to know is if she’s alive or not.”

The doctor nodded in understanding, seeing the stress written over this young woman’s face. “She is here,” he confirmed. “And she is fine. Everything is going to be all right.”

Relief is sometimes a funny feeling. It makes you happy, and at the same time it robs you of the strength that has had you going for a whole day. Malin fell to her knees, buried her face in her hands and started crying loudly.

Doctor Kaji smiled. He kneeled before the dark-skinned woman and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“It’s okay,” he reassured her. “Everything’s okay.”

Malin herself wasn’t sure why she was crying so hard. She wasn’t that close to Miss Mogami, and still she was so happy the girl was alright.

“I... I’m sorry,” she sobbed and tried to sober up. “I’m just... I...”

“Don’t worry about it, I understand,” the doctor said and helped the young woman to her feet, even pulled out a tissue from his pocket. Malin accepted it with shaking fingers.

“Thank you,” she sniffed. “I’m sorry. I’ll leave in just a moment.”

“Please take a seat, rest for a little while,” the doctor suggested and led the woman to a chair. “I will open visiting hours for the girl after lunch tomorrow. Come back then.”

“Tomorrow?” Malin echoed and looked up. Then she shook her head. “We can’t tomorrow. I was lucky I could get some time off today, I should have gone back already.”

“I see; the life of the celebrities is very busy.”

“Tell me about it,” Malin sniffed again and dried away the last tears. “I really should go back though. Ivy was pissed enough about letting me go this morning. How long must you keep Mogami-san here?”

“Just for a few days. She will be able to go back to work next week already.”

The Egyptian woman sighed from relief. Miss Mogami really would be okay. “Thank you. Really, thank you.”

“You’re welcome, ojou-san.”

After Malin had left, doctor Kaji turned to the receptionist who had silently watched everything.

“I...” she started but Kaji held up a hand.

“You have done nothing wrong, jou-san, in fact you were doing well until the false accusations. That woman could have been a journalist fishing for info. It's just that my son happens to have a cruch on that particular celebrity, so I recognized her." The doctor sighed. "Well, I'm heading home for a few hours of much needed sleep. Have a good day."

 

* * *

 

Kirill sat in a chair waiting for a late-night show to start. Opposite of him Fuwa Sho sat in the window overlooking Tokyo at night and stared at the lights out there without really seeing anything.

It had been quite a day without Malin, and though Kirill knew the Egyptian woman could take care of herself, he hadn’t been able to stop the worry from the pit of his stomach. Yuni had of course noticed right away and done her best to reassure Kirill that Malin was fine, and that if she against all odds would find herself in trouble like getting mugged, Kirill would definitely be the first to know. They had all been together for such a long time Kirill didn’t really have to listen to hear the voices of his band members.

But Malin had been gone for too long and Kirill hadn’t been able to hear Malin over all the noise coming from the rest of the population of Tokyo. That’s when Ivy had noticed he was distracted and given him an earful. Half of it had been about work and the other half had been about if Kirill didn’t trust Malin’s capacity he should therefore have gone looking for Miss Mogami himself.

Well, Kirill would have loved to do the job, but he was still pretty damn pissed at Fuwa for one, and he had already missed out too much work due to earlier incidents. He hadn’t said that out loud, but Ivy must have known already because she said; “then trust Malin.”

You could say a lot about Big Boss Ivy, she was the leader of the band not only for being the one keeping the rest in line. Every band member, from Kirill to Zoya, had Ivy’s complete trust, even Yuni, no matter how many arguments they had. Sure, she complained a lot and loudly when they missed work, but she never questioned the band members’ intentions. If he was honest with himself, Kirill actually admired Ivy. For someone who had lost her eyes to put any trust at all in the people surrounding her, let alone all their trust, was unbelievably strong in the vocalist’s eyes.

Luckily Malin had returned, unharmed, albeit a bit worn out, with the news that she had found where Mogami was, and confirmed that she would be all right (and muttered to Kirill that he should fix his mind, he’d been a number of blocks off the mark). The dark-skinned woman had then done something she handled much mote tactfully than Kirill would have done; she’d given the map she’d had with her to Sho, pointed out the carefully marked hospital the girl was at and told the musician; “Just tell them you’re a brother and they’ll let you in to see her. Visiting hours start after lunch. Go visit her will ya, she’s your important friend after all.”

And right now, opposite of him sat a damn brat who couldn’t even make up his mind about a girl he had known all his life and now was hospitalized due to a possible attempt at suicide or murder. Kirill hadn’t disliked the Japanese teen before, but now he definitely did.

“Must I remind you, Fuva?” he asked lowly, unknowingly sending a shiver through the younger man’s body.

“No,” Sho said and hoped Kirill would leave it.

“If you hesitate for too long, she will be gone forever.”

“No she won’t!” the Japanese musician protested loudly and jumped to his feet. “Malin-san told me Kyoko will be fine. She’ll be out of the hospital by next week.”

“And then?” Kirill asked with a lifted eyebrow, completely unfazed. “What you are going to do then? Because when Mogami leave the hospital, for you it’s too late.”

Sho stood like rooted on the spot, wacked his brain for a comeback, but instead there was a knock on the door and Yuni poked her head inside.

“Showtime, boys,” she told them and Kirill rose from the chair and left.

Sho still couldn’t move, and Yuni hadn’t left yet.

“You know,” she started gently. “If you’re scared, that’s a good thing.”

“How can it be good to be scared?” the teen hissed back, he himself unsure if it had come out right or if the drummer had even understood him. Her eyes didn’t waver.

“Because setting things stright between you and someone you hold dear is always scary. You’re never as scared as when you face the one that hurt you and whom you have hurt.” She paused and looked into Sho’s grey eyes and knew he was listening. “And,” she continued “you’re never as happy as when everything is said and done.”

 

* * *

 

“It’s night-time” the doctor had said. “Sleep tight” he had said. Well, Kyoko wouldn’t know. It wasn’t any darker now than it had been all day! And how was she supposed to know what the time was?

It was such a common thing, such a normal thing to do; check the time, because she had always had a schedule to follow. Now there was no way for her to know the time. For all she knew the doctor could have been lying about “night-time” when it was actually only early evening.

Biting her lip and pulling the covers over her ears Kyoko tried to keep the frustrated tears from welling up. How she hated this. She had managed to persuade Dr Kaji to let her take a walk, but her heart had instantly protested and she had had to go back to bed. After that a nurse (Kyoko had already forgotten her name) had carefully fed her some soup before she got some medicine, both of which hurt terribly as they slipped down her throat to her belly. After that Kyoko thought she might have dozed off, but wasn’t sure. Eyes open was the same as eyes closed anyway.

The now ex-actress pulled the covers the rest of the way over her head. She felt so pathetic. Somebody had to hold her while she stood as if she was just learning how to walk and was taking her first steps. She had to be fed like she was a baby.

She was completely disabled.

And she hated herself.

Kyoko choked on a sob. Her hatred. For so long she had tried to ignore it, and when she couldn’t she had found a way to direct it outwards, at Sho who had used and thrown her aside. It had been such a great outlet for her hatred. Such a great distraction from admitting who Kyoko really hated the most.

She hated herself.

Swallowing hard around the lump that had formed in her throat, Kyoko tried again to stop the tears from flowing, but now that the dam was open the force of the tears was too strong to withhold anymore.

Revenge. What a good distraction it had been. It had taken her to a point where she found she could create a new Mogami Kyoko. A Mogami Kyoko that was strong, wasn’t dependant on others, and didn’t hate herself. The thought that she could actually do it was what had kept her going for so long.

Then suddenly, out of the blue, her mother had appeared with the truth. There was only one Mogami Kyoko, and a new one couldn’t be created. Even if it could be done, in the end it would only be an act, a shell to show the world and hide away the pathetic girl she really was.

This; a pitiful little girl crying on a bed, was the only Mogami Kyoko.

She might have fallen asleep. All she really knew was that a hand was gently squeezing her shoulder and a now familiar voice was calling for Mogami-san. The touch and voice was there like they had just appeared in the darkness that was now her world.

She removed the covers from her head and opened her eyes, but it was still as dark as before.

“Good morning, Mogami-san,” Dr Kaji’s voice greeted from above.

“Is it morning?”

“It sure is, Mogami-san. A rather cloudy Thursday.”

“What time is it?”

“Only half past seven. Are you hungry?”

Kyoko made a face. She felt like she had a rock in her belly and her eyes and cheeks stung. She must have cried all night and most likely looked like it too. Still the doctor didn’t say anything about it.

“Sorry, doctor. I’m not hungry,” she told him, and for some reason her voice sounded pitifully squeaky. Had she turned into a mouse during the night?

“You should try to eat something anyway,” the doctor voiced gently. “We can’t give you any medicine if you tummy’s empty. Just a boiled egg perhaps?”

Yet another unwelcome feeling forced its way to the front of Kyoko’s consciousness; shame. Dr Kaji was trying to be considerate Kyoko knew, and here she was acting like a sulky brat.

“And egg sounds good,” she lied quietly. She wasn’t sure if she could stomach anything at all, but she should try.

“I’ll go fetch you an egg then,” the doctor said (accompanied by a few sounds that had Kyoko think he stood up) sounding a little spirited, and the patient had no way of telling if it was real or not. “You’ll feel better after you’ve eaten something, Mogami-san. You’ll see.”

And so Kyoko heard the doctor’s feet take three steps, push the swing door open and disappear.

After a moment the girl started to feel restless. The day before Dr Kaji had said her bed was one of those moveable things and had shown her how to adjust it. The device should be somewhere above her head to the right. She felt her way to the upper right corner of her bed and sure enough, her hands did grab onto something hard and square shaped. Gingerly feeling over the device to find the cord in one end that stuck out _from the bottom_ of the device. Managing that wasn’t too hard. Now which button was it she was supposed to push in order for the bed to lift her up?

Kyoko’s fingers found three buttons on the device and tried to remember what the doctor had said. She tried the upper button and sure enough; the bed started moving her into a sitting position.

Now how was she supposed to place the device back where she found it? She tried to follow the cord but it disappeared up and out of her reach, and the strain of reaching that far out left Kyoko gasping for air. Her heart was beating as if she had just run a marathon and she felt how her body started to shake uncontrollably.

She stayed like that for minutes, gripping the bed device in such a tight grip it might as well have been her lifeline.

The swing door opened again and Dr Kaji’s footsteps entered the room.

“Mogami-san?”

The doctor was beside her in a flash. Kyoko felt his hands moving over her but had no way of knowing what he was doing. When he was done though the shaking had subsided considerably.

“Th-thank you,” she said, supposing it was what she should say in this situation.

“You must take it easy, Mogami-san,” the doctor scolded her. “It’s not only caffeine poisoning you suffer from, which is serious enough. The drugs you took had a dose of other narcotics as well and those will take some more time for your body to clean out.”

Kyoko nodded tiredly. Originally she had wanted to ask the doctor to help her walk as soon as she’d eaten, but now she was so exhausted her body felt like jelly.

A warm hand patted the skin on her arm and for the first time Kyoko realized she was wearing short sleeves.

“Don’t worry, Mogami-san. You’re in good hands. A few more days and you can sign out.”

The girl chose not to reply, even though she felt awfully rude for it, but she just couldn’t bring up enough energy to talk.

“I see you remember how to set the bed,” Dr Kaji unexpectedly changed the topic and sounded like he smiled. “That’s good. Now, hold out your hand.”

Kyoko did, or well, tried to. She really couldn’t lift her arms so instead she just turned a hand face up and something warm, slick and squishy landed in her hand. She felt over the smooth surface with tentative fingers, feeling its shape, and after a moment she realized what it was; a boiled egg with the shell already peeled off.

“I thought you wouldn’t want egg shells on your bed,” the doctor explained. “Can you eat by yourself?”

She tried to. Really tried. She managed to lift the egg up on her chest, but her hand refused to rise any higher than that. In the end she just sat there with the egg to her chest and head hanging low.

“I can’t eat it,” she said pitifully.

“It’s alright, Mogami-san. This is just a temporary state. You’ll see you can eat by yourself tonight already, but right now you’re still suffering the effects of the drugs. Please let me help you.”

It wasn’t like Kyoko had much of a choice. She really didn’t want to eat, but at the same time she didn’t want to be difficult and act up like a little brat.

A small piece of egg was gently pressed in between her lips.

“I’ve told Lory Takarada-san I intend to open visiting hours today, so that your friends and family can come see you,” the doctor informed his patient while she chewed slowly. “Is that okay with you?”

Kyoko would have liked to look at the doctor and say something to him. But she couldn’t see him, and if she could, what did she want to say? She wasn’t really sure. Dizziness had come over her and she almost couldn’t swallow the food in her mouth.

Something cool touched her forehead and Kyoko wanted to lean into it, but the touch disappeared as soon as it had been there.

“Seems like you’re running a slight of fever,” the man beside her said calmly. “Can you try to eat another piece?”

She couldn’t. Just the little piece she had managed to swallow felt like too much and the dizziness made her feel sick.

“It’s okay, Mogami-san. You’re trying, I can tell. That’s good enough for now. Try to sleep some more. You’ll feel better after you’ve slept.”

 

* * *

 

When Kyoko awoke again she could tell that she had actually slept for some time. The drowsiness of sleep covered her senses like a blanket. She noticed the bed had been lowered into a just slightly tilted position so that she sort of half-lay. At least it felt so. It also felt like she was alone in the room. What time was it?

The girl frowned irritably. When would she stop wondering about the time? It didn’t even make a difference to her anymore. It was insufferable enough to have Dr Kaji and nurses taking care of her, but what would happen once she signed out?

A cold feeling of trepidation came over her like a bucket of ice cold water.

What would she do once she had to leave the hospital? The question was like a wall inside her mind that she couldn’t get around. There were probably an answer, or perhaps only a suggestion behind the wall, but Kyoko still collided with the wall that felt like it grew bigger and bigger.

Then the door swung open.

Kyoko, all too happy for a distraction from the growing panic in her throat, listened carefully. Those... weren’t the doctor’s footsteps. Not a nurse’s either. The footsteps clicked softly against the floor and the steps were painfully slow. Were those familiar clicking sounds caused by high heels?

Now that she thought about it the doctor had said something about visiting hours. Had someone come to visit her? Who could it be? Who would come to visit her now? Kyoko didn’t know anyone who would come to see her; this pitiful person that she really was beneath all her acting.

“Are you awake? Can you hear me?”

She flinched, instantly recognizing the voice. It was the voice that had been calling... yelling in her dreams for a long time.

“Mother?”

In the silence that followed Kyoko tried to move, but her body suddenly felt so heavy.

“I…” her mother started hesitatingly. “I owe you… an explanation.”

A couple of clicking steps later there was a soft rustle and an even softer creaking noise beside her bed, so Kyoko guessed her mother had seated. But she stayed quiet for a long time. The daughter could only hear her mother’s breathing. Sometimes she would inhale like she was about to start talking, but then just let the air out again.

In the end it was Kyoko who spoke up. “Why…?”

She wished she could see. Until this moment she hadn’t fully realized how dependant she had always been on her sight. She wanted to see her mother so badly, look into her face and read her expressions. Now more than ever she felt like she had been separated from the world, put into a box and could only listen to the world outside without being able to take part of it.

Her mother sighed shakily. “Your father. Twenty years ago, soon after I turned twenty, I met him in Kyoto when he was lost. At first he… that man made me laugh. After that… I mean, this was right before a job interview, and thanks to him I relaxed and could concentrate, so I actually got the job.”

Kyoko listened to the quiet voice. Insecurity, hesitation and regret. She wondered if the emotions in her mother’s voice could be seen in her face as well.

“His name was Naum Lastotjka, an actor from Russia. He came to Japan to study acting. He even acted alongside Kuu Hizuri a few times. I think they were good friends.”

Pain stabbed her heart roughly. Kyoko felt how muscles she didn’t even know she owned twitched. The memories of the captain of Kioku flashed in her mind. Corn... no, Tsuruga-san flying through the air like a fairy. It was a good thing her mother stopped talking for a moment, until the loud sound of the realisation stopped echoing in her ears.

“He was so great, my Naum,” Saena continued, even quieter than before. “I designed cloths… especially for him. I even dared to make matching outfits for us. My heart was always beating so fast when I worked on designs for him. I was so… foolishly happy.”

Kyoko couldn’t help it. In her memory she only saw herself smiling up at Sho. She knew it so well; that painfully foolish happiness.

“After two years of… I suppose you could call it a long-distance relationship, Naum asked me to marry him. I said yes.”

_“Kyoko. Would you come with me… to Tokyo?”_

Kyoko felt like puking. So history had repeated itself? How cruel could God be?

“After that… things… went downhill. All the way. Naum wanted me to come with him to Russia and meet his family. He wanted us to marry over there. I… I agreed to that, as long as we would have… a second marriage in Japan… for my family.”

In the following silence Kyoko thought she could hear something moving. A steady rhythm somewhere just outside her consciousness. A rhythm that kept increasing in speed.

“I followed Naum to Russia, to his hometown not too far from Moscow. And my sister tagged along.”

“…What?” Kyoko turned her head to where her mother’s voice came from. Her mother had a sister?

“Um, yes, I’m sorry, I never told you so of course you didn’t know. Yes, I had an older sister,” she confirmed. “Naum, nee-san and I lived in a hotel, instead of with his parents. Nee-san and Naum… left me in the room… saying they were going to come back with a surprise. I-I… I stood in the window… I saw it all happen. Naum and nee-san were attacked by women. It… I couldn’t see properly. It was only… a sea of bodies. The police came. They fired into the crowd. People died.”

Her mother took a deep breath.

“Naum was taken back to me, wounded. Nee-san… she had been maimed. She was dead.”

That sound of rhythmical movement grew louder. Thump-thump, thump-thump. A heartbeat.

“We never got the chance to marry,” her mother continued, and Kyoko thought she could hear tears falling. Or was it the tears of that heartbeat? “Naum sent me home with the next flight along with nee-san’s body. On the airport, we were surrounded by the police force to protect us. And Naum… he wouldn’t kiss me… too shaken… his wounds not yet treated. I couldn’t even tell him… that I was pregnant… with you.”

It burnt behind her eyes and it itched. Kyoko wanted to lift a hand to rub them, but her arms refused to move.

“I used to tell you… as a baby… that your father would come back, because we are a family. But Naum… he never came back. He sent me letters… saying how sorry he was… writing that he loved me… that he wished he could be with me. I wrote back to him… but Naum hadn’t given me another address, so I sent my letters to his mother’s address. I learnt... recently... Naum never received my letters.”

A sniffing sound. A pitiful sob. Kyoko strained her eyes to see through the darkness. Because now she knew her mother was crying, and only willed her voice to sound steady, even when she spoke hardly above a whisper.

“The last letter Naum ever sent me… was blank. I interpreted it that he had nothing more to tell me… to talk about. I thought he had emptied his heart of the love he swore to me.”

Something wet rolled down Kyoko’s cheek from her eyes.

“When you were four years old, you started using my comforting phrase against me, telling me that your father would come back because we’re a family. Like Fuwa.”

Tears. Kyoko knew she was crying only from the wet feeling on her cheeks. The pieces of her childhood that had always hurt were beginning to clear in the most painful way possible.

“You have Naum’s eyes.”

Another stab of pain in her heart.

“I couldn’t stand it. Naum had nothing left to tell me and yet he kept staring at me through your eyes. I didn’t know what to do. It hurt so much to see you look at me. I was angry with Naum and had no way of letting that anger out… except for you.”

It hurt.

“I know… I was unfair. You’re the child I had with the man I loved. I gave birth to you believing you would bring him back to me. I wanted to tell him about you directly, but he never wrote if he was coming to see me and I couldn’t call him, couldn’t even write about you in a letter. I just couldn’t. I was so afraid that if the people who killed my sister knew I had a daughter with Naum they would come and kill you too.”

It hurt.

Knowing what her mother had expected of her. To be told why her mother had acted the way she always had.

It hurt so much.

“As you grew older the memory of what happened to my sister still haunted me. So I… in the end, the only way I could think of to save myself from… well, from… or… I was probably just… running away, because I couldn’t think of anything else to do. So I left you with Fuwa, knowing that they could give you more love than I ever could.”

“Why?” Such a pitiful sound, still Kyoko recognized her own voice. “Why did you come to find me?”

Once again there was a long silence where tears just continued to flow.

“Because… Naum was an actor, and you resemble him so much. The moment I realized you were taking the same path as him, my first thought was to get you away from… from the fate that… from being killed. But when I got to see you… all I could see was Naum staring at me through your eyes… and I realized just how much of his daughter you were… how deeply you had rooted yourself in showbiz. I got desperate. I wanted to tear you away from it all, but there were all these people holding onto you as if they could protect you. Tsuruga Ren who couldn’t wrap his mind around the danger he caused you from his special treatment.”

Another deep breath.

“I went to see The Black Goddess because I thought she could persuade you, since you didn’t to listen to me. She refused me the first time, because she could sense my insecurity. The second time I went to see her was the same day I saw you in the same situation as nee-san, the same day I confronted Tsuruga Ren and lost, and the same day I realized you were even slightly involved with that Russian band. I just couldn’t allow it, but I knew telling you to stay away from them wouldn’t do any good if they tried to get close to you. Going to that woman was the only solution I could come up with. But… I never wished to hurt you.”

Kyoko felt how something, yet nameless, broke within her heart. Still, she couldn’t move a muscle. Her body had gone almost entirely numb.

“I am… sorry. For everything. I… I’ve been... cruel.” Seana sniffed and let out a shaky breath. “I spoke to the president of L.M.E last night, he told me what happened to Naum,” she swallowed thickly. “Your father is dead, Kyoko.”

Silence fell between them where only heartbeats and falling teardrops could be heard if one listened closely.

There was a knock on the door before it slowly opened. Kyoko knew it was Dr Kaji even before he spoke,

“Visit hours are over, Mogami-san.”

Kyoko couldn’t hear if her mother answered, but it took a while for the woman to move.

“Forgive me,” she whispered and her steps walked away.

“Don’t leave me.”

Silence. The footsteps had stopped. Kyoko dared open her mouth again.

“Mother. Please, don’t leave me.”

She wished she could see. She wanted to see her mother’s face.

“Kio… Kyoko. I’m not leaving. Just going back to work.”

And then she ran away. Kyoko sat on the bed with an empty hole where her heart used to be.


	29. ...the sun will rise in the morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter. It is to date the longest I've ever written, and probably ever will write.

Kyoko had very little motivation to do anything at all at the moment. She didn’t even know for how long she’d just sat on her bed since her mother left. A nurse would come in to check on her once in a while but Kyoko couldn’t find the will to talk to her or even answer her gentle and well-meant questions. In the end the nurse would leave with a soft pat on Kyoko’s hand.

However, quite suddenly there was a cry of “Onee-sama!” running feet and something grabbing her arm.

Startled out of her numb state Kyoko gave a shocked cry of “Who’s there?! Who is it?!”

The darkness before her eyes was still as impenetrable as before, but it didn’t keep Kyoko from trying to catch a glimpse of what... or maybe _who_ was attacking her. She realized the touch on her arms was hands. Small hands, and Kyoko tentatively touched them, hoping that would give her a hint on who this was. It had to be a child at least. The hands were way too small to belong to a grown person.

“Onee-sama?” a young girl’s voice sounded beside her. It was definitely familiar. But before she could investigate further the door swung open to let in a person who wasn’t Dr Kaji and not a nurse.

“Maria-chan, I asked you to take it easy.”

Well, that was a voice Kyoko knew for certain; the president, and he had just revealed who was clinging onto her arm.

“Maria-chan?”

“Are you okay, onee-sama?” the little girl asked worriedly. She had asked her uncle a few hours ago where Kyoko was, and it had taken her all those few hours to pry it out of him.

“The doctor said you were feeling out of sorts,” the president added with concern.

The blind girl managed a smile she hoped was reassuring. “I’ll be fine, boss, Maria-chan. It was only an unfortunate accident.”

“Really?” The younger girl let out a small breath of relief. But there was an extended silence from the president that made Kyoko uneasy.

“Really,” she assured Maria.

There was another silence where Kyoko couldn’t find anything to say. It felt like everyone was looking at her but she couldn’t be sure and she couldn’t meet anyone’s eyes either.

“Onee-sama, are you angry?” Maria asked out of the blue.

“Of course not, Maria-chan. Do I look angry? I’m sorry.”

“But you won’t look at me.”

There it was. The proof it was obvious to the world outside the darkness that Kyoko actually couldn’t see. For some odd reason it hurt more that she couldn’t pretend she was alright. She felt vulnerable.

“Maria-chan,” the president spoke slowly. “I believe Mogami-kun isn’t looking at you because she can’t see you.”

“But I’m right here!” the little girl protested and tugged at Kyoko’s arm. “Onee-sama, I’m right here. You can see me, right?”

She swallowed hard and closed her eyes. Even though it was just as dark as with her eyes open it still felt like a good way to hide. Kyoko wasn’t entirely sure what she was trying to hide from though, so she opened them again.

“I’m sorry, Maria-chan,” she spoke with a thin voice. “I’ve gone blind. I can’t see anything at all. It’s just dark.”

The little girl was quiet for a moment as she let the words sink in, and then hell broke loose. Maria _cried_. Kyoko didn’t know what to do or exactly where to turn because the little girl cried so loudly and appeared to be running around.

It took a minute for Lory to catch his granddaughter. Really, the girl was just like her mother when she entered a state of hysteria. Kaji didn’t bother trying to interfere in the chase of the young girl who very almost was running up the walls like a little insect.

“Maria-chan, calm down,” Lory ordered sternly once he got a hold of the girl.

“But-but-but-but-but!”

“This is a _hospital_ , ojou-san,” Kaji pointed out, his voice heavy with both authority and a touch of disapproval. “There are people resting in the other rooms. Please refer from bothering them.”

It was harsh, and the little girl got hurt, but Kaji wasn’t lying either. Outside the room nurses were running around trying to calm the patients who had gotten worried when the girl screamed. Mogami-san herself was near an attack and the doctor quickly strode to his patient’s side, placing a hand on her shoulder and prepared to take care of her. It seemed she had learnt to recognize his touch though and was near immediately taking steadying breaths.

“This is also a hospital,” Kaji continued with a gentler voice, “where people get better.” He smiled at the little girl in Lory’s arms.

Maria nodded quietly. She was fully aware she had caused trouble, even to Kyoko, something she definitely hadn’t intended.

But blind?! What did that even mean?

“Will onee-sama get better?” she asked quietly.

“For the most part, yes ojou-san. About her sight though, I cannot tell for sure, but rest assured we do all we can.”

The little girl nodded, hoping the doctor was right and her idol would be cured.

“Maria-chan. I need to talk to Mogami-kun for a moment. Can you wait for me outside?”

She hesitated.

“Don’t worry, ojou-san. I’ll keep you company,” the doctor said kindly and held out his hand for the girl.

Lory smiled reassuringly when his granddaughter gave him a look. “I won’t be long, I promise. Be with you in a moment.”

“Okay.”

Kaji took the girl’s hand and exchanged a look with the president. Lory had the grace to blush in slight shame. Visiting hours were long over and Kaji was violating policy rules he really shouldn’t. Maria’s reaction also meant that this was the absolutely last time he did this, even for Lory. Kaji did have a boss and she wouldn’t be pleased to hear about this. Lory was well aware of this, and hopefully this would be the last time he had to visit a ward at a hospital like this.

He looked at Kyoko. The girl sat still, but her eyes moved as if she tried to see, even though both of them knew she couldn’t. It was a relief to see her though. Her skin was a little pale and there were rings under her eyes. But she was alive. Going through the possibly worst time of her life, sure, but she was alive, and that meant she still had a chance to live.

“Mogami-kun?”

She flinched a little, probably hadn’t expected the sound of his voice.

“Yes?” she answered, her eyes looking for him.

“You said this was ‘an unfortunate accident’.”

“...yes?”

Lory sighed silently. “I’m afraid it _wasn’t_ an accident.”

The girl on the bed froze. “But... mother said...”

“No,” Lory cut her off quickly. “This has nothing to do with your mother. When you took the drugs the other day she believed you had returned to Kyoto. It might be for that reason we haven’t seen much of her lately.”

Kyoko let out a breath and slumped back on her divan-like bed. She was relieved. Lory couldn’t help but smile a little. Dr Kaji had said the girl’s mother had been here, and as a doctor that was all he could say about it. He could however share that Kyoko hadn’t been very motivated since the mother left, and it led Lory to believe Mogami-kun was trying to digest the information her mother had shared. It was Saena who had sent Kirra-san after the girl and she had most likely confessed. Lory couldn’t even begin to imagine how Kyoko felt about it.

“If it wasn’t an accident... then what?” Kyoko asked, much sooner than Lory had expected, but the faster he got this said the better. He couldn’t stay here too long.

“It would seem Hoshisawa Kyoko intended to pull a cruel prank on you.”

The girl on the bed looked up with eyes wide with surprise. “Hoshisawa-san?”

“Yes,” Lory nodded. “Apparently she has targeted you, in a sense. Some of the rumours about you a while ago were actually caused by her, and about her. She however did a great job in turning all the negative attention towards you. During filming that day Hoshisawa-san sneaked into your lodge and searched your bag to have something on you, that’s how she found the drugs. You did keep them in your bag, didn’t you?”

Kyoko nodded, eyes still wide. Hoshisawa-san? Well, Kyoko had had an odd feeling about her, but _this_? This was almost too outrageous to believe. “What have I done to Hoshisawa-san?” she asked, because she really couldn’t think of anything she’d done that was bad enough for the other girl to _target_ Kyoko. They were in showbiz after all, and Kyoko was still a newbie as well as a Love-Me member from beginning to end, meaning the president had never found her rehabilitated enough to release her.

“Nothing, rest assured,” Lory spoke bluntly. “When you took the drugs Shiva Io-san accused Hoshisawa-san for putting the drugs among the placebos you were using, the girl clumsily gave away she had indeed put something in the pillbox though denied knowledge of exactly what it had been. I couldn’t do anything about it at the moment and Hoshisawa-san was handed over to the police.”

Kyoko’s mouth fell open. An actor had been arrested? ...wait a second. “The media. What... what are they writing about this?”

Lory made a face. “It’s all over the news,” he admitted reluctantly. “Hoshisawa-san spilled the beans and confessed everything during the police interrogation. Now the media is all over Tokyo trying to find out just where you are. I had to take extra safety measures to bring you to this private hospital in absolute secret. The good news is that it isn’t commonly known Polnoch Sana is your mother or this hospital would have been surrounded right after your mother left today.”

Kyoko blinked owlishly. “Mother...? What?”

“Polnoch Sana is the most famous designer in Japan,” Lory explained. “She has her own crew of stalkers and was caught walking out of here when she left you.”

The president paused to let the girl on the bed understand the new information. As an upcoming star Kyoko had made a few interviews before, but all of them had been well planned and prepared for. It was nothing compared to the flood of reporters and photographers that would tear down the building for an interview now. Kyoko was nowhere near ready to face the outside world the way she was right now.

“So what happens now?” Kyoko asked weakly.

“I’d suggest you stay here a few days extra to let the worst commotion die down.”

“But I...”

Lory looked up at the start of a protest from the girl. What, did she _want_ to go through the tsunami of reporters in the state she was in? “But what?” he pressed.

Kyoko had stilled and was slumping, her shoulders rising towards her ears in a show of shame. “But I wasn’t done filming. I had one more scene to film for _Always a child_.”

It took a full thirty seconds for Lory to regain enough control of himself to open his mouth again. _This girl_. He’d thought it before and now he thought it again; dedication had to have _**limits**_!

“I can ask director Sou for you how important that scene is for the movie,” he said and stood. “I have to leave you now. I am here long after visiting hours after all.”

He turned to leave. He had a shitload of work to do and he was tired.

“President.”

The voice was weak and on the edge of breaking. The girl on the bed hung with her head and her fingers twitched.

“What happens to me now?”

She was scared. Mogami Kyoko was scared. Lory had fully expected this, and still it broke his heart to see it happen right in front of his eyes and know he could do absolutely nothing about it. Damn. How was he supposed to catch any sleep like this?

“I don’t know, Mogami-kun,” he answered softly. “All we can do right now is to wait and see.”

 

* * *

 

_“The actress Kyouko was poisoned by a fellow actress; Hoshisawa Kyoko, and sent to the hospital. President of L.M.E Lory Takarada himself is said to have handled the matter of the actress’s healthcare and insists she be left alone. There are no news about Kyouko’s state but as the days roll by the hope for her survival is slipping away. Actress Shiva Io was there at the incident...”_

The rest of the article was illegible since Kotonami Kanae had gripped the paper so tightly it tore in her hands. She sat in Love-Me’s dressing room, leaning over the crumbled up newspaper and tried not to throw up. She’d lost weight lately. Ever since she lost Kyoko she hadn’t had much appetite, and when she did eat the food didn’t taste good, and now that an attempt of murder on the girl had been all over the news for three whole days Kanae couldn’t eat at all. She had arrived to her filming set this morning, but they had declared she looked too bad for work and sent her away until she’d gotten her act back together.

And that idiot... the idiot she’d been thinking about when she said that acted like nothing at all had happened...

Kanae buried her face in the paper, curled up on the seat and trembled. How? How could it be this easy to lose a friend? Why did it hurt so much? She’d never had friends before and been perfectly fine. She’d never regretted a word she said to anyone. How could one slip be so regrettable?

The door opened and light feet slipped inside, quietly closing the door behind them. Amamiya Chiori hadn’t spoken much since the news got out either. She was shocked mostly, but at the same time there was a part of her that wasn’t surprised at all, that felt like she had almost expected something like this to happen. Chiori wondered over that part of her. What in recent history could possibly have prepared even a small section of her for Kyoko-san’s current situation? Well, of course there was the incident involving Fuwa Sho, but he had no apparent connection to the case. According to the culprit herself it had been a spur of the moment. And Kyoko-san herself wasn’t a weakling. Chiori knew for a fact that the girl could handle a lot of pressure and obstacles.

That’s why the incident with Fuwa Sho was so shocking. Whatever had been said or happened had brought Kyoko-san to the very hair before her breaking point. The fact that the incident was so recent was also an issue. Kyoko-san hadn’t got enough time to fully recover, and so a push in the wrong direction was probably all it took for the girl to lose her self-control.

Now that’s not what had happened, hopefully, but Chiori figured it was good enough an explanation to that part of her that felt like it had been waiting for something like this to happen.

And now Chiori couldn’t figure out anything else to occupy her mind with. Damn, that solution had come to her way too easily. Couldn’t her thoughts have taken at least a hundred or so more turns in her head before arriving at a destination? Now she just stood here in the middle of the room like an idiot and Kanae-san avoiding her didn’t make things easier.

“The reporters keep pointing out the president took care of Kyoko-san,” Chiori said to the back of Love-Me section’s second member.

At first the other girl didn’t react, but after a long enough while and Chiori was just opening her mouth to say something else, Kanae-san moved, the ruined newspaper slowly falling to her lap and head turning just slightly.

“What are you inkling?”

Wow, Kanae-san’s voice was really hoarse. What was wrong with her?

“The president knows where Kyoko-san is,” Chiori continued instead of questioning the other girl.

Kanae’s head turned forward, away from Chiori again. “I would think so,” she replied at length.

“I want to see Kyoko-san,” Love-Me’s third member said and she herself heard how childish she sounded. “I was told she was quitting, so Kyoko-san won’t come back even if she recovers. If we don’t go to see her now we will never see her again.”

Kanae sat still and silent. Amamiya-san had a point. If they wanted to see that girl, they would have to go to her now. But what could she possibly say to her? It was okay for Amamiya-san to say she wanted to see Kyoko; s didn’t have this problem of having been a total bitch and asking her to die the last time they spoke to each other. Kanae wished she could apologize for it, but how?

Annoyance gathered in a hard knot inside the tall girl’s chest. She was angry at herself, at that idiot who had annoyed her so badly, at Kyoko who had been right there at the wrong time, at the whole world for being so stupid. She wanted more than anything to see Kyoko again, and right beside that desire was the fear of Kyoko’s response. Even if she had been wrong once before, this was nothing like that time.

Chiori grit her teeth. So this was how it was going to be? “Fine. Do whatever you want. I’ll go see Kyoko-san on my own then.”

She turned to leave, and let out a shrill, startled scream that awoke even Kanae from her depression. Sebastian stood in the room. When Chiori turned she had been a hair from walking straight into the man.

“The president apologizes for neglecting you for the past few days,” Lory’s assistant said, completely unfazed while poor Chiori sat where she had fallen on her butt, grasping at her heart to make sure it stayed inside her chest. “I’m sure you have been worried about Mogami-san,” the man continued when nobody else spoke. “If you need to speak with the president he will be in his office for another couple of hours.”

And with that the dark man bowed gracefully to the mute girls and left without a sound.

After a long pause Kanae stood. She was still trying to set her mind, but the side of her that wanted to see Kyoko was winning, and it was best to move while the fear wasn’t consuming her completely.

Chiori watched the other girl. For a moment she just stood there, indecisive and rigid, but it only took a moment for her chin to adopt a hard line and Kanae marched out of the room with long strides. Love-Me’s third member smiled, got up from the floor and hurried to follow.

 

* * *

 

Yashiro Yukihito made a face as he skimmed through yet another article about Kyoko-chan’s case. It said nothing new and as long as the president refused to say a word on the matter there would be no news before Kyoko-chan was out of the hospital.

The manager growled and threw the newspaper into a trashcan. As if it wasn’t enough to worry about Kyoko-chan, he was worried sick about Ren too. The actor was acting his normal, calm and polite self with the difference that now he didn’t even try to hide the fact he wasn’t eating. Yashiro wondered if he even slept properly as his charge’s eyes had become so dull ever since Kyoko was poisoned. He hadn’t said a word about it though.

Yashiro sighed again and shook his head, unseen by Ren who was walking up to him after finishing a scene.

As he stepped off the stage, Ren felt how his mask slipped and his character’s feelings simply faded away. Hopefully nobody noticed the way his hands were shaking as they wished they could grab the character and bring it back. Being somebody else than Tsuruga Ren was better. They didn’t feel this guilty hopelessness about a girl his heart fluttered for every time he saw her or heard her voice.

Wordlessly the tall actor went over to his manager to sit down and wait for his next act. Normally he would concentrate on his lines at these breaks, but at the moment his thoughts were on anything but work. Kyoko, and her mother too, were dancing across his inner eye and wouldn’t let him forget.

Ren would give a lot to be able to see the young girl again, to apologize for not being there to help her. He cursed himself for being so conceited. He had told Kyoko’s mother that he wouldn’t stop the girl from coming to him for help. He had forgotten that Kyoko never asked for his help unless it was work related. Everything else was him noticing her mood, pushing her buttons to pull the truth out of her.

Now look at him; his secret revealed, Kyoko knew he was the boy she spent a lot of summer days with and thus her trust in him was gone. He’d lost a game he’d been playing for years, all because of a sharp mind.

The actor leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and hands folded in front of his face. No, he didn’t blame Captain-san for being so sharp to have seen through his act at the wrong place at the wrong time, even though it still unsettled him. Kyoko always moved quietly, making her hard to detect when she wanted to stay out of the way. She was one of few who could still walk around the stage when a scene was played and not make a single disturbing sound. A girl who moved so quietly and only made her presence known if she was asked for, of course the leaves or bushes wouldn’t rustle to announce her arrival. They hadn’t heard her come and they hadn’t heard her leave.

Sighing quietly to himself Ren looked to the floor, frowning lightly with indecision. He couldn’t, definitely couldn’t, absolutely didn’t want to risk his work for anything. He loved to act. It was the one thing in the world he truly loved to do. He’d given up on a lot of other things in order to live for his work.

But was he ready to give up on Kyoko?

His heart screamed out a loud and painful NO!

Sighing again Ren resisted the urge to hide his face in his hands or pull his hands through his hair, glad he still had enough control to know he shouldn’t upset his make-up or hair as it would take unnecessary extra time to get it back in order when he was called up for his next scene. The make-up artists would always take a second to dust a brush across his face to ensure he looked good enough before he went on stage. Rubbing away the make-up and they would have to redo the whole thing.

“Ren.”

The actor almost didn’t hear the soft voice of his manager. He turned around and looked to the other man. “Did you say something?”

Yashiro gave him a look. “Yes. Are you not going to see her? You want to apologize, am I right?”

So typical of Yashiro-san. For someone who knew little to nothing about Ren’s private life and past, he often managed to put words to the very core of the problem. Something Ren shamefully admitted, albeit only to himself, he'd tried hard to avoid.

“I don’t know,” he drawled quietly and looked down at the floor once again. “I wouldn’t want to draw attention to her by visiting.”

Yashiro made a face. Every hospital and health care centre in Tokyo probably had a reporter spying at the entrance and attacked any visitor who was even slightly involved in showbiz.

“Isn’t that what the president is for?”

Ren gave the man behind him a look that questioned Yashiro’s sanity. Sure, the president was the closest to a parent Ren had in reachable distance, but running to him with this? No, not a good idea. Lory Takarada had X-rays instead of actual eyes sometimes and Ren really didn’t want to tell the elder what had happened the last time Kyoko spoke to him.

Yashiro was about to say something else, but just then Ren got called to go on stage. Ren’s manager huffed at the hurry in which Ren got up and left. The star was beating around the bush again and Yashiro didn’t like it. If you had a fight with someone you didn’t want a fight with you must apologize once the steam is gone. Sure, Yashiro knew nothing about what had actually happened at Kioku, but for Kyoko-chan to slap Ren, an actor across the face, an unforgiveable sin in showbiz, she must have been seriously upset. The manager wondered if it was something Ren had said. It sounded both likely and very _un_ likely. Ren was the uncrowned master of smooth talking. On the other hand Kyoko-chan was highly unpredictable and never fell head over heels in love with anything that had nothing to do with fairies or princesses. There was also the case that Kyoko-chan appeared to have mentally tucked Ren up on a shelf where she could admire him from a safe distance and from where Ren simply couldn’t reach her.

The manager heaved another deep sigh. It was a mess. In his opinion Kyoko shouldn’t be alone right now. An attempted murder wasn’t something you just forgave and forgot about. She needed as much reassurance as possible and therefore she should be able to find it in her to forgive Ren for whatever had happened at Kioku. At least that’s how Yashiro reasoned. The mess was caused by Ren clamming up and refusing to bulge.

It didn’t matter, the manager suddenly decided. His reasoning might be wistful, but if Ren wouldn’t visit Kyoko-chan then Yashiro would. That way he could figure out if Kyoko-chan wanted to see Ren or not and so he would have an easier time pursuing Ren. Hopefully.

 

* * *

 

Yashiro Yukihito was not alone in trying to get someone to pay Kyoko a visit. Kirill’s methods were however not quite as friendly or well-meaning. Sho Fuwa was by now well familiar with the Russian man’s blue eyes drilling into him from the other side of the room.

They were working on their next song as the contract they’d all agreed on and signed said they would do. _The Dead Saints_ had done their half of the deal, now they were waiting for Sho to get his half of the arrangement done. But when someone was staring holes in you Sho found was very hard to be anything near creative. He hadn’t plucked a single cord on his guitar for the past two hours and the stares hadn’t lessened even for a second.

As if the Russian wasn’t enough Sho was fighting an emotional war all on his own.

At last he couldn’t take it anymore. Sho abruptly stood and turned to yell at the other occupant of the room. “Even if I go to see her nothing will change!”

Kirill didn’t even bat an eye. “Wrong,” was all he said and that with a very flat voice. All in all he wasn’t being very helpful.

“Bah!” Sho spat and sat back down, facing away from the other man. “What do you even know?”

“I know things always are different after every meeting and talking, no matter how slight the different is.”

The Japanese teen snorted. That had to be the stupidest thing he’d ever heard in his life. Things didn’t change just because you talked; they changed when you made a decision, and Sho had way too many contradicting feelings to make up his mind about anything. On one side was his own life, his career and his music. On the other side was Kyoko.

Sho had made a serious effort to be even more ignorant about the news than he’d ever been, but not all of him was in on that effort. Every time he heard Kyoko’s name on the TV his mind would immediately zero in on the sound, trying to make out what had become of her, and even when he caught himself doing this he couldn’t find the strength to turn away and shut out all sounds. Sho hadn’t even slept properly since Kirill had scared him by saying Kyoko was dead.

It was those very words that scared him. That Kyoko would die. It was what his nightmares were all about. And as the days passed without a word from either L.M.E’s president or from anywhere at all the worse Sho found his hands shaking.

Kyoko. The girl he’d grown up with, whom he’d always turned to for comfort, who he’d always thought didn’t matter that much to him was now about to disappear out of his life forever, and Sho found a large portion of him absolutely didn’t want that.

Shoko entered the room with lunch boxes in her hands. “Sho, let’s take a break. Did you manage to get anything done today?”

The teen gripped the neck of his guitar until his knuckles turned white, controlling the temper that any moment now risked to slip and hurt his manager. He couldn’t do that he knew. Wasn’t that exactly what had started his continual realization of Kyoko being someone important to him? In fact, he could still feel it, the sting on the back of his hand from when he had lashed out at Kyoko, hurting her. His emotions hadn’t been under his control then. What would happen to him if he lost control now?

“He will make very good music,” Kirill suddenly spoke up from his corner, causing manager and star to turn and stare at him.

“He will?” Shoko asked as if Sho wasn’t even there. “How would you know, Kilill-san? Has he told you anything?”

“He will make good music,” the Russian repeated before once again drilling his blue gaze straight into Sho’s grey ones. “Once he has talked to her.”

Shoko didn’t understand right away. It took almost ten seconds before it dawned on her. “Oh. Kyoko-chan?”

As soon as she’d said it out loud the female manager froze. She knew Sho was aware of Kyoko-chan’s case and that he must be worried. Actually she had gone through great pains to not mention a word that could possibly relate to the case. She’d probably failed in a few, or perhaps a lot of ways, seeing as the teenaged star only had gotten worse over the days. Not for the first time Shoko wished the Russian man (whom she still had the hots for mind you) to be cooperative instead of so obviously working against Shoko’s every effort.

It was the biggest difference between Kirill and Shoko, Sho thought silently to himself. Shoko was the typically modest and avoid fighting sort of woman. Kirill was a lot more like... Kyoko.

“Ki-Kilill-san,” Shoko stuttered in a most pathetic attempt of scolding the man. “You should be more considerate of Sho’s feelings.”

“I am thinking of his feelings and of Mogami’s,” the Russian said easily. “The only way to get out of a situation is to go through it. Standing still will not take one anywhere.”

“Now listen to me here,” Shoko tried again, even though the Russian man wasn’t even trying to appear like he was listening, and Shoko very much didn’t want to be ignored by him, so her embarrassing scolding of his lack of tact quickly turned into a firm one picking on his manners.

Neither man was listening. Kirill only had ears for the voice of Sho’s feelings as the younger was finally starting to make up his mind.

Sho was staring at the wall, guitar still in hand as Kirill’s words replayed themselves over and over in his head. They were true. If he didn’t make up his mind about what he wanted to do with Kyoko Sho wouldn’t be able to write a single chord for his song. Right now the girl was a block on his road that he couldn’t simply skip or walk around. Unless he wanted a big black spot on his career he _had_ to clear things up with Kyoko.

Now if his mind could just stop throwing around a big fat “But” and get to his doubts and have him chicken out.

 

* * *

 

It hadn’t been hard to get the hospital’s address from the president, or the day off. In fact the tall man had nearly ordered them to spend the day away and had given them an extra free day to... well, Chiori wasn’t sure if she knew what “things” she was supposed to “think over” and hadn’t wanted the extra day off, but alas, the president would always get his way.

Kanae and Chiori stood outside the hospital, wearing normal cloths and just stared at the building. Speaking frankly; it looked plain, the kind of house you’d normally just pass by without taking notice to unless you had actual business here. There was no big sign anywhere on the walls that shouted out this was a hospital. The only one thing that did was probably the entrance itself; the wide, automatic doors were adapted for wheelchairs. And of course the guidance chart standing there to help visitors find their way around.

Lowering her gaze to the door Kanae felt her legs lock and refuse to listen to the brain’s order to move. Inside those doors Kyoko waited, and she was most likely not happy.

“He’s smart ne, the president,” Chiori voiced quietly as she too looked to the doors. “The media would probably never think to look for her here.”

Kanae nodded, trying to swallow the lump in her throat at the same time. The last time she saw Kyoko... or the last _times_ actually, their friendship had been torn apart and scattered in the wind. There was the kiss. There was the slip of tongue she hadn’t gotten the chance to apologize about the last time she saw Kyoko.

The moment the girl had explained how she had nobody.

_“I’m not like you! I don’t have anyone at all!”_

No, Kanae still couldn’t understand it. She’d tried to, but every attempt to put herself in Kyoko’s situation and not have anyone but a mother who appeared to not want her, all Kanae could feel was relief and a touch of envy. Because she came from a poor family with a lot of children that wouldn’t give you room enough to breathe. As a child she had had to find food for herself because there just wasn’t enough to go around at home. She’d never bothered to care what other people thought of her because what did they know anyway? Her parents hadn’t given much of a damn as long as she did her chores at home and did well in school and most of the time she had wished those two weren’t her parents.

But Kyoko didn’t think like that. That girl had always wanted friends while Kanae had thought it was nothing but a bother even trying to make any friends that would want to come over and make snarky comments on her family and house. Kyoko, while she had never said anything, Kanae had figured that the girl had always wanted a family too.

They really were worlds apart.

“I’m going in.”

The tall girl jumped, startled out of her thoughts at the voice of the other girl she had completely forgotten was in her company.

“Wa-wait! I’m not mentally prepared yet!” Kanae squeaked and hurried after Chiori, intending to stop her, but once she caught up they were already inside those wide automatic doors.

Latched onto the shorter girl’s arm Kanae stood stiff. They were inside, and behind the desk a young man had looked up from some papers.

The doors slid close behind them with a soft hiss.

The actress inside her came to her rescue. Kanae had always tried to appear as classy as possible because it earned her the respect she’d always wanted. So now, in front of the eyes that had turned to give her strange looks, Kanae straightened, pulled her jacket straight with a firm tug and put on a mask of indifference.

Chiori watched it happen and felt just a tad bit challenged. No, her acting spirit felt like it was dying to take the challenge. Unfortunately this wasn’t the time or place to do so. Kanae didn’t even give her a chance since she was already walking up to the front desk and slapped down the card the president had given them, because Kyoko was a secret patient and, according to the hospital reports, not even there. Lory Takarada had really thought of everything.

The young man behind the desk looked startled and slightly nervous as he looked up into the visitor’s coldly glaring eyes that were clearly daring him to deny her entry. Was this really the same young woman who had rushed in, crying she wasn’t prepared? Maybe she was...

Before his imagination could run away with his head the man picked up the card, not breaking eye contact until he held the note up in front of his nose where he could keep half an eye on the woman.

The note had a six digit number and Dr Kaji’s signature written on it.

The man behind the desk frowned in confusion and turned to his computer, entered Dr Kaji’s name and added the numbers. To his great surprise a floor and room number appeared on the screen, but still no name of a patient.

“On the third floor, room 324,” he informed the girls and handed the card back.

“How do we get there?” the shorter one of them asked.

“Take the elevator over there and follow the room numbers from there.”

“Thanks a lot.” The girls bowed respectfully and went over to the elevator pointed out to them. The man behind the desk made a mental note to ask Dr Kaji about this later.

 

* * *

 

Kyoko was doing some rehabilitation under a nurse’s watchful eye. They’d started doing it this morning since Dr Kaji had deemed her safe enough. So now Kyoko sat with a child puzzle on a table on the floor, trying to fit the pieces into their right slots. To be fully honest, Kyoko had felt really stupid at first. She’d never played with his sort of toy as far as she could recall because she’d found them too easy. Now here she was, taking minutes to fit a piece into its slot.

The nurse had told her there were four animals; a dog, a cat, a horse and a goat. The only thing Kyoko had figured out about the pieces since she started this morning was that the smallest piece had to be the cat. The nurse had confirmed that part of the information, but otherwise she was rather useless since she wouldn’t give a single clue about which piece was which. To make matters worse the nurse turned the board all the time so Kyoko didn’t have a clue about what was up and down on the pieces or could learn where they fit.

That’s when Kyoko’s evil side had awoken. This was a challenge that was taking its toll on her pride which was, according to Evil Kyoko, an unforgivable act, and so she’d started to lose herself in the game.

This is the sight Chiori and Kanae walked in on; Kyoko with a stubborn and determined face feeling around the large puzzle piece in her one hand and the other running over the board where one piece was already in place.

The nurse noticed them and silently motioned to them to stay quiet.

Kyoko found the right slot and fitted the piece in it before her hand searched for another piece and repeated the process of feeling over it and the board, her eyes staring ahead of her rather than on her hands.

Both Love-Me members wondered why she was doing that. Kyoko acted as if she was blind. Kanae didn’t want to think she was. Kyoko had excellent eye sight. She recognized people from a mile away, long before Kanae had even seen them.

Chiori on the other hand wondered why. Why was Kyoko blind? How could she be? What had really happened to her?

With a grunt Kyoko fitted the last piece on the board, crossed her arms and appeared to wait for something to happen.

“Mogami-san. You have visitors,” the nurse said instead of reaching over and messing up the finished puzzle again.

The teenage girl blinked, her pissed expression turning into one of slight surprise. “Really? Who?”

She turned her head towards where she had figured the door was, more out of habit than hope to actually see anyone.

“I’m sure you have things to talk about. I’ll leave the puzzle here for you, Mogami-san,” the nurse said kindly, bowed to the visitors and left.

“Who is it?”

No response. Kyoko frowned confusedly and tilted her head, trying to hear something.

“Is somebody there?”

“Kyoko-san,” Chiori answered hesitatingly. “What happened to you?”

The blind girl frowned as she tried to put a face to the voice. She knew she’d heard it before, many times, but who could it be?

“Kyoko-san?”

Blinking, Kyoko realized she’d been asked a question before. “Oh, that’s kind of a long story,” she explained absently, still trying to figure out who this was.

“You have gone blind.”

Kyoko sat up straighter. She’d know _that_ voice anywhere, and for a second she forgot herself and cried out a happy; “Moko-san!”

Kyoko couldn’t deny she had missed the taller girl terribly. Ever since it had started to crack between them. Being stuck here she had also gotten a lot of time to think once her head cleared.

She should apologize. The last time they talked Kyoko had said some really cruel things, and she knew she should apologize, because it wasn’t Moko-san’s fault. Nothing was her fault. In fact, Kyoko didn’t want to blame anyone or even come up with excuses. She just wanted to say how sorry she was for everything that had gone wrong.

Chiori looked between the two girls. In front of her Kyoko-san’s face was slowly falling the longer it took for the long-haired girl to get out of her petrified state and answer. In the end Chiori planted a very unfriendly elbow in Kanae’s gut, causing the taller girl to cry out and double over in both surprise and pain.

“What was that for?!” she demanded, holding her abused stomach.

“Moko-san? What happened?”

“She’s fine, Kyoko-san,” Chiori replied with a sing-song voice. “Her breath stuck in her throat and I had to help her.”

Kyoko frowned. She knew that voice, so why couldn’t she figure out who it belonged to?

It felt like the rudest thing she’d ever done, but between waiting until she finally figured it out herself, if she did, and knowing who was here to see her, Kyoko thought the latter at least felt better.

“I’m terribly sorry,” she started with a strained voice, gaining a confused noise in response. “I don’t recognize you. Please tell me who you are.”

If Chiori said she wasn’t offended she would lie. But then again, she and Kyoko hadn’t been friends for that long, and she had gone blind. At least that’s how Chiori reasoned with herself. Too bad it didn’t make it easier to tell Kyoko her name as if they were strangers.

“It’s okay, Kyoko-san. I’m Amamiya Chiori.”

The blind girl instantly hit her fist into the palm of her hand, eyes lightning up as she finally had a face to the person in front of her, but almost immediately she felt bad.

“I’m really sorry, Amamiya-san,” she apologized quietly.

“It’s okay, Kyoko-san,” Chiori said again and sat down in front of the girl. “If you’re blind then you can’t see me, so of course you wouldn’t recognize me right away.”

Kyoko looked down to her hands, torn about what to do and say now. She still hadn’t apologized to Moko-san, but she wasn’t sure if it was right to do that in front of Amamiya-san without shutting the newest Love-Me member out more than she already had. No, that would be unfair.

“Kyoko-san, why are you doing this puzzle thing?”

The bright-eyed girl looked up and then towards her left where the table was and instantly frowned at herself. She was getting annoyed at her automatic response of turning her head to look at someone/something when it was mentioned even now that she knew she wouldn’t be able to see anything.

“Rehabilitation,” she muttered sullenly. “Because I can’t see, some of my contact with the world has been lost, limiting me to mostly hearing and touching. The doctor said this would help me seeing with my hands by feeling a shape and drawing it in my mind. But it’s hard.”

As Kyoko spoke Kanae had inched closer. Her thoughts were scattered all over the place. There were too many things she simply couldn’t comprehend, about what Kyoko was going through. At the same time there were things she regretted, not only her stupid slip of her tongue. She also realized she probably should have brought some sort of get-well gift. But she had never done anything of the sort before. Still, a gift of some sort maybe would have made it easier to initiate Kyoko to talk to her again. Then again... Why had Kyoko smiled at her just now?! It didn’t make sense! Wasn’t she angry anymore? Was she forgiven? Just like that? But she hadn’t even said anything yet!

Groaning in frustration, at first not realizing she attracted the attention of the other two in the room, Kanae rubbed her forehead. “Why do I have to be bothered by this?” she grumbled at her growing headache.

“M... Moko-san?”

Freezing once again, Kanae cursed herself for forgetting Kyoko was still in the room, and she could so easily misinterpret her.

Chiori snarled soundlessly at the taller girl who once again stood stock still as if she wanted to avoid all attention. That was it. Chiori refused to watch this spectacle another second. Kyoko-san obviously wanted to talk to Kotonami-san and Kotonami-san just as obviously had something to say.

“Well, I’m sure you two have some personal business to settle, so I’ll wait outside. Do call for me when you’re done. I want to talk to you some more, Kyoko-san.”

Both girls looked like they wanted to stop her from leaving; Kyoko even reached out as if to grab her, but Chiori had moved out of her reach already.

“Don’t start a fight again,” she called over her shoulder with a somewhat chirp voice, waved and was out the door.

Once out of sight Chiori headed for the corner where a sofa and an armchair were located in front of a small, old-fashioned TV. A coffee table offered some magazines but Chiori ignored them and just sat down on the sofa and took out her notebook.

In Kyoko’s room the blind girl was staring in the direction of the door, blinking owlishly. She was really considerate wasn’t she, Amamiya-san, she’d been angered by something before she left though. Mogami Kyoko’s anger-radar never lied. Well, she’d said for Kyoko and Moko-san to settle their personal business and then call her back, and Kyoko was determined to follow that advice.

The table was to her left, so Kyoko turned her body more to the right, hoping Moko-san was at least somewhat in front of her. “Moko-san,” she spoke with a firm voice.

Kanae flinched at the sound of Kyoko’s tone. She knew it. She wasn’t forgiven after all. What now? Was she going to ask her to leave and never come back? No! It couldn’t end like this! She didn’t want it to! She had to...

“Please forgive me, Moko-san.”

And once again Kyoko did the unexpected, saying exactly what Kanae wanted to tell her and completely haltered her train of thought and thoughts in general.

“Wh-what?”

Kyoko was bowing down with her forehead almost against touching the floor. She’d always been exceptionally good at bowing. Because she had been raised with the old traditions, she was good at a lot of those things. Now she lifted her head and sat straight, but never opened her eyes.

“Last time I saw you, Moko-san, I said a lot of cruel things, and I am truly sorry. I hope you can forgive me, because I miss you, Moko-san.”

Straightforward. Kyoko had always been honest and straightforward, and pushy when she wanted to. But then again, wasn’t that exactly what had made Kanae trust her? Well, Kanae wasn’t as honest, but she did want her friend back, she realized that much at least.

She sat on her knees right in front of the blind girl. “I am sorry,” she started. “It was my fault from the start, wasn’t it? Because I’m not good with people, and I say whatever I want because I never cared about others before, and I hurt you. I’m really sorry about that.”

Kyoko’s eyes were open, staring straight at Kanae, and the taller girl blushed. She was just opening her mouth to tell Kyoko to stop staring at her, and she would have, because she can’t control her mouth, but Kyoko beat her to the punch as a wide, happy and so very relieved smile spread across her features.

“Thank you, Moko-san.”

“...Eh?”

A tear dropped from the blind eyes. “I thought... no, I was sure you hated me, Moko-san, and I was so scared. Because I never had friends, I treasure you a lot. I’m so glad... you don’t hate me after all.”

At that moment it felt like a heavy pressure she hadn’t even realized was there lifted from Kanae’s chest. It was suddenly easier to breathe and she felt so light. And at the same time her eyes welled up.

It was a very female thing, wasn’t it? The urge to cry out your relief. To Kanae this was a new experience, and she quickly wiped at her eyes. Kyoko was good at a lot of things, and she was probably the only person in the world who could make Kotonami Kanae cry for real.

“Am I forgiven, Moko-san?” Kyoko asked quietly.

“’course you are,” Kanae mumbled. “I’m sorry that I... took so long.”

Kyoko smiled and reached out her arms. “I want to hug you, but I can’t really tell where you are so...”

Okay, that was taking things one step further than Kanae was comfortable with. Actually, she doubted she’d ever be ready to willingly hug anyone at all, even if it was Kyoko. But they’d just become friends again...

Love-Me’s second member took her best friend’s hands and held them tightly. And shut up, this was as far as her pride could stretch.

“Let’s call Amamiya back,” she mumbled, because now she was so embarrassed she could hardly stand it.

 

* * *

 

Lory put the pen down and stretched his stiff back. Sitting at his desk for so long wasn’t very good on his body and he decided he could afford to take a break for some yoga. Without a word Sebastian started preparing tea in a corner. It was rare for the L.M.E president to sit still for this long, but granted, he did have a lot of work to catch up with that had been neglected due to the case with Mogami Kyoko, and then Lory had even called around to call back some of the work he’d actually done and asked to do it over. Indeed, Lory was very determined to do his work properly.

The president sighed in relief as he removed the bright blue dress shirt to allow full flexibility and sat on a yoga mat against the wall. He wanted to go back to his cosplaying and dancers and actors and all the other things that made his life wonderful and where he only spent three hours top on paperwork a day. Granted, if he wanted his life to go back to that, he had to finish the pile that had been building on his desk, and that would probably take him another day. Funny, Lory had never thought paperwork to be a pain before, but then again he’d never before let it pile up on him. He’d worked pretty fast these last few days though. He’d managed to properly finish reading three scripts in one day and thereby made all their deadlines. He’d called Akira Sou, the director of _Always a Child_ , who had been soundly relieved to hear Mogami-kun was going to be alright, and confirmed that yes; there was another scene Mogami-kun was supposed to act and they could shoot it now, but it had to be soon since the movie was already in for cutting. Lory had also gone over the economical situation of the company, made a few adjustments (given his secretary a well-deserved raise) and been on two meetings on the matter before he handed it all over to the one in charge of the economy who was now busy making ends meet with the new adjustments. Lory had almost given himself a day off once that was done, much faster than he usually took care of those things.

And even if all that sort of stressed him out he knew it did some good on other areas too; staying holed up here with only his private phone on if someone needed him was discouraging the pestering reporters who wanted to know as much as they could get about Mogami-kun.

It wasn’t very much like Lory to wish for a horrible scandal to occur, but it would be great if it did so that his poor little girl could leave the hospital in peace once Dr Kaji released her. The hospital wasn’t a hotel after all.

Lory was halfway through his yoga program when his phone started beeping. Not feeling like picking it up, the president sent a glance towards his assistant who immediately walked up to the wide desk to answer.

“Hello, this is Lory Takarada’s assistant speaking. Can I help you?”

Slowly twisting his body the other way Lory listened with half an ear, in case it was important.

“I see. I will inform the president right away,” Sebastian said, not missing a beat as he turned to his boss. “Tsuruga-sama wishes to know how Mogami-kun is.”

Carefully ceasing his stretching Lory let out a breath and held his hand out for the phone. He had half expected this call, but at the same time sort of hoped the man would be too bummed out to come with the request.

“Ren,” he answered the phone with a voice that was deep both in tone and meaning.

 _“President,”_ came the slightly nervous response. He didn’t like it when Lory used that tone on him. Most of the time it meant something negative.

“Mogami-kun is fine and will be able to sign out of the hospital within a couple of days.”

There was a pause, then; _“Oh. That’s good to hear.”_ And another pause when Lory just waited for the words he knew Ren would speak next. _“President, is it possible for me to talk to her?”_

The president rested his elbows on his knees, thinking. “It might be possible,” he drawled, “but not face to face,” he finished more firmly.

_“What do you mean, president?”_

“I mean that Mogami-kun needs to be kept away from the attention she has on media right now. A number of people, including myself, have already paid Mogami-kun a visit. The doctor is tired of the secrecy and reported to me earlier today that the people working in the reception are getting curious. If you, who are a well-known face in all of Japan, were to show up where Mogami-kun is, reporters are bound to follow you.”

Lory knew he needn’t explain further. Ren was a little selfish, but the president was confident the actor wouldn’t do anything that could put Mogami-kun at risk.

 _“Then... you said it_ might be possible _for me to talk to her, just not face to face,”_ Ren started.

“Yes,” Lory confirmed and switched his position to continue his yoga. Ren was being quite easy to deal with today, something he rarely was, and the president was rather glad for it. “I’ll talk to the doctor and see if it is alright for you to give the girl a call. Give me ten minutes to get back to you.”

_“Y-yes. Thank you, president.”_

The elder man smiled tenderly at the relief he could hear in his charge’s voice right before the actor hung up to let his superior do as he’d said. Lory would do it. Just five more minutes of yoga.

 

* * *

 

Tsuruga Ren sat in his longue with his cell phone in his hand and thumb hanging just above the last digit in the number to the hospital where Mogami-san was. The president had kept his word and Ren had worked extra hard to finish his scenes early to allow himself an extra long lunch hour. The director had looked a little puzzled when he requested to do all his scenes for the day before lunch but hadn’t protested. Now Yashiro was out to call a different location to fill up Ren’s evening schedule so that, if Ren kept working like this, he would have a whole free day later; the manager’s own suggestion, and Ren was genuinely happy. He knew he needed time to sort out his jumbled thoughts.

Thoughts he were about to willingly mess up even more if he could just muster up enough courage to hit the last button and make the call. But he HAD to talk to Mogami-san.

Hitting the button and the call button right after Ren put the phone to his ear.

 

* * *

 

“Mogami-san, there’s a phone call for you.”

The blind girl blinked and looked up from her new rehabilitation; recognizing personal belongings, in this case; her dolls. When the president had visited her he had apparently brought her bag that she’d left behind and that Shiva-san had asked for it to be delivered to Kyoko. The nurse in charge of her had been baffled to find out Kyoko had made every doll by hand, and silently heart-broken because she wouldn’t be able to make dolls again now that she was blind.

“Thank you,” she said hesitatingly and held out her hand. Kaji took the hand and secured it around the portable phone so that Kyoko wouldn’t drop it.

“Call for me when you are done,” Dr Kaji said and left with a pat on his patient’s shoulder.

Kyoko held the phone to her ear and hoped the doctor wasn’t pulling a prank on her. “Hello, this is Mogami Kyoko speaking.”

A long silence. Damn, the doctor really was pulling a prank, or was this a prank call?

_“Mogami-san. How are you?”_

The girl very nearly dropped the phone. She knew who this was, and she had tried to avoid thinking about him all this time because it hurt so much.

_“Mogami-san, please talk to me.”_

Huh? She hadn’t been quiet for that long, had she? But what did this person want her to say?

Cursing silently to herself, Kyoko figured that being rude wouldn’t get them anywhere, her least of all. “Tsuruga-san,” she acknowledged. “What do you want?” Well, she never said she wouldn’t be rude at all.

She heard a short sigh on the other line, or was Tsuruga-san only letting out his breath for some reason? It was very quiet though. Maybe Tsuruga-san hadn’t intended for her to hear that. Though even Kyoko had noticed her hearing had become sharper these last few days. She’d dismissed it as a result of boredom though, that she’d strained her ears to pick up sounds from outside her room and down the hall.

 _“I was hoping you’d tell me the media are exaggerating when they speculate whether you’re dead or not,”_ Tsuruga-san’s voice said with guarded casualness.

“I’m not dead,” Kyoko protested, highly offended. “What makes them say that?”

_“Well, there hasn’t been any form of news from you since the incident and the information they have is getting old.”_

Tsuruga-san's voice sounded light, but Kyoko could almost see him for her inner eye, how his eyebrow tweaked at his own attempt to lighten the mood and that awkward and equally fake smile meant to hide what he really thought. It was odd, Kyoko mused. To be able to so clearly picture his face when she had troubles remembering facial details about others, had she really observed him to the point she knew his face by heart? How stupid was she not to realize that earlier? On the other hand, she could probably have drawn a perfect portrait of Sho in her sleep long before this happened, but there was a whole different reason behind _that_ and Kyoko wasn’t about to go there.

“What do you really want?” she asked slowly, carefully even, because she felt she wasn’t ready to deal with whatever this man wanted to say. On the other hand, is there really a way to prepare to face a broken dream and a memory that used to be your comfort?

_“Please forgive me, Mogami-san.”_

Kyoko swallowed. Why? Why was she suddenly filled with that familiar bitter feeling?

_“I wasn’t trying to trick you. It was never my intention to hurt you.”_

Oh really? Whether that was true or not Kyoko couldn’t find it in her to believe him.

“That was a cruel joke, Tsuruga-san,” she told him.

_“I know, Mogami-san. Please forgive me.”_

What was this? What was this cruel feeling? For some reason Kyoko wanted Tsuruga-san to hurt. The demons were dancing all around her telling her to yell and spit and scratch and claw and stomp the man’s apology into the ground.

But this was Tsuruga-san. Tsuruga-san wasn’t like Sho, because Tsuruga-san always made sure to sincerely apologize when he was wrong. Wasn’t that exactly what had gained Kyoko’s respect in the first place?

Kyoko closed her useless eyes. “Why did you lie?” she asked quietly. “Why did you deceive me for so long?”

Hearing her voice Ren clenched his fist as all his instincts told him to lie. Lie to her again. Keep the walls high and don’t let anybody in. Why? Why did every cell in his body want to keep her in the dark? She’d already seen through him . And she was asking for an honest answer.

“It was a dream,” he told her quietly, forcing the words out even though his entire existence seemed to protest. “When I met you in Kyoto, I was looking for an escape. So I started to live your dream and tried to become the fairy prince you thought I was.”

She didn’t say anything, and panic started to rise in the back of Ren’s throat. The temptation to lie was still as strong as before, and now it was joined with a need to make up a really good excuse for his behaviour and he opened his mouth and quickly closed it when he caught himself about to lie again.

“I didn’t do it to hurt you,” he said again. “If anything, I wanted to make you smile, because somehow it made me feel better inside. You were... you left such a heavy impression on me.”

Silence. Ren swallowed thickly.

“I didn’t recognize you when I met you again in Tokyo, not before I found the stone I gave you. To be honest, I was kind of flattered you’d held onto it for all this time. Then, subconsciously, my behaviour towards you changed. You probably noticed it but you never said a word, I didn’t notice though, not until Yashiro-san pointed it out to me.”

She was still quiet and Ren bit his tongue to stop himself from saying anymore, because in his way right now stood his pride that wouldn’t allow him to rant. Then his heart almost jumped out of his chest when he suddenly heard her voice again.

_“Why did you... still lie to me, even after I told you about Corn?”_

Ren had the shame to blush. He’d hoped she wouldn’t bring that up. There was one thing he simply couldn’t tell her. The reason he had lied to her and to all of Japan was...

_-“To create a new me.”-_

Ren’s eyes snapped open. That’s what Kyoko had said. That was the reason she was studying acting, and the reason she had gotten so far, why she put in so much effort into her characters.

Maybe Ren didn’t have to lie to her after all.

“I...” he started and paused, carefully choosing his words. “I came to Japan to... create a new me,” he finally admitted and used her own words. Because Ren was sure Kyoko would understand. “And once I had, I didn’t want to go back to the one I was before, so I couldn’t be honest with you. And even if I wanted to, I didn’t know how, and I didn’t want to... lose your trust.”

Once again, for a long time, Kyoko stayed silent. But this time Ren wouldn’t break it. Since Kyoko usually took a long time to think things through he didn’t want to interrupt her with another rant, even though he did feel tempted to do just that, or at least ask her to speak.

In the end Ren heard a quiet sigh. _“I see.”_ She said.

“Will you forgive me?” Ren asked again, forcing himself to talk slowly, because if he sounded too enthusiastic Kyoko would probably get angry again.

Another moment of silence before he heard her groan in what sounded a lot like frustration and it put Ren on edge not knowing if it was a good or bad sign.

_“I lied too.”_

Ren blinked. “Huh?” What in the world did she mean by that?

Kyoko continued. _“At first I just didn’t want you to know it was me, because you didn’t like me, so I couldn’t say anything. The second time I wanted to help you, but I knew you wouldn’t accept Mogami Kyoko's help.”_

If it was physically possible for question marks to appear around your head you would see more than one hanging over Ren at the moment. “Mogami-san?”

She groaned again, louder this time. _“I am Bou, the chicken who helped you with the script. I can’t talk anymore; the doctor wants his phone back. Bye.”_ She continued in a tone of controlled hurry.

In her room Kyoko turned towards the door where she had just heard Dr Kaji walk in. The aging doctor was actually only on routine check-up of the patients and poking his head in. His patient seemed to have been looking for an excuse to cut the call though, judging from her tense expression, so he didn’t argue and pressed the End Call button the blind girl couldn’t find by herself. It wasn’t good for the girl to get worked up after all.

Ren Tsuruga heard the click that broke the call. The silence that followed echoed inside his skull as one image suddenly overlapped another. Right behind the image came one feeling and one single thought.

‘An act.’

The “chicken” who had laughed straight into his face, who had taught him the basics of love, who he felt he could confide in and whose name he’d never cared to ask for.

‘An act.’

Mogami Kyoko; the girl he was in love with, who he thought he understood, who was straightforward and honest and who was so easy to read.

Mogami Kyoko, a rookie actress, had completely fooled Tsuruga Ren, whom she herself called her senior, with such a simple act.

Ren still sat with the silent cell to his ear when he slowly became aware that somebody was knocking on his door.

“Ren? Are you okay in there? Can I come in?”

It was Yashiro-san.

Looking at himself in the mirror, Ren quickly scolded his expression and patted his face back into its normal, airy look. “Yes, Yashiro-san. Please come in.”

The manager opened the door with his face a mix of concern and slight disapproval. “Ren, are you alright? I was knocking for almost a minute. Didn’t you hear me?”

“Ah, I’m sorry, Yashiro-san. I must have been drifting off.”

The other man’s frowning expression softened and he gave his charge a worried look.

“Couldn’t you talk to Kyoko-chan?”

“I could talk to her. She seemed fine. A bit bored perhaps, being confined to the hospital and all.”

Yashiro wasn’t sure what to think. Ren wore his smiling mask, trying a little too hard to hide his true feelings. The actor wasn’t going to talk about it though. However, Yashiro had been this wayward man’s manager for two years already and privately considered himself an expert of making him spill. But that could wait until they were in the car.

“So she’s alive at least. That’s a relief,” the manager let out a deep breath and smiled brighter than he had in days. It wasn’t a lie that Kyoko-chan alive and kicking was indeed a huge relief after all. The disappointment over the president’s refusal to let them see her was still there, but Yashiro completely understood the eccentric man’s reasoning, so he could bear with it. “Then I only hope things will cool down so that she can be dismissed from the hospital.”

“Yes, she hoped so too,” Ren lied before changing the subject. “Are we leaving?”

“Ah right. There is that interview for “Stars” magazine booked tomorrow. The reporter could do that right away so I called the next location to tell them we will be in an hour later,” Yashiro starts ticking off the list as they head out towards the elevator. “That pre-shot talk-show you were supposed to shoot in three days, they’d be happy to do that tonight after the one they were supposed to interview is stuck at the airport in Kyoto.”

The elevator doors closed behind them and Ren pressed the button for the basement where his car was parked. He listened intently to Yashiro’s voice, hoping it would drown out the overwhelming feeling Kyoko’s confession had caused him.

“Oh right. I turned down a commercial proposal for you.”

Ren frowned slightly, but not at his manager. “Thank you,” he told the older man sincerely. He did not do commercials anymore. Sure, he did them when he was younger and wished to never do them again.

“Anytime. Imagine it was a chicken soup commercial too. No offence Ren, but the day you can sell food is... Ren? Ren, what happened?! Your face is beet red!”

 

* * *

 

Malin had to admit that there was something special about embarrassed men, especially ones who normally wore such calm, smooth and always intriguing expressions. Sure, she didn’t know a lot about this Tsuruga Ren fellow, Japan’s most wanted actor apparently, but every single headline shouting out this very man was in love said something about his popularity. And the fact he was trying to turn and hide his face away from the nosy camera said everything about how he hadn’t intended to let this information slip.

“There is a large part of me that very much pity this man,” said Kirill who was reading over the dark woman’s shoulder.

“I hear you,” Malin acknowledged and turned to face him with a smirk and a glint of mirth mixed with pure sadism in her purple eyes. “But do agree with me; his face is pretty damn cute like this.”

“If you’re into men, he probably is. I can’t tell,” the Russian man answered without missing a beat.

Malin wasn’t discouraged. She had expected the answer and instead put the magazine back on the table where she found it. The bassist did send the man a thought of sympathy though. Media had this way of tearing couples apart, especially if only one of them was famous. For this reason Malin also sent the actor a good luck wish.

The clock just ticked past eight o’clock as Malin cast a look at it. They were currently sitting in the foyer of their hotel waiting for Sho to show up so that they could finally go pay Miss Mogami a visit. Malin was comfortably curled up on the cushions of the foyer’s few loveseats while Kirill restlessly paced around with slow steps.

Ivy had been surprisingly easy to convince to let them go this time. She had even encouraged this visit. For the first time in their career Ivy was willingly letting them off, and while Malin knew she should be perfectly shocked, she found herself almost laughing as she knew why the blind woman was doing this; to kick some action into the too slow Japanese musician. After all, in Ivy’s world they should be done with the recording by now and they didn’t even have a song yet.

Kirill was deep in thought. He’d received a call this morning from none other than Kirra. She’d been as cryptic as ever and teased him a lot through the brief call. The only thing she had said that Kirill understood was most important was; “I thought I should inform you the effects I leave behind are always temporary.” He didn’t understand what that meant, but was certain it had something to do with Mogami. In fact there was nothing else connecting him to his twin anymore, as painful as that might be.

In the middle of the foyer he stopped and looked up. Malin recognized his “here they come” look and sighed as she had to leave her comfortable spot. She would have liked to stay behind and look after the girls instead of doing this, but since she for one; was the only one who knew where Miss Mogami was, and two; was the only female of the group who knew Japanese, she had to go. Kirill was coming along for a lot of reasons, one of them being that this was his cousin everything revolved around, another was to keep Sho from chickening out. The Russian singer, who normally could let things slide, was getting increasingly irritated by their Japanese co-worker. Malin could only hope today wouldn’t end in any broken bones since they still had to work together until the new song was done and recorded, then they were free to go back to their own studio in Russia to continue their work on their next album.

Ivy was going to work them to death once they got back. Another good reason to get this Mogami business settled today once and for all.

It was Shoko who walked in to get them and as usual she only had eyes for Kirill.

“Kilill-san, good morning,” she said with little enthusiasm.

Malin smirked to herself. Oh yes, Shoko had been very much against this idea. All week she had acted funny, trying to keep all magazines and newspapers away from Sho and keep him away from TV-shows talking about the “Kyoko-incident” as the manager had labelled it. Watching Kirill go the opposite way and making Sho’s manager tear her hair out was Malin’s greatest pleasure at the moment.

“We’re ready to go,” Kirill said and opened the door for the Japanese woman.

The manager sighed “Kilill-san, are you sure this is a good idea? Sho hasn’t slept very well tonight, and we don’t even know if the hospital will let us in.”

“I’d like to see them try and stop us,” Malin called over her shoulder as she stepped outside. Shoko pursed her lips as she took in those firm, tanned legs under a plain, short white skirt, the Lee slim rider jacket over a dark purple strapless top to match her eyes. Hair held back by a blue headband. Shoko was still a little jealous over both Malin and Yuni’s lack of effort in looking like they needed hours getting ready when in reality they spent twenty minutes each in front of the mirror (she’d watched them do it). They were going to a hospital for crying out loud. The woman didn’t have to look like a superstar all the time just because she was one.

Sighing to herself in quiet exasperation Shoko followed the Egyptian woman out the door Kirill was still holding up for her and took the lead towards her car where Sho had sunk so deeply into the front seat and his jacket he seemed to have shrunk. Or at least made a gallant effort to do so.

Sho did not want to do this. He didn’t want to visit Kyoko. She’d just be angry with him again and ask him to go away. Her family was good at that after all; pushing people away. Kyoko’s mother had always pushed Kyoko away, and now Kyoko was doing the same thing to Sho. Him who had always been her best friend, who had lived with her and done his best to involve her in games wild enough for her to forget everything about her mother. Him who had worried about her and not wanted her to cry.

Krill didn’t need his sixth sense to know what the Japanese pop star thought. He ignored the pleading look the manager woman sent him to not do this and instead leaned forward and wrapped his long arms around the back of Sho’s seat. The teenager stiffened when he felt the hands on his shoulders.

“If we not do this you will stay this way,” the Russian man informed the younger. “You wish to stand tall before your fans, I am right?”

Sho stubbornly turned his face away from the elder and decided it was best not to answer. It should be obvious anyway.

“Good. Then we go. You have the map, Malin.”

“I’m looking for it,” the dark-skinned woman said from where she was digging through her purse. She picked up something, realized it was only a flyer she’d picked up somewhere and dropped it back. Next try was luckier and she made a sound of triumph as she held the map in front of her before showing it to Shoko.

“Here we go,” the bassist couldn’t help but say as their car joined the late morning traffic.

 

* * *

 

Dr Kaji was fifty-eight years and seven months old and had spent the past year thinking about when she should retire. When the singer of his son’s favourite band came up the staircase pulling a Japanese celebrity with him that Kaji couldn’t name right away, he thought that right now would have been a nice time to just hang up his coat and go home for good. All these uptight stars walking around as if they owned the world... Kaji wished his life wasn’t full of them.

Taking on his role as head of the department Kaji planted himself in the middle of the hallway. “I’m sorry youngsters, but visiting hours haven’t opened yet,” he told the men, managing the difficult act to look reproachfully _up_ at the blond man with tattoos on his face who stopped in front of him.

“I’m very sorry we bother you,” the tall man said with a foreign accent and a respectful bow. “We hope to see Mogami.”

Kaji was about to deny them access when two men from security suddenly hurried up behind the men and grabbed their arms. One of them turned to Kaji.

“We’re terribly sorry doctor, these people just walked right in. We were so surprised we couldn’t catch them right away.”

“I have yet to change my opinion about this hospital.”

The aging doctor blinked and looked around for who spoke because it couldn’t be any of the men before him.

“I am sorry, jou-san, but you will have to follow the rules,” the other security man said to someone who stood behind the two celebrities.

Kaji glanced around them and found a young woman with dark skin, pale blond hair and darkened purple eyes. He knew her very well. She was the one who had come looking for Mogami-san the day after she was brought to this hospital. Kaji hadn't dare mention it to his son.

“I see, so you brought your friends along this time around,” the doctor said with a tired sigh.

The woman blinked surprised at him. Well, she hadn’t been perfectly attentive last time she was here, so it was no surprise she wouldn’t recognize him right away. It actually took her several seconds.

“Oh! You’re the doctor who helped me last time.” She gave him a lopsided, apologetic smile. “I’m sorry for my behaviour back then. And for barging in today.”

Kaji huffed tiredly. “I’m the one who said you could come back to visit your friend, so I suppose I just have to let you see her now don’t I, or I would be dishonest.”

“We will be real quick. I’m sorry to bother you. How is she doing?”

The security guards fidgeted, glancing uncertainly at each other and at Dr Kaji. The old man sighed and made a calming gesture with his hand.

“I gave this woman permission to come here before. I will take responsibility. Please go back to your posts. I’m sorry for the trouble.”

They immediately let go of the two men and bowed to their superior before leaving, although not without glancing over their shoulders.

“Mogami-san is doing fine,” Kaji answered the woman’s question. “She’s slowly coming to terms with her situation. However, I suggest you see her one at a time. She easily grows confused.”

“I...” she started a protest but a nudge from the foreign man made her change her mind. “We will do that. Thank you for your help,” she said instead.

The old doctor nodded and showed the visitors to the waiting room where Malin stayed.

“Only one, if you please,” Kaji repeated when both the men started to follow him.

“Of course, I just shove this coward inside and I leave.”

By now Sho’s face was white and his eyes widened in slight panic. “I can’t let her see me like this,” he blurted out and tried to take his arm back from Kirill’s hard grip. How could such a delicate-looking hand be so strong?!

“That is not a problem. The poor girl is blind,” the doctor calmly informed them.

Sho’s face paled further, but this time for a different reason. His voice was very quiet when he spoke again. “What did you say?”

Instead of answering the doctor stopped by a window and looked inside. In there, sitting by a low table, sat Kyoko with a child’s puzzle. Sho watched as his old friend felt around the large piece in her hand and over the board as if she really couldn’t see either of them. Her face was set in that familiar frown of concentration as she tried to fit the piece into a slot, not managing right away and instead she felt around the edges again.

Kyoko was blind.

Finally fitting the piece into its slot Kyoko let the frown slip for a second, the only show of victory she felt before she picked up the next piece to repeat the process with her eyes staring at nothing.

She was really blind.

Kirill wondered if this is what Ivy had looked like after she lost her eyes. It was a scary thought. Ivy wasn’t this vulnerable. Kirill didn’t want to think of her as such, but seeing Mogami like this, with eyes uselessly staring right ahead as she tried to use her hands to see for her, the Russian singer had to realize Ivy must have looked like this too at one time.

Mogami had almost died with her eyes the prize to pay for her life. Maybe, Kirill thought, just maybe... well, he’d thought about it for all this time, but maybe he would dare suggest it after all?

The doctor moved towards the door and pushed it open. Through the window Sho and Kirill saw Kyoko stop moving and lift her gaze, not to look at the door, but show she knew someone had just walked into the room.

“Mogami-san, you have some early guests,” the doctor informed her.

The girl smiled. “Moko-san?”

“I’m afraid not. Will you see them?”

There was a flash of disappointment on her face, but it was gone as fast as it appeared.

“Okay. Who is it?”

Kirill pushed the younger man through the door and Sho let out a yelp and a protest.

Kyoko’s eyes widened considerably. She knew this voice. She’d spent most of her life listening to it. But why? Why?

“Sho?” she called quietly. A large section of her existence wanted to think she was wrong. But for some reason- some inexplainable and painful reason- she hoped that it really was him. It didn’t make sense. It sickened her. But a tiny little part of her desperately wanted to see Sho.

Sho couldn’t even find it in him to curse anymore. Not Kirill, not Malin, not that doctor... he couldn’t even curse Kyoko. She was the only person in the world who could make him feel helpless, and then what had made him angry didn’t matter anymore.

“How are you feeling?” he asked quietly.

“I try not to dwell on it,” she answered just as quietly, but with a bitter edge.

Once again the room filled with silence. Both wanted the other to talk, say anything at all, because even if they somehow wanted to reach out for each other there was a wall between them none of them could penetrate.

Sho remembered the news. Poisoned by an actress she worked with. Attempted murder.

_"Mogami is dead.”_

The teen shivered. “What happened?” he asked, because he couldn’t stand the silence anymore and he had to hear her voice, because he didn’t have the courage to look at her.

Kyoko thought for some time. Was it really worth it to tell Sho what had really happened? Everything about her mother, the Black Goddess and the drugs? She didn’t think so. Sho had nothing to do with her family matter. After all, even if she had wanted to become his family, a dream was all it was, and her dreams were all dust now.

“It was a misunderstanding,” she said instead. Because wasn’t that what it was? Wasn’t that what her mother had said?

_“I never wished to hurt you.”_

“A misunderstanding?” Sho parroted with disbelief. “You nearly died due to a _misunderstanding_?!”

Kyoko blinked. It sounded like Sho was getting seriously upset, as if this that had happened to her had actually bothered him. Why? Wasn’t he the one who had thrown her aside and left? All the times they’d run into each other and his every attempt to bother her as much as he could…

But then there was that time in Karuizawa. Sho had acted like he cared back then too.

“Why do you care?” she asked warily.

“Of course I care!” Sho retorted loudly and finally turned around. “You’re my best friend! We grew up together dammit! I don’t want you to disappear!”

Only after Sho registered what he’d just blurted out he realized he was looking straight at Kyoko’s face. It was almost funny how she could look amazed, suspicious and absolutely disbelieving all at the same time.

Feeling how hot his face grew, Sho was suddenly, if only for a moment, happy his childhood friend couldn’t see him. She’d always been able to tell how he felt no matter how hard he tried to conceal his feelings. She always saw through his walls with a single look.

“Are you really blind?” he asked, wanting to hear her confirm it herself, because surely she wouldn’t lie to him.

Kyoko no longer knew what to think. Blurting out such a thing, claiming she was his best friend and didn’t want her gone. What was this utter frustration she heard in his voice? But his last question... she could easily see his ashamed face through the sound of his voice. He really wasn’t playing games with her, even though he had the perfect chance now that she had lost everything.

Everything...

“Yes,” she answered quietly. “All I see is darkness.”

“Why? What does your mother have to do with all this?”

Instantly Kyoko flinched, and the horror on her face shocked Sho too. “What do you know about that?” she breathed.

Sho bit his lip. He realized Kyoko thought he was completely unaware, and in all honesty he wished he was. But where did he begin? What did he really know anyway? And why was he asking when he really didn’t want to know any more?

“For the past month, I’ve been working with that Russian band. You know? _The Dead Saints_?”

Kyoko nodded. She knew them. Sky-kun was one of them. And that woman with dark skin and pale hair who had also been there to pick up their child after… After she’d seen that man with a heart that was as broken as hers.

“Their lead singer is named Kilill-san. He told me recently his uncle is your dad, and he’s been keeping an eye on you, or something.”

It wasn’t the first time this year Kyoko heard somebody speak about a father she’d never even known. But this was Sho, and to hear him talk about her father was just plain strange.

Wait. Sho was working with someone whose uncle was Kyoko’s father?! Wouldn’t that mean she actually had family besides her mother? For real? Wait, if her dad was someone’s uncle then that someone would be…

“I have a cousin?”

Sho looked back at his old friend. He hadn’t really thought of it before, but now that he heard Kyoko say it he suddenly realized it too; if Kyoko had family besides her mother then…

She wouldn’t need him anymore.

Well, wasn’t that what he’d wanted? And even if it was true it didn’t change anything. Even if Kilill-san got to know Kyoko now and became her friend it didn’t change the fact it was Sho who had grown up taking care of her and been her friend.

“Apparently,” he said at last. He didn’t want to admit that the Russian man had mentioned he had a sister in town as well. Two was more competition than Sho could take at the moment.

For Kyoko, knowing she had a cousin at all was a little overwhelming. “Who is my cousin?” she asked.

This was not what the teenage pop star wanted to talk about. Well, he hadn’t known what he’d want to say to her at all this morning but that was beside the point. This was about him and Kyoko, not Kyoko and someone else!

“He’s here too; he’ll come to see you later. More importantly Kyoko, you didn’t answer my question.”

It took a moment for the girl to try to think of what Sho had asked before, and even then she was ashamed to say she couldn’t recall it.

“What question?”

She heard Sho growl deep in his chest. What was troubling him now? The only times he sounded like that was when the attention was brought away from him… Oh right, she’d started to ask about another man. Of course Sho would react like that.

“What does your _mother_ have to do with all this?” Sho repeated his question with emphasis.

“What do you even know about my mother?” Kyoko retorted.

“She was assigned to design the outfit for my PM with _The Dead Saints_ and she gave me a letter from my mom.”

“You ran away from home! Of course your parents would use any means to give you a piece of their mind!”

“Ha! They only asked me to come home if I ever grew tired of this life. They only asked me to send _you_ back.”

They were heading straight for another argument and they both knew it, and to be frank they welcomed the fight. While Kyoko wasn’t normally a person who argued with others, she couldn’t deny that fighting with Sho like this made her feel more alive than she’d felt in a long time. Sho had spent the past week digging a hole inside himself where he could hide every frightened feeling the thought of Kyoko’s death caused him. Fighting with her now, hearing her answer to his voice and tone and see the way her nose scrunched up and mouth dropped and the spark in her eyes as her temper got the better of her, it was all the reassurance he needed. Kyoko would be fine. Her cursing him was just as imaginatively obnoxious as it had been before. At this very moment she was her old self.

They had just started making jabs about their different food habits when the door opened and a less than pleased doctor Kaji cleared his throat. “I must ask you to lower your voices, or for you to leave, young man. You are scaring the other patients.”

The enemies glared at each other. For a blind woman Kyoko’s glare was just as hot as it had always been.

Sho sighed and sat back. When had he gotten down to the floor? He wasn’t sure but it was better than bending over to look Kyoko in the eyes.

Kyoko had half a mind to tell her doctor Sho was just leaving, another part of her hoped Sho would just get up and leave. But that microscopically tiny little part of her that had been happy Sho had come had now grown in size, and now it kept her mouth shut.

It was Sho who spoke up. “Sorry. We’re almost done. Five more minutes.”

The doctor gave a long sigh that sounded as much as a growl.

“I’ll clock you,” he warned the pop star before he left.

Left alone once again with the tension still crackling like electricity around them Sho fought to remember what it was he wanted Kyoko to tell him.

Kyoko hadn’t forgotten though, and she still wondered if it was a good idea to let Sho in on it. After all, it would trouble him…

The girl let out a long-suffering sigh when she realized exactly what she was thinking. After all this time she still didn’t want to trouble Sho with her family business. All this time she’d thought she’d made progress and grown away from her feelings for this man and this was as far as she had come?

“Kyoko?”

Her useless eyes glanced up at his voice. It sounded as if he wouldn’t be resting well unless she eased his mind. Why did she even want to soothe him? Did she still nurture that stupid habit? She really hadn’t gotten anywhere.

“The misunderstanding was between mother and me. She said she wanted to protect me, but it backfired.”

“That’s it?”

A muscle in Kyoko’s eyebrow twitched by a sudden feeling of déjà vu.

“She wanted me to leave showbiz. We had a few arguments and at last I lost my breath to fight her anymore.”

The boy in front of her was silent for some time, probably thinking. Kyoko hoped he wouldn’t ask about the poisoning. She didn’t want to tell him anything about it. Whatever the media had thought up about it was all he needed to know, and she was going to be alright, wasn’t she?

“So what are you going to do now?”

Before Kyoko got the chance to even think of an answer the door opened again.

“Your five minutes are up.”

Sho glared over his shoulder, and immediately regretted it. The doctor’s mismatched eyes were too strong and displeased for Sho to dare go against him. That’s why he reluctantly stood and dusted off his pants before he went to leave.

“I don’t know.”

He froze in the door. Of all the things she could have told him. Sho couldn’t even come up with any sort of comeback, so he just left without a word and went back to the waiting room where Malin and Kirill waited for them. Malin only glanced up from her magazine but Kirill stood.

“If you upset her more I must ask you to leave,” the old doctor warned the Russian man.

“I understand. Don’t worry. I only need a short time.”

Kaji looked into the man’s blue eyes and decided he did believe him. This man seemed more mature than the other one.

“She is upset already, so don’t test your luck, son.”

“Certainly. I will behave.”

Not completely convinced, Kaji still showed the way. Hopefully this one wouldn’t start an argument with the poor girl. Getting her angry and more frustrated than she already was about her situation was very much not what she needed.

She hadn’t moved since he left her, and it seemed the aftermath of the argument had settled in.

“Don’t worry, doctor,” the tall man suddenly spoke. “I will try cheer her up.”

“Please do. The rest of us have already failed.”

The man just nodded and knocked on the door.

“Come in?”

Stepping inside Kirill didn’t hesitate to walk right up to the girl and sit in front of her.

“Good day Miss Mogami. My name is Kirill.”

She blinked and frowned slightly with a glint of recognition in her eyes.

“Are you my cousin?”

“So Fuva told you about me?” Kirill smiled.

“Mentioned you,” the girl corrected quietly, suddenly appearing to be shyer and averting her gaze even though she obviously couldn’t see anything. Old habits die hard it seemed.

“I see. Well, have your mother informed you of what happened to your father as well? My uncle?”

She only nodded.

“Good. That saves me the trouble of telling you the story again. So? Do you want to know why I am here?”

Kyoko looked up. Yes, she did want to know why this person was here. Actually, she wished she could get a good look at his face. She wanted to know who this person was.

“I am used to blind people,” he suddenly told her. “You can use your hands and touch my face if you wish. If it makes you uncomfortable though, will you take my hand instead?”

The girl let out a breath that had gotten stuck in her throat when this person suggested she touched his face. She had never met this man before, how could he suggest something like that! It was way too bold for a modest Japanese person. The hand felt a lot safer and she lifted her own hands to accept his.

It was a big, warm hand that landed in hers, with the same calluses as Sho got from his guitar playing.

“So you’re a musician?” she asked timidly. Sho had said something about it. Right, Sho was working with this person, so of course he would work with music, but it was something else.

“Yes. I am guitarist and vocalist of our band, _Mertvye Svjatye_. Though you might know us as _The Dead Saints_.”

Mertvye…

In a flash Kyoko realized she had seen this man before. He wasn’t a total stranger. He and a young girl with mismatching eyes had appeared _on Totally Wild Rock_ when the band first came to Japan.

“Do… do you have tattoos on your face?” she asked.

“Yes?”

“And you are blond?”

For Kirill this was actually a pleasant surprise. So she did have some sort of memory of him. Of course every Japanese person reacted to his tattoos. Some make-up artists flatly refused to go near him.

“Yes. I am blond,” he answered her.

She smiled, seemingly relieved about something, and she hadn’t let go of his hand yet. Well it didn’t bother Kirill in the slightest.

“I would like to meet you under different circumstances though. I am sorry this happened to you,” he said sincerely.

“No, it’s okay. This isn’t your fault. Please don’t apologize.”

Oh if only she knew how wrong she was. Kirill decided to go straight to what he had really come to say. “I am aware you have trouble now. You are blind from the poison, yes?”

“Y…yes,” she confirmed quietly.

“What will you do now? Your mother take care of you?”

Her mother? That was a possibility Kyoko hadn’t even contemplated. Would her mother take care of her? She hadn’t come back since her confession.

“I don’t know,” she answered after a while.

“I understand. Then… I have a suggestion.”

“Huh?” What did he say?

“Of course, you are free to do as you please. Me and my band would like to take care of you. After we finish business here in Japan, we go back to Russia. You can come too.”

To Russia? Her mother’s story rung in her ears and Kyoko fidgeted.

“Mother won’t like that,” she told her cousin. It felt strange to think of him like that.

“I know,” Kirill nodded. “I understand her feelings. But I think it will be good to you.”

“I am blind,” the Japanese girl blurted out next.

Kirill smiled. “The one who gave you the drugs, her name be Kirra, am I right.”

Kyoko froze and once again her eyes widened with horror.

“Yes, I am aware,” Kirill said softly. “It doesn’t really matter, but Kirra is my twin sister.”

The information gained him a look of pure shock mixed with the lingering horror in the girl’s eyes.

“Yes, I know. Very long story even I don’t know. But she called me this morning. She said the effect is only temporary.”

“The… effect?”

“Yes,” Kirill confirmed. “It might take some time, maybe even a year, and you might not fully recover, but your blindness is temporary. So, knowing this. What will you do about your future?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up is the epologue!


	30. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm terribly sorry it took so long to update this, but I got my internet back and running only yesterday... anyway, here it is now. I'm sorry if this doesn't bring as much closure as you might have liked.

Shiva Io stepped out of the taxi, left her manager behind to pay for the ride and started straight for director Akira Sou.

“Ah, Shiva-san. Good thing you could make it. I trust the journey was safe?” the round man greeted the northern actress humbly.

“I am getting used to these little trips, director, though I must admit one-day trips are tiring, and I had to force my schedule open to make it.”

“My apologies Shiva-san,” was all Sou could really say. This was a last minute shot on a short notice to all of them, even to him. He had spent the entire day before gathering as many of the original staff as possible, and then call his superior for people to fill the gaps. Then of course the actors had to make it as well. Not all of them could make it, but at least the three most important people would all be gathered here shortly, the missing people would be filled in by statists. There would be very little dialogue in this scene, which was good. As long as they didn’t film the crowd too closely they could get away with it.

“Is Kyoko-chan here yet?” Shiva asked tensely as she started to move towards a trailer by the edge of the site where the people were buzzing around to fix the stage with the assistant director supervising everything for the moment.

“Not yet. She was only released from the hospital today and she called me an hour ago saying she just wanted to go home and see her guardians first.”

“I see. Please let me know when she arrives.”

“Of course, Shiva-san.”

Entering the trailer Shiva found the familiar face of the woman who had done her make-up for this move all this time.

“Shiva-san, welcome. I’m glad you could make it,” she greeted and immediately prepared the chair and tools she needed.

“Thank you, Tsubaki-san. How is your son?”

“Oh, he’s doing a lot better. He finally broke up with that horrible girl and it’s clear to see on his grades. I certainly hope he won’t get caught by another blood-slug who will suck all life out of him again.”

Tsubaki kept up her idle chat for a moment before she started with the details on Shiva’s face. It would take longer than normal today, because the scene they were playing was Aiko’s funeral. Shiva had to look like she’d been crying for days.

Shiva closed her eyes as she was left to her own thoughts, following Tsubaki’s directions to tilt her head this way or that way on autopilot. There was still a bit of a heavy knot in her stomach ever since Kyoko-chan’s poisoning. Shiva had had nightmares about it, had developed a bit of an eating disturbance and felt constantly edgy. Her family had done their best to help her and Shiva couldn’t be more grateful for their support and love. Some of the people she worked with were a lot less considerate. Shiva had been forced to cancel a job because she couldn’t take the gossip and questioning anymore. At least the director had understood.

“Shiva-san, please relax your forehead,” Tsubaki’s voice broke through her thoughts. The actress apologized and relaxed best she could.

“Are you thinking of Kyoko-san?”

The question caught Shiva by surprise and she opened her eyes to glance at the woman behind her through the mirror. Tsubaki-san smiled sadly at her.

“When the director called me yesterday he told me Kyoko-san would be released from the hospital today and that we had to film this last scene now or never. He sounded stressed, the director, so I didn’t dare ask if Kyoko-san was really alright now. The news has been all over Tsuruga-san trying to make him reveal who his secret love is.”

Shiva didn’t say anything at first, especially not since her thoughts were momentarily centred on the male star and what she thought of him, which was better left unsaid.

“Kyoko-chan is a lucky girl,” she said at length. “I don’t know why he was there, but it was lucky the L.M.E president showed up. It was lucky he took care of her, and it was very lucky she got treated in time.”

“Yes,” Tsubaki quietly agreed, her eyes very said and most likely thinking of someone else who hadn’t been as lucky. “It kind of makes me wonder how many guardian angels she has, that Kyoko-san.”

“Who knows, who knows,” Shiva sighed deeply. “All I know is how glad I am she didn’t die. Right in front of my eyes. I wish I had been more suspicious about what Hoshisawa-san was up to.”

“Perhaps, but that’s no way of living,” Tsubaki shared her firm opinion and continued her work. “Suspecting everyone to be up to no good is a very lonely life. I think you couldn’t have done any more than you did. It was hardly your fault it happened either.”

Shiva listened, and for some reason her heart felt a little lighter, even though it was basically what her family had told her too. Perhaps it was the firm tone the other woman was using, or it was her specific choice of words, but it made Shiva believe it.

“Thank you, Tsubaki-san,” the actress said sincerely.

The other woman smiled widely. “You can pay me back with your autograph.”

Shiva laughed along. “I promise.”

And with that, feeling a lot lighter at heart than she had upon arriving, Shiva Io relaxed in her seat as Tsubaki finished the make-up. It didn’t take very long, Tsubaki was a pro after all, and when Shiva stepped out of the trailer she was met by the assisting director.

“Oh, Shiva-san, you’re ready. Good. Kyoko-san just arrived. I was told to inform you right away.”

“Thank you,” the actress nodded and immediately spotted the small crowd off to the side of the filming area. Kyoko stood there with her head spinning in every direction and her arm hooked with a tense nurse. It looked like the two of them were bombarded with questions and the protective streak in Shiva immediately awoke with full force.

Walking closer with long strides the northern actress started to pick up some of the questions as well as the director’s voice trying to call for some order but too few paid him any mind.

Shiva’s manager stood back with a heavy sigh, knowing what was about to happen but trusting his charge to not become violent. Shiva possessed both charisma and an authority that normally had people obey her, she just didn’t use it unless she deemed necessary.

“I hope what you are doing here is important enough to delay the shot, because I have a plane to catch later today and I would like to have finished my business here before it leaves.”

People silenced and stared at her. Shiva didn’t back down. Her glare was fixed on the director who was trying to loosen his tie as if it was strangling him. The nurse by Kyoko’s side was looking at Shiva with an odd mix of awe, gratefulness and wariness. Kyoko though looked… well, she wasn’t looking at Shiva. Rather it seemed like the young girl was searching for the source of the voice the way her eyes flickered around.

Director Sou nervously cleared his throat. “Thank you, Shiva-san. Mogami-chan, would you please go to the trailer to start your make-up and I’ll make sure to send you your lines in a moment.”

“Hai,” Kyoko answered easily, but the poor nurse looked lost. It was clear she had never been to a filming location before and now her head whirled around, glancing between the many trailers standing around. The director had already left them so she couldn’t ask him where he meant them to go, and when they didn’t move right away Kyoko got confused.

“Mori-san? What’s wrong?”

Now very near panic the nurse suddenly looked at Shiva who was still watching them with growing concern. The northern actress quietly gestured for them to follow her. She led them back to the trailer she’d just left and poked her head in.

“Tsubaki-san, Kyoko-chan is here.”

“Oh, good. Come on in, Kyoko-chan,” the make-up artist called and picked up the things to start with.

“The stairs are high, Kyoko-chan,” the nurse warned carefully, and only now Shiva noticed the younger actress held a white stick in her free hand.

A blind person’s stick.

So that’s why Kyoko-chan hadn’t looked at her and needed a nurse to take her from place to place. This is what had happened to her.

The memory of the young girl falling out of the chair during her last scene replayed before Shiva’s inner eye and the guilt welled up inside her once again. If only she could have done something.

“You are not to blame.”

“Eh?”

The nurse had helped Kyoko-chan inside the trailer and now stood outside with Shiva, on a safe distance. She smiled nervously at the actress.

“Your expression just now. You blame yourself for Kyoko-chan’s situation.”

Shiva gave the other woman a look and decided she was probably dutiful but not necessarily trustworthy enough to tell the whole story to.

“I was there when it happened,” she told the nurse curtly to show she didn’t want to talk about it.

“Oh. Well, even so, you shouldn’t blame yourself. It was not your doing was it?”

How many times had Shiva heard that line by now? Not enough apparently, but this nurse didn’t possess the ability to make Shiva believe her and her nervousness on the matter made the comforting words sound rather empty. For some reason that made the corners of Shiva’s mouth to twist upwards and she smirked slightly at the nurse.

“You need to practice on that line, young lady. I don’t believe a single word of what you said and am not comforted by them.”

The nurse’s face reddened, with shame or anger or both. Shiva strangely couldn’t find it in her to care. Tsubaki-san, a make-up artist had had almost the same thing but Shiva had believed her. Probably, she realized in retrospect, because Tsubaki had experienced it herself. The look on the woman’s face and the weight her words carried, it was obvious she knew what she was talking about.

A staff member strode up to the women with a stack of paper under his arm.

“Your lines Shiva-san,” he said quietly and glanced towards the open trailer. “Is Kyoko-san in there?”

“I can take care of her lines,” the nurse quickly spoke and raised her hand expecting to receive the paper bundle. “She’s blind, and even if you had a blind-script copy for her she couldn’t read it anyway,” she continued to answer the look the man sent her.

The man stood stock still for a moment, but then he handed over the thin bundle of papers to the nurse and left without a word. Shiva watched him leave before glancing over at the nurse to see her glancing over the words with a slight frown on her face.

It was her manager who stepped forward and Shiva was only a little surprised, though she realized she shouldn’t be. Her manager was an uptight man who took work very seriously, and if there was something he couldn’t stand watching it was people being uncertain about a work detail like this.

“Do you need help?” he asked politely and the nurse jumped slightly as she hadn’t seen him coming.

“Uh, whi-which directions are Kyoko-chan’s?” she asked quietly, clearly embarrassed about this problem seeing she’d practically ordered to be given the papers.

Shiva’s manager didn’t call attention to it though and instead explained Kyoko was to follow the directions of “Aiko”. He also pointed out how odd it was that there was no kind of markings to help find the directions and lines even though the papers clearly had Kyoko’s name written on them.

Shiva decided not to comment. The reason Aiko’s lines weren’t marked was probably because that staff member had confused Mogami Kyoko with the other Kyoko. Her manager probably had the same thought if the slight pause and hurried suggestion he helped mark Aiko’s lines was anything to go by. It made the northern actress smile a little. Sure, her manager was uptight and all about business, but that meant that as long as he was breathing he would never gossip about people or share something he deemed was somebody’s personal business and nobody else’s.

It was either policy or principles, either way Shiva appreciated it.

The nurse appreciated the manager’s help and after carefully marking every line of words and actions read them all thoroughly. Shiva stood on the other side of the door to the trailer reading her own directions just as carefully. It would be the emotionally hardest scene for her, and she couldn’t help but wonder how Kyoko would fare. How could she act when she was blind?

“Mori-san.”

Both women turned to the trailer to find Kyoko standing there with a pale complexion and dressed in a traditional white dress any Japanese would associate with ghosts.

Mori was obviously the name of the nurse Shiva realized when said woman stepped up the high steps to the trailer and gently touched the young actress’s hand. She then reached a hand just inside the door and took out the white stick and slipped the band around Kyoko’s wrist.

It was interesting to see really, even though Shiva felt a little prick of guilt about it. The nurse, still with her hand resting lightly on Kyoko’s stepped aside as much as she could as Kyoko used the stick to find the edge of the stairs and then measure the height of the step before she stepped down.

“That was good, Kyoko-chan,” the nurse praised once the girl had both feet on the ground. “I have your lines for the scene. Shall we go over them?”

“Yes,” Kyoko answered with confidence and the nurse went right on with it.

Thirty minutes later the stage was set, everybody in the costumes and ready for a test shot. Kyoko didn’t seem nervous. In fact she looked a lot calmer than Shiva had ever seen her before. It was strange. For someone who had lost their sight and according to rumours was quitting as an actress, Kyoko looked so at ease.

Everyone took their positions around the newly turned soil and the tombstone with Aiko’s name on it. Shiva inhaled deeply, imagined how she would feel if this was her own daughter’s grave, and let the air out.

“Ending scene test take. Action.”

 

_The priest’s voice was monotone and deep. He spoke words that would calm my daughter’s soul, so that she would find peace and not be stuck on earth to wander as a ghost._

_All the people standing around me, I can feel how they avoid me. All of them. But why should I care about them leaving me too? I already lost my husband, and I couldn’t even keep my daughter. I couldn’t even control my anger and let it all out on her. My daughter. My daughter._

_The priest’s voice stops talking as he finishes his last prayer. People are leaving. They are leaving. They all came here to say their last goodbyes, but that’s not true. They should have been there when she was alive, not when she was dead. She didn’t need them now. She needed them when she was alive!_

_“Touko.”_

_I turn my face away from the name on the stone. He is still here. My husband. Her father. I should be angry at him, but somehow I can’t muster the energy._

_“Why did she have to die?” I ask him. “Just because I couldn’t show her enough love, why did she have to die?”_

_He just stares at me with those dull, pained eyes. He looks so guilty. Good. He should be guilty. He wasn’t there for her either._

_“She was a child,” he says. “Always a child. We just failed to realize, and thought she could take care of herself.”_

_Then he turns away and leaves. He just leaves. Just like that he can turn his back even on his own daughter’s grave._

_“Mother.”_

_My breath gets stuck in my throat. Aiko. She’s here. She looks exactly like when I last saw her. Her eyes are so dull. Her face is so full of pain and despair. Was it me? Did I really do this to her?_

_“Did you ever love me, mother?”_

_I look straight into her eyes through my blurred vision, thinking of her life that I had been watching over, trying to be a part of it as much as I could._

_“I love you more than my own life,” I told her. “I’m sorry I could never prove it to you.”_

_Her face relaxes, the pain and despair eases from her features, and she smiles at me._

 

“Cut. That’s perfect. Back to your positions. We’ll begin filming now, starting with the close ups. Mogami-chan, how are you?”

Shiva turned to find that nurse loyally standing by Kyoko’s side, like a guardian. She really was dutiful, that girl.

“I’m fine, director. Should I move?”

“Yes please. You can step off the stage for now.”

The nurse led Kyoko to where a staff member was quietly showing they could stand. Shiva took a moment to go and talk to her while the two make-up artists fixed the tearstains on some of the statists’ faces. She would just be waiting for her turn anyway.

“Kyoko-chan.”

The girl looked up from the water bottle she’d been given. It only took a few seconds for her to recognize her voice.

“Shiva-san?”

“Yes. I’m sorry to bother you.”

“Not at all,” the younger girl smiled.

Shiva regarded her for a moment. Kyoko really looked genuinely calm. So much so that all the times this girl had smiled in the past seemed strained and fake.

“You look… very at ease,” the northern actress said after a while.

“I feel at ease,” Kyoko answered. “It’s true,” she continued as if she could sense Shiva’s disbelief. “Ever since my mother came back and told me she didn’t want me to work as an actress I have felt pressured and stressed out. Even after she explained why, I only felt worse. But then I met a certain someone. He managed to remind me of what _I_ want. What I _really_ want. And what can I say? I’ve never felt so free in my life.”

Shiva stared. Kyoko looked so sincere and her smile was so happy. Even blind, even after everything that had happened to her, how could she have found peace?

“So…” she asked hesitatingly, full of trepidation but curious as well. “What is it that you want?”

Kyoko smiled widely. “To create a new me,” she said proudly. “Because Mogami Kyoko is a real person, and I will not let anyone forget that.”

“Kyoko-chan?”

The girl smiled at her. “All my life I have lived to please others, did everything I could for them, let them do anything to me because I thought it meant they acknowledged me. But that’s not true. That’s not a real person, that’s just a toy that can be disposed. That’s why I’m leaving.”

Shiva blinked. Her eyes had widened considerably while she listened. This girl in front of her was really not the same as she had been during the entire time Shiva had known her. This was someone much stronger, much more confident and so very inspiring.

Then Shiva registered what Kyoko had just said. “You’re leaving?”

“Yup. I’m going to Russia.”

“Shiva-san, get your make-up fixed and return to stage!” the director called.

 

* * *

 

Tokyo airport felt crowded, even if there were probably not more people here today than any other day. Lory Takarada, dressed as a pilot in honour of the day with a very quiet Maria by his side, was here to wave off Mogami Kyoko as she started what she called “her new life”. Lory actually agreed with her. It was a month since Kyoko was released from the hospital and she’d used the time to talk to people and listen to them. She’d spent as much time as she could with her mother, and while Saena apparently wasn’t thrilled over the idea of letting Kyoko go to Russia, she hadn’t put up much of a fight either. Actually, Lory had heard, she’d relented after talking to Kirill-san, the male vocalist of _The Dead Saints_. But then again, that man was a nephew of Kyoko’s father, so maybe he’d known how to reassure the woman.

Kyoko had also spent time with the three guys from _Bridge Rock_ and it appeared some misunderstandings had been properly cleared up, and while the boys were sad to see her go they wished her good luck as well.

Proper time had also been spent with the people Kyoko had lived with up until now. Kyoko had admitted she had been unfair to them and their feelings. Apparently the couple had cared for Kyoko almost as if she belonged to their family and Kyoko had only seen them as very open hosts.

More time had been spent with the other two members of Love-Me. Lory would lie if he said he wasn’t worried about them. Even though the three girls weren’t interacting that much together they were still somewhat a team and had helped each other out quite a bit with their individual problems. Kotonami-chan had actually wanted to be here to say goodbye and Lory wasn’t a hundred percent sure why she wasn’t. Even though Kyoko told him they already had said their goodbyes he had thought Kotonami would have wanted to be here anyway.

Lory glanced around himself at the group. There was Mogami Kyoko at the side of a man he’d been told was a friend of _The Dead Saints’_ keyboarder who also was blind. Apparently they had called him exclusively to help take care of Kyoko since the band members could take care of their own blind member just fine.

There were also the members of _The Dead Saints_ , either seated or standing. The blind woman was among the ones standing with the bleach blonde Egyptian woman sitting at her side entertaining a small girl, perhaps five years old, with a storybook.

Yuni Sky was there too, looking as perfect and beautiful as ever, even when dressed in a red tee and knee-length jean shorts. Lory didn’t have to question how this short woman could have become a world famous model. A picture taken of her right now with the sunlight falling over her from the wide windows could have made a cover image for almost any magazine. The tall man sitting by her side with a nine-year old in his lap conversing quietly didn’t ruin the image either. The three of them looked exotic enough together to get Lory’s imagination running at least a little. Just from looking at them Lory could probably write a very passionate love drama if he let his imagination free, but current circumstances restrained his thoughts.

The man by Kyoko’s side caught his eye, and he seemed to understand what Lory wanted because he said something to Kyoko before he led her over to him and stepped back.

“How are you, Mogami-chan?” Lory asked.

“I’m really nervous,” the girl admitted. “When I decided to do this I started imagining what Russia would be like, but only now I realize I won’t be able to see it. It’s a little depressing actually.”

“You regret it?”

“No,” Kyoko shook her head negative. “Because you see, president, I’ve talked a lot with the band members. They are very insightful. I understand Ivy-san is blind too, and I don’t think I have met a more confident person in my life. She told me the world includes a lot more than what you can see with your eyes. And she’s right.”

“Oh?”

“Yes,” Kyoko confirmed. “I understand, because I have been blind. When I lost my sight I felt like I had been put into a box and locked away, but then I realized that’s how I’ve always thought of myself.”

“Mogami-chan?”

The girl smiled up at him. “I’ve spent my life chasing after the backs of the people I wanted to love me, but living that way I have ignored all the other people around me who cares a lot for me. When mother told me to quit as an actress I thought I did it so that she would love me, but that’s not true either. What I wanted more than anything was for her to acknowledge me. I wanted Sho to acknowledge me and that’s why I entered showbiz in the first place. At least I thought so.”

Lory studied Kyoko’s face as she fell silent. She was smiling, but she looked sad and regretful.

“You thought you took the aptitude test because it would make Fuwa Sho acknowledge you.”

“Um, yes, sort of,” Kyoko admitted ruefully. “But it was also the only way for me to chase after him. I had nothing to go back to, so chasing him was the only thing left for me. And to be honest, I’m actually quite glad I did.”

Lory smiled back at the embarrassed face of the girl in front of him. “Oh? So it wasn’t all for naught then?”

“No. Because I’ve met so many wonderful people here. I have made so many friends. I’m going to miss them all, but Kirill-san is kind of right. I do need some time and distance right now.”

“Onee-sama.”

Kyoko blinked. “Is that Maria-chan’s voice?”

“Yes, she came to see you off as well,” Lory explained and gently pushed his granddaughter forward. She hadn’t said a word before now so it wasn’t surprising Kyoko hadn’t noticed the little girl.

Maria shyly stepped forward and reached for Kyoko’s hands that rested on top of her white stick.

“Onee-sama, will you be gone for a long time?”

Kyoko was silent for a moment, but Lory was under the impression it wasn’t only because of the question.

“Maria-chan, can you put my hand on your head?”

It seemed like an odd request, but Maria did as asked anyway, and Lory realized why when Kyoko shortened her stick and got down on her knees in front of the little girl. Really, that girl had always been incredibly clever, Lory thought. Kids aren’t as easily fooled as a lot of grownups like to think, and Kyoko most likely wanted Maria to know she was telling the truth.

“I don’t know how long I will be gone for, Maria-chan. But I will come back someday.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“Will you be gone for a long time?”

“Probably. I think that as long as I’m blind I’m not going to come back, and there is no real way to tell when that will happen.”

Maria fidgeted a little under Kyoko’s hand still resting lightly on the soft hair on top of her head.

“Ren-sama said he couldn’t talk to you.”

Kyoko just barely kept from sighing. Tsuruga-san. He was one of the main reasons she felt she couldn’t stay in Japan. Her mother was another reason and Sho a third. It wasn’t a lie that she needed time and distance. Going to Russia would assure she wouldn’t run into any of them before she was completely sure what her feelings were and how to handle them. She still felt betrayed by all of them.

“Will you give him a message from me, Maria-chan?”

“Uh… yes, of course.”

Kyoko fished in her pocket and took out a pretty blue and purple stone. Maria’s eyes widened and her mouth made a perfect o when she saw it.

“It’s really pretty, Onee-sama!”

“I know. This is my treasure Tsuruga-san gave me once upon a time. It has absorbed a lot of my grief so I don’t know how much use it still has, but will you give this to Tsuruga-san? Tell him that I will forgive him eventually, and then I will come back.”

“I promise!” Maria gave her word and held out her hands to ceremonially accept the gem.

The speakers came to life and a monotone voice called out for passengers of Areoflot to Moscow to go to their gate.

“That’s our plane,” Yuni called out and stood.

“I guess this is goodbye then,” Kyoko said sadly. “Take care of yourself, Maria-chan. I’m going to miss you a lot.”

“I will. Thank you Onee-sama. Have a safe trip.”

Kyoko smiled and got to her feet and faced Lory.

“Thank you for everything, president. I wish there was a word that explained just how grateful I am.”

Lory smiled sadly. He wished there was a word to tell this girl how sorry he was he hadn’t been able to help her more.

“Have a safe trip, and may your wounds heal properly with time.”

“Yes. I will make sure to heal, and then I will come back. I hope you’ll be prepared president, because I might be more than you can handle.”

That strong, confident look. It took Lory slightly by surprise, but he was no less pleased to see it there. Kyoko might have had a rough trip, one that might not end for a long time yet, but she had the strength and courage to face the life she wanted to life.

“I’ll be ready for you, Mogami-chan.”

“Come on now, Miss Mogami. We better get going,” Yuni said a short distance ahead of the Japanese girl.

“Coming. Thank you again, president.”

The man who Lory supposed was Kyoko’s new eyes to the world walked up and gently touched his hand on Kyoko’s. She responded by placing her hand on top of his and let him lead her away.

Lory watched her leave for a while before he turned to the tall blond man still standing by his side.

“I expect you take good care of her, Kirill Lastotjka,” the president spoke in Russian.

“I’m not going to give you a promise I can’t keep,” the blond man said without pause. “However, if you get her back more wounded than she is right now you have my permission to kill me.”

Lory nodded, satisfied. While the promise was too barbaric for his taste it still got the message across.

“Here.”

“Huh?”

Lory stared at the CD case the Russian man had shoved in his face.

“Fuva Sho and I wrote this song together thinking about Mogami Kyoko. Give it a listen. I think you find it very inspiring.”

With that the man left with long strides to catch up with his crew. Lory stared after him before looking back at the CD case. The front cover had an image of a wounded female soldier facing the light of a new day with the title “Still alive” written below her. It was quite fitting actually.

“Come on, Maria-chan. Let’s go home.”

“Will Onee-sama be alright?” the young girl asked as she took her grandfather’s hand with the blue stone in a tight grip in her other hand.

“She will,” Lory smiled and glanced at the CD case again. “She definitely will.”

* * *

 

Two months later the movie _Always a child_ was released. It wasn’t a grand movie, and not the greatest of successes either, but because of all the rumours that surrounded the movie it attracted a large audience. It did have a great impact on people though. After watching the movie a lot of parents went home and made sure to tell their children how much they loved them. And as the ending credits rolled, tears didn’t stop flowing from the eyes of the audience as a certain power ballad called “Still alive” played, a song written by Fuwa Sho together with the Russians that had visited Japan not too long ago.

 

I kept asking why I live when it hurts

I kept crying; let me die, kill me first

In that darkness a hand reached out to me

Here and now, let me help you see

 

**_We are still alive_ **

**_though we thought we would not survive_ **

**_Strong enough to strive_ **

**_for the edge of the darkness_ **

**_And you’re the only one, the only one I never want to fail_ **

**_Strong enough to strive_ **

**_We are still alive_ **

 

You stopped fighting, ceased to cry and try to stand

You stopped holding onto hope, dreams of sand

I know heartache, despair and grief so well

I know what is inside your shell

 

**_We are still alive…_ **

 

_We can leave, I’ll be beside you_

_Not alone, we have each other_

_Still alive to face the world and fight_

 

I kept asking; why I live when it hurts

You stopped fighting to stand

 

**_We are still alive_ **

**_though we thought we would not survive_ **

**_Strong enough to strive_ **

**_for the edge of the darkness_ **

**_And you’re the only one, the only one I never want to fail_ **

**_We are still alive_ **

**_Though we thought we would not survive_ **

**_Strong enough to strive_ **

**_for the edge of the darkness_ **

**_You’re the only one, the only one I never want to fail_ **

**_Strong enough to strive_ **

**_We are still alive_ **

**_We are still alive_ **


End file.
